Cruel Games
by kt2785
Summary: AU-Teenage Sawyer and Kate are step brother and sister. Jack and Claire are half brother and sister. Sawyer and Kate make a bet which will make both Jack and Claire's lives miserable. Skate, Jate, Conmama. Complete synopsis inside. Please R & R!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This story is completely AU and parts are OOC. It's based on Cruel Intentions (which is my favorite movie or at least one of my favorites), but it won't be completely Cruel Intentions. Although 'The Bet' is a tad bit different. Sawyer's dad, and Kate's mom got married when Sawyer was 15 and Kate was 14. It's 4 years later (so Sawyer is 19 and Kate is 18). As Kate and Sawyer conspire for Sawyer's next conquest (the gorgeous new neighbor Claire) will they realize that their attraction may be deeper than just lust? It's rated M for sexual content and language.**

Sawyer graduated high school last year. He wanted to drop out but his dad wouldn't let him. Kate is a senior in high school. Sawyer doesn't have a job, although he is very good at seducing women and then ruining their lives. When Sawyer first met Kate, she was a freshman and he was a sophomore. He wanted to corrupt her and all he wanted was to get her into bed, but she was only good at teasing him. She always found ways to make him think that he had a chance, and then she'd shoot him down.

Their parents got married 3 years later, which pissed Sawyer off, but only made it easier for Kate to tease Sawyer. She and Sawyer both sleep around, but while Sawyer can talk about his to all his friends, Kate has to keep quiet, aside from telling Sawyer (just to drive him insane, knowing that he'll never have her.). Kate doesn't want the reputation of school slut because she is the class president and sucks up to all the teachers. Everyone thinks she's perfect. But they don't know what goes on behind closed doors. And Kate always threatens the guys she sleeps with that if they do tell she'll make their life miserable.

Kate walked into the parlor wearing a short skirt and a tank top which showed off her cleavage. Sawyer nearly knocked over his glass of water as he watched her swagger in. She was holding a book in her arms and sat down next to him, making sure that her arm brushed up against his leg.

"Hey there Freckles," he said, putting emphasis on the nickname, because he knew how much she hated it.

"Hey James," she answered back, knowing that he hated his real name, and his dad was the only one who called him that, and only when he was in trouble.

"What do you want Katherine," he asked softly. "Couldn't stay away?"

He ran his hand against her leg, and toward her skirt. She moved away and scoffed.

"In your dreams cowboy."

"Yeah," he whispered. "You know you want me, just a matter of time."

"Well I did come in here to offer you a proposition," she answered, standing back up. "But if you're not interested-"

"Hold on Sassafras," he smirked. "What do you have in mind?"

She handed him the yearbook and sat back down. He opened it to the page which she had book marked and scanned the page. She hadn't circled any of the pictures or names, so he had no idea who she had in mind.

"Were you planning to let me in on her name?" he asked.

"Left page, second row, third, no fourth one to the left."

"Jack Shephard," he said softly. "No thanks Freckles, he ain't my type…y'know I like them less geeky…more muscle to my man."

"Sorry," she chuckled. "I was right the first time third one to the left."

"Claire Shephard," he replied. "What are Claire and Jack siblings?"

"Yep," she nodded. "Well actually I did my homework and their half siblings. Seems like Jack's dad is kind of a slut."

"Hmm, kind of like you," he said.

"Shut up," she scoffed. "You act like you're some kind of saint."

"Oh, now I never said that Kate," he replied. "I can admit to it when I sleep around."

"Anyway little miss Claire…well her daddy is going to become very respectable in the medical community. He just put in his app for chief of surgery. Claire and Jack have grown up as brother and sister. Claire's mom died when she was 2...so they've been a family ever since."

"Why is this even going to be a challenge?" he asked. "If they live close, I'll just go over there tomorrow, use that 'my momma's dead too' sob story…she'll be eating out of the palm of my hand-"

"Well Claire isn't exactly me," she answered proudly. "She's a virgin…and she vows to stay a virgin until marriage."

"What makes you think that?" he asked.

"Told you, I do my homework," she replied. "Plus just look at her. Cross around her neck, and promise ring on her finger. And her brother is just the same…he's waiting too."

"So what's the plan Freckles?" he asked. "You take him, I'll take her."

"Not a bad idea," she smiled. "In fact I'll make you a bet. I'll bet that I can get Jack in bed, before you can get Claire."

"Oh it's on!" he exclaimed.

"You haven't heard the terms," she replied.

"Ok…"

"If I win," she smiled. "Then that sweet car of yours is mine."

"My car," he scoffed. "Ok…then what do I get when I win."

"What you've always wanted," she answered. "Well at least for the past 3 years anyway."

"And what is that Freckles," he whispered, standing up and moving closer to her.

"Well," she said, stepping even closer, so they were almost standing on top of each other. "I'll be riding you all night cowboy."

"Really?" he asked. "Well what makes you think I'd even go for that, my car is a classic. It's worth-"

"More than this?" she asked. She leaned toward him and ran her hand down his stomach and to the top of his pants. "I know that you won't be able to resist me Sawyer…so when you can score…then we can score. But if you don't…fine."

Kate walked away from him and walked down the hallway. Sawyer groaned softly and followed her.

"Ok," he said. "It's a bet."

"Should we shake on it?" she asked. He shook his head slowly, and shoved her against the wall. She gasped slightly, but didn't try to get out of his grip. He leaned toward her and when their lips were almost touching she turned her cheek.

"Not until you succeed in your task dear brother," she whispered, and pushed him away.

Claire was sitting on her bed staring at the pile of boxes on the floor. The only thing that was unpacked was her stereo and a couple CD's. She was listening to music and filing her nails. There was a soft knock on the door.

"Claire?" Jack asked, and came into the bedroom.

"Hey," she smirked.

"How's the unpacking going?" he asked.

"Fine," she answered, continuing to look at the boxes which were still completely filled with all her stuff. He looked at the boxes too and chuckled.

"Me too," he replied. "I don't want to live here."

"Me neither," she shook her head. "I miss Rhode Island . I wish-I mean I guess it doesn't really matter because this is home now-but I just…dad sucks."

"Yeah, he's already opened the bottle of rum my mom went and bought. I don't even know why he bothers. He hates surgery."

"He loves it," she shook her head. "He just pretends to hate it so he has something to complain about."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," he sighed. "So do you want help unpacking?"

"No," she shook her head. "I think I'm just going to leave the boxes packed for a little while. Have something to look at."

"But isn't it driving you crazy?" he asked. "Your room back home was always spotless."

"Well maybe just a little," she answered. "I just don't know what else to do…it's all just a little overwhelming, so I thought I'd just sit here for a while."

"Oh ok," he nodded. "Mind if I sit with you?"

"Go ahead," she chuckled.

He sat down on the bed next to her and sighed. She frowned at him and he patted her on the shoulder.

"Things will work out," he shrugged. "I mean…maybe we'll love it here. No crazy winters…no more getting snowed in. No more-"

"White Christmases," she interrupted. "I just-never mind Jack. I know that it might all work out, bu ti'm just-I already miss my friends."

"I know," he nodded. "Me too. You wanna go exploring?" he asked. "Go knock on the neighbor's doors?"

"Not really," she shrugged.

"Yeah," he sighed. "Me neither…scoot over. Give me some room.

"Besides, we're the new neighbors," she answered, moving over. "Shouldn't they be the ones knocking on our door? Asking how the unpacking is going or if we need some dinner."

"Jack…Claire!" Christian's voice yelled. "We have some neighbors visiting! They look about your age too."

Jack and Claire looked at each other and laughed. Claire flicked off her stereo and headed for the door, with Jack following her.

**A/N: Ok…so I know the first chapter was a tad short, but it was mainly just to introduce you to the characters. And also by the way I have no problem with people who wear promise rings. I actually have the utmost respect for anyone who wears them. Anyway please review!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Dramafreak-Yeah, Kate will not be to the extent as Kathryn from Cruel Intentions. She's not going to be a coke addict or anything like that. It's a lose interpretation of who Kathryn is. :).  
****Lizi-Yes…I do enjoy Conmama…however as you know from my previous stories, I am a Skater, so there will be a Skate story line as well.  
****HeroLilly-a promise ring is a ring that some people wear to show that they aren't going to have sex until they're married. I just didn't want anyone to be offended by me putting it in my fic. Thanks for the review.  
****Just to let everyone know, this is Jate, and Skate. So there will be lots of Skate angst, and eventually some love too. In the beginning I will try to be as fair as I can with the balance of things. And also only the first few chapters will be based off Cruel Intentions. I'm not sure how long the Cruel Intentions story line will last, but it's going to change more Lost-like in later chapters.**

Sawyer and Kate were standing in the doorway. Kate smiled widely and looked over at Sawyer, who was checking out Claire. They stood in almost complete silence, which was a little bit of an awkward silence.

"Hey," Sawyer said stepping forward. "We wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood. I'm Sawyer."

"Claire," Claire chuckled. "This is my brother Jack."

"My sister Kate," Sawyer replied, shoving Kate playfully.

"Don't," she said shoving him back. "And he's not my brother…he's my stepbrother. Anyway I'm Kate. It's nice meeting you Jack…Claire."

"We should probably," Claire began. "Y'know we just moved…still have some unpacking to do."

"Don't be rude Claire," Christian said, coming back into the hallway. "Invite your new friends to dinner. We're ordering pizza. Do you want to stay?"

"Oh we can't," Sawyer shook his head. "It's actually our turn to make dinner for our parents. We just thought we'd come over here…say hi. Maybe we'll see ya'll tomorrow."

"Ok," Claire smiled.

Jack and Claire walked back into the house and into the kitchen. Christian and Margo were unpacking the boxes in the kitchen. Claire sat down at the table.

"How are the new neighbors?" Margo asked.

"Claire's got a crush," Jack smirked.

"Do not!" she exclaimed.

"Oh come on," he chuckled. "You were practically drooling!"

"Shut up what about you and Kate?" she asked. "You couldn't even talk."

"She was definitely pretty," he replied.

"I hope he comes back tomorrow," Claire smiled.

* * *

Kate and Sawyer flopped down on the couch, and Sawyer smirked at Kate.

"I don't think that could have gone any better," he said victoriously. "She'll be begging for me in a day or two. Jack on the other hand…he seems a little harder to get."

"Oh don't worry," she answered. "Tomorrow I plan on telling him everything. Him and Claire."

"You mean about the bet?" he asked. "He won't even go near you if you tell him."

"Not about the bet dumb ass," she responded. "I'll just tell him that you're planning on seducing his little sister. He won't let you anywhere near her."

"She'll come near me again Freckles," he stated. "Didn't you see the look on her face when she saw me. She's already infatuated. She'll be dreamin' of me tonight. And thanks y'know…that Claire, she's even hotter in person."

"Hotter than me?" she asked, turning toward him and climbing on his lap.

"You're cheating Kate," he whispered.

"My bet…my rules," she answered, grinding against him. "Is she hotter than me?"

"Well, depends," he said, shifting under her. "You're only hot because you know how to work your body Freckles. She's gorgeous and innocent. And I've always been one for the blondes."

"Oh shut up," she scoffed.

"Make me," he answered, grabbing on to her hips and butt cheeks. She leaned toward him and kissed his lips softly. He opened his mouth to invite her in, but she backed away and stood up.

"Jack's not so bad either," she said, beginning to walk away.

"Claire's prettier," he told her with a slight smirk. Kate scoffed and walked away, leaving Sawyer hard and unsatisfied. He unbuttoned his pants and sighed deeply.

* * *

The next morning Sawyer went out back in his bathing suit. They had an in ground pool in the back yard, along with a hot tub. Kate's bedroom over looked the pool. She always slept with the window opened and she heard Sawyer splash into the water. She went to the window and looked down at him. He was swimming completely naked.

She watched him and smirked to herself. He liked to swim in the mornings, and he always seemed to swim naked. Usually she would leave it alone and not say anything, but she thought she'd have a little fun. She was still wearing her pajamas, a thin white tee shirt, and a pair of shorts. She walked down the stairs and went outside. She stood next to the pool with her arms crossed. Sawyer surfaced the water and looked up at her with a smirk.

"Put on some pants," she scoffed. "What are you doing?"

"Swimming," he responded. "Why don't you go over and get Missy Claire?"

"Like I'm gonna help you win," she chuckled.

"Fine," he said. He moved away from the side of the pool, and acted as if he was going to splash her.

"Don't you dare," she warned him.

"Alright," he stated with a smirk. Before Kate could walk away, Sawyer stood up and took her by the arm, and pulled her into the pool. She screamed before she hit the water and then resurfaced. Her shirt was now completely see through and Sawyer looked down at her body. He put his hands on her waist and smirked.

"You asshole!" she exclaimed and shoved him.

"You look hot, all wet and cold," he whispered. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her lips. She quickly backed away and climbed out of the pool. She scoffed loudly and took his towel. She wrapped it around her body, quickly picked up his clothes and went inside the house. She locked the door before going upstairs to change.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Dammit."

He and Kate were alone in the house so he had no way of getting back inside. Kate's bedroom had a fire escape leading up to it. He took a rock out of the garden and went up the stairs. He stood at the door going into Kate's room. She had just made it up the stairs and looked at him standing outside. She smiled at him widely, in victory. He smiled too and threw the rock at the window. It shattered and Sawyer stepped in. He grabbed Kate violently by the arm and threw her on the bed.

"Sawyer don't!" she screamed. He crawled on top of her and pinned her down.

"Don't what?" he whispered calmly. "Some angry neighbor threw a rock through your window because you're a royal bitch. And Kate, I know you haven't been fucked in months. You want me. You've wanted me ever since the first time you watched me swimming naked in your mom's pool. You want me."

"Yeah," she trembled, half way from being scared and half because she was actually excited. "The only time I'll fuck you is in your dreams brother."

"Au contraire Freckles," he said softly into her ear. "Just give me another week, and I'll be fucking you so hard that you won't be able to ever stay away from me."

"Get off of me," she growled. He chuckled and got off of her. She smirked and looked at her wrists which each had a small bruise already forming from Sawyer holding on to her. She got dressed and made sure to wear a baggy sweatshirt. She bounced happily down the stairs and then started walking next door to the Shephard's house. She got to the front door and mustered up some tears. She had always been a good actress, and everyone told her that she should try out for the school plays, but she never did. Once the tears were resting in her eyes, without falling she rang the doorbell, hoping that Jack would answer.

"I got it Claire!" Jack's voice exclaimed. Kate smiled to herself, and then turned her smile to a frown. He opened the door and Kate looked at him sadly.

"Kate?" Jack asked. "What's wrong?"

She burst into tears and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back, slightly confused and lead her into the house.

"Can I talk to you?" she sniffled.

"Sure," he whispered. "My room is just down the hall. Claire's in the other room, lemme go tell her that we need a minute."

"Thanks," she nodded. She walked down to Jack's room and smiled even wider. It was working like a charm. She sat down on Jack's bed and waited for him to come back. Jack came back, he walked over to her and sat down.

"Kate," he began. "Are you alright?"

"He raped me!" she exclaimed and started sobbing all over again.

"What?" he asked.

"I know I don't know you," she breathed. "And I probably shouldn't have even come here, but I'm scared, and I have no where else to go."

"Ok," he sighed. "But who-"

"He's been infatuated with me since our parents got married," she sniffled. "I just-"

She rolled her sleeves up and showed Jack where the bruises on her wrists were. He sighed again and touched her arms softly.

"Will you just protect me?" she whispered. "I know we just met-I just need someone."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her again. She rested her head on his shoulder and smiled again to herself, without letting Jack know. She backed away and kissed his lips. He backed away and looked at her.

"Kate," he whispered, and shook his head. "Come on."

"I'm sorry," she chuckled and sniffled. "I'm just a mess. Maybe I should just go-"

"No," he shook his head. "It's alright. Stay. I just don't think you're really in the right emotional state-"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I know. You're right. Jack…tell Claire to be careful. When Sawyer wants something bad enough, he'll do anything. He'll do anything to get what he wants. And he told me last night that he thinks your sister is pretty."

"Do you think he'd do it again?" he asked.

"If he could rape me," she shrugged. "I can tell on him...I'll tell his dad. And if he can risk me telling his dad...I think he's capable of anything. He's not exactly an innocent guy."

While Kate and Jack were talking in his bedroom, there was another knock on the door. This time it was much softer. Claire sighed softly and went to the door. Sawyer was standing in front of her with a large smile on his face.

"You wanna go on a tour of the city?" he asked.

"Sure," she smiled back and took him by the hand. "Jack! I'm leaving! I'll be back later!"

Jack heard Claire calling through the house. He quickly stood up and went to the door. By the time he got to the door Claire was gone, and in Sawyer's car. Sawyer sped off before Jack could stop them. Jack sighed deeply and went back into the house. He slammed the door.

"Dammit!" he exclaimed.

Kate came into the hallway and looked down at him.

"What happened?" she asked softly.

"He took my sister," he answered. "They left together. If anything happens to her Kate-it's gonna be all my fault."

"She'll be ok," she whispered.

"You just told me yourself that he's capable of anything," he replied. "What if he attacks her?"

"Well then she'll know to stay away from him," she answered.

Sawyer drove down the road and kept looking at Claire with a smile on his face. Claire couldn't help but to smile back.

"You're gorgeous," he whispered.

"Thank you," she smiled. "Do you tell all the girls that?"

"Not exactly," he answered. "Where do you wanna go?"

"Where does everyone hang out?" she asked with a smile.

Under any other normal circumstance Sawyer would have taken her straight to Make-out Point, where he would take all his conquests. But this girl was different. He knew that it would take more than just a trip to Make-out Point to get her to give in to him. He looked at her cross slightly uncomfortably and then looked at her promise ring. She noticed him looking and let out a soft chuckle.

"It's a promise ring," she answered.

"I know," he nodded. "Kinda stupid if you ask me."

"Excuse me," she scoffed. "Who are you to judge my beliefs? Just because I don't want to be a slut doesn't mean-"

"Hey," he interrupted. "Just because a person is having sex before marriage doesn't mean they're a slut. You can be in a relationship with someone and be having sex without being a slut."

"Well you are aren't you?" she asked. "I mean aren't you kind of a slut?"

"What?" he asked.

"I know who you are," she chuckled. "I know about you. You seduce young, stupid girls, and pretend like you're prince charming just so they'll sleep with you."

"And where did you hear that?"

"I have my sources," she answered. "I'm not just some stupid little rich girl…just like I know you're not stupid, but if you think insulting my beliefs and taking me on a nice little drive around town is going to make me give in to temptation, then you're wrong. Besides I have a boyfriend."

"And what does he think about your promise?" he asked.

"He thinks it's very commendable. He respects my choice," she answered.

"He's probably gay," he chuckled.

"Shut up," she scoffed. "Just because a guy doesn't want to have sex doesn't mean he's gay. Can you just take me home?"

"Ok," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I just don't like being attacked for what _I _believe. Sex is perfectly natural Claire. You fall in love and you show that love…there ain't nothing wrong with that."

"Like I said…I know all about you-"

"You don't know shit about me Claire," he answered. "You say you have your sources, but you haven't told me what they are…you don't know anything about me. If you think that I'm a slut go ahead…but I think anyone can change their ways. I guess I'll take you home now."

Sawyer drove home, and the rest of the car ride was silent. Sawyer went back home, and Claire went to her house. She went inside and sighed softly. She was already starting to like him…even knowing what she did.

"Claire!" Jack exclaimed. "Claire are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she nodded. "Why?"

"I want you to stay away from him," he answered. "He's-he's a criminal. Stay away from him."

"You can't tell me who to be friends with Jack," she replied. "And you can't always believe everything you hear."

Kate smirked and left the house to go back home. She went up the stairs and was stopped right before she got to her room, by Sawyer.

"Hey sis," he smirked. "Nice try, but she's already falling head over heals."

"Not if Jack has anything to say about it," she smiled.

**A/N: Pleasse pleasse review!!**


	3. Chapter 3

The next day, Claire was in her room reading. Jack came in behind her. She hadn't really spoken to him since the day before. He had tried to talk to her, but she just thought that he was trying to tell her what to do. He cleared his throat to get her attention, but she didn't turn toward him, even though she knew he was there. He walked further into the room and jumped onto the bed next to her.

"Come on Claire talk to me," he sighed.

"Why do you hate him?" she asked. "You don't even know him."

"Neither do you Claire," he replied. "And plus-I mean…what about those letters-"

"You went through my personal things?" she scoffed.

"Claire I'm trying to protect you," he answered.

"No you're not!" she exclaimed. "You're trying to tell me who to be friends with! Maybe those stupid letters that I got are fake. Maybe Mrs. Bentley just wanted to keep me away from him. Maybe-"

"Maybe Claire," he sighed. "But what if-what if all he's trying to do is get in your pants. What if he's not a good person?"

"Well maybe I just want to find out for myself. He seems really genuine Jack."

"Don't you get it?" he asked. "That's what these type of people do. They make you feel so good about yourself and then they totally play you."

"What about Kate?" she asked. "Have you ever thought, maybe, just maybe she was making all that crap about Sawyer up? What if she's just playing you."

"She wouldn't do that," Jack shrugged. "She's genuine…plus she's the class president."

"Well just to remind you Jack," Claire began. "You don't know her. At least I realize that Sawyer has the capacity to hurt me…to use me. But maybe I can change him. Maybe I can make him fall in love and maybe…maybe he won't hurt me."

"He's older than you," Jack murmured. "You're only 17 Claire."

"Yeah, and he's 19. Jack, if memory serves me you're 20, and Kate's 18...same exact age difference."

"I gotta get ready to go to class," he sighed. "Claire, just be careful. Don't do anything stupid."

"So now I'm stupid?" she asked.

"Claire you know that's not what I meant," he scoffed. "I just mean…Sawyer's smart…but you show all of us that you're smarter."

"I can take care of myself," she sighed. "In fact…I'm going over there right now."

"Claire-" he began.

"No Jack," she interrupted. "I know you want to protect me and you want to be my big brother forever, but I want to make my own mistakes. If Sawyer ends up hurting me…then I give you permission to say 'I told you so'…but if he ends up being the best thing for me…then I get to say it."

"Ok," he chuckled.

Claire left the house and walked next door. She took a deep breath before she knocked on the door. She shifted slightly waiting for someone to answer the door. She finally heard movement and Kate opened the front door.

"Hi Claire," Kate smiled. "How are you?"

"Good," she nodded. "Is Sawyer home?"

"Um, no," Kate shook her head. "He went out last night, and isn't back yet."

"Oh ok," she whispered. "Um…can you tell him I stopped by."

"Sure," she answered.

Kate shut the door and rolled her eyes. She walked up the stairs and bumped into Sawyer coming down the stairs.

"Who was at the door?" he asked.

"Oh, just some sales person," she smirked.

"It was Claire wasn't it?" he scoffed. "You're cheating."

"I'm just-"

Before Kate could finish her sentence Sawyer was down the stairs and out the door. He ran after Claire and caught her by the arm before she got to her front walk.

"Claire," he breathed. "I'm sorry about Kate. She's-I dunno what's wrong with her."

"My brother doesn't really think too highly of you either," she smiled.

"Well if memory serves me Miss Claire, you accused me of being a slut just yesterday," he responded.

"Ok," she chuckled and nodded. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't-I shouldn't judge you on what someone else says…but I dunno. I mean you're cute and I guess I kinda like you. But I don't really trust you."

"Oooh," he said putting his hand to his chest. "That hurts. How can you say that you don't trust me when you know nothing about me?"

"Maybe because the only thing I've heard about you is your reputation," she answered. "But I kinda like driving Jack crazy by coming out and talking to you."

"So you're using me…just to drive your brother crazy?" he asked.

"I'm not using you," she shook her head.

"Why don't you just give me a chance?" he whispered. "Come to your own conclusions."

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Just one date," he answered. "If you still think I'm scum…I'll leave you alone."

"When?" she asked.

"Tonight," he smiled. She smiled back and rolled her eyes, but they both knew that her answer was yes.

That night Kate watched Sawyer get ready for the date. She was sitting in his room messing with the objects on his desk, and watching him finish getting dressed. He walked over to her, and took the paper weight that she kept tossing in the air, out of her hand.

"You mind leaving?" he asked, putting the paper weight down and staring at her.

"Fine," she sighed. "Lemme know how it goes tonight."

She stood up and stepped toward him. He looked down at her and smirked.

"Will do," he whispered. "In fact you might know from her screams of pleasure."

"There is no way," she shook her head.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "One can only hope."

Sawyer took Claire to dinner and the movies. He was a complete gentleman the entire time, which surprised Claire. Sawyer was actually starting to feel something for her too. When they got back home Sawyer walked Claire up to her door.

"Thanks," she smiled. "I had a nice time."

"Me too," he nodded. "Do you-can I give you a goodnight kiss?"

Claire turned her cheek and tapped it with her finger. He kissed her cheek and ran his hand down her arm.

"G'night," he whispered.

"Goodnight Sawyer," she replied. "Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely," he answered.

Sawyer went back home and went up the stairs. He could hear Kate moaning rather loudly in her bedroom. He knew damn well that it wasn't Jack, but he smiled to himself and knocked on the door.

"Just a second," Kate said, still moaning.

"One thousand one," Sawyer counted and opened the door. Kate was alone in her bed. Sawyer chuckled and sat down on the end of her bed.

"I said hold on a second," Kate stated, sitting up.

"And I counted to 1," he smirked.

"Now what are you here for?" she asked, leaning toward him and putting her arms around him from behind.

"To tell you about my date," he answered. "It went well."

"How well?" she asked.

"I didn't screw her if that's what you mean," he answered.

"Oh," she responded, taking her arms from around her. "Then what the hell are you doing here?"

"You said you wanted to know," he shrugged. "But don't worry Freckles…you'll have the real thing in no time…instead of your little toys."

"I know," she raised her eyebrows. "I'm gonna have Jack. He's gonna be giving me the best sex of my life."

"Well you haven't had me yet darlin'," he shook his head. "And even if you end up having sex with Jack before I have sex with Claire…you'll still want me. You will always want me…desire me. Especially since we could get caught at any moment by one of our parents."

He leaned toward her and ran his tongue over her lips. She gasped slightly and backed away.

"No," she shook her head. "I don't want anything to do with you."

"Yeah you do," he nodded. "You can't stand it that I'm giving all my attention to Claire…she's the one that I spent the night with. I held her hand and kissed her on the cheek…I didn't treat her like a slut and that kills you because you know that's all you're ever gonna be."

"Stop," she said wiping the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"You're pathetic," he told her. "I'm going to succeed before you to because Jack won't ever want to be with a slut like you."

Kate smacked Sawyer hard in the face and forced him out of her room. She slammed the door and lowered herself to the floor in tears.

"Hmm, you have a heart after all Freckles," he mumbled on the other end of the door. He almost felt guilty for what he said…almost.

**A/N: Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

Kate didn't bother to wipe her tears. Any other normal day she would have gone straight over to Jack's house and use it to her advantage, but instead she crawled into bed and curled up. Sawyer was still waiting out in the wall because he knew that she would leave to go crying to Jack. He waited and she still didn't appear. He went to her door and pressed his ear up to the door and could hear her sniffling softly. He sighed softly and opened the door. Kate rolled over away from the door.

"Get out of my room or I'll scream," she said softly.

"No you won't," he answered.

"Moooom-" Kate began screaming at the top of her lungs, but Sawyer jumped onto the bed next to her and covered her mouth with his hand.

"Shut up," he said into her ear.

"Gerrofmeyoufugingahole," she tried to say, but he still had his hand covering her mouth.

"Are you done?" he asked. He carefully took his hand from her mouth, but was still pinning her down with his other hand.

"Are you?" she whispered.

"Am I what?" he said softly.

"Done making me feel like the town slut?" she asked.

"Kate…" he started.

"You never call me Kate," she said. "Go away."

"Don't tell me that what I just said actually hurt your feelings?" he stated. "You don't have any feelings."

"Yeah," she nodded. "You're right. Just a heartless bitch with no real feelings."

"I didn't-" he sighed.

"Go away!" she yelled. "I hate you!"

"I hate you more," he said so quietly that Kate wasn't sure if she even heard him correctly. Then he bent down and kissed her roughly. She kissed him back and let him keep control. He ran his hand down her body and she moaned softly into his mouth. She started stripping off his clothes and her own. She was laying underneath him in just her bra and underwear, and he was in his boxers. She smirked up at him and kneed him in the groin.

"Get the fuck away from me," she said coldly. He groaned loudly in pain and rolled off of her. He walked back to his room with his clothes, and Kate smiled to herself. She felt satisfied that they were now even, but part of her wished that she had just kept going with him. The way he kissed her and touched her was unlike anything else she had experienced. Even though he was being rough, he was still being sensual and made her think that he could actually like her.

Sawyer went back to his room and laid down in bed. He honestly did feel a little guilty for making Kate cry, but part of him thought that maybe it was just a ploy. Both of them had always been good at making each others lives miserable. He thought about his date with Claire, and knew that she would eventually fall in love with him, and it would be easy to con her in to having sex with him. But he was already beginning to have some feelings for this young naïve girl and he didn't know if he could hurt her that way. Thinking back to the bet he made with Kate…it would be easy. Just thinking about the things he would do to Kate. Even if she fell in love with someone else in the process, Sawyer knew that she would never be able to stay away.

Over the next several weeks Sawyer slowly got to see Claire more and more. She had let him get to second base once, but mostly they just kissed. He could tell that she was probably feeling guilty about cheating on her boyfriend, but he figured that she'd probably never see her boyfriend again.

They were sitting in his room listening to music. They started kissing and Claire reached for his hand. He looked at her somewhat curiously trying to figure out what she was doing. She put his hand against the bottom of her shirt.

"What are you doing?" he asked. She smiled coyly and then quickly lifted her shirt up over her head. "Blondie I-"

"Shh," she said softly. "I'm not saying we're going all the way yet."

Later that night after Claire left, Sawyer was still in his room. He hadn't made much time to torment Kate with lately. He knew that she was jealous, and he knew that she missed him teasing her. He knew because he kinda missed it too. But he thought he'd give her a few more days of squirming. He almost hoped that she would come find him. Suddenly he heard a door slam, stomps up the steps and then Kate's bedroom door slam. He reluctantly got up to go talk to her. Her mom was gone, and he knew most of the reason she made such a spectacle was because she wanted her mom to come ask her what was wrong. He knocked on her bedroom door.

"Go away mom," she stated.

"I ain't mom sweetheart," he said, coming into the room.

"Leave me alone," she scoffed.

"What happened?"

"I'm gonna lose," she answered. He thought maybe she was upset, but now he realized that she was just pissed off.

"Ok," he half chuckled. "What happened?"

_Flashback_

Kate had been just as diligent in trying to get Jack to crack. She thought that he would be easier than Claire, but all he seemed to want was friendship. It had been 3 weeks of hanging out as friends. Watching stupid sitcoms on TV at the Shephard's, being invited for dinner without a goodnight kiss. Not only was Kate pissed because she was going to lose the bet, but she was also horny.

She and Jack had eaten dinner and now they were in his room. Kate usually sat on a chair in Jack's room, while he took the bed. She was looking at him, and waited until he noticed. When he looked at her she smiled at him and made her way to the bed. She crawled next to him and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Kate," he whispered.

"I know," she interrupted and nodded. "You want to take this slow, and start off as friends. I get that. But come on…it's been almost three weeks."

She leaned up and kissed his lips. He kissed her back and rolled over on top of her. Kate was actually somewhat surprised at how aggressive he was being. He wasn't being rough, but definitely aggressive and confident.

"Jack I-oh sorry," Claire's voice said from behind them. "Sorry."

"It's ok," Jack sighed and rolled away from Kate. "What's up Claire?"

"Jack, we can talk later," she shook her head.

"No," he said. "It-it was nothing. I want to know what that barbarian said to you today."

"He's not a barbarian," she scoffed. "Y'know I was gonna tell you all about it but maybe now-"

"No I want to know," he said, stopping her again.

"I think I'm in love with him," she sighed and smiled.

"Really?" he asked.

"Jack he's so sweet to me when we're alone. You don't know him like I do," she said. "I think I'm ready to take this off."

She looked down at her ring somewhat nervously.

"What?!" he exclaimed. "Claire you-"

"I know," she nodded. "I know it sounds crazy, and I know I said I was going to wait till marriage, but what's wrong with-what's wrong with having sex-making love with a man who clearly loves me. I mean…even if we don't end up getting married, I love him. And I want to show him how much."

"Claire you've-you've barely known him a month."

"I know," she whispered. "But we've spent every day together in 3 weeks. I know him better than-well anyone except maybe you, but you're my brother and that's just-well it's normal to be close-I don't care what you think Jack. Well I do…but-what do you think?"

"I think you're crazy," he shook his head. "But you're my sister and I love you, and if he hurts you…I'll be here to pick up the pieces."

"And then to say I told you so right?" she chuckled.

"Well of course," he laughed.

Claire disappeared out of the door, and Kate grabbed Jack by the face and kissed him. He began kissing her back, and then she crawled on top of him.

"Kate-" he started.

"Shh, if they can have sex, then so can we," she whispered.

"Kate," he stopped her. "I think that Claire is crazy. She doesn't love Sawyer-"

"How do you know?" she asked. "She might? And isn't she your _little_ sister? Beat her at her own game."

"I'm sorry Kate," he shook his head. "I really really care about you…but I'm not going to have sex with you just to beat Claire. I want to wait till I'm at least in love."

"Why?" she asked. "I mean when something feels good…and it's not hurting anyone-"

"Kate I think you should go," he sighed.

_Flashback Over_

Sawyer couldn't help himself but to stifle a laugh. There was really no need to stifle it since Kate was sitting right next to him and heard him anyway. She shoved him and shook her head.

"Oh I'm sorry," he laughed. "I just-I'm gonna win. And there's nothing you can do about it."

He got up and left the room. Kate stood up and shut the door behind her. She went to her night side table. She had a forged letter written by Sawyer explaining to Claire everything about the bet (conveniently leaving out the information about Jack being involved in the bet).

"That's what you think," she said with a smirk to herself.

**A/N: So it was really funny because today my boss came into work and she we got to talking about addicting TV shows, and she was like "My favorite is Lost." I was like "OMG Me too!" and then I did what I always do when I meet people who watch Lost...I have to ask if they're SKate or Jate. Now granted I didn't say Skate/Jate to my boss...lol but you get my drift. Anyway I said "Jack or Sawyer with Kate?" and she goes "Oh Jack. But I've always been a good guy kinda girl...I don't like bad boys." In my head I was like 'We can't be friends'. lol because my favorite couples are Sawyer/Kate, Logan/Veronica, Spike/Buffy, and Jess/Rory...all bad boys. ha. But anyway so I got into a debate with her about how Sawyer has turned into such a good guy. And she goes "Well Jack would have jumped out of the helicopter too." to which I had to laugh. I went "Yeah but he didn't!" hahaha. Anyway I just thought I'd share my moment with people who might just appreciate it. If you thought it was an annoying story sorry...but ****PPPPLLLLEEEAASEE REVIEW! **


	5. Chapter 5

Kate walked up the steps to the Shephard's house. She smirked at herself and knocked on the door. She was hoping that Claire would be the one to open the door, and sure enough the perky blonde came to the door and opened the door.

"Hi Kate," she smiled. "Jack's not here, he has class."

"Actually I'm here to see you," Kate answered. "Claire, I know we don't know each other that well so it's kinda hard to do this. Sawyer asked me to bring this to you."

_Dear Claire_

_I'm sorry to do this in this way, but I don't know what else to do. I can't ever see you again. You're pure and beautiful, and that's just not for me. I'm in love with someone else. Someone who is so amazing, and someone who can keep up with me. I've been sleeping with other women the past 3 months. None of what has happened in the past 3 months means anything to me and I can't pretend anymore. I made a bet with Kate that I could have sex with you. But I can't do it anymore. Don't try to contact me, I want nothing to do with you._"Did you read this?" Claire asked softly. _I wrote it._ Kate thought to herself.

"Uh, well," Kate began.

"Is he home?" Claire asked.

"Well-" Kate started.

"Whatever," she scoffed. "Can you just leave? I'd kind of like to be alone."

"I'm sorry Claire," Kate said, trying hard not to smile. Kate went back home victoriously and went up the stairs.

Claire went to her room and felt like crying, but didn't. She went to her closet and took out her Halloween costume from the year before. She had been a nurse. Her parents weren't very happy about it, but she went to a costume party where you had to come as your polar opposite. Her nurse costume was a little revealing, but she thought that it was fun to lose her inhibitions for one night. It was a short dress, accompanied with thigh high white stockings, and white high heels.

She walked over to the Ford's house wearing her costume underneath a long coat. She knocked on the door and let herself in the house without waiting for an answer. She walked up the stairs and went to Sawyer's room. He was laying on his bed staring at the ceiling.

"How dare you," she whispered.

"What?" he asked, sitting up and looking at her very confused.

"Is this what you want?" she asked. She stepped further in to the room and slammed the door. She unbuttoned her coat and tossed it on the floor.

"Claire I don't-"

"I can keep up with you," she told him, stepping toward him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"Don't play dumb," she scoffed. "Look I don't know who you're in love with, and I don't know who you'd be having sex with considering we spend pretty much every waking moment together, but I can be sexy. I can keep up with you."

Before Sawyer could say another word Claire got onto his lap and kissed his lips quickly and vigorously. Sawyer didn't want to protest, so instead he flipped over on top of her and kissed her back.

"I don't know what you're talking about but I'm loving this side of you," he whispered.

"Do you want to fuck me Sawyer?" she asked, acting almost angry (because she was). "Is that _all _I am to you? A fucking bet?"

"No," he said. "Claire what-"

She pulled the letter out of her pocket and got off of him. She handed him the letter and stood in front of the bed with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I didn't write this," he argued.

"I don't believe you," she shook her head. "Well you're gonna lose that bet Sawyer."

She started leaving, and he quickly got off the bed and stood in front of the door. Before he could explain, or before she could protest again he pressed his lips to hers. He walked with her back over to the bed and laid down, bringing her with him.

"No," she shook her head again, and started pushing her away.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "Claire…I'll tell you everything. Just don't leave."

"Fine," she sighed and closed her eyes.

"I made a bet with Kate," he began. "I bet her that I could-that we would have sex before she could have sex with Jack."

"Really nice," she scoffed. "Y'know Sawyer…you're really pathetic. I was actually going to come over here tomorrow and have sex with you. I told-Kate…she sabotaged you on purpose. You really didn't write that letter."

"No I didn't," he shook his head. "And I'm not sleeping with anyone else, and I'm not in love with anyone else. And just for the record…even though this started out as a bet…it's way more than that now."

"Really?" she asked with a slight smile. He nodded and wrapped his arms around her. It was the truth in that he didn't want to hurt her, and he was starting to have some feelings for her, because of spending so much time with her, but at the same time he knew what to say to make her forgive him.

"Claire I like you," he said softly. "We don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

"I love you," she whispered. Instead of giving her a verbal answer, Sawyer leaned toward her and kissed her slowly. She moaned and tried to catch her breath. He moved from her mouth to her neck. She took a deep breath and looked at him. "I want this."

"What?" he asked, slightly shocked.

"I told myself that I wanted to wait till marriage Sawyer, but people change," she responded. "Every time you kiss me, I just want more and more. Sawyer I want this."

He leaned toward her again and kissed her even slower. He moved his hands down her body, but didn't attempt to undress her. She rolled over so she was under him. She started unbuttoning his pants and he stopped her.

"What?" she asked, looking up at him slightly confused.

"Claire, are you sure?" he asked. "I don't-what if you regret it?"

"I won't," she shook her head. "I'm just a little scared."

"I'll be careful, if you're sure," he smiled.

"I'm sure," she nodded and smiled. He kissed her down her neck and down her chest. She sat up, and he helped her out of her dress. He pulled her stockings off one at a time and ran his hand up her leg. She breathed in sharply and he let go of her leg.

"Claire," he began. "If you can't handle me touching your leg-"

"No I can," she replied. "P-please Sawyer. I-I want this so badly."

He leaned down and kissed her again. She was in her bra and underwear. He pulled her bra off and tossed it next to the dress on the floor. He ran his hands down her body again and stared down at her. They looked at each other for just a moment and then Sawyer pulled her underwear off carefully. He ran his hand against her thigh again and she chuckled.

"I'm ticklish," she said, moving slightly underneath him. She moaned again and he touched her. He slid his hand between her legs and started lightly touching her.

"Do you want me to stop?" he whispered.

"No," she moaned. He pushed one finger into her slowly and she moaned loudly. Sawyer chuckled to himself. He carefully added another finger and she moaned again, this time softer, but deeper. He pleasured her and wanted to make her climax before he did anything else. She started shaking underneath him and she came.

"Oh my God," she said softly.

"Haven't you ever-" he started.

"No," she interrupted knowing what his question was going to be. "I've never had an orgasm. Because I've never had the chance. Remember…virgin."

"Well I remember that darlin'," he began. "But ain't you ever tried anything on your own?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Well do you want to stop?" he asked. "I mean…we don't have to have sex tonight. We can just lay here."

"But have you-" she started.

"It's all good," he shrugged.

"No," she shook her head. "I want more. I want to see it."

He smirked at her and moved out of his pants. He laid back down on top of her and started grinding against her slowly. She panted and started kissing him, and grinding back. She pulled his boxers down and guided him to her entrance. He pushed down slowly and she took a deep breath, not expecting his girth.

"You ok?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," she moaned. "Harder."

They both were moaning and moving against each other. Sawyer moved slowly and brushed her hair out of her face. He didn't bother covering either of their moans. He hoped that Kate could hear them.

In fact Kate could hear them. She was laying in her room staring at the ceiling fan spinning over her head. She listened to their moans, and then started touching herself. She heard Claire moaning Sawyer over and over again. Sawyer wasn't saying anything, but he was moaning loudly too. When the moaning stopped, Kate rolled over to try to go to sleep.

Claire and Sawyer were laying in each other's arms. She smiled at him contentedly and sighed.

"I'm really glad we just did that," she said.

"Me too," he chuckled. Her phone rang startling them both out of their peace. Claire rolled over and answered the phone. Sawyer could hear Christian yelling at her on the other end.

"Claire get your ass home right now!" he exclaimed. "You are not going to see that Sawyer ever again!"

"Yes I am dad, you can't tell me who to be friends with!" she yelled back.

"Fine," Christian said. "But I still want you home tonight. You can see him tomorrow."

Claire scoffed and hung up the phone. She looked at Sawyer somewhat guiltily and shook her head.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I gotta go home."

"S'alright," he replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Ok," she nodded. She leaned toward him, kissed him, got redressed, and left the room. Sawyer smiled to himself. Even though the main reason why Sawyer had sex with her was because of the bet, he was really glad that he did. Claire was a sweet girl, and it was the best lay he had had in a while. He got out of bed and went down the hall to the bathroom.

He kept looking at Kate's door, and finally decided he would go gloat. He knocked on the door and let himself in. Kate appeared to have been sleeping, but he knew that she really wasn't. He walked over to the bed and shoved her shoulder playfully.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"I succeeded," he smiled.

"Really?" she said. "I hadn't noticed. The entire house could hear you James."

"Sorry about that," he chuckled.

"Did you come here to tell me, or did you come to collect your prize?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I'm not really in the mood anymore."

"Why?" she asked. "You're always in the mood for me."

She took his hand and put it down the front of her nightgown. He looked at her slightly curious, slightly confused. She guided his hand to her breast and he knew what to do from there. He looked at her and then pulled his hand away. Then he headed toward the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Back to my room," he answered obviously. Kate waited about a minute, and then got out of bed. She had been wearing underwear, but she stepped out of them. She was still covered by her nightgown and walked down the hall to Sawyer's room. She didn't bother to knock before going into his room. He was already in bed, wearing only his boxers. She walked toward the bed and he shook his head.

"Told you," he mumbled. "Not in the mood."

"Well guess what," she started. "I am."

She climbed on top of him, and without waiting she kissed him sensually, he kissed her back. She straddled his legs and moved against him quickly. She lifted her nightgown over her legs and hips and he discovered that she was naked under her nightgown.

"Freckles," he growled. She pulled his boxers down, but not all the way off and crawled on top of him. She stayed just close enough to him so that his erection was almost entering her, but not quite.

"Am I sexy?" she asked.

"You know you are," he breathed and moaned.

"Sexier than her?" she questioned.

"Uh," he began, but couldn't quite finish his phrase.

"Say it," she said pinning him down.

"You're sexier," he replied, hardly paying attention to his own words.

"You want me," she whispered in his ear. "You've always wanted me."

"Yeah," he moaned.

"Say it," she said firmly.

"I want you," he murmured.

"You always will," she smirked. "I'm the one person you can't have and it kills you."

"Well I did what you asked," he replied, flipping them over quickly. "I fucked Claire…and now I get to fuck you too."

Without waiting for a witty comeback, Sawyer pushed himself into her quickly. She screamed in ecstasy and wrapped her legs around him to pull him into her deeper. He smiled down at her and then started sucking and licking her neck. Sawyer's ear was near to Kate's chest and he could hear her heart pounding. He matched the beats of her heart to his thrusts. He knew that the sex he had with Claire had been sweet and soft, and nothing like this, but the satisfaction that he won was more than enough for Sawyer. Now that he and Kate were having sex, he knew that she would want more. She would never stay away now.

**A/N: Lizi, the next chapter will have some Jate in it, I promise! Pretty pretty pretty please review!!**


	6. Chapter 6

Sawyer was still inside of her. She moaned softly and licked her lips. They both came and Sawyer rolled off of her, but pulled her closer and started kissing her again, this time gently. She kissed him back, but then quickly backed away and rolled out of the bed. She was still wearing her nightgown, and pulled it back down.

"Where you going?" he asked softly.

"Thanks," she whispered. "I don't cuddle. Goodnight."

"Don't think so Freckles," he said. He took her by the hand and pulled her back into bed. She struggled against him, but he was stronger, and he pinned her down.

"What the hell are you doing?" she asked. "Get off of me."

"Make me," he smirked. "I'm in you now. You're gonna be addicted. You already are thinking about the next time you'll be fucking me. You know that I know all sorts of tricks to make you come. You're gonna want me late at night-"

"Well if that's true it's a good thing you live right down the hall," she smirked. "Now let me go!"

* * *

The next morning Sawyer woke up and felt someone running their hands down his chest. He smirked to himself figuring it was Kate.

"I knew you couldn't stay away," he said and opened his eyes.

"Why would I stay away?" Claire asked.

"Hey baby," he smiled and leaned toward her to kiss her. She smiled too and then stood back up.

"Get up," she said. "We're going out today."

"Where?" he asked. "And why? Wouldn't you rather stay the day in bed with each other."

"Well that's sweet, but no," she chuckled. "Come on…we're gonna go on a picnic at the park."

"Oh really?" he asked. "And what makes you think that I want to go on a picnic?"

"I don't really care whether you want to go or not," she answered. "We've spent way too much time in this bedroom making out…we're going. Come on. Get dressed."

"I can't wear this to our picnic?" he asked.

"Your boxers?" she scoffed. "No. Come on!"

"Fine," he sighed.

Sawyer and Claire left the house together and walked to the park with a picnic basket. She held his hand and smiled as they walked.

* * *

Kate woke up and remembered what had happened the night before. Sawyer definitely knew what he was doing. She thought about what he had said about her wanting him late at night. Sawyer was wrong about one thing…it didn't have to be late at night. She got out of bed and walked to Sawyer's room. She chuckled softly to herself and opened the door. The bedroom was empty, which disappointed her somewhat. She went around the house trying to find him, but then realized he was gone.

She shrugged and figured that she could just catch him later. In the meantime, even though she had lost the bet, she could still have fun with Jack. She walked over to the Shephard's house and knocked on the door. Jack answered and she stepped forward and kissed him. He kissed her back, but then moved away from her. She looked at him slightly confused and then stepped toward him again. She jumped into his arms and nearly knocked him down.

"Kate," he whispered. "What are you doing?"

"I'm kissing you," she replied, kissing him again. She jumped down and placed her feet on the floor, but continued to kiss him. She guided him further into the house and they fell against the couch. Jack stopped them and pushed her away.

"Kate," he started. "I like you. And believe me I love kissing you-"

"I had to hear last night as Sawyer and your sister had sex," she said. "I could hear them moaning."

"Stop," he sighed. "I don't want to hear about that."

"Do you think that I wanted to hear it?" Kate asked. "Because I didn't.

"You're jealous aren't you?" he half chuckled.

"What do you mean?" she scoffed. "No I'm not."

"Yeah you are," he nodded. "You're jealous of Sawyer and Claire."

"I can have anyone I want, any time I want them," she answered. "Including Sawyer."

"Well, I guess that's good to know," he smiled. "But that isn't what I was talking about anyway. I meant you're jealous of what they have. Sawyer and Claire are in love…you want to be in love."

"Jack," she shook her head. "I already am in love. With you."

She was lying through her teeth, but she was hoping that it would be enough to make him give in. He looked at her and breathed out.

"No you're not," he replied. "Kate it's been 3 weeks."

"Exactly," she nodded. "That's how long it took for Sawyer and Claire to fall in love. Jack look...I'm not asking you to love me back. I just know that I really-I care about you and us."

"Well I care about you too Kate," he answered. She looked at him and leaned toward him. They kissed softly and this time Jack didn't stop her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. Then he stood up and picked her up. He carried her into his bedroom and laid her down. He laid down next to her. She smiled at him and they continued to kiss. Kate reached her hands up his shirt and pushed it up. He pulled it the rest of the way off and then laid back down next to her. Kate reached her hands to the top of his pants, and he ended up backing away.

"Kate-" he started.

* * *

Claire and Sawyer were sitting on the blanket together. Claire had her head rested against his shoulder. She looked at him and kissed his cheek softly. He ran his hand down her back and smiled at her. She looked at him and then stood up.

"Come on," she said, taking him by the hands.

"Come on where?" he asked.

"My house," she answered. "Jack has class, so we'll have the house to ourselves till my mom gets home."

"I've been meaning to ask you," he began. "Why do you call her mom? I mean she's not your real mom right?"

"She's my real mom," Claire replied, sounding almost offended. "She's been my mom since I was 2...I don't really remember my real mom. I have a couple memories of her but they're all really fuzzy. Now come on. Let's get back to my house before my parents get back."

"Why?" he asked. "You planning on more sex with me?"

"Actually yes," she chuckled.

"Good answer," he replied pulling her closer and kissing her lips softly.

* * *

"W-what's wrong?" Kate asked. "What did I do?"

"Nothing," Jack shook his head. "Of course…I just-Kate I just told you that I care about you. Do you believe me?"

"Yeah," she murmured.

"Ok," he nodded. "Well then please-believe me when I say that I love being with you. I just don't think that I need to have sex with you right this second to prove that."

"Well when?" she asked.

"Why are you so eager?" he whispered. "I mean we have plenty of time to have sex Kate."

"Ok," she sighed and nodded. "I'm gonna go home."

"Why?" he asked. "Because of this?"

"No," she shook her head. "I just have to get out of here before I make even more of an ass of myself."

Before Jack could protest again she quickly left the room. She went out the front door and as she walked down the front walk Sawyer and Claire were coming up it. Claire had Sawyer's hand in hers. Kate closed her eyes, not in the mood to have some sort of banter with Sawyer.

"Kate," he started. "You ok?"

"I'm fine," she sighed. "You gonna be home tonight?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Remember what we talked about last night?" she asked.

"Um-" he started.

"Well you were right Sawyer," she replied. He smirked a her and shook his head.

"I'll probably be home in a little while," he answered.

Kate walked away and Sawyer and Claire went into the house. Claire practically dragged him down the hall to her room. When they got there Sawyer almost felt guilty. Guilty for just letting Kate walk away since she was obviously upset, and also guilty for sleeping with Claire, when he knew that night he would also be sleeping with Kate.

He knew it was wrong, but he didn't care. He cared about Claire, but he desired Kate. He didn't really love either of them. The more time he spent with Claire the more he cared about her, and he was beginning to love her, but he would never let himself.

"Sawyer?" she asked. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," he whispered and nodded. "I'm fine. I just-you know what, I can't do this right now."

"What are you talking about?" she chuckled and lifted herself up on her toes to kiss him. "Are you being shy? Jack's not home I already told you."

"Then why did Kate just leave here?" he asked. Claire chuckled again and started toward the door.

"I'll be right back," she told him. "Don't move."

He sat down on the bed and Claire left the bedroom. She went down the hall to Jack's room. His door was opened a crack, but she could see in and see that he was laying on his bed. She opened the door the rest of the way and stepped in with her arms crossed over her chest.

"What?" he asked.

"Why aren't you in class?" she questioned.

"Kate came over here" he sighed. "Claire I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I mean I really care about Kate. But she really seemed pretty upset when she left here. All because I want to take it slow. She should be glad that I'm not like every other guy who wants to just have sex."

"Well," she nodded. "But maybe she thinks that she's not good enough for you. I mean maybe because you told her you were waiting till marriage-maybe it intimidates her. I'm sure that she's just as confused as you. Go talk to her."

"You're right as usual Claire," he chuckled and kissed her on the cheek. "Thanks."

"No problem."

"Are you just trying to get rid of me so you and Sawyer can have sex?" he asked.

"Well that was kind of the idea," she chuckled. "What can I say, you know me too well big brother."

"Well you just told me way too much information little sis," he answered and left the room before she did. She went back across the hall to her room. Sawyer was sitting on the bed waiting for her. She straddled his legs and kissed him.

* * *

Kate heard the knock on the door and sighed to herself. She opened the door, and was half shocked to see Jack, but part of her knew that he would eventually come over anyway.

"I changed my mind," he said softly.

"About what?" she inquired.

"Everything," he answered and wrapped his arms around her. She kissed him and lead him into the house. They blindly made their way up the steps. They groped at each other and kissed, and tore at each other's clothing.

"I want you Kate," Jack said into her ear. "I want you."

"I want you too," she whispered.

He pulled her pants off and looked down at her. She took a sharp breath in and pulled him toward her. He pushed into her and they both moaned and began breathing harder. Kate closed her eyes and moved with him. She flipped them over so she was on top and showed him more of what to do. She took his hands in hers and put one between them and one against her breast. He came quickly, before Kate did, and she smiled down at him.

"Sorry," he said, turning pink.

"Shh," she shook her head and rolled off of him. She took his hand and brought one of his fingers to her entrance. She pushed one of his fingers, and one of hers into herself and moaned loudly. He looked at her somewhat in awe as she pleasured herself. She came and then sighed to herself. She rolled toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

* * *

Claire lifted her shirt up over her head and then unhooked her bra and tossed it on the floor. Sawyer chuckled softly and pulled her closer to kiss her. She let their lips almost touch and then backed away and stood up.

"What are you doin' to me Blondie?" he whispered. She let out a soft giggle and lifted his shirt over his head. She stood up on the bed and took her pants off, giving him a little dance at the same time. He laughed at her and then knocked her down so that she would land on top of him. She laughed too and continued to kiss him. They both heard the front door open, and Claire quickly got off of him.

"Shit," she whispered. "Sawyer-I don't-"

He looked at her with a slight smile and handed her the clothes. She ran into her bathroom and started getting dressed. Sawyer put his shirt back on and sighed softly to himself. There was a knock on the door which somewhat startled Sawyer.

"Claire?" Mrs. Shephard said. "Claire?"

"Um-" Sawyer started. He got up and went to the door. "She's in the bathroom."

"I actually need to talk to you too," she stated.

"Ok," he began, slightly nervous.

"My daughter really likes you," she continued. "She really really likes you. She'd probably kill me if I was telling you this, but-I just wanted to let you know, that if you make my daughter cry…then I'll make _you_ cry. I'm not afraid to stand up for my daughter's honor. I'm serious. Don't try-"

"I won't hurt her Mrs. Shephard," he replied. "I love her."

Sawyer hadn't even meant to say it. He took a deep breath, and realized that it was starting to be true. He looked at Margo and she nodded.

"Good," she said. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Nah," he shrugged. "I gotta get home."

Claire came out of the bathroom and looked at Sawyer with a smile.

"You're leaving?" she asked. "Well, can I come over?"

"Claire!" Margo exclaimed. "You don't just invite yourself over to someone's house."

"It's all good," he smirked. "If you want to…but remember I'm pretty sure your best friend Kate is there."

"Well if we're going to be together Sawyer, I think I'm gonna have to get used to her."

"I suppose you're right," he nodded. "Alright…let's go."

Sawyer and Claire went up to his room. Kate's door was wide open. He thought maybe he would discover something he really didn't want to see, but instead when they passed the room, Jack and Kate were laying in bed in each other's arms, but not having sex. He hurried Claire into his room. Claire sat down on the bed and turned bright red.

"Um," she began.

"Awkward?" he said with a slight smile

"Mood's kinda ruined huh?" she smirked.

"Well hate to break it to you baby, but the mood was ruined when your mom came home," he answered, pushing her hair back off her face..

"That was my brother," she said turning an even deeper shade of red.

"Well it was my sister," he shrugged.

"That's different," she stated. "Step sister…plus she only moved in what 4 years ago? I've lived with Jack my whole life."

"What do you say we stop talking about what we just saw?" he chuckled.

"Ok," she chuckled and nodded.

"Do you want to stay?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she answered with another nod. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a kiss. She smiled at him and chuckled. "Your shirt's inside out."

"Do you think your mom was tipped off?" he asked with a chuckle.

"I don't know," she shrugged. "She's kinda oblivious to that kind of thing."

Sawyer leaned toward her again and kissed her. She laid them down and wrapped her arms and legs around him. They were both moaning softly into the kiss, trying to get a deep enough breath, but not wanting to part their lips. There was a knock on the door, and they both grumbled. Sawyer got up and opened the door.

"Claire we gotta go," Jack said, stepping into the room. "Sorry…but dad's home and he's on a war path."

"Is he drunk?" she asked.

"What do you think?" he sighed.

"I'm sorry," Claire said, looking back at Sawyer. Sawyer shrugged and nodded. Jack and Claire left the house. Sawyer sighed deeply and unzipped his pants. It was the second time today that he had a hard on and couldn't be relieved. He reached his hand into his boxers, and then there was another knock on the door.

"Go away!" he exclaimed. The door creaked open anyway and Kate stepped in wearing nothing but a smile and a pair of underwear. "You're really gonna walk around the house without a shirt or bra on?"

"What?" she asked. "It's not like our parents are ever home anyway."

"Is there something you want? I'm kinda busy," he said.

"Busy doing what?" she asked, looking down at his boxers. "Claire left you all hot and bothered?"

"Well we didn't exactly get the chance-y'know just go away," he sighed. "I'm busy."

He closed his eyes and started jerking off again. He heard the door slam, opened his eyes, and discovered that Kate was still standing in front of him. He looked at her curiously and she walked toward him.

"Need some help with that?" she whispered.

"Weren't you just in your room screwing Jack?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied, climbing on top of him and running her hand down his chest. "But I'm still wet."

"Jesus," he whispered.

"Like I said earlier," she began running her tongue over his jaw and then capturing his lips. "You were right. I want you. I am so wet…feel for yourself."

He let out a moan and flipped them over. He slid his hand up her thigh and into her panties. He pulled her underwear off and pushed two fingers into her quickly. She sighed and moaned softly and scraped her fingernails down his back. She bent her head back and ran her hand down her neck and body. He licked up her body and toward her neck and finally to her lips.

"Sawyer I forgot-" Claire started. "Oh my God."

**A/N: Leave me some love...thanks!!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Thanks to my loyal reviewers. This chap is quite Skatey, but it's not over for Jate or Conmama yet.**

Sawyer quickly rolled off of Kate, and looked at Claire. Claire was stunned and frozen in her spot. Kate slowly brought the covers over her naked body and smirked widely. Claire kept looking like she was going to say something, but no words came out. Finally she turned around and started to leave.

"Shit," Sawyer whispered. "Claire! Claire! Goldilocks!"

He chased after Claire and caught her right before she went down the stairs. She looked at him and pushed him away.

"Don't!" she screamed. "Get off of me!"

"Claire," he began. "Baby…I'm sorry."

He put his hands on her cheeks and she quickly smacked his hand away and pushed him away from her.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled. "You just had your fingers-don't touch me."

"I'm sorry," he repeated. "Baby-"

"Don't call me Baby," she said. "Don't call me sweetheart or Goldilocks. Get the hell away from me. I hope that you have fun with her. You're never going to touch me again. I hate you."

She ran down the steps in tears.

"Claire!" he exclaimed, beginning to go down the steps after her.

"Don't follow me!" she screamed. He heard the front door slam shut and sighed deeply to himself. He walked back to his room, and saw that Kate was still laying in his bed, under the covers. He let out another deep breath and scoffed.

"Can you leave?" Sawyer asked.

"Well chances are, big brother, that Claire is already home telling Jack about what she saw," she smirked, sitting up in bed and letting the covers fall. He sighed and shook his head.

"Get out," he said leaning toward her. Kate smirked and shook her head too.

"Why?" she asked. "You were ready and willing just a few seconds ago."

"Why?" he scoffed. "What do you mean 'why?'. I just-she's never going to forgive me Kate."

"Relax, it was just a bet," she answered, and then let out a chuckle and a breath. "You fell in love with her didn't you. You really love her…you don't love me anymore-"

"You're being ridiculous Kate," he said pulling her out of the bed and keeping the sheet wrapped around her.

"Am I?" she whispered and stepped toward him. She kissed him and he chuckled and pushed her away. She stepped toward him again and reached her hand down into his boxers. She didn't kiss him, but she put her mouth against his neck. She started touching him softly. He groaned loudly and put his hands against her back. He pulled the sheet away from her body. She sat down and forced him on top of her. She ran her hands up his body and then back down into his boxers. He pushed her away only enough to kiss her. He had his hands against her cheeks. She turned her head and started kissing his palm. She still had one hand in his boxers, and the other she moved his hand to her mouth and sucked on his finger. To be exact the finger that he had had in her only a little while before.

"Mmm," Kate moaned. "I can still taste myself on you."

He didn't say anything, mainly because he couldn't. He just groaned and laid down on the bed. She climbed on top of him and took his hand. She had his wrist tightly in her hand, and ran it down her body. She put his hand between her legs and then laid down on top of him.

"Do you want me Sawyer? Do you want me to fuck you?" she whispered into his ear.

He moaned again, but still didn't say anything. She ran her hands up his chest and pulled his boxers off in one motion. She kissed him down his neck and chest and stopped at his hips, then she smiled up at him and came back up his body and went to his lips. She continued to tease him, almost putting her mouth on him 4 times, waiting for him to start begging.

"Freckles," he moaned. "Please."

"Do you want me to suck on you?" she asked.

"Yeah," he breathed. She smiled again and kissed him down his body again. She sat up and got off the bed.

"You told me to leave," she said teasingly, and began to leave. He growled and grabbed her roughly by the arm. He pulled her back into the bed and kissed her lips passionately. They both ravished each other's mouths.

He gently turned her around and laid down on top of her, without entering her. She looked up at him with a giggle. He ran his hand over her face and kissed her softly and slowly. Each time she tried to make the kiss deeper he would pull away and soften it again.

"Are you wet?" he whispered.

"No," she shook her head. He reached down and easily pushed two fingers into her.

"Liar," he said. She chuckled and pushed his hand away.

"Fuck me James," she stated, running her hands down his back. He pushed into her and she reached her hand between them to touch them both. Kate moaned loudly and couldn't seem to catch her breath. Sawyer slowed his pace and then stopped completely.

"Why are you stopping?" she breathed. He ran his hand down her body and then started thrusting again. She flipped them over so she was on top and moaned. Sawyer moaned too and kept his hands against her back. He ran his hand over her breasts and down her stomach. She came, sighed, and laid down on his chest. She caught her breath and rolled off of him, but to Sawyer's surprise she cuddled against him.

"I thought you didn't cuddle," he said with a scratchy voice. "First Jack, now me?"

"Well," she started. "If you want me to leave-"

He shook his head and tightened his arms around her. She sat up slightly so that she could pull the blankets over them.

"You cold?" he asked with a chuckle.

"Yeah," she smirked and put her head against his chest.

"Kate!" Jack's voice yelled through the house. Kate and Sawyer looked at each other. Kate smiled weakly and then leaned forward and kissed his lips. He kissed her back and then put his boxers on and handed her her underwear.

"It's a little too late for clothes now," she whispered. "I want to sleep with you tonight."

"What?" he asked. "We just-"

"Kate!" Jack exclaimed, appearing in the doorway. "What the hell are you doing? What's going on?"

"Jack," she whispered.

"Claire came home in tears," he continued. "Are you guys together?"

"Well we are right now," Kate answered

"I just-can I talk to you alone?" he asked. Kate sighed and stood up, taking a blanket with her. They walked into the hallway and Jack looked at her with a frown.

"What?" she asked.

"Kate," he began. "What we shared today-"

"It was sex," she stated. "What I just did with Sawyer, it was sex."

"Sex really means shit to you doesn't it," Jack scoffed. "You people don't care who you hurt, you just wanted to have sex. You wanted to ruin me and Claire's lives."

"We didn't-" she began.

"The hell you didn't!" he yelled. "Did you ever love me?"

"Are we being honest right now?" she asked with a sigh. "No Jack. I didn't love you. I don't love you. I care about you-"

"You care about yourself!" he yelled, and left the hallway.

Kate sighed softly and went back into Sawyer's room. He smiled somewhat weakly and held his hand out for her to take. She did and sat down on the bed.

"I'm gonna go get dressed," she mumbled.

"Are you upset about Jack?" he asked.

"I never-I didn't want to hurt him," she answered. "I did care about him, I mean I do care about him, but-I dunno. Last night when you told me that I wouldn't be able to stay away…you were right. It's not even only the sex either…you don't treat me like a whore…even though I am."

"You're not a whore," he shook his head.

"Well thanks, but…I know the truth," she sighed. "Sawyer I lost my virginity when I was 14. I had a pregnancy scare at 15, and now…Sawyer I'm 18, and I can't even count how many sexual partners I've had."

"I'm right there with you Freckles," he frowned. "I guess we're both damaged goods."

"That's why we're perfect for each other," she said. "I'm gonna go get dressed."

"You already said that," he smirks. "Somethin' tells me that you would have already left. And I got a question for ya Freckles."

"Ok," she smiled.

"You said that you wanted to sleep with me tonight," he said.

"I do," she nodded.

"Well we just slept together, and if things go well-" he began with a smirk.

"I didn't mean sex," she shook her head. "I meant…I want to sleep in here with you. Sleep in your bed with you."

"Why?" he scoffed. "I just heard you talking to Jack in the hallway and all this is to you is sex. Why would you want to sleep next to me if all it is, is sex? So that you can have me anytime you want? Well it doesn't work that way."

"Why are you getting so mad?" she asked. "Is this more than sex to you? Because I thought that you were falling for Claire."

"I thought you didn't believe me," he answered.

"Honestly I don't know what I believe anymore," she shrugged. "Before Claire and Jack moved in I knew that you had some strange fascination with me. I always thought it was because you thought I was hot, and believe me I'm attracted to you too…you'd be crazy not to be."

"Well thanks," he smirked. "Right back atcha."

"Anyway," she sighed. "And then…well you started spending all this time with Claire. And I was jealous."

"Why?" he asked. "You can have any guy you want."

"Well I wanted you," she mumbled. "I know we started off the bet and I wanted your car, but honestly…I'm kinda glad that I lost."

"Really-" he started.

"Still talking," she replied. "I wanted to fuck you. I still do. I'm gonna fuck you right now in fact…but it's just a tad bit more than fucking, it's becoming more than that dear brother."

"Mind not calling me brother anymore?" he asked, leaning toward her seductively.

"I want you inside of me," she whispered. "I want your tongue and your dick. I want all of you."

"Fuck Freckles," he said, shifting in his seat.

"I'm falling in love with you cowboy," she stated, moving toward him and putting one leg on either side of him. "I'm falling in love with what you do to me. I want your tongue in me."

He leaned toward her and kissed her mouth. He pushed his tongue into her mouth and flipped over so he was on top of her. He continued to kiss her and didn't act like he was moving anywhere. She pushed him up and looked at him.

"That's not exactly what I meant Cowboy."

He smirked at her and made his way down her body. He ran his tongue down her stomach and stopped right above her. Then he came back up to her mouth, using the same teasing technique she had used on him earlier.

"Dammit," she whispered.

"What goes around comes around baby," he said with a chuckle. "But I'm not gonna make you wait as long. Mainly because I want to taste you so bad."

"Sawyer," she moaned, becoming more aroused by the minute. He went back down her body and didn't waste any time. He flicked his tongue against her clit, and then started licking and sucking as hard as he could. She panted and pulled at her own hair. In between her short breaths she managed to say one syllable words.

"Yes," she moaned. "Fuck. Fuck."

She licked her lips and climaxed. Sawyer quickly came back up her body. She pulled him toward her and kissed him hard. She flipped over on top of him and sat him up. Sawyer ran his hand against her bare butt cheeks and pulled her closer. She lowered herself down on him. They were both sitting up and they started moving against each other quickly. Kate lifted herself up and impaled herself once again. Her soft moans in his ear was making Sawyer even harder. He kissed her mouth and continued to explore her body using his hands. He hadn't seen her naked very many times, but he was already beginning to learn every curve of her body.

"I love the way I feel when you're inside me," she whispered bending down and moving up and down.

"I love it too," he moaned. She kissed down his chest and started stroking him quickly. He started moaning again and Kate smirked to herself, and watched him writhe under her.

"Claire," he groaned.

"What?!" she exclaimed and got off of him.

"I'm sorry," he said pulling her back toward him.

"No," she scoffed. "This little fantasy is over."

"Fantasy?" he asked. "Baby this is a reality."

"Not anymore," she shook her head. "You just called me Claire!"

"I know," he sighed. "I didn't mean to-"

"You didn't mean to?" she scoffed.

"Freckles," he said softly, pulling her toward him.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Leave me alone."

Kate left the bedroom and slammed his bedroom door. Then he heard her bedroom door slam too. Sawyer sighed deeply and rolled out of bed. He put his boxers on and went across the hall. He knocked on the door, but didn't get an answer. He knocked again, and opened the door. Kate was getting dressed and looked up at him.

"Go away!"

"I'm sorry ok?" he asked.

"You just called me Claire!" she exclaimed.

"Freckles," he sighed. "You are nothing like Claire. I don't know why I said her name. Maybe because I've been spending so much time with her. Please...forgive me Kate.

"Fine," she sighed. "But I'm gonna ask you to stay away from me."

"That's gonna be kinda hard to do Freckles," he whispered. He stepped toward her and ran his hand up her arm. "I live right across the hall."

"Why don't you do us both a favor and go try apologizing to Claire again. You obviously would rather be having sex with her anyway," she scoffed. "Now leave me alone."

That night Sawyer was laying in bed by himself. He had tried to call Claire a couple times, but she refused to come to the phone. He heard a knock at his door and smirked to himself. He opened the door and his dad was standing in front of him. Across the hall he could see Kate leading her mom into her room.

"Can I talk to you James?"

Sawyer stepped out of the way and let his dad into his room. His dad sat down on the bed next to him and sighed deeply.

"What's wrong?" Sawyer asked.

"Your mom and I-" his dad began.

"My mom is dead," Sawyer interrupted.

"OK…sorry. Diane and I have decided to send you and Kate on a vacation," he continued.

"What?" he asked. "A vacation? That's it?"

"We're sending you to Australia for the summer."

"Why?" Sawyer asked.

"Because Diane is sick," he answered. "She has cancer."

"What?!" Sawyer exclaimed. "How can you send us away then? How can you do that to Kate?"

"Because Diane doesn't want Kate to watch her go through all that," he continued. "Look, I want you to take care of her ok? I know that you two have your differences and you pretty much hate each other, but please…just take care of Kate…for Diane's sake."

"Well is she gonna get better?" Sawyer asked. "I mean we're just going away for the summer while Diane goes through the chemo right? And then when we get back she'll be fine."

"Son, I know this is hard," he sighed. "But the prognosis isn't good. They're giving her 2 to 3 months."

"Well then we're not going," Sawyer argued.

"Yes you are," he replied. "Me and Diane…we want this time to ourselves. This time to be together. Without any kids in the way."

"Well if you don't want your kids in the way you shouldn't have had them!"

Sawyer's dad sighed again and stood up. He left the room and Sawyer laid back in bed. He would be going into Kate's room in 5 minutes to see if she was ok.

Kate listened to what her mom was saying and she felt as if she went deaf. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Her mom was going to die, and she wouldn't even be there to say goodbye. Kate was crying, and Diane tried her best to comfort Kate, but she didn't want it. She pushed Diane away and so Diane left her room and went down the stairs. Kate sighed to herself and wiped her tears. She got up out of bed and went across the hall to Sawyer's room. Sawyer was heading out of his room at the same time. She stepped toward him with a frown and wrapped her arms around him. He sighed deeply and hugged her back.

"You ok?" he whispered. She shook her head, and they headed into his room. He shut the door and she stood where she was with her hand intertwined with his. He lead her over to the bed and sat down. Part of him was expecting Kate to want to take comfort in him, and have hot sex, but instead she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Sawyer," she sniffled.

"Shh," he said rubbing her back softly. "Freckles, cry as hard as you want."

"I don't want to leave," she sobbed. "I don't want to fucking leave and she's making me. She doesn't even want me to be here. She told me that she would say goodbye to me at the airport, tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" he asked. "I didn't even let my dad get that far."

"I'm so pissed, I just want to hit something!" she exclaimed.

"Call me the human punching bag," he said backing away from her and opening his arms. Instead of hitting him, she rested her head against him again. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. She laid down and he followed her. He put his arms around her and she pressed her face against his chest.

"What do you want me to do Freckles?" he asked, sliding his hand down her back.

"Just hold me," she whispered. "Keep me safe."

He kissed her on the forehead and tightened his arms around her.

**A/N:PLLLEAAASEEE Review!! It's going to turn more Losty now instead of AU Cruel Intentions. I hope you all still like it!**


	8. Chapter 8

**2 Months Later**

Kate and Sawyer spent the 2 months in Australia together. Neither one of them was very interested in spending much time out side of the hotel. They slept with each other every night, usually just sleeping, but sometimes having sex. Sawyer could tell that Kate wanted the 2 months to be over with so she could get back home. They called home every day to get the newest update on her mom.

It was the night before they were going back home. Kate was packing her suitcase, when Sawyer came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her.

"Whatcha doing?" he asked.

"What's it look like?" she chuckled, turning back toward him. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her toward him. He pushed the straps of her nightgown off her shoulders.

"What are you doing?" she said with a smirk.

"What's it look like?" he asked, stepping toward her and embracing her. She kissed him and sighed softly.

"I love you James," she whispered. He let her go and looked at her.

"What?" he asked.

"I'm-" she began. "I know it's crazy. And I know we're supposed to just like each other for the hot sex, but-Sawyer, I love you. I love the way you've been taking care of me these past couple months. I love how you always start the sex, but you let me finish it. I love you."

"Y'know something," he whispered. I kinda love you too."

"How romantic," she chuckled. "'I kinda love you too?' Do you kinda love me or do you love me?"

"Kate," he sighed softly. "I love you."

She smiled at him and kissed his lips. He guided her to the bed and laid down on top of her. She lifted her nightgown up over her hips, but didn't touch her underwear. He put his hand against her underwear, but only rubbed his hand against her from the outside. She moaned softly and allowed him to continue to touch her that way.

"I want to move in with you," she sighed. "I want us to move out of our parents house."

"Why?" he asked, stopping what he was doing.

"Well," she replied, flipping them over. "If we lived alone we could do it anywhere we wanted. We could just fuck all day and fuck all night."

"We can do that anyway since our parents are never around," he replied.

"Well at least for one more night we can," she whispered.

She rolled them back over so he was on top. She kissed his lips and he continued what he started earlier. He stimulated her without direct contact. She started moaning for him to touch her skin, but he only continued to tease her. She quickly pulled her underwear down and wrapped her legs around him. He slid into her and they both moaned. He quickened his pace until they both came. He stayed on top of her and brushed his hand across her forehead and cheeks. She looked at him with soft eyes and a slight smile.

"So what do you think?" she asked.

"About what?" he chuckled.

"Moving out?" she replied. "I mean…I'm not going to college, but I want to move out. Will you at least think about it?"

"Sure," he nodded. "As long as they pay for it."

She chuckled and rolled them over. He pulled out of her, while she leaned toward him and snuggled against him.

The next morning Kate was laying against Sawyer's naked chest. She sighed in contentment and looked at the clock. It was almost 10:00. Their plane took off at 11:30.

"Sawyer!" she gasped.

Kate and Sawyer rushed to get to the airport and through security in time. They ran to the gate and when they got there they saw something that neither of them expected. Claire and Jack were standing in line waiting to board the plane. Kate looked at Sawyer and let out a soft chuckle.

"Perfect," she sighed. Claire and Jack both turned around and they were standing face to face.

"What are you two doing here?" Jack asked.

"Honeymoon," Sawyer answered, sarcastically. Claire scoffed and turned back around.

"What are you doing here?" Kate asked.

"Our parents sent us so that Claire could see where she was born…and visit her mom's grave."

"Our parents sent us so that my mom could die without me there," Kate frowned.

"Oh Kate," Jack whispered. "Are you ok?"

"Fine," she shrugged. "I guess."

"Claire," Jack said. "I think-"

"I know," she interrupted. "Sawyer, we need to talk."

She walked with Sawyer over to the side, away from everyone.

"I'm pregnant," she stated.

"What?!" he exclaimed.

"Shh!" she scolded. "Look…I didn't plan this anymore than you did."

"But I used condoms," he argued.

"Well you know what they say," she began. "The only 100 percent prevention is abstinence."

"You're pregnant?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"What do you want me to do?" he questioned.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I can do this by myself. I don't want anything from you."

"Then why the hell are you telling me?" he asked.

"Well Sawyer in case you forgot, our parents live next to each other," she answered. "I just thought that you should know. I mean what if you saw me walking with a stroller in 7 more months. Wouldn't you wonder-anyway I just thought you should know…and now you do. So I don't want anything else.

"Ok," he nodded. "Well what are you gonna do?"

"I'm taking a year off from college to be home with my baby," she answered. "And then eventually I'll go to college."

Once they were on the plane Sawyer noticed that Jack and Claire were a couple rows in front of them. He told Kate about what Claire told him.

"So what are you gonna do?" Kate asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "It didn't really seem like she wanted my help with anything."

"She was lying," she answered. "Look, I know that I don't really know Claire all that well, but if you honestly believe that Claire doesn't want you to help her, then you're out of your mind. Of course she wants your help Sawyer. Nothing would make her happier than if you walked over to her right now and told her you wanted to make things work. So go…go on."

"I don't want to make things work with her Kate," he shook his head. "And maybe that makes me scum. Maybe it makes me a horrible person. But I love you Kate I want to be with you. Not Claire. I'm staying here with you Kate."

The airplane shook slightly and Kate gasped.

"Don't worry," Sawyer said taking her by the hand. "I'm gonna keep you safe."

The plane shook again and Kate closed her eyes till the turbulence subsided. Then she stood up and smirked at him.

"Meet me in the bathrooms in 1 minute," she whispered.

"Naughty girl Freckles," he smirked.

She walked down the aisle to the bathrooms and went into one of them, hoping that Sawyer would find her. It wasn't a minute later that there was a small tap on the door. She opened the door and Sawyer was standing in front of her. She smiled widely and pulled him into the bathroom. She chuckled and he lifted her on to the sink. She chuckled again when her butt hit the sink and turned it on.

"I don't know if this is gonna work," she said softly

"Sure it will," he replied, lifting her skirt over her hips. "I've done it before."

"Really?" she asked.

"I'm gonna fuck you," he whispered. "Are you wet yet?"

"Very," she sighed back. He pulled her toward him and unzipped his pants. He pushed into her. As they moved together they both moaned. They muffled their moans by pressing their lips to each others. There was a knock at the door.

"The pilot has switched on the fasten your seatbelt sign," the flight attendant stated. Neither of them noticed the heavy turbulence because of their own rocking. Kate came quietly and then Sawyer did. They both chuckled and Kate pulled her underwear back on. They made their way together back to their seats. Kate had barely gotten her seatbelt buckled when she heard the back of the plane rip off. She heard screaming. Sawyer grabbed hold of her hand, but as the plane crashed into the ground their hands were ripped from each other.

Kate opened her eyes and realized she was laying in a puddle of fuel. She got up as quickly as she could and moved away from the fire and fumes. She coughed and saw Sawyer laying on the ground unconscious.

**A/N: OK…so I know that this chapter was short, but I felt like that was a good stopping point.  
****Dramafreak-yeah that was my plan all along to have the plane crash. I wanted to do a fic where the plane crashed, but there was an AU back story. Thanks for the review!  
****Lizi-Thanks for always reviewing my stories! I really really appreciate it. It's going to probably stay pretty Skatey, but Jate and Conmama are still not over. I hope you liked it!**


	9. Chapter 9

Kate moved over to Sawyer and dropped to her knees. She felt for a pulse, but wasn't sure exactly what she was supposed to feel for. She could see his chest rising slowly, but she didn't know what to do to wake him up, so she started shaking him.

"Sawyer!" she screamed. "Sawyer. Wake up. Wake up! Sawyer! Please wake up. Please Sawyer. Sawyer."

"Damn Freckles," he mumbled. "I'm right here, you ain't gotta yell."

"Oh, thank God," she sighed and wrapped her arms around him.

"Easy," he moaned. "I'm pretty sure I was just thrown out of a plane."

She chuckled softly and sniffled. She helped Sawyer sit up, and scanned the beach. She saw a pretty blonde screaming at the top of her lungs. Part of her wanted to go over to her and knock her unconscious. She saw a black woman lying unconscious on the beach, her chest wasn't rising up and down, so she was pretty sure she was either dead, or near dead. A man near her was looking around just as curiously, but then he sat up and stood up, almost as if he was in awe at himself walking. She saw Claire clutching her stomach and screaming. She quickly walked over to her.

"Claire," she said, touching her shoulder.

"Kate, the baby," she sobbed. "Please go away."

"I'm not gonna leave you Claire," Kate said soothingly. "Let's get you up the beach."

"Kate, I'm pregnant," she said.

"I know," Kate nodded. "Come on."

"What if I lose-"

"Stop," she shook her head. "Let's go."

Kate helped Claire up the beach and away from the fumes of the airplane. Sawyer was sitting in the sand and got up quickly when he saw Kate bringing Claire up to him.

"Is she alright?" he asked quickly.

"I don't know," Kate whispered. "Claire, where's Jack?"

"I dunno," she half sobbed. "He-he was next to me, but I haven't seen him."

"Look," Sawyer said, pointing down the beach. They all watched as Jack tried helping as many people as he could. He gave the woman laying unconscious mouth to mouth. As soon as the woman started breathing again, Kate ran down the beach toward him.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Kate are you alright?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine Jack…but Claire-"

"Oh my God, is she alright?" he asked quickly.

"She's fine Jack," she said calmly. "She just-I think you should check and make sure everything is ok. I mean-everything. The baby and all."

"Yeah," he mumbled. They went up to where Claire and Sawyer were sitting. They were inches from each other's faces. Kate took a deep breath and continued toward them.

"Jack's here," she said.

"Jack, I dunno," Claire mumbled.

"Come on," he said. "I'm gonna take a look at you."

Kate sat down next to Sawyer and sighed softly.

"I thought you said you weren't going anywhere," she whispered.

"Freckles," he began.

"No…I mean I get it," she replied. "Claire is the mother of your child. You have a connection to her. You love her-"

"Hey," he interrupted. "Kate, I love you. I never even wanted kids."

"So the fact that she's pregnant means nothing?" Kate scoffed. "Sawyer it's ok. I won't be offended or upset."

"Kate, some how-some how in the last 2 months I fell in love with you," he began. "I have never been in love before…and I'm not letting it go that easily."

She leaned against his shoulder and took a deep breath. He put an arm around her shoulder and pulled her closer.

"God," she whispered. "Sawyer, we should be dead."

"We all should be," he mumbled.

"I mean-we should," she began. "It's a miracle."

"Hey," he said, turning toward her. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she sniffled. "But Claire-what if she loses the baby. She's going to be devastated. She's going to need you Sawyer."

"Kate-" he started.

"No, I'm serious," she shook her head. "I'm not-I'm not jealous, but she'll need you. If she makes it to full term she'll need you too. She's gonna need you regardless."

"I'm gonna need you regardless," he stated. "Kate I need you."

"Good," she smiled. Kate looked behind them and saw Jack and Claire coming through the trees. She grabbed on to Sawyer's hand and they both stood up. Kate saw Jack looking at their hands. She didn't let go of Sawyer's hand and instead gave it a firm squeeze.

"Is everything alright?" Sawyer murmured.

"It seems to be ok right now," Jack sighed. "But we'll just have to see."

"Sawyer, can I talk to you?" Claire asked.

"Yeah," he nodded and followed her. Kate let go of his hand as he walked off with Claire. She went back down the beach to help people. She saw an Arabic man gathering some supplies and walked over to him.

"You need some help?" she asked with a warm smile. Sayid nodded and they started gathering supplies and suitcases together.

Claire guided Sawyer into the jungle and sat down on the jungle floor. Sawyer followed her and looked at her.

"What's up?"

"Sawyer," she started. "I love you. I have tried so hard to hate you and to forget all about you. But I can't do it anymore Sawyer. I love you. I'm in love with you. I decided to keep the baby because I love you so much."

"Claire," he said, touching her face softly.

"I know," she nodded. "You love Kate. You want to be with her."

"But I want to be here for you," he whispered. "I know it's probably too little too late, but I want to do anything that I can."

"Kiss me," she requested. He leaned toward her and kissed her softly. He ran his hand down her face toward her neck and deepened the kiss. Then he backed away and stood up.

"I gotta go," he stated. "See you around."

Claire put her hands to her face, and Sawyer didn't look back as he walked back to the beach. He watched Kate pulling her hair away from her neck. She had a damp spot on her back where she was sweating. He saw some Arab handing her a water and smiling a little too sweetly. He walked over to her and put his hand on her back.

"Hey," he whispered. "How you doin'?"

He kissed her deeply and she backed away and chuckled.

"Fine," she answered. "We're starting to build some shelters. Y'know just in case we're here for a while."

That night Kate and Sawyer were sitting by a fire with each other. Kate looked over and saw Jack and Claire watching them. She was leaning against Sawyer, and then sat up.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "All of this…it was all great when they didn't have to watch us. But-"

"I know," he nodded. "It's weird…Kate, I kissed her."

"What?" she asked.

"Earlier today, when she needed to talk to me…I kissed her."

"Why?" she whispered.

"Because she asked me to," he murmured.

"Why did you tell me?" she asked.

"Because I liked it," he sighed. "And I couldn't lie to you."

"I can't do this," she whispered. She stood up and walked down the beach. Sawyer ran his hands through his hair and sighed deeply. Jack had been watching the interaction, and quickly stood up and followed her. She sat down in the sand and Jack sat down next to her.

"Jack, please," she sniffled. "Leave me alone."

"We have to find the cockpit," he stated.

"What?" she asked.

"If we find the cockpit, we might be able to find some sort of transmitter…I heard Sayid talking about it. We gotta get off of this island," he replied.

"I agree," she said. "I saw some smoke…just up through the valley. It could be the cockpit right?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I suppose."

"Well if you're going, then I'm going."

"Sure that's a good idea Kate?" he asked.

"I can take care of myself Jack," she responded.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I know that. I just-"

"Sawyer kissed Claire," she replied.

"So what are you looking for some pay back?" he asked. "Cuz if that's what you came here for-'

"No," she shook her head. "I just-I'm pissed off at him…but I can't hate him…and I know at the end of the night I'll go back to him."

"I love you Kate," he said. "I love you."

"No you don't," she argued. "I'm a mess. I gotta go."

Kate walked to the shelter that she and Sawyer had built together. She saw that Sawyer was already in it laying down. She pulled the flap back and laid down next to him. She sighed deeply, and looked at Sawyer's back. She flipped over to face the side of the tent instead. Sawyer flipped over to and looked at Kate's back. She was moving uncomfortably. He could tell she was hot. She moved her hair off her neck, and Sawyer leaned forward and kissed her neck.

"I'm sorry," he said softly. "I'm sorry Freckles."

"I know," she replied flipping toward him and kissing his lips. She moved closer to him and rubbed her legs against his. He moaned softly and ran his hand down her back.

"You're sweating," he whispered.

"The island is hot," she stated.

"So are you Freckles," he replied.

"Don't kiss Claire again," she said softly.

"I had to leave her alone in the jungle because I couldn't-" he shook his head. "I love you Kate. I ain't sayin' it again."

She flipped over on top of him and unbuttoned his pants and hers. They both moaned softly, although neither of them cared if the entire beach heard them.

"I love you," Sawyer moaned as Kate moved over him. She smirked at him and came. She laid down on his chest and wrapped her arms around him.

"I thought you weren't saying it again?" she whispered.

"Well I lied," he answered.

**A/N: The next chapter will probably be moved ahead quite a bit. Thanks for the continued reviews. HOLY HOLY HOLY CRAP! Just saw the new Promo for season 5! /watch?v2jOGzSsZrjY**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: This chapter is long and it does jump ahead a few times, but I hope it's still good!**

Sawyer woke up and smiled. He rolled over to where Kate was supposed to be. The sand was empty and cold. He felt a piece of paper there instead. He picked it up.

_Went with Jack for the cockpit, be back later._

_XOXO _

_Freckles_

Sawyer sighed to himself and crumpled the piece of paper in his hand. Kate and Jack all alone in the jungle. He knew that bad things were bound to happen. Instead of staying alone all day, he decided to find Claire. He left the tent, and saw people continuing to salvage parts of the wreckage. He saw Claire sitting in the sun, watching everyone. He walked over to her and sat down.

"Hey mamacita," he said.

"Please don't call me that," she sighed. "What are you doing here?"

"Claire, I'm sorry-" he started.

"We've been through this already," she shook her head. "I don't want anything from you."

"What if I want to give you something," he whispered.

"Like what?"

"Something real Claire," he replied. "Look, I know that I was really shitty to you. And I don't deserve your forgiveness…but I want to help you through this. It's gonna be hard to be pregnant on this island."

"I have Jack to help me," she answered.

"Yeah," he nodded. "And when you're dying to induce labor, who's gonna have sex with you."

He smiled widely at her, and she couldn't help but smile back. But then she sniffled and put her hands to her face. Sawyer put his hand against her shoulder and she curled against him.

"Hey," he whispered. "Sweetheart…I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"I'm not," she answered, looking up at him. "I'm not sorry that I'm pregnant either. This baby is going to be my chance to be a better person."

"Well maybe it'll make me a better person too," he said softly.

Kate and Jack made their way into the jungle with Charlie. Jack was walking so fast that Kate and Charlie could barely keep up with him.

"Jack!" she exclaimed. "Would you slow down!"

"No," he answered. "I don't want-we gotta get there before dark."

"Jack," she began.

"Stop!" he exclaimed. "I don't want to hear it."

He kept walking ahead of them, and she sighed and stayed back with Charlie.

"I'm sensing some friction between the two of you," Charlie said with a weak smile.

"Y'think?" she chuckled. "Yeah…well me and Jack…we kinda have…well a colorful past."

When they arrived at the cockpit things became much less tense between Jack and Kate, and more about running for their lives. When they got back to the beach Kate walked over to the tent. She was sure that Sawyer would still be sleeping inside, but he wasn't. She looked up the beach for him, and saw him sitting with Claire.

"Hey," Kate said smiling at them. "How are you feeling Claire?"

"I'm just hoping we get rescued before I give birth," she shrugged.

"Oh we will," Kate answered. "I'm sure of it."

**2 Months Later**

Sawyer hadn't gone with the rescue raft, because Kate wouldn't let him, and because he opted to go into the jungle with Kate and Jack. Jack had gotten over some of his jealousy issues but not all of them. Kate and Sawyer had become closer than ever, which sort of pissed Jack off to a certain extent. Sawyer had spent some time with Claire, but not very much.

Kate made her way through the trees. The man holding on to her arm, wasn't holding on to her very tightly. She looked at Sawyer and almost broke down in tears right then and there. She had been so scared that they had killed him. He wasn't paying attention, but then he noticed movement behind him and spun around quickly.

"Freckles!" he exclaimed. She stayed quiet until Tom left them alone. Then she fell to her knees and looked at him. "You ok?"

"Yeah," she whispered and nodded. "You?"

"Just peachy."

"I wish I could touch you," she said softly.

"Hmm, I wish I could touch you too baby," he smiled.

"That's not what I meant," she chuckled.

"I know," he nodded. "But I made you smile. It's gonna be fine Kate. We're gonna get out of here."

"You really believe that?" she asked.

"I have to," he said.

As Kate watched Sawyer get beat for 2 days straight, she felt like she couldn't take it anymore. When Juliet took her to Jack, to ask him to save Ben, she jumped at the chance. She couldn't let those bastards kill Sawyer.

"What are you doing here!" Jack exclaimed.

"They're gonna kill Sawyer!" she sobbed. "Jack, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I love him, but I do. You have to save him. They said if you do it they'd let us go."

"And you believe it?" he asked.

"I have to," she echoed Sawyer's words.

Kate felt defeated when she got back to her cage. She felt bad that she had asked Jack to save Sawyer, because it was just a reminder of how much she loved Sawyer. She and Jack had mended their relationship for the most part, but she was afraid that it was all ruined now. There was something Sawyer wasn't telling her and it was pissing her off. She climbed out of her cage and broke into his.

"Because I wanted you to believe that we had a damn chance," he whispered. She let out a soft sob, and then jumped into his arms and kissed him deeply. Neither of them backed away first, neither of them came up for a breath. Kate moaned softly and put her mouth against his ear. She licked his earlobe and then wrapped her arms around him tighter.

"Fuck me James," she whispered into his ear. "Make all this disappear and fuck me."

"Not yet baby," he moaned, and placed her on the cement slab. He kissed her and lifted her shirt up over her head. He admired her body underneath him, and pulled her pants off quickly. He looked over at the bucket of water that was still sitting in his cage. He got off of her and went over to the bucket.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I'm gonna get as much of the dirt off my fingers as I can so that I can put them in you," he said. She moaned to herself and ran her hands up her body. Sawyer washed his hands as quickly and vigorously as he could. He climbed back on to Kate and licked up her neck and to her lips. Sawyer pulled her underwear down and she gasped softly.

"What?" he asked.

"The cement is cold," she whispered.

"Sorry," he chuckled. He ran his hand down her leg and pushed two fingers into her. She moaned loudly. He loved every inch of her body and then they were still, in each others arms.

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he said, running his hand down her back.

**4 Days Later**

Kate refused to leave Jack on the island. It pissed Sawyer off, but he let her go. She had said goodbye to him and gave him a kiss goodbye. He stayed on the beach with Claire, who was now 4 months pregnant and only had a small bump on her belly.

Kate had only been gone for an hour and he was already bored. He walked toward Claire who looked exhausted.

"Anything I can do? Need a neck massage or something?" he asked with a smile.

"And what would Kate think of that," she sighed. "Sawyer you really haven't been too interested in me, but now that Kate's gone-"

"That's not what I was-" he started. "I'm sorry that I really haven't been here for you, or the baby. I just-I don't know what to do. Kate says she loves me, but she can't seem to stay in one spot before running back off for someone else.

"You mean Jack," she said softly.

"Yeah, well," he sighed. "She-Jack was the first guy who didn't make her feel like a whore."

"But you're the first person who actually got to know the real Kate," Claire answered. "I mean-I know that Jack thinks that he knows Kate…but he doesn't. Not like you do. I mean he pretty much just met her. He's getting to know her again."

"I miss you," he whispered.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I just mean I miss you," he said. "You-you always…you always make me feel better."

"Kate's gonna be back soon," she replied.

"How do you know?" he asked.

"Because I do," she shrugged.

Kate was sitting in the rec room at the other's village. She was waiting for some kind of information. Jack had basically given her up. He had told her to tell the other's who else was with her. She was hoping that he was just trying to trick them. She was sitting on the pool table feeling very alone. She saw the door opening and Jack walked toward her.

"Jack," she whispered. "What did they do to you?"

"Nothing Kate," he shook his head. "I know the past couple months that we've spent here, I haven't exactly let you go, but I saw you and Sawyer together. I asked you not to come back for me, and now I'm really wishing you had listened."

"Why?" she asked, with tears coming into her eyes.

"Because I don't want to have to say goodbye."

"What are you talking about?" she said, looking at the ceiling and blinking her tears away.

"They're letting me go home," he answered.

"What?" she asked.

"I'm going home," he whispered. "But I'll come back for you."

He stepped toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She lifted her arms over his head, making it somewhat difficult since she still had the handcuffs on. She kissed his lips and he felt her tears dampening both of their cheeks.

"Shh," he said wiping her tears away. "Don't cry. Everything's going to be alright. Go back to the beach. Go back to Sawyer. We both know it's what you need."

She nodded slowly and sniffled. Jack walked away from her and she sat back down.

That night Sawyer brought Claire a pile of blankets to her. She smiled at him and patted the ground next to her. He sat down and they ended up spending the night talking in her tent.. Sawyer gave her a peck on the cheek and then stood up to leave, but she held on to his hand and pulled him back down. He looked at her and sighed softly.

"I gotta go," he whispered.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because if I don't, then we're both going to do something we regret."

"Like what?" she questioned. "Would you fuck me Sawyer?"

"Claire-" he started.

"Would you slide into me and make me come?" she whispered, scooting closer to him and putting her hand on his thigh. "Are you hard? Do you want to take comfort in me?"

"Claire what the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"Well hopefully I'm making you hard, so you can fuck my brains out and make me scream your name."

"Why are you doing this?" he whispered, starting to leave.

"Because Sawyer," she answered, taking his hand and pulling him down again. "I am so incredibly horny…you have no idea. I haven't had sex in 4 months. Since-well…and I'm wet."

"Claire this isn't like you," he shook his head. "All this dirty talk."

"Why?" she asked. "You don't like it. Because by evidence Mr. Ford, you're thoroughly enjoying it."

She glanced down at his pants, and she was right, that he was beginning to become very aroused.

"Please," she whispered. "Fuck me…make love to me. I don't care. Just ease-"

"You have fingers," he replied, standing up. "I can't do that to Kate."

"You really are a changed man," she sighed. "You did it to me. You fucked Kate the same day you knocked me up!"

"Claire-" he began. She took his hand and pushed it into the top of her pants.

"Fuck me Sawyer," she whispered. "You can even call me Kate if it makes you feel any better. And by the way, may I remind you where Kate is? She's with my brother…who is completely in love with her. And he can make her want him badly enough…he's probably screwing her right now."

He kissed her softly and shut the tent flap. He carefully peeled off her clothes and took his own clothes off. They took comfort in each other. Both of them were quiet as Sawyer entered her. As he moved against her he felt guilty because it wasn't Kate. He knew if she ever found out she would never forgive him.

"Wait," Claire moaned. "You can't come in me."

"What?" he asked coming back to reality.

"You can't-" she whispered. "Please, don't come."

He rolled off of her and sighed to himself.

The next day Kate, Jack, Sayid, and Juliet made their way back to the beach. She was exhausted and just wanted to crawl into bed. Hopefully with Sawyer. As they got back to the beach she noticed that Sawyer was looking for her. Instead of hugging everyone who she had just seen 5 days ago, she ran toward Sawyer and flung her arms around him. He hugged her back, but she knew instantly that something was wrong.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine," he nodded.

He brought her over to their tent and gave her a spot to lay down. He pulled her into an embrace and started twirling her hair around his fingers.

"I'm glad you're home," he whispered.

"Me too," she nodded and snuggled further into him. "You smell different."

"What do you mean?" he chuckled.

"You just do," she answered. "You don't smell like us."

"Well I took a bath today in the ocean," he replied. "It's probably the salt water."

"Yeah," she whispered. "Probably. Were you naked."

"What?!" he asked almost defensively.

"In the ocean," she said calmly. "I mean when you took your bath. I'm trying to be romantic and seduce you James."

"Kate you can hardly keep your eyes opened," he chuckled. "Go to sleep. It'll do you some good."

"Well then will you fuck me tonight, will you make love to me?" she asked. "It's been 5 very long days."

Sawyer was feeling more guilty by the second. He nodded and kissed her on the forehead. After she fell asleep he carefully got up and went to Claire's tent. She was sitting with her feet up and her hands on her belly. He sighed deeply and closed his eyes.

"Claire," he began.

"I know, they're back," she nodded. "Sawyer I understand. It's her you want. It's her you love."

"I do," he replied. "Claire we made a huge mistake last night. I shouldn't have-I never should have stayed. I-"

"She already knows that we have slept together," she answered. "And besides that, serves her right for making me fall in love with you, and then steeling you from under me. I'm just taking back what was already mine."

"Claire I was never yours," he scoffed.

"Thanks a lot," she scoffed back.

"Claire," he said kneeling in front of her. "Like I said before. I'll do whatever you want, to help you with the baby…but I was kidding when I said I'd have sex with you to induce labor. Claire I don't want to jeopardize anything that I might be able to have with Kate. If she finds out that we had sex last night-she'll never forgive me."

"Well that's for damn sure asshole!" Kate exclaimed. Neither Claire or Sawyer had noticed her standing in the doorway…and she was gone before Sawyer could say a word.

**A/N: Ok…so bear with me. I want to let the Jaters know (which at this point I think is just Lizi), but it's going to be Jatey for 2 more chapters, and then probably no more Jate or Conmama. For those of you who didn't see the season 5 promo yet,the link won't work, so just go to youtube and type in Lost season 5 promo. It's going to be sooo good.**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: OK Bob, this one is for you.**

Kate ran down the beach and Sawyer quickly followed her.

"Kate!" he exclaimed. "Kate slow down!"

She quickly spun around and let out a shrill, frustrated scream. She shoved him hard and shook her head.

"You said you loved me," she screamed.

"Come on Kate," he scoffed. "I do-"

"No you don't!" she exclaimed and shoved him again. This time she used so much force that she knocked him down, and fell on top of him. She tried to scramble off of him, but he was quicker, and flipped them over and pinned her down.

"Just listen to me," he sighed.

"You fucked her right?" she asked. "You fucked her while I was gone for 4 days. You fucked her? Did it feel good Sawyer? Did you feel good about yourself, coming in her."

"I didn't come in her," he argued.

"Oh you didn't come in her, what a fucking prince," she scoffed. "Get off of me."

"No," he whispered and slid his hand down her stomach and leg. "I only fucked her because I knew you were fucking Jack."

"I didn't fuck Jack!" she yelled, perhaps a little too loud.

"I know," he whispered. "But Claire…she was saying these things. Kate I missed you. And I didn't get to come last night."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "Just because you didn't come inside her-"

"I didn't come," he replied. "I want to come. And I want to fill you up."

She moaned softly as he moved against her. She reached her hands down into his jeans and started stroking him softly. He smirked down at her, and she brought her knee up quickly to his crotch and pushed him off of her.

"I hope you really enjoyed it the last time that I let you touch me, because you'll never touch me again you bastard," she said. She stood up and left him writhing in pain. She walked up the beach and sat by herself. Sawyer sighed to himself and went over to his own tent. He crawled inside and laid down on the bed that he had shared with Kate. He couldn't go to sleep, and then he felt someone coming into the tent.

"Kate?" he asked, sitting up slightly.

"It's me," Claire said. "You ok?"

"Fine," he mumbled. "Claire I can't do this with you."

"I don't want to sleep alone anymore," she whispered. "I'm scared. That thing in the jungle-"

"Come on," he sighed. He patted the sand next to him and she laid down. They started out next to each other but not touching. They both fell asleep quickly, and in the night they found each others cold bodies. Sawyer woke up with his arms around Claire. She flipped toward him and smirked.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Mornin'," he murmured.

"I know you don't want to touch me," she said softly. "I know you don't want to have sex with me, and I know that you don't love me."

"Claire-" he began.

"It's ok," she nodded and sniffled softly. "I understand. I don't want-I don't want you to feel guilty over loving someone else. I know you love her."

"I do," he sighed. "But I want to be here for you. I want to-I want us to stay friends. I mean we made a baby right?"

"Yeah," she whispered and smiled. "I want to stay here with you. It was nice to wake up in your arms."

"Y'know…I was thinking it was pretty nice too," he nodded. He kissed her softly on the lips and then stood up and left the tent. He looked across the beach and saw Kate coming out of Jack's tent. When Kate saw Sawyer she turned back toward Jack, and grabbed his face and kissed him passionately. Sawyer rolled his eyes and walked down the beach the opposite direction. He started playing ping pong by himself, and then sat down in the sand. He felt someone come up behind him and really didn't feel like talking to anyone.

"Just go away," he sighed.

"Me and Kate didn't sleep together," Jack said, sitting down next to him.

"Whatever doc, I can't control what either of you do."

"Well could you really blame her?" Jack asked. "Look…I know that you say you love her, but if you love her how could you do that to her?"

"I don't know man," Sawyer sighed. "I'm an idiot."

"You are," Jack agreed and nodded.

"Thanks," Sawyer scoffed softly.

"She wants to sleep in my tent from now on," Jack replied. "We didn't have sex last night, but…I can't promise you that we'll stay away from each other forever. I mean she slept in my arms…she cried on my shoulder because you hurt her."

"I know," Sawyer mumbled. "And there ain't nothing I can do about it."

"You can at least say you're sorry."

"I did," Sawyer scoffed. "But she didn't believe me. I don't want to talk about this to you Jack. It's really none of your business."

"Well actually it is, because I love her, and no one can hurt my girl," Jack answered.

"She's not 'your' girl," Sawyer scoffed. "Just because you spent one day and one night with her, doesn't mean that you're together now. And I kinda think I remember saying I want to be alone."

"Well congratulations Sawyer, because keep all this up…and you will be alone," Jack responded.

That night Kate and Jack were in the same tent, and Sawyer and Claire were in the same tent. Sawyer had his hand resting on Claire's back. She was sleeping and he watched her. He felt guilty, because all he wanted was Kate to be next to him.

Kate and Jack weren't sleeping. Kate looked at him, and leaned forward to kiss him. He leaned forward too and kissed her softly. She rolled over on top of him and kissed him harder.

"Kate," he moaned. She started unbuttoning her jeans and then stopped abruptly. "What's wrong? Are you ok?"

"I can't do this," she whispered. "I'm just not ready."

She got up and left the tent. She had no where to go. There was no free tent, and then she looked at Claire's empty tent and sighed softly. She went over to the tent and laid down.

**4 Months Later**

Kate reconciled with Jack, and was back to sleeping in his tent, but not sleeping with him. Kate had assumed that Sawyer and Claire had sex every night. And Sawyer assumed that Kate and Jack were sleeping together. Even though they were both thinking the same thing, neither of them wanted to sleep with Jack or Claire.

Kate had been terrified that she might be pregnant when Juliet mentioned that men's sperm count was 5 times greater. But when she found out she wasn't, she was a little disappointed. She would watch Claire on the beach with Sawyer. Her belly grew by the day. Sawyer always looked so happy when he was hanging out with Claire. They always made each other laugh.

The truth was, that Sawyer was putting on a complete fake façade. He only pretended to be happy because he thought Kate was happy. Claire thought it was really stupid because she knew that Kate missed him, just as much as he missed her.

She was taking a nap in Sawyer's tent. Over the last few months she hadn't seen much of Jack. He would check on her every so often, but he was always short with her, which she didn't understand. She didn't know what she had done to piss him off. Sawyer was reading and Kate walked over to him and sat down.

"Hey," she whispered.

"I'm reading," he told her.

"Are you mad at me?" she asked. "Because you have-"

"Kate, you've said 2 sentences to me in the last 4 months," he interrupted. "I don't get why all the sudden you're so interested in saying anything to me."

"I just-" she started. "I miss us. I miss our sex."

"Jack doesn't get you off?" he asked. "Sorry to hear that."

"Jack-" she began.

"I don't care what Jack does to you," he interrupted. "I don't care if Jack fucks you and makes you feel like a whore, or if Jack makes love to you and makes you feel loved. I don't care. Where is he anyway?"

"He went to go talk to Claire," she answered.

"Claire's taking a nap, she needs her rest," he said.

"Oh from all the sex you're having?" she asked and stood up.

"Believe what you want Kate," he mumbled. He didn't even know if she had heard him, but he wasn't going to go out of his way to tell her that he wasn't sleeping with Claire. Kate left him by himself to read. He felt a second person come up to him.

"Why do you do that dude?" Hurley asked.

"Do what?" Sawyer asked.

"Why do you make her believe that you don't love her?"

"She can believe whatever the hell she wants to believe Hugo," he answered. "If she wants to think that me and Claire are sleeping together she can go right ahead."

"Are you?" Hurley asked.

"No," he replied. "I care about Claire…her baby…it's our baby…but I'm not sleeping with her. I'm not over Kate."

"Then why don't you tell Kate that?" Hurley questioned.

"Because she wouldn't believe me anyway," he answered.

"Well then make her believe-" Hurley started.

"You don't know Kate," Sawyer interrupted. "She'll believe whatever she want to believe."

Claire woke up from her nap and decided to go for a walk. She walked down the beach and felt someone coming up next to her. She looked toward him and saw Charlie. She had met Charlie a few times. He seemed very sweet, but somewhat strange.

"Hi Charlie," she said.

"You want some company?" he asked.

"Sure," she smiled. "Thanks."

"I know you're with Sawyer and all I just-" he started.

"Hold on," she said with a chuckle. "I'm not with Sawyer. I mean I sleep next to him, but we're not together anymore."

"But he's the father right?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "But it was a long time ago. He doesn't love me. He loves Kate."

"What about you?" he questioned. "Ok…never mind. Forget I asked that. I'm starting to sound like some creepy stalker."

"No," she chuckled. "It's alright. It's actually nice talking to someone."

"Don't you talk to Sawyer?"

"Well yeah," she answered. "But I dunno-it's weird. He doesn't want to admit to me how much he loves Kate. He pretends that he's so happy hanging out with me every day, but I know he's not. I just wish he'd admit it to himself. And Kate."

Charlie and Claire spent the day together. Sawyer was worried about where she was, until he saw her come back with Charlie, and then he was almost a little jealous because Claire had spent the entire day with someone else, but then he looked the opposite end of the beach and saw Kate and Jack. He got up quickly and went into the tent to read. As he was reading he fell asleep. He woke up to Claire shaking him awake.

"Sawyer I just wanted to let you know that I'm eating dinner with Charlie tonight," she said.

"What?" he mumbled, still half asleep.

"I just wanted to let you know so you don't worry about me," she replied. "I don't want to be a burden."

"Aburden?" he asked. "You aren't a burden Claire. You really think that you're a burden?"

"Well yeah," she nodded. "I mean I know it's not a picnic sleeping next to me, with my big belly always in the way, and now you don't have to."

"So you're going to sleep with him tonight?" he questioned. "Nice."

"Sawyer, I know that you love her," she sighed. "I'm not going to intrude anymore. I'm a big girl…I'm about to give birth…it's time for me to sleep in my own tent."

"No," he shook his head and took her by the hand. "Stay…please?"

"Alright," she sighed. "But only until you mend things with Kate."

That night Kate was in the tent with Jack. She started kissing him softly and slowly. He kissed her back, but they both stopped and fell asleep.

Claire had spent most of the night with Charlie, and then came back to Sawyer's tent to sleep. She and Sawyer were looking at each other. He had his hand resting on her enormous belly.

"I have one more month," she whispered. "Juliet said everything is going well."

"I remember how scared I was when they took you," he murmured. "I tried to forget about it. Kate-never mind. I don't want to talk about her."

"Why?" she asked. "Sawyer it's ok. I understand. I don't love you anymore."

"What?" he chuckled.

"I mean I love you for taking care of me," she responded. "I love you for what you've done for me, and for trying. For being the father of my baby. But I want you to be happy. Kate-when I used to watch you with Kate…the first 2 months we were here…I was jealous, but it was because I saw how happy you were."

"I've had a pretty disgusting life mamacita," he whispered. "I never loved anyone. I never cared about anyone. But I care about you I care a lot about you Claire."

"But you love her," she said, touching his face softly. He looked down, almost as if ashamed.

"Yeah," he mumbled.

"Hey," she stated softly. "Baby, it's ok. It's ok James. She loves you too."

"Did you just call me baby?" he chuckled. "You dork."

He shoved her gently and she pulled him into a hug.

"Your fat belly is in the way," he teased.

"Hey, it is your fault that I have this fat belly," she teased back.

Sawyer fell asleep quickly after. Claire was still awake. She watched him sleep, and then flipped over to stop looking at him. She was still in love with him, but she thought it would be easier if he thought she didn't. She waited for Sawyer to start snoring, and then left the tent to go sit by herself. As luck would have it when she got to her spot, Kate was sitting there too. Claire decided to sit down next to her.

"What do you want?" Kate asked. "You done screwing Sawyer?"

"I just came over here to watch the ocean," she replied. "Look…I know you don't want to hear this, but Sawyer loves you. He loves you so much Kate."

"Then why is he sleeping with you?" Kate asked.

"Because you haven't had the heart to forgive him," Claire answered standing up. "And who says we're sleeping together anyway?"

Claire made her way back to the tent and laid down. Sawyer woke up as Claire moved next to him.

"Hey," he mumbled, still half asleep. "You alright?"

"Go to her," she whispered. "Just go to her. She misses you."

"Nah," he shook his head. Claire had tears coming into her eyes. She shook her head and sniffled.

"Sawyer, she loves you," she whispered. "You both deserve to be together. I can see how much you love each other. Just go. Go…before I change my mind."

He got up and left the tent. Claire flipped over and sobbed herself to sleep.

Sawyer walked down the beach and found Kate sitting alone. He sat down next to her, but didn't look at her. He half expected her to get up and leave but she didn't. She was sitting with her hands flat against the sand. He still didn't look at her. He looked out of the corner of his eye and saw her hand in the sand. He hesitated before taking moving his hand toward hers. He took her hand in his. Again he thought that she would pull away, but she didn't.

"I miss us too, Freckles," he whispered.

"I missed you calling me Freckles," she said, with tears coming into her eyes. He finally looked at her and touched her face. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his shoulder. She ran her hands up his arms and to his neck. She kissed him and pulled him closer. Their tongues touched, and a spark re-ignited. They both started kissing deeply and passionately, neither of them coming up for a breath. Finally Sawyer backed away.

"I can't do this tonight," he whispered. She nodded, but he could tell that she was almost shocked at what he said.

"Ok," she said softly.

"Kate," he said, stopping her. "You have no idea…I've waited 4 months to kiss you like that again, but I have to think about Claire. She's getting ready to give birth. I don't want her sleeping in her tent alone. I'm not sleeping with her Kate…never was. If you don't believe me then there's nothing I can do about that, but-if we waited 4 months…we can wait another few weeks till Claire has the baby. And even then…I'm going to be this baby's father."

"I know," she nodded. "Goodnight James."

**A/N: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVEIWS!! I hope you all enjoy it. Like I said in my last A/N, I will have more Jate in the next chapter, but the next chapter will most likely be the end of Jate. **


	12. Chapter 12

Over the next couple weeks Sawyer and Kate continued to talk, but neither of them were ready for forgiveness. Claire was spending more and more time with Charlie. She had stopped sleeping in Sawyer's tent, which made Kate happy.

One night Claire was in her own tent, talking to Charlie. Sawyer was in his tent. He was staring at the ceiling. Jack had started to hang out more and more with Juliet, which made Kate jealous too. She knew she shouldn't be jealous because she loved Sawyer, and she didn't love Jack the way she loved Sawyer, but she liked the attention she got from Jack, so seeing him give his attention to someone else made her jealous.

She was sitting on the beach by herself, and she heard loud laughter coming from up the beach. Juliet and Jack were sitting in the sand, both of them were laughing. Kate stood up and went to Sawyer's tent. He was laying on his back. She crawled over him and kissed his lips.

"What are you doin'?" he mumbled.

"I'm making out with you," she answered quickly. She continued to kiss him, and he kissed back. He rolled over on top of her and looked down at her. He kissed her softly and slowly. She ran her hands down the back of his neck and down his arms. He stopped kissing her and noticed that she was crying. He shook his head and ran his hand over her cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

"Shut up," she shook her head. "Make love to me James. Make me come. "

He looked down at her, wondering if she was actually serious. He leaned back down and kissed her harder. She moaned softly and they started removing clothes. She moved out of her underwear and Sawyer looked down at her.

"What do you want?" he whispered.

"Your tongue," she sighed. "I'm already so wet James, make me wetter."

"Fuck Kate," he replied.

"I miss you in me," she moaned and started touching herself. He kissed her lips and then quickly moved down her body. She started breathing rapidly and he started blowing on her softly. She gasped and moved underneath him. He stuck his tongue out, but only enough to tease her. She let out another breath and he started drawing the alphabet with his tongue.

"Sawyer," she breathed. He started moving his tongue quicker, and she came. He chuckled and moved back up her body. She looked at him and smirked. "I want you so bad James."

He pulled his boxers down and hovered over her. Kate bit down on her lip as Sawyer pushed into her. She closed her eyes and ran her tongue over her own lips. Sawyer moved quicker and made Kate moan loudly. They both came and Sawyer rolled off of her. Sawyer kissed her shoulders and she was facing away from him. She started moving next to him, and he looked at her back.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I want to come again," she moaned softly.

"Freckles," he started, and he put his hand on her shoulder. "I have no problem helping out with that."

"I gotta go," she answered, and quickly got dressed and left the tent. Sawyer took a deep breath and put his face in his pillow. Part of him wanted to follow her, and ask her what the hell was wrong with her, but the other part of him was just pissed. He didn't follow her. He knew that eventually she would be crawling back into his tent.

She walked down the beach and felt horrible. She loved Sawyer, but she couldn't be with him just yet. She still didn't trust him completely, and she was still afraid that he would want to be with Claire, especially when she gave birth.

Claire had seen Kate leaving Sawyer's tent quickly. Charlie had already left her tent for the night. She walked over to Sawyer's tent and pulled the flap back. Sawyer was staring at the ceiling and he was seething.

"Sawyer?" she asked.

"Mamacita? What are you doin' here? The baby? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she chuckled. "Saw Kate, leaving your tent. I wanted to make sure you're ok."

"She's-" he started. "She's insufferable. I don't even know if she likes me. Maybe she just-"

"Sawyer you're crazy," she laughed again and shook her head. "Of course Kate likes you. In fact, Kate loves you. She's in love with you and I'm pretty sure it scares her to death because just like you…she's never been in love either."

"We both have the capacity to hurt one another. And we know just what to say-" he mumbled. "You know, when I was 8, my mom died…I was in the room with her."

"How did she die?" Claire whispered.

"She was having an affair," he mumbled. "And when she tried to break it off the guy kinda went psycho. He wouldn't let her go. So he killed her, and then he killed himself. He better be glad he killed himself because if he hadn't…I'd be about ready to murder him myself."

"And you were there?" Claire asked softly.

"I was hiding in my room. He dragged her into my room and shot her. I stayed hidden in my closet, and when he killed himself I ran out and tried to save her. She was bleeding-" he stopped talking mid sentence and rubbed his eyes. "I can't-"

"You don't have to," she said. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly. He put his head against her shoulder.

Kate had come back up to the tent to apologize, but she stopped when she heard Sawyer and Claire talking. She knew that Sawyer's mom had been murdered, but she didn't know the whole story. And she really didn't know that Sawyer had been in the room with her.

"Thanks Claire," he whispered. "I just kinda need to be alone if that's ok."

"Of course," she nodded. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," he answered.

The next day Claire and Charlie were in the jungle together. He had started going on her walks with her, just in case she went into labor. They were resting, and Claire took a deep breath.

"You alright?" he asked.

"I think," she nodded. "No…no…something's-Charlie-"

"Ok," he said softly. "It's gonna be ok. We're gonna get you back to the beach."

"No," she shook her head. "No we can't. I'm-I think I'm having contractions."

"OK," he said. "You have to count. Um-I-I don't know what to do-I'll go get Jack."

"No!" she exclaimed. "Don't leave me."

"Ok," he nodded. "Alright I won't go anywhere."

"Oh my God," she whispered.

"What?" he said, in a panic. "What happened?"

"My water just broke."

"Help!" Charlie yelled. Claire groaned in pain and Charlie held on to her hand and continued to yell for help. Sawyer was walking through the jungle when he heard the yelling. He quickly ran toward whoever was yelling and found Charlie and Claire.

"Claire," he said. "Claire?"

"Sawyer," she cried. "My water broke."

"Ok," he whispered. "Come on, we have to get you back to the beach."

"Sawyer I don't think I can move," she stated.

"Ok…well then I'll go get Jack," he answered.

"No," she said grabbing his hand. "Don't leave me. Don't leave me Sawyer."

"Ok," he whispered. "I won't. I won't. Charlie…go get Jack."

"I'm not leaving her either mate," Charlie answered.

"Well one of us has to!" Sawyer exclaimed. "Do you want to try and help her deliver this baby when we have a doctor on the beach? Because I sure as hell don't know what the hell to do. Go get Jack. Go!"

Charlie hesitated, and then realized that he had to go get Jack. He ran through the jungle and toward the beach. Jack was on the beach helping Juliet build her tent.

"Jack!" Charlie exclaimed. "Jack it's Claire!"

"Is she ok?" Jack asked, quickly turning around.

"She's in labor."

Jack and Juliet followed Charlie into the jungle to where Claire was. When they got there Sawyer was holding Claire's hand and she was breathing rapidly. Jack and Juliet started getting Claire ready. Sawyer didn't let go of Claire's hand. Charlie was on the other side of her, trying to comfort her as best he could.

It didn't take as long as Sawyer or Claire anticipated. She gave birth to a healthy baby boy. As they headed back to the beach Sawyer supported Claire and helped her walk. Half way back to the beach Sawyer picked her up and carriedher back to the beach. Jack held the baby. When they got back to the beach everyone gathered around them. Sawyer put Claire in her tent. Jack smiled weakly at Sawyer and handed him the baby. Claire was fast asleep and curled up next to Sawyer's legs. Sawyer took the baby and looked down at him.

"This is too weird," Sawyer shook his head. "He wasn't even here a couple hours ago."

"Congratulations Sawyer," Jack said, somewhat awkwardly. "Come get me when Claire wakes up. I'll need to examine her again."

"Ok," Sawyer mumbled.

"You're actually pretty natural with him," Jack added.

"No one's more suprised than me," Sawyer chuckled. Jack patted Sawyer on the shoulder and walked back down the beach.Sawyer looked down at the baby in his arms in awe. Kate was watching from across the beach. Sawyer looked pretty uncomfortable holding the baby. She smiled to herself. Jack walked over to her and smiled.

"Mother and baby are both good," he told her.

"Good," she nodded. "Jack, I'm so sorry. I'm a complete mess. I don't know why I do the things I do."

"I think I know," he whispered. "Kate, you love Sawyer don't you? You love him…and you want to be with him."

"But I don't want to lose us. And quite honestly I don't know if either of us are ready to try again. And plus he has a new baby to think about. I don't want to be in the way."

"Why don't you just-" he started. "Look…Kate I love you…you know that right?"

"Yeah," she whispered and sniffled.

"But because I love you…I'm gonna tell you that you and Sawyer deserve to be together," he continued. "Because unfortunately, I think even as much as I love you…he loves you more. And you deserve all the love in the world."

"Thanks Jack," she whispered.

"So go say hi to Sawyer's son," he said.

Kate leaned forward and kissed Jack on the cheek. She walked up to Claire's tent and looked at Sawyer. Sawyer was still looking down at the baby. The baby started fussing, and Sawyer started trying to calm him down, but he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Hey," Kate whispered.

"Hey," he sighed. "He's-Kate,I'm a dad."

"I know," she smiled and sat down next to him. "He's so cute Sawyer."

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Do you think he looks like me?"

"Maybe," she chuckled. "We'll have to wait till he's a little older to know for sure I guess. What did you name him?"

"Haven't yet," he shrugged. "I'm gonna let Claire do that."

"Why?" she asked with a smirk.

"Because I'm bad at naming anything," he replied.

"What are you talking about?" she laughed. "You give a nickname to everything."

"Ah, but key word there Freckles is nickname. I had a goldfish when I was a kid, and I never named him…I just called him goldfish. It's weird Kate…it's weird that he was born today."

"Why?" she asked.

"It's the anniversary of my momma's-" he sighed. "I watched my mother bleed to death 13 years ago."

_Flashback_

_James was waiting in the closet. He had lowered himself to the floor and was watching through the crack in the closet door. The man had his mother by her hair. He dragged her into his bedroom and smacked her in the face._

_"Please," she sobbed. "Sawyer please don't hurt me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I can't be with you."_

_"If you can't be with me, then you can't be with anyone."_

"Put that gun away!" she screamed. Before another word the gun went off. James closed his eyes, but he heard his mom hit the ground. He opened his eyes again and saw that his mom was shot and bleeding. Then the man walked over to his bed and shot himself in the head. James closed his eyes and ears and then heard a sound that made him sick to his stomach. He heard his mom coughing. He ran out of the closet and knelt next to his mom.

"Momma," he said. "Momma are you ok?"

"_James," she whispered. "I'm hurt James."_

"_That man shot you," he stated._

"Yeah," she moaned. "Remember when your daddy took you hunting and you shot the bunny rabbit?"

"_Yeah," he said with tears coming into his eyes. "The bunny died."_

_"Yeah," she whispered and touched his face. "Sweetie it's gonna be ok. I love you."_

"_I love you too, mommy," he replied._

"I want you to do me a favor ok?" she asked. "I want you to love from the tips of your fingers, down to your tippy toes."

"_Mommy," he whispered. "Don't leave me."_

"_I will always be right here James," she said, reaching up and putting her hand on his chest. "Right in your heart."_

_James held on to his mom's hand and waited until he heard the sirens. His mom had stopped breathing, and the police and paramedics tried to explain it to him, but he still refused to let go of his mother's hand. When his father came home and saw James, covered in his mother's blood, he quickly picked him up and tore him away from his mother._

_Flashback Over_

Sawyer looked up at Kate and saw that she was crying. He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly.

"I don't-" Sawyer sighed. "I don't know what to do Freckles."

"What do you mean?" she sniffled.

"I know that I've let my mom down," he whispered. "I have to be a good dad. But I don't know how. I don't know if I'll-what if something happens. I wish I could be a good dad Kate."

"If you want to be a good dad, then you will be," she told him. "I mean you're already holding him, and taking care of him, like a good dad is supposed to do."

"What happens when he gets older and he wants to know why his mom and me don't live together?" he asked.

"I don't think he's gonna care," Kate shook his head. "He won't know the difference. All he'll care about is that you're there for him if he falls down and get's a scraped knee. Or that you'll keep him safe from the monsters in his dreams."

"Or the monsters in the jungle," he mumbled, and forced a smile. "Thanks Kate."

"Hey," she whispered. "Any time."

She leaned toward him and they were inches from each other's lips. As their lips touched the baby started crying again. This time Claire woke up and took the baby from Sawyer to calm him down. Sawyer looked at Kate and she smiled weakly and left the tent. He sighed softly and looked back at Claire and the baby.

"Think of a name yet darlin'?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "But I will. What about you?"

"Nope," he shrugged. "As of right now I'm thinking it would be much better for him, if you just name him."

"You're probably right," she smirked.

"Can I hold the baby?" Charlie asked, coming toward the tent.

"Sure Charlie," Claire smiled.

"I'll see you around Claire," Sawyer said patting her on the shoulder and leaving the tent.

"Yeah," she nodded.

Sawyer walked back to his tent and laid down. He wanted Kate to come sleep next to him, but he didn't want to ask her to. He wanted her to want him, for more than just sex. He didn't want to have to beg her. He wanted her to come in all by herself. As he laid in his tent wishing Kate would show up, she was sitting on the beach thinking the same thing. Only she decided to act on it. She walked up to his tent and decided to wait for him inside his tent. She expected that he was still in Claire's tent with the baby. She opened the tent flap and saw that Sawyer was there.

"Freckles?" he asked.

"James," she whispered. She knelt down next to him and then laid down.

"What do you want?" he whispered seductively.

"Just to sleep next to you," she answered softly. "Sawyer I need to take this slow."

"What about what we did last night?" he asked. "You call that taking it slow?"

"No," she sighed. "Sawyer I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I care about us so much. I want us to just get everything back. We were so in love Sawyer…I mean weren't we?"

"I never stopped loving you Freckles," he said, running his hand through her hair.

"I have a confession," she stated. "I did. I hated you when I found out that you and Claire-I was so mad. But even though I hated you, and I was pissed that you slept with Claire…I couldn't sleep with Jack. I couldn't do the same thing."

"Well thank God for that," he chuckled.

* * *

Claire was in awe at how natural both Charlie and Sawyer were with the baby. As Charlie held the baby Claire smiled at him.

"Have you been around a lot of babies?" Claire asked. "You're so great with him."

"No," he shook his head. "Not much. But this little guy…he's quite a handsome fellow huh?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I don't know what to name him."

"I've always thought the name Charles was nice," Charlie smirked.

Claire let out a chuckle and nodded.

"That might be kinda confusing," she answered. "Especially if you're gonna be in our life."

"Do you want me to be?" Charlie asked. Claire took the baby from Charlie and put him in the cradle that she helped Locke make. She smiled at him and moved closer to him.

"Charlie," she started. "You've been so good to me. And the thing that just amazes me…it doesn't even seem to bother you that Sawyer is the father of my baby."

"Oh it bothers me," he answered. "Of course it bothers me. It means that, that southern jackass is gonna always be in your life. But I really like you Claire…so I'll get over it."

"Thank you Charlie," she smiled, and leaned toward him to kiss him. He kissed her back, and then backed away.

"Goodnight," he whispered.

"Goodnight Charlie," she nodded.

**A/N: Please please review!!1**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Dramafreak-Sorry. I definitely screwed up with the whole doctor thing, lol, but Jack is in med school…he's not in high school anymore (Claire and Kate were, but Sawyer and Jack are older) . But the Juliet thing was supposed to be implied since Sawyer and Kate were in the cages, but I guess it wasn't. I'll be doing a flashback in this chapter to explain things better.  
****Lizi-thanks for the review as always!**

Sawyer woke up and saw Kate sleeping next to him. He could hear the baby screaming from down the beach. He kissed Kate softly on the shoulder and got up to leave the tent. He walked down the beach and realized that it was both the baby and Claire crying. He walked up to her and sighed softly.

"Claire you ok?" he asked.

"He hate's me," she sobbed.

"Claire," he chuckled. "You're his momma, he loves you."

"I can't think of a name," she said softly. "I'm not bonding with him."

"It's only been 6 hours," he answered. "You will. I promise."

"Juliet said most mom's look at their baby and instantly love them," she frowned. "I mean-I love him…but I dunno I feel like I don't love him enough."

"Claire what would you do to protect him?" he whispered.

"Anything," she answered.

"Then that's all you can do," he replied. "Here give me the baby…maybe you can try to get some sleep."

"Where are you gonna take him?" she asked, slightly nervous.

"Oh I thought I'd take him surfing," he responded sarcastically. "Claire I'm just gonna be back up in my tent."

"Is Kate there?" she questioned.

"Yeah Claire," he nodded. "Why?"

"Because my baby is going to think she's his mother if she's the one taking care of him," she said.

"Hey," he started stepping toward her and taking the baby from her. "He is not going to think that Kate is his mom. Plus I'm gonna be the one taking care of him."

"Are you gonna let her hold him?" she asked. "Are you going to make out with her while our baby is right there."

"No," he scoffed. "But yeah, I'll probably let her hold him. Just like you let Charlie hold him. Claire it's gonna be fine."

"She already took you from me," Claire frowned. "I just don't want her taking my son from me too."

"Kate is going to be in my life Claire, so you better get over this little insecurity quick. The baby is not going to think that Kate is his mom, and Kate isn't going to take him from you. I wouldn't let that happen anyway…and why don't you come up with a damn name."

"He's your kid too!" she exclaimed. "How about you name him!"

"Stop yelling," he whispered. "You're scaring him."

Claire walked in the opposite direction as Sawyer and he walked back up to the tent. When he got there, he saw Kate staring at Jack and Juliet from inside the tent. He sat down next to her and the baby was still crying. Sawyer bounced the baby slowly and looked at Kate.

"What's up Kate?" he asked. "Are you wishin'-"

"I'm not," she interrupted and shook her head. "I don't want to be with Jack. I want to be with you James. But I just-I want to know what she has that I don't. Is she pretty?"

"Prettier than you?" he asked and shook his head at the same time. "Not a chance Freckles. I don't know what Jack sees in her, but obviously something happened while they had him held captive…brought them together."

_Flashback_

_Jack woke up in his glass cage. He was hoping that Kate was ok. He would even feel somewhat guilty if something bad happened to Sawyer. He watched the door, and when Juliet came into the room he sighed to himself._

_"Where are my friends?" he asked._

_"Jack, we need your help," she stated softly._

_"With what?" he scoffed._

_"You're going to school to become a doctor right?"_

"Yeah, but I've only been in school for 3 years," he answered. "I'm no where near getting my doctorate."

_"We need your help," she responded. "You must know some of what your dad does.""My dad is a spinal surgeon," he replied. "I don't know any thing about how to operate on a spine. I haven't even done my residency. Is that why you took us? You want me to do surgery? You better do your homework next time."_

_"We did," she smirked. "We just wanted to see how far you would go to save your friends."_

_"If you hurt her," he said, stepping toward the glass._

_"We didn't touch her," she sighed. "Her little boyfriend though-he's gonna die."_

"Why?" he asked. "Because I haven't made it through medical school? I mean I guess I could try and do the surgery…but if he dies, it won't be on me. Who needs surgery anyway?"

_"Ben," she stated. "Jack, it's ok. We'll just figure something else out. But what would you do to save them?"_

_"You can threaten me all you want…you won't do anything," he scoffed._

_"Ben is pretty powerful Jack," she answered. "He will do whatever he wants to you and your friends. But me-Jack you gotta get me outta here."_

_"What are you talking about?" he whispered._

"I've been here for 3 years," she began. "I was supposed to be here for 3 months. That turned in to a year and before I knew it I've been here 3 years. I want to leave this island Jack. Please…help me."

_"I'm not doing anything to help you," he responded. "You have me and my friends captive. What the hell do you think I can do anyway."_

_"If I help Sawyer and Kate escape…will you help me?" she asked. "Ben-he'll do something-I don't even know…we have a submarine. We'll figure it out…we'll manipulate…we'll get the hell off. Don't you want to get off the island Jack?"_

_"More than anything," he answered._

_Flashback Over_

"Trust builds," Sawyer shrugged. "I dunno…the guy is crazy. Why don't you ask him?"

"Sawyer-" she started.

"You want him, why don't you go?" he sighed. "I gotta take care of the baby."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said running her hand down his neck. "Have you come up with a name yet?"

"Kate," he started. "I can't keep doing this. This back and forth thing."

"I already told you," she started. "I do not want Jack. I just wonder why he's-last night was one of the most disgusting things I've ever done Sawyer…I saw Jack and Juliet sitting together, and I got jealous-"

"Nice to know," he nodded. "Claire's pissed at me for being with you. Maybe it would be just easier-"

"We just spent 3 hours laying together and now you're kicking me out?" she asked. "Sawyer, what did I do? I don't-I don't want to be with Jack."

"Then how come you seem to be so fixated on what he's doing?" he whispered. "Kate, why do you care so much about who Jack is hanging out with? Is it that you just don't want anyone to be happy…including yourself?"

"Maybe," she whispered. Sawyer sighed deeply and got up. He left Kate alone, and walked up to Claire's tent. Claire was sitting, staring at the empty cradle. Sawyer put the baby down and sat down next to her.

"I'm sorry," they both said together.

"What do you have to be sorry about Mama," he chuckled.

"I totally overreacted. Of course Kate is gonna be in Aaron's life," she said.

"Aaron?" he asked. "Where'd you think of that name?"

"I dunno," she shrugged. "It just sounds right."

"Ok," he nodded. "Anyway…I don't think that Kate will be hanging out around Aaron too much now. We just-like I said earlier…she's insufferable."

"What'd she do now?" Claire asked.

"Well she pretty much admitted to me that last night when she came crawling into my tent, it was because of Jack," he sighed. "I know I probably deserve it, I just-I lose all my brain cells when I'm around her. I let her use me. I let her hurt me."

"Why?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged.

"You two belong together!" Claire exclaimed, a little louder than she planned on.

"Why not tell the whole beach Claire?" he laughed.

"Sorry," she mumbled. "I just-I've been thinking about it. A lot. And as much as I wish that we could be together…you'll never love anyone the way you love Kate."

"I wish I could believe her when she says that she doesn't want Jack," he sighed. "But-I just-I watch her staring at him and Juliet. I can't help but think she's jealous as hell. Maybe I'm not enough for her. I mean she's never stayed faithful to anyone."

"Well have you?" Claire chuckled. "I mean come on! You cheated on me with her, and then you turned around and cheated on her with me."

"I know," he nodded. "Maybe we're both too broken to be fixed."

Claire looked at him sadly and shook her head. She touched his face softly and then pushed his face to force him to look down at the baby.

"Anything can be fixed Sawyer," she whispered. "Don't give up on Kate."

"What if she gives up on me?" he asked.

"Don't let her," she said, beginning to yawn.

"I'll let you sleep," he whispered. "Come get me if Aaron gets to be too much."

"Ok," she nodded, and laid down.

Sawyer went back to his tent. He didn't think Kate would still be there, but she was. She was laying down, and Sawyer thought she was sleeping. He laid down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't hate me," she said. He jumped, not expecting her to speak.

"I don't," he answered. "But-Kate…you said earlier tonight that you want to take this slow. I'm thinking that maybe you're right. I don't want to hurt you…let's just-I dunno…take a break."

"A break?" she asked. "We haven't been together really in 4 months."

"You can stay here I guess," he sighed. "But mostly because we don't have the time to build you a tent tonight."

"Sawyer," she sniffled.

"I ain't mad," he shrugged. "I'm just-I don't really want to be the consolation prize tonight."

"You're not," she shook her head.

"Prove it to me," he replied. "Spend a month in my tent. A month without sex. Prove to me that you want me for me, and not for the way I make you feel."

He rolled over and closed his eyes. He didn't know if his plan was brilliant, or the most stupid thing he'd ever done.

**A/N: PPLLLEEAAASSEE REVIEW!**


	14. Chapter 14

Sawyer was sleeping. He could faintly hear the baby crying, coming from down the beach. He felt her body next to him. He could feel her breath on the back of his neck. And then it wasn't her breath, but her lips that he felt. Her tongue ran over his neck, and then he felt her flip him over and she kissed his lips. She quickly crawled on top of him and continued to kiss him. He kissed her back, but then he remembered that he had told her to wait a month. He kissed her, and then pushed her away.

"What are you doing?" he mumbled.

"Sawyer," she whispered, crawling back over him. She kissed him again, and he pushed her away again.

"What are you doing?" he repeated. "You can't even wait a day?"

"Y-yes," she stuttered. "James, I want-"

"I want you too," he stated. "But I'm gonna at least wait a week. We'll just see who will crack first."

"That's not what I was going to say," she whispered and climbed in top of him for a third time. "I want a baby with you Sawyer. I want to have a baby."

"What?" he asked. "Are you completely crazy?!"

"No," she said, rolling off of him. "Sawyer I want a baby."

"The only reason you want a baby is because you're jealous of Claire," he scoffed. "If Claire hadn't had a baby-"

"I would still want a baby with you Sawyer," she interrupted. "Sawyer I love you. And if I can prove it to you-"

"You think havin' a baby is gonna prove that Freckles?" he asked. "My parents had a baby and they hated each other."

"Do you think they always hated each other?" she whispered.

"No," he sighed. "But I know the only reason why my mom and dad got married was because of me. She couldn't stand him, so she cheated…and it killed her."

"James," she began. "That is not-"

"I don't want that to happen to you Kate," he whispered. "I don't want you to be with me, and then go to Jack when I'm not enough…and if it's not Jack, it will be someone else."

"No-" she started and shook her head.

"I can't have a baby with you Kate," he responded. "Speakin' of babies, I think I need to go help Claire."

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. "Are you just gonna go running to her every time we get in to an argument?"

"Yep," he answered, and left the tent. Kate got up and quickly followed him. She grabbed him roughly by the arm and pulled him toward her.

"A month?" she whispered. "Is that all you want?"

"A month," he nodded.

"Ok," she whispered. "I can go a month…but can I at least kiss and make-up?"

He scoffed, but leaned toward her and kissed her slowly. She kissed him back and hugged him tightly. He ran his hand down her back and then backed away. He looked down the beach and noticed that Claire had calmed Aaron down.

**2 Weeks Later**

Sawyer was going crazy, waking up next to Kate every morning, and wanting so badly to touch her, but not wanting to give her the satisfaction. She was going just as crazy, and often found herself relieving herself late at night after Sawyer was sleeping soundly. She wondered if he ever woke up early to relieve himself, and that only made her want him more.

Sawyer was sitting on the beach holding Aaron. He reached up and grabbed at Sawyer's hair, which was getting longer by the day.

"Hey!" Sawyer exclaimed. Aaron smiled, until Sawyer took his hair out of his fists. "That hurts."

Aaron started crying when Sawyer moved his hair out of his grasp. Sawyer sighed softly and looked down at him.

"You can't always get what you want," Sawyer told him. "Better to learn that now baldy."

"Teaching a little philosophy?" Kate asked with a smirk, and sitting down next to him.

"He can't always be pullin' at my hair," he sighed. "There won't be anything left."

"Where's Claire?" she asked.

"She's out on a walk with Charlie," he answered.

"What about you?" she questioned. "Do you want to go on a walk with me later on?"

"Sure," he stated. "As soon as she gets back."

No sooner did Sawyer say it, than Charlie and Claire walked up to them. Claire was soaking wet. Sawyer looked at her, confused and stood up.

"Charlie pushed me in to the surf," she chuckled.

"Why?" he asked.

"We were having fun mate," Charlie answered. "Just playing. I shoved her a little harder than I meant to."

"How was my good boy?" Claire said to Aaron, taking him from Sawyer's arms. "Did he cry?"

"Only when I didn't let him play with my hair," he replied. "If we're not careful he'll grow up to be a hairdresser."

"And what would be wrong with that?" Claire asked.

"Nothin' I guess," Sawyer shrugged. "Anyway, me and Kate were gonna go on a walk…you mind taking a turn."

"That's what I came here for," Claire smiled. "Have a good time."

Sawyer started walking away and then noticed that Kate wasn't following him. He turned back around and looked at her.

"You comin' or ain'tcha?" he asked.

"I'm coming," she smiled. She got up and followed him. Before they got into the jungle, she reached out and took his hand. He looked at her and smirked, but squeezed her hand firmly. They walked in silence for a while, and then Kate stopped walking.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm-have you thought anymore about what I said?" she questioned.

"What did you say?" he shrugged. "We've been walkin' almost 10 minutes, and you haven't said a word-"

"About having a baby," she answered.

"What?" he asked. "Kate I thought we've been through this. You don't want a baby-"

"Yes I do," she argued.

"Well I don't want a baby," he answered. "One is enough. I don't want any more."

"Never?" she asked. "You won't ever want a baby? You won't ever want to marry me?"

"You want to get married?" he asked. "Kate you're acting like a crazy person."

"Because I want to have a life with you?"

"Yes!" he exclaimed. "Kate come on! We haven't even-we don't even know if we can have a stable relationship Kate. How can you say that you want to have a baby and get married?"

"Because I do!" she yelled.

"Well I don't!"

"God!" she sighed. "Maybe you were right. Maybe we can never be together ever…all we do is fight."

"First coherent thing you've said all day Kate," he answered.

"I hate you," she shook her head.

"Right back at you!" he responded. They stared at each other, and neither of them turned away from each other. Sawyer and Kate both stepped forward at the same time and crashed into each other. Kate kissed him vigorously and he lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around him and he unbuttoned her pants with one hand and then put her down only long enough to pull both of their pants down. He backed against a tree and picked her back up. She moaned softly and refused to let either of them come up for a breath of air. She slid down over him and opened her eyes. They watched each other as they moved together. Kate smiled and kissed his lips.

"Hi," she whispered. He spun them around and shoved her against the tree. She moaned in pleasure, and in pain as the bark of the tree scratched her back.

"Sorry," he said. He stopped pressing up against her so hard.

"No," she shook her head. "Harder."

He groaned and complied, and they both came. He lifted her back down and pulled her pants up first, and then his own.

"2 weeks," he whispered. "I didn't think either of us would make it."

"Me neither," she shook her head and chuckled softly. "Every night the past two weeks I let you fall asleep first…"

"And then?" he asked softly, touching her arm softly.

"And then I would push my fingers into my soft wetness."

"Jeez Freckles," he moaned, stepping toward her again.

"What about you?" she asked.

"Every day," he began. "When I would tell you that I needed to take a leak-"

"So what do you say," she whispered. "Tonight…our tent?"

"I was thinkin', more a long the lines of right here, right now."

Both of their pants were still unbuttoned, and Sawyer reached his hand into her pants. She smirked at him and put her hand on top of his to guide him into her entrance. As they touched each other again, they were both thinking that 2 weeks was far too long.

That night Kate was laying against Sawyer's chest. He was running his hand down her back, and kept teasing her, going nearer and nearer to the top of her underwear.

"Do you really really want a baby?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Well then I guess we'll be having sex a helluva lot more," he mumbled.

"Sawyer," she began. "I don't-I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do."

"Can we just wait," he whispered. "If we have a baby now…Claire's just gonna think you're trying to compete with her."

"We can wait." she nodded. He leaned toward her and kissed her lips.

Claire was in her tent with the baby. She was laying down and rocking the cradle gently. Aaron looked up at her and cooed softly. She touched his face softly and smiled at him. She looked down the beach at Charlie's tent. He was sitting outside of it playing the guitar. She could hear a soft mellow song playing, but couldn't hear what he was singing. She picked up the baby and walked toward Charlie. She sat down and looked at him.

Everyone had been talking about the trek to the tower that would be taking place the next morning. Charlie was going to be going with Desmond to flip the switch. She was so worried. She had felt like she was finally over Sawyer, and now, she was terrified something might happen to Charlie. When she sat down next to him she could hear the song he was singing just barely. Charlie was sing just above a whisper. He was singing Wonderwall. She remembered that song from middle school.

"I love this song," she whispered and rested her head against his shoulder. "Charlie don't go tomorrow. Please don't go."

"Claire I have to," he answered. "For you and Aaron. Desmond had this vision. I know it sounds completely crazy Claire, but you and Aaron were getting on a helicopter. You were getting away from this place. Don't you want to get away?"

"Of course I do," she nodded. "But not at your expense Charlie. Who's going to sing Aaron to sleep?"

"Sawyer will," he smirked and they both laughed. He leaned forward and kissed her softly. The baby cooed again, and they both looked down at him.

"Don't worry about me Claire," he replied. "I'm gonna be just fine. You just concentrate on this little baby."

"I don't know about taking him into the jungle," she whispered. "I mean he's only 2 weeks old."

"He'll be fine Claire, you'll take good care of him, I'm confident…and plus he was born in the dead middle of the jungle."

"You're right," she smirked. "I'm just trying to make an excuse to stay I guess."

"All alone on the beach?" he asked. "I'm still going down to 'The Looking Glass' and everyone else is still going up to the tower. Jack, and Sawyer, and even Kate…they'll make sure everything's ok."

"Who's gonna keep you safe?" she whispered.

"I can take care of myself Claire…if I can get myself sober and off heroin, I can handle a small heroic task."

"You are my hero Charlie," she whispered.

He touched her face and tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. He leaned forward and kissed her again. Aaron reached up and tugged at Claire's hair. She smirked and then looked at Charlie.

"I guess I should get him back to his crib. Goodnight Charlie."

"I love you Claire," he whispered.

"I love you too," she smiled.

**A/N: So I hope everyone still likes! Thanks for the reviews! Please please review this one! **


	15. Chapter 15

Kate and Sawyer were walking with the rest of the group up the mountain. Claire was carrying Aaron, who was fussing and beginning to cry. Kate watched intently as Sawyer went toward Claire and offered to take the baby. She watched, and tried not to be jealous.

"Come on missy Claire, gimme the baby," he said. "You're exhausted."

"I need something to keep me from going crazy Sawyer," she sniffled. "Charlie just went on this suicide mission…I'm really worried even though he told me not to be. If I keep Aaron close, I'll keep it together."

"You can barely hold on to him anymore," he whispered. "Just give him to me…as soon as you want him back I'll give him to you."

"Fine," she mumbled. Sawyer took the baby out of her arms and looked down at him. He was sleeping soundly. Sawyer walked closer to Kate. Kate looked down at the baby and smiled weakly. She kept looking at the baby.

"Don't," he said.

"Don't what?" she asked.

"Don't start a fight right now," he replied. "Not in front of Aaron."

"I'm not," she answered. "I was just looking at him. He's adorable Sawyer. He looks just like you."

"Y'think?" he asked. "I dunno…I kinda think he looks more like his momma."

Sawyer looked back and saw that Claire wasn't behind them anymore. He looked back and then saw a small crowd around someone laying on the ground. Even though he couldn't see who it was, he knew it was Claire.

"Shit!" he exclaimed. "Kate take the baby."

He quickly handed Aaron to Kate, and she looked at the baby, uneasy. He ran toward Claire and pushed his way through the crowd.

"Claire," he whispered. "Claire-open your eyes honey."

"Sawyer?" she asked. "I'm so tired."

"Thank God I took the baby when I did then," he said with a slight smile, trying to keep things light.

"Is he ok!?" she exclaimed.

"He's fine," he nodded. "Kate's got him. Come on. Can you stand up?"

"Yeah," she said, putting her hand to her head.

"Ok," he whispered. "Come on…I'll carry you."

"I don't need to be carried," she scoffed.

"We gotta be taking a break soon anyway," he answered. "It's almost dark."

Sawyer picked her up and carried her. They were only walking 10 minute when the group heard two out of the three explosions. Sawyer put Claire down, and she quickly went over to Kate. Aaron was crying, and Claire took him from her.

"Claire are you ok?" Kate asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. "Just a little too much today I guess. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Kate nodded. "And Claire…I'm sure Charlie's gonna be just fine."

"Thanks," Claire smiled. "But why were there only 2 explosions."

Kate turned back to Jack, who was talking to Rose. They decided as a group they would rest for the night. Everyone was nervous about what was going on, but no one said anything. Sawyer sat down in the grass, and watched from afar as Claire calmed Aaron down. Kate sat down next to Sawyer and put her hand against his neck. He laid down and stared up at the sky. Kate laid down with him and put her head against his shoulder.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Yeah," he said quietly.

"Do you want to go for a walk?" she asked with a smirk, referring to the time they spent in the jungle the day before. He chuckled and sat up.

"What are we waiting for?" he replied. He stood up and took Kate by the hands. They walked into the jungle together, as discreetly as possible, but they were both sure that someone had to have seen, and neither of them cared. When they got deep enough into the jungle Kate wrapped her arms around him and kissed him softly and slowly. He pulled her shirt up and over her head and tossed it on the ground nearby. This time instead of standing up against a tree Sawyer lowered Kate to the ground and continued to kiss her.

"I want a baby," she whispered.

"Dammit Kate," Sawyer scoffed. "You said you were ok with waiting. You were just lying? Is that it? You want a baby so badly you don't even care who you hurt in the process. I'm not doing this with you tonight."

He stood up and threw her shirt at her and walked back up toward where they had made camp. He walked toward Claire who was laying with Aaron in the baby carrier that Charlie had made. He sat down hard and scoffed loudly.

"She's unbelievable," he sighed, mostly to himself, but loud enough for Claire to hear.

"What happened?" Claire said scooting nearer to him.

"She wants a damn baby," he answered. "I mean she wants to get pregnant on purpose. What the hell is her problem."

"Well Sawyer," Claire began. "First of all thanks for in so many words saying that Aaron was a mistake-"

"Claire that isn't what I was saying," he sighed. "I just-Aaron wasn't planned Claire. I'm not saying that he was a mistake, but he wasn't planned. And Kate wants to get pregnant on purpose."

"Do you think that maybe, just maybe it's because you see the attention I get?" she asked.

"I think that's exactly why," he answered. "And it's exactly why we can't have a baby. We can't have a baby solely because she's jealous. We have to wait till we're both ready. And besides that she's just barely out of high school…no offense."

"None taken," she shrugged. "Sawyer, I think you should talk to her then. I just want you both to be happy. I really think you can make each other happy if you really try."

He nodded slowly and laid down. He wasn't laying there very long before he felt Kate lay down next to him. She didn't say anything, and didn't even move to touch him. He felt somewhat guilty for what he said to her, but at the same time he was hoping that he had heard the last of the pregnancy thing for a while anyway.

They woke up in the morning and began walking. Sawyer and Kate barely even said good morning to each other. Things were still very tense. Everyone could feel the tension between the two of them. Claire tried to talk to Sawyer again, and Jack tried talking to Kate, but nothing they said seemed to work. They stopped to rest half way through the day and to get water. Sawyer was filling his water bottle when Kate came up to him.

"I think we should go back," she whispered. "They should have caught up to us by now. What if something-Sawyer what if something happened?"

"Every man for himself Freckles," he mumbled. "We ain't goin' back. Sayid can take care of himself."

"What's the matter with you?" she asked. "Why are you so angry? What the hell happened to you?"

"Shut up!" he exclaimed.

"James," she whispered. "I won't talk about having a baby anymore."

"Do you want to know why I can't have a baby with you?"

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Because I'm a murderer, and I would never make a good enough father or husband," he answered, and left her standing there confused and slightly shocked. She quickly followed him and grabbed him by the hand.

"What are you talking about James?"

"It's my fault she's dead," he mumbled. "It's all my fault."

"Sawyer," she shook her head and touched his shoulder.

"If I hadn't-" he sighed. "I made my mom stay with me. She was going to leave me-I made her stay."

"Sawyer what the hell are you talking about? Why are you all the sudden thinking about this?" she asked.

"Because I was watching Aaron sleeping the other day…it reminded me of something my mom used to say. She used to say that she could spend hours just watching me sleep. I always thought that was so weird. I thought that it would be boring to just watch a baby sleep-anyway going off topic. The day my mom died…my dad was on a business trip. He was coming home that day. My mom used to leave me home alone for a couple hours here and there. Nothing substantial…but she told me that she had to go away for a while. I started crying like a stupid baby, and my mom stayed and said she'd leave when my dad got home. I was still upset because I didn't want her to go anywhere, but-"

"James," she began. "It is not your fault that that man killed your mom. It is not her fault either. He was crazy. If you can't see that-hasn't anyone ever told you that it's not your fault?"

"My dad blames me," he whispered.

"Well then no offense but your dad is an asshole," she said simply. "Did he actually say that? Did he actually tell you that it's your fault?"

"Well no," he replied. "I just know. If it weren't for me then my mom would have left when she wanted to and she'd still be alive."

"Sawyer you're a good daddy," she told him. "It's why I want a baby with you. I'm not-I don't want to fight about it anymore, but-my favorite thing to do is go to the park and watch the dad's with their kids. It's mostly moms, but there's a couple dads. I knew the moment that I saw you holding Aaron, that you were going to make a great dad. You are so incredibly adorable holding that baby. I just can't wait till you can hold our baby."

"OK," he sighed. "I'll go back and see if Sayid and everyone is ok."

"I'll come with you," she chimed.

"No," he shook his head. "Because what if you're right Kate? What if they're dead, and what if the others are still there waiting for us. I can't risk you."

"I'm a big girl Sawyer," she answered. "I can take care of myself."

"I know," he nodded. "But I still can't risk it. What if-there's too many what if's Kate. I'm not taking you with me. And I'm going to tell Jack, so he can keep an eye on you."

"I don't need keeping!" she exclaimed.

"Jack!" Sawyer exclaimed. "I'm going back to the beach."

"No way," Jack shook his head. "We stay together. It's suicide if you go by yourself."

"He won't be by himself," Kate shook her head. "I'm going with him."

"No you're not," Sawyer said firmly. "Don't let her follow me Jack."

"Kate, I think he's right," Jack answered. "Stay here with us."

"Fine," she scoffed. "Sawyer be careful. Because you're not invincible."

He smirked at her and stepped toward her. He pulled her closely and kissed her lips softly. He left the group, and Juliet followed him, against Jack's wishes, but she insisted.

It would be 4 more hours before Kate and Sawyer saw each other again.

**A/N: Please please review!**


	16. Chapter 16

Sawyer walked with Juliet and Hurley back to the cockpit. As everyone was reunited he could only think of one thing…not Kate, but telling Claire about Charlie. Claire was bouncing Aaron and smiling at him. Sawyer put his hand to his forehead and walked toward her.

"Claire," he whispered.

"Hey," she said. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "Come here."

He took Claire by the hand and lead her somewhere more private, but still in front of everyone. She looked at him, slightly scared about what he was about to tell her. He looked at her and then looked at his feet.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Claire," he started. "It's Charlie."

"No," she shook her head.

"Sweetheart," he started. "I'm so sorry. He's-he didn't make it Claire."

"No!" she screamed. She fell to her knees still holding the baby, and he went to his knees with her. He wrapped his arms around her, both trying to comfort her, and cradle the baby to keep him from falling. He looked up at Kate and Jack and know what to say. Claire sobbed on to Sawyer's shoulder.

When the groups split up, Sawyer went with Locke's group, and Kate stayed with Jack's. She asked Sawyer to stay with her, but he refused. Kate watched him walk away with the rain pouring down on her. She went and stood by Jack, looking into the cockpit.

"Kate," he whispered. "We won't go anywhere without you."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"We all saw the look on your face when Sawyer just left," he sighed. "Go on. We won't leave without you. I promise."

Kate smiled at him and started following in the direction that the other group had taken. She wasn't walking very long when she heard voices. Sawyer and Hurley talking. She ran in their direction and came through the trees to be face to face with Sawyer.

"Hey," she whispered. Hurley winked at Sawyer and started walking ahead of them. As the night sky got lighter, Kate was hoping that they would reach their destination quickly. She was wet from the rain and exhausted. When they came to the other's village Kate and Sawyer headed to a house. Claire and Hurley went to a different house, even though both Kate and Sawyer insisted they could all stay at the same house.

Kate crawled into bed, even though it was morning, and started dosing off. Sawyer laid down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. She woke up and flipped over toward him. She kissed his lips and he kissed her back. She moaned softly and then backed away.

"James," she whispered. "Will you make love to me? Just love me."

"All morning if you want me to Freckles," he said quietly. He leaned toward her again and kissed her lips. She opened her mouth to his tongue. He pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it on the floor.

"You're soaked," he whispered, running his hand through her hair, which was still damp.

"You too," she replied, pushing his shirt off his shoulders. As their skin touched neither of them could contain themselves any longer. They clawed at each other's clothes and skin. They left small scratches on each others bodies, but neither of them cared. Sawyer pushed Kate down and got on top of her. She pulled him down on top of her and kissed him deeply.

"I love you," he whispered. She smiled widely to herself and wrapped her legs around him, to pull him even closer.

"I love you too," she stated.

They were laying in each other's arms. Kate had fallen asleep against his chest. He kissed her on the forehead, and tried to fall asleep too. He thought about Kate wanting a baby. He still thought she was crazy and he didn't want to have another baby to have to worry about. He didn't even know if he would do a good enough job with Aaron. It had only been 2 weeks, and he was already hoping that Claire would take more responsibility. Even though he had told Claire it was ok if she came and stayed with him and Kate, he was glad that she had chosen to stay with Hurley instead. He knew it was horrible to think, because he wanted to love Aaron and take care of him, but he didn't feel like he would ever be good enough.

He heard a knock at the door, and grumbled to himself. He was extremely comfortable under the covers with Kate, and did not want to leave the bed. Mainly because he was still naked. He kissed Kate softly on the lips and left the bed. He pulled on his boxers, and went to answer the door. Claire was standing in front of him with the baby.

"I'm so sorry Sawyer. I know that I'm-I just can't get him to sleep…and I'm so tired. I don't know what I'm doing anymore."

"Claire it's ok," he said softly. "You'll learn. It's only been 2 weeks. You'll learn everything that a mom needs to know."

"I just don't know what to do to settle him down."

"Well here," he sighed. He took the baby from her arms and set him down on the floor. Claire looked like she was about to protest so Sawyer put his hand up to stop her from saying whatever it was that she was going to say. He wrapped the blanket around the baby tightly and picked him up. Almost instantly he stopped crying. Claire looked at him in awe and then looked down at Aaron who already had his eyes closed.

"How did you do that?" she asked.

"I saw it on TV," he shrugged. "I dunno…I think there's a parenting book in my room…do you want it?"

"Yes," she nodded. "Please."

"Ok," he replied. "I'll be right back."

Claire walked over to the couch and sat down to wait. Sawyer was quick and when he came back he tried to hand the book to Claire, but she was already sleeping with the baby tightly in her arms. He sighed softly and picked the baby up. He walked over to the corner of the room, where there was a stack of blankets piled up. He picked up a blanket and draped it as best he could with one hand over Claire's body. He carried Aaron back to the bedroom and sat down on the bed. Kate was still sleeping. He looked down at the baby who started fussing slightly.

"Ok," Sawyer said softly. "Just don't wake up Kate. Come on…lemme see if there's a book we can-"

Before Sawyer knew it as he spoke the baby became completely quiet. He smirked slightly and then when he stopped talking the baby started fussing again.

"Ok," he repeated. "Alright, what do you want me to say kid? I can't come up with a story on the spot."

He stood up and went to the bookshelf to find a book to read. There wasn't much there that interested Sawyer, but he picked up a random book and then went back over to the bed. He started reading softly aloud and waited until the baby was sure to be sleeping. He looked down at Aaron and wondered what he would do if Kate really did get pregnant. He would hope that he and Kate could have a good relationship from then on, but he wasn't sure if that would actually happen. Kate stirred next to him and then woke up completely.

"James?" she asked.

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Is Claire alright?" she questioned. "What are you doing with Aaron?"

"Claire came over here because she couldn't get him to quiet down," he explained. "She fell asleep on the couch. She's kinda had a rough couple days so I'm letting her sleep for as long as she wants."

"Oh," she whispered.

Kate and Sawyer spent the next hour taking care of the baby. Then Claire woke up and took him back to her house. There was nothing to do at the village, so Kate and Sawyer spent the day in bed, playing stupid games, like I-spy, and I Never.

Over the next week they waited for word from the beach about whether the people on the freighter were actually the good guys. Sawyer had explained to Kate that he never wanted to go home because he couldn't stand to be around his dad anymore. But Kate wanted to go home because she wanted to say goodbye to her mom. Sawyer understood this completely and decided that he would go for Kate. But only for Kate.

That night they made love again. They were facing each other. Sawyer was staring at the freckles on Kate's nose. She smiled at him and leaned toward him. She kissed his lips softly and then smiled again.

"You are such a hot dad," she whispered. "Watching you with Aaron, is so sexy...I really hope that I got pregnant tonight."

"Dammit Kate!" he yelled. She jumped and backed away. He got out of bed and walked across the room. "Why do you always insist on ruining the most perfect moments?! We're not having a Goddamn baby Kate!"

"I'm going to Claire's," Kate said getting out of the bed.

"Oh really?" he asked. "Well have fun because in a few days when you're not pregnant, you're just gonna come right back here and crawl in to bed with me. Or better yet you'll go to Jack…he'll knock you up."

Kate reached back and smacked Sawyer as hard as she could. He put his hand against his cheek and chuckled.

"See ya later Kate."

Kate stormed out of the house and toward Claire's. She looked back a couple times to see if he was following her, but he didn't. Part of her wanted him to stop her, but the other part wanted to be left alone. When she knocked on Claire's door, the tears had already begun to stream down her face. Claire didn't even have to ask. She stepped out of the way and let Kate in the house.

**A/N: Ok…so kinda a short chapter. Sorry for killing Charlie, I hope you don't hate me…ha. I hope everyone liked the chapter anyway. Pllleaasse review!**


	17. Chapter 17

Sawyer woke up in the morning to the sight of Claire looking over him. He moaned softly and flipped over away from her. She went over to the other side and looked at him again.

"Before you come over here all pissed off, just know, that it was all Kate's fault. She left of her own free will," he told her. "So-"

"I'm not here to yell at you," she answered. "Look…she told me what happened. I think you're both way too stubborn. Just go over there an apologize for yelling at her."

"She's crazy Claire," he replied. "She's crazy. She wants a fucking kid."

"Well what about our kid?" she whispered.

"Claire, you know damn well that I love Aaron," he sighed.

"Yeah, but you've never wanted him," she mumbled. "What if I had told you I got pregnant on purpose."

"Well then I'd say you're as crazy as Kate," he answered. "Look…Claire…I'm not going to lie to you or Kate anymore, just to please you. I have never ever wanted kids. Not after what I went through as a kid, and anyone who doesn't get that can kiss my ass. But Claire…you didn't get pregnant on purpose."

"I know," she nodded. "I think Kate is a little crazy for wanting a kid right now. I'm sorry. I just hate seeing the two of you still fighting. I thought you were over it all. I thought you could be happy finally."

"Y'know something Mamacita," he mumbled. "I kinda thought we could be happy too."

"Then go talk to her," she stated.

"I will later," he replied. "Give her a chance to squirm a little."

Later that day, Sawyer was in his house when Ben and Locke burst in with Hurley following.

"What's going on?" Sawyer asked, standing up quickly.

"They're coming," Ben said mysteriously.

"Hold up, who's coming?" he asked.

"They're coming for me," Ben replied.

"Well hold on a sec, if they're coming, are they armed?" Sawyer questioned.

"I'm gonna say heavily," Locke answered for Ben.

"Claire, and Kate," Sawyer stated. "They're in Claire's house. I gotta go get them."

"There's no time!" Ben exclaimed.

"I don't care!" he exclaimed. "That is my family!"

Sawyer ran through the door and toward Claire's house. He saw Kate walking around the grass, holding Aaron. It almost looked like she was slowly heading toward Sawyer's house. Sawyer ran toward her and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Kate!"

"What?" she asked.

"Get in my house," he said.

"What?" she repeated.

"Go Kate, there's no time to argue," he sighed. "Where's Claire?"

"She's in her house taking a nap," Kate answered. "Sawyer what's going on?"

"Hold on, just get inside," he replied running toward Claire's house.

Kate walked to his house, and looked back a couple times as Sawyer ran toward Claire's house. As Sawyer ran he heard gunshots. He ducked and then looked back to make sure that Kate made it inside. She had just gotten into the house when the gunshots started. Sawyer screamed for Claire, and ran toward her house. He saw the rocket propelling toward Claire's house. The house exploded, and Sawyer's heart sunk. He ran into the house and over to Claire. She was laying in the rubble, and he quickly picked her up.

"Ok," he whispered. "You're alright."

"Sawyer," she moaned and passed out. He ran toward the house carrying Claire and kicked at the door. Kate and Hurley helped Sawyer into the house.

Sawyer was sitting in the living room with his head down. Kate walked over with the baby and sat down next to him.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"No," he mumbled. "Kate what the hell are we even doing anymore? I want to be with you so bad, but I can't-"

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I'm so sorry. I didn't-I wish that I could take it back. I'm sorry."

"Are you really sorry though?" he asked. "Kate, I told you that I would think about having a baby…just not right now, and you told me you'd wait. You told me you were fine with waiting, but you were just lying."

"No," she sniffled. "I wasn't lying-Sawyer I'm sorry."

"Me too," he said. He stood up and walked away, leaving Kate by herself. Claire walked into the living room and Sawyer quickly walked toward her.

"You ok Sweetheart?" he asked.

"I'm ok," she nodded. "I'm just a little woozy. Where's Aaron?"

"He's right over there with Kate."

"Did you talk to her?" she asked.

"Yeah," he mumbled. "A lotta good it did."

"Things will work out," she smirked.

3 hours later they were walking through the jungle. Sawyer was walking with Claire, and Kate was trailing them. When Ben came through the trees and started arguing with Locke, Sawyer sighed deeply.

"We ain't goin' no where with you. We're going back to the beach. Claire, and the kid are comin' with me. Kate too if she wants to."

"I'm not leaving your side," she answered.

They continued to walk and it started raining. Claire did her best to protect Aaron from the rain. Kate walked ahead of them this time. She was almost running. Sawyer sighed softly and looked at Claire.

"Go on," she smiled. "Me and Aaron will be just fine."

"Ok," he replied. He ran after Kate and grabbed her by the arm. She looked at him and shook her head.

"I'm cold," she sighed. "I just want to get back to the beach. I don't want to fight anymore."

"Me neither," he shook his head and leaned toward her. He kissed her lips softly and pushed her up against the tree. They both heard screaming coming from the direction that Claire was. Sawyer quickly ran toward the screaming, and Kate followed him just as quickly.

Sawyer came across Claire laying on the ground. Aaron was laying near her crying. He picked up Aaron and then looked down at Claire.

"Claire!" he exclaimed. "Claire, open your eyes."

He put Aaron down again and looked at Claire. He lifted her upper body in his arms and looked down at her.

"Claire, you can't die," he whispered. "Aaron needs his momma. Claire open your eyes."

She opened her eyes and breathed in deep. Sawyer let out a loud breath and pushed her hair off her face.

"Claire," he whispered.

"Is Kate here?" she asked.

"I'm here," Kate nodded, walked toward her.

"Kate," Claire whispered. "Both of you. Do me a favor. Just stop fighting. Love each other. Be together. Aaron needs you."

"Aaron _needs_ you Claire," Sawyer replied, knowing what Claire was getting at. "You're not going to die today Claire!"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I am. Smokey came. I put Aaron down…but it was too late. Make sure Aaron's ok Sawyer."

"Claire," he whispered. She closed her eyes and went limp in his arms. Sawyer looked up at Kate, and they both had tears in their eyes. Sawyer put Claire down and put his hands to his face. He started walking away and Kate looked after him. She noticed that Aaron was still laying on the jungle floor. She picked Aaron up and walked after Sawyer. When she reached him, he was coming back toward her, quickly.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"She is not going to die tonight!" he exclaimed. He ran through the trees and knelt back down at Claire's body. He gave her mouth to mouth and tried to revive her. Kate watched him try, but she knew that it was too late. She sniffled and held on tightly to Aaron. After Sawyer tried for a full 7 minutes, he finally gave up and picked up Claire's body to carry it back to the beach. He walked ahead of Kate and she held on to Aaron, who was now crying.

"Shh," she whispered. "It's alright. You're ok."

They got back to the beach and Sawyer went to bury Claire by himself. Kate went into Sawyer's tent and put Aaron down. She didn't leave the tent. Jack came into the tent to see what was going on. She could tell something was wrong with him, but she knew that he would want to know about Claire.

"Jack," she whispered.

"Why do you have Aaron?" he asked. "Where are Claire and Sawyer?"

"Jack," she started again. "Jack I don't-can you sit down?"

"I'm fine Kate," he answered. "I feel fine. I don't need to sit down. What is going on?"

"Um," she half choked. "We were in the jungle. And-me and Sawyer were talking. Claire was with us, but she was about 10 yards behind us. She's-we heard her scream. He tried to-Sawyer tried to save her-Jack-"

Before Kate could finish her sentence Jack was running toward the graveyard. He almost fell over before he got there, but when he saw Claire's body he stopped dead in his tracks, and then slowly walked toward her.

"Sawyer!" Jack exclaimed. "What the hell is going on?"

"You don't have to say anything Jack, I already know this is all my fault," he shook his head. "Just leave me alone."

"No!" Jack yelled. "You come back to the beach with my dead sister and you can't even look at me?!"

"No Jack," he answered. "I gotta get the hell out of here."

"How about you go and take care of your baby!" Jack exclaimed.

Sawyer sighed and walked toward his tent. He looked down at Kate who didn't know what to say to him. He sat down next to her and looked down at the baby.

"Looks like you got your wish Kate," he said coldly. "You're a mom. Congratulations."

He laid down and Kate sighed softly. She put the baby down and laid down next to him. She didn't know if he even wanted her comfort but she wrapped her arms around him and they both fell asleep.

**A/N: OK…so I know I suck, and people will probably hate me, but I hope not too much. Please review!**


	18. Chapter 18

When Sawyer woke up he could hear Aaron crying. He grumbled and sat up. Kate was sitting in the tent holding him, and trying to get him to quiet down. Sawyer sat up and took Aaron from Kate, without saying anything. Kate looked at him and put a hand on his shoulder. He shook his head, but didn't turn away from her.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"I'm fine," he mumbled.

"I don't believe you," she said. "Sawyer, what can I do?"

"You can leave me alone," he answered and stood up. He walked down the beach. People sitting on the beach didn't know what to say to him either. Kate stayed away from him for the day. She was sitting outside the tent in the airplane seats. Jack walked toward her and sat down. He was looking sicker than ever.

"Jack," she whispered. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," he answered. "Don't worry about me."

"Well I am worried," she responded. "You're sick. Something's wrong."

"I'm fine Kate," he replied. "Don't worry about me. You should be worrying about Sawyer."

"I am," she nodded. "I told him that I wanted a baby, a couple days ago. We got into this huge fight. I know it was all my fault, but we made up yesterday. And then we heard her scream-Jack, she told me and Sawyer to make up…because we had to be there for Aaron. Sawyer got mad yesterday and told me that I had the baby I wanted. But-I don't know if I can do it. Aaron is a sweet baby, but he's Claire's. I don't-I could never replace her. I want to be there for Sawyer, but he doesn't want me to be."

"Yeah he does," Jack chuckled softly and nodded. "He needs you more than ever right now Kate."

Jack started leaving and then collapsed into the sand. Kate quickly went to her knees and other people who had noticed Jack laying on the ground gathered around. Kate and Juliet helped Jack into the tent. Kate did everything she could to help Juliet, but the sight of blood made her woozy. Jack asked her to stay so she did. When Bernard and Juliet forced Kate to leave, and put Jack to sleep, Kate walked out on to the beach.

She had been glad that she had the day to think about something other than Sawyer and Claire. But she had still spent the day worrying about him, so when she saw him walking toward her she let out a deep breath.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "It should be Jack that you're worried about."

"Yeah," he sighed. "I heard about him…that's why I came up here. Kate-I think Claire's right. We need to just stop."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Remember how she said we need to just stop fighting and be together," he began. "Well I think she's right. It's not that I don't miss her, because if I could have her back, I'd do anything…but Kate-I love you. I need you."

"I love you too," she sniffled, and wrapped her arms around him and the baby. "Sawyer I'm so sorry."

"Me too," he murmured. "I was kinda mean to you last night."

"It's ok," she shook her head and rubbed her eyes. "I deserved it. And I have some good news…I'm not pregnant."

"Kate," he whispered. "We have all the time in the world to get Aaron a brother or sister. But for once in my life, I'm going to listen to Claire…she told us to be happy. She wants us to be together. It was her dying wish. So I'm not giving you up."

Kate smiled weakly and then looked at her feet. Sawyer stepped toward her and hesitated slightly before pressing his lips to hers.

"Kate," Juliet said quietly behind her. "I'm sorry to bother you. Jack's awake. He's ok."

"Thank you Juliet," Kate replied.

Kate walked back into the medical tent and looked down at Jack. Sawyer watched Kate leave and shook his head.

"Sawyer," Juliet began. "I know she's been-I know you've both hurt each other, but Kate loves you. She doesn't love Jack."

"Why are you telling me?" he asked. "I think Kate's the one who needs to be told."

"She was worried about him. Jack's appendix almost burst today. He could have died," Juliet answered. "So get over yourself."

"You don't know me," he scoffed. "And in case you didn't know…Claire…y'know the mother of Aaron. She's dead. It's all my fault, so I'm not feeling sorry for myself because of Kate."

"I'm sorry," Juliet whispered. "I mean…I knew that Claire died…but I didn't know that you blamed yourself. I don't think that Claire would want you to blame yourself-"

"You don't know her either," he answered. "So just shut up."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I should have just kept my mouth shut. I didn't-I'm gonna go check on Jack."

"You do that," he said sarcastically. He walked up to Claire's tent and found Aaron's cradle. He dragged the cradle toward his tent and put Aaron down. He started rocking him softly and then looked at the medical tent, waiting for Kate to come back. He hadn't slept well the night before and was exhausted. He leaned against the side of the tent and fell asleep while he was waiting. Kate went toward Sawyer's tent. She could hear the baby crying, and went over to the tent quickly. Sawyer didn't seem to hear the baby. She picked Aaron up and rocked him slowly.

"It's alright Aaron," she whispered. "Come on…let's let your daddy sleep."

As Kate heard her own words, she thought it sounded weird, but she was glad to say it at the same time. She carried Aaron down the beach. As she walked, she rocked Aaron slowly. His eyelids fell closed and he fell asleep. She looked down at the baby and then looked toward the graveyard. She walked toward the graves and sat down next to Claire's.

"Claire," she started. "I don't know if I can do this. Aaron is your baby…he needs a mom, but I'm not good enough."

"Yes you are," Sawyer whispered coming up behind her. She gasped loudly and then spun around. He sat down next to her and put his hands on her cheeks.

"I want to be with you," Kate began. "And Aaron…he's-he's just amazing. But he's-I just wish that Claire could be here too. I want to be with you and I want to be able to try and be a good mom for Aaron, but I know I'll never be better than Claire."

"We're going to be fine," Sawyer answered, taking the baby from her. "All three of us. It's gonna take some time Kate…but-I can't do this by myself. I need your help."

"Really?"

"Yeah," he replied. "Of course I do. I never thought I could be a father…and it's only been two weeks so I still don't know. But I can't give up on him…or us."

Kate gave him a soft smile and rested her head against his shoulder. He kept one arm holding Aaron, and the other he put around Kate.

That night they were laying in his tent, in each other's arms, but only holding each other. Sawyer leaned forward and kissed her lips softly. She kissed him back and they started making out heavily. Sawyer reached his hand up her shirt and started to unhook her bra. She backed away.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"What?" he asked leaning toward her and kissing her again. He rolled over on top of her and put his hands on her hips. She pushed him away again and shook her head.

"What are you doin'?" she said softly.

"I'm getting really hard," he whispered.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "Aaron is-"

"Sleeping," he interrupted. "And 2 weeks old…he won't know the difference. I need this Kate."

"James," she began.

"Don't," he said. "Just shut up and let me fuck you."

"James!" she exclaimed. "What's the matter with you?"

"Nothing," he responded. "I'm fine. I just need to have sex with my girlfriend. It's be too long. Don't you want to have sex with me?"

"No," she answered. "Not really."

"Well what happened to you wanting to have a baby?" he asked.

"Sawyer-" she started.

"I'll get you pregnant tonight, if you just let me have my way with you."

"James," she whispered. "I know that you're really upset about Claire, but this isn't going to make you feel better."

"Well if you really believe that, then you don't know me very well Kate," he said, grinding against her, and practically having sex with her with their clothes on. "You feel so good. I can't wait till you're naked."

He put his hands against the top of her jeans, and she rolled from underneath him.

"I am not doing this with you right now," she said. "Aaron is still right there."

"So what?!" he exclaimed. "Aaron won't even care."

"You're sick," she shook her head. She rolled away from him and sighed deeply. He put his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back toward him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I just-all I can think about right now is Claire, and the fact that she's dead because of me-"

"It is _not _your fault," she interrupted.

"Well you can say that all you want Kate, but it ain't gonna change that I still think it is my fault," he sighed. "I just need you. Please."

"What do you want me to do?" she asked.

"Fuck me," he moaned and pressed against her. "You can do anything you want. I just need to feel something other than pain."

"James," she whispered, and put her hands against his cheeks. "I'm sorry. Wait right here."

"Where are you going?"

"Well, I know that Aaron is only 2 weeks old, and I know he's sleeping, but I'm not having sex with you while he's in here."

She picked the baby up and carried him down the beach. Jack was sitting in the sand with Juliet. She knelt down next to them and took a deep breath.

"Jack," she started. "What are you doing up…you just had surgery."

"That's what I told him," Juliet chuckled.

"I feel fine," he replied. "I'm much better now. Did you need me to take Aaron?"

"Actually," she sighed. "If you wouldn't mind. Sawyer's a mess. I just-I don't know how to comfort him."

"So you want to have sex with him?" Jack asked.

"Not that it's any of your business really," Kate began. "But Sawyer asked me if I would…well I sure as hell won't with Aaron in the tent, but I don't know what's going to happen. I just know we need a couple hours to-comfort him…talk to him at the very least,"

"Kate," he chuckled. "It's fine. I don't care. I know that you want to be with him…I'll bring Aaron back when I go to bed."

Kate smiled at him and nodded. She stood up and went back to the tent. When she went inside Sawyer was laying on the bed, and still awake. She laid down next to him, and she ran her hand over his cheek. He sighed softly and shook his head.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

"You don't have to be sorry James," she shook her head. "I just-I just want to do something to help you. I've never been good at comforting people. I-I don't know what to do."

"Sit up," he whispered. She sat up and he ran his hand over her body. He laid her back down, with her back to his front. He ran his hand down her stomach and to the top of her pants. She willingly unbuttoned her pants.

"Freckles," he whispered. He flipped her toward him and got on top of her.

"Sawyer," she started. "I'm-"

"Are you wet?" he asked into her ear. "I love the way I feel when I'm inside you."

"James," she moaned. He pulled her pants down, then pushed his own down. He moved against her and they both moaned loudly.

"Since Aaron's not here, I can make you scream," he whispered.

"Sawyer," she said softly.

"Are you gonna say anything other than my name?" he asked.

"I'm wet," she responded.

"Baby we're way past that," he answered. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard Claire."

"Sawyer," Kate said looking up at him.

"I know your name," he replied. "Let me call you Claire."

"Sawyer, this isn't hot," she told him. "It's disgusting."

"Well I'm gonna be thinking about her anyway," he stated.

"Why are you doing this?" she asked.

"Because I miss her," he responded. "It's only been a day and I miss her so much."

Kate breathed in deeply and wrapped her arms around him. He put his head against her shoulder and ran his hands up her back. She rubbed his back gently and he began moving against her slowly. She backed away from him, and he leaned toward her and kissed her softly and quickly.

"I'm gonna go get Aaron," he sighed. "I know this won't happen tonight Kate. I'm sorry that I'm such a crappy person-"

"Sweetheart you are not a crappy person," she sighed. "You're hurting. You don't know what to do."

"Last night I kept having these stupid dreams," he murmured.

"About your mom?" she asked.

"Yes," he said with his teeth clenched. "I can't-I can't do this anymore Kate…I gotta get Aaron."

"Sawyer," she began. "Seriously, tell me what I can do."

"Just you bein' here is enough," he whispered touching her face softly. He leaned toward her and kissed her again. This time he didn't back away, and neither did she. He reached his hands to the top of her underwear and pulled them down. She pulled his boxers off and tossed them to the side. He flipped them over so she was on top of him.

"You're so hot," he said running his hands up her body.

"You're not so bad yourself James," she smiled. She lifted herself over him and lowered herself down. Sawyer moaned loudly in her ear and ran his hands up her back. She sat up and they both moved their hips.

"You're still so tight, and you've had more sex than anyone I know," he breathed.

"You calling me a slut?" she asked leaning down and moving against him.

"Yeah," he nodded. "But you're mine, so I don't mind."

"You're a slut too Mr. Ford," she told him.

"I know," he moaned. He flipped her over and pushed further into her. She pressed her mouth against his neck and moaned as softly as she could.

"I love you," she said quietly.

"Love you too Freckles," he replied, pulling out of her and running his hand over her back.

"Feel better?" she asked with a slight smile.

"No," he shook his head. "But it'll get better. I'll go get Aaron now."

"No need," Juliet's voice said from outside of the tent. "Are you guys decent, because Aaron is screaming and we can't get him to quiet down."

Sawyer leaned out of the tent and took the baby from her. Kate was getting redressed behind him. He put the baby down on the bed between himself and Kate. He was still crying and Sawyer looked at Kate.

"Ok," Sawyer started. "I guess I gotta start talkin' cuz it's the only way you'll shut up."

As Sawyer spoke the baby did stop crying. Kate chuckled softly, and then they both laughed when Aaron started crying as soon as Sawyer stopped talking. Sawyer started talking again, not making much sense, but just talking to keep Aaron quiet. Kate took Aaron's hand and Aaron wrapped his hand around her finger. She smiled at him and then at Sawyer.

"We are gonna talk about Claire all the time," she said. "He'll know that he had a momma who loved him so much."

"I think he's gonna want to call you mommy," he murmured. "I mean-you're basically going to be the only mom he's ever known."

"Is that going to freak you out?" she asked. "When he starts talking…he can call me Kate."

"No," he shook his head. "He's not going to call you Kate. You're going to be his mom. I mean I know you don't feel it now…but in a year, or maybe less…you'll love him like he's your own."

"I already love him Sawyer," she responded. "Because he's part of you."

Sawyer picked up the baby and gently put him in the crib, hoping that he wouldn't wake up. He laid back down. Kate looked at Sawyer and wrapped his arms around her.

**A/N: Pleaaase Review!!!**


	19. Chapter 19

Sawyer opened his eyes and saw Kate sleeping next to him. He felt incredibly uncomfortable, because her body was on his arm. But he didn't want to wake her up. Suddenly she stirred and started shaking in her sleep. He ran his hand down her back.

"Shh," he whispered. "It's just a dream Freckles."

He leaned toward her and kissed her lips gently. She leaned against him and kissed him back.

"Hmm," Kate said softly. "I'm ok."

"You were dreamin'," he whispered. "What were you dreaming?"

"It was almost like-" she began. "I dunno…it was the future. I was raising Aaron all by myself because you jumped from the helicopter taking us back to-I was all alone. Jack tried to be there for me, but he couldn't."

"That won't happen," he stated, touching her face softly. He leaned toward her again to kiss her, but then backed away when he heard someone at the tent flap.

"Kate?" Juliet's voice said. "Kate?!"

"Yeah," Kate replied, opening the tent flap.

"Jack-" she started. "He's-he thinks that the helicopter-he left in the middle of the night…right after he brought Aaron to you guys. He's gone."

"What do you mean he's gone?" Kate asked.

"He went off in the middle of the night to the jungle."

Kate quickly got up and started toward the jungle. Sawyer quickly followed her and stopped her by taking her by the arm.

"Kate don't," he whispered. "Let me go."

"What?" she asked. "No…if you're going I'm going. I can't let both of the men I care about most in my life to walk off into the jungle and get themselves killed."

"I'll be fine," he answered. "But someone has to stay and take care of Aaron."

"I'll ask Juliet!" Kate exclaimed. "Wait for me!"

She started running toward Juliet, and Sawyer ran after her.

"Kate," he whispered. "Please…please just stay here. Do me this one small favor and just stay put. I know you can take care of yourself, and I know you can take care of Aaron. Let me just-please Kate. Do it for me…for Claire."

"That's not fair," Kate shook her head. "Making me stay because of Claire? It's not fair Sawyer."

"I know," he nodded. "But please…I'll be fine, I promise."

"Ok," she sighed. "Fine…but I'm not happy about it."

"I'll be back later," he whispered and kissed her softly.

Sawyer had no idea where he was going or how he was going to find Jack, but as he walked he thought he heard voices coming from somewhere. He felt like he had been walking forever, when he came across a small clearing, and he saw Jack and Locke talking in what looked like a garden. He figured that it must be part of Dharma.

"Jack!" Sawyer exclaimed. "What are you doing?"

"Not now Sawyer," Jack replied. "Are you crazy John? What are you even talking about?"

"You can leave if you want to Jack, but you're going to regret it," Locke told him. "You're goin gto have to lie."

"About what?" Jack asked.

"About everything," he answered. "About the time you spent on the island. About everything."

"I don't care," Jack replied. "We're leaving."

Jack started walking in the opposite direction. Sawyer followed him, and was still confused about what was going on.

"Jack stop," Sawyer said. "What are you doing? Where are you going?"

"We're getting off this island Sawyer," he answered.

"Ok, but then what was Mr. Clean talking about?"

"He wants to stay," Jack sighed. "He says they're going to move the island, what ever the hell that means…but it's not going to happen, so don't worry about it. Let's just go."

Sawyer and Jack were quiet on the way to the helicopter. When they got there Sayid, and Hurley were already there. Sawyer looked at the helicopter. It was his chance to get off the island, but he wasn't going anywhere without Kate.

"I'm gonna go back to the beach and tell Kate the good news."

"We'll wait for you," Hurley said.

"No," Jack shook his head. "We're going. We'll come back for everyone else. We gotta get as many people off as possible."

"Why?" Sawyer asked. "I thought you didn't believe that Locke was going to move the island."

"I don't," he answered. "But there's still the crazy people who are gonna kill us all to take in to consideration."

"Fine," Sawyer sighed. "We'll see you later."

Sawyer walked back to the beach, it took longer than he expected, and when he got there he saw Kate and Juliet sitting together, with a bottle between them. He didn't see Aaron. He ran toward them and as he came closer, he saw that Aaron was in his crib near Kate. He sighed a breath of relief, and stopped running, but continued toward them. He could hear Kate crying. He started running again and knelt next to her.

"Kate," he whispered. "What happened?"

Kate turned toward him and wrapped her arms around him. He held her closely and then looked at Juliet for his answers. Juliet pointed into the ocean. Sawyer looked where she was pointing, and saw the freighter burning.

"Jack was on the boat," Kate sniffled.

"Well I almost was too," he mumbled. "But I wouldn't leave without you."

"Thank God," she whispered and tightened her arms around him. The baby started crying, but Kate didn't let go of Sawyer, so he didn't feel like he could let her go either.

""Kate," he whispered. "It's alright. Juliet-"

"I got 'im," Juliet nodded. She picked up the baby and he didn't stop crying. "Do you want me to take him down the beach so you two can-"

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "That's ok. Here-give him to me."

Sawyer let go of Kate and took the baby from Juliet. Kate sat down in the sand and Sawyer sat down next to her.

"It's gonna be alright Kate," he mumbled. "I don't know how…but at least we got each other right?"

"Yeah," she whispered, not entirely convincing Sawyer.

That night they were in their tent. Sawyer was reading quietly out loud to Aaron until he fell asleep. Then he looked down at Kate and noticed that she was sleeping too. He ran his hand across her forehead and laid down next to her. He watched her as she slept, and then Aaron started fussing.

"Dammit," he whispered. "Can't you keep quiet for like 3 seconds."

He sat back up and picked Aaron up. Aaron stopped immediately and seemed to have fallen back to sleep, but as soon as Sawyer tried to put him back down. Sawyer sighed heavily and leaned against the side of the plane, still holding Aaron.

"Come on buddy," he began. "Please just let me go to sleep."

"Sawyer?" Kate mumbled.

"Sorry Freckles," he said. "I'm trying to get him to shut up."

"It's ok," she whispered. "You want me to take a turn?"

"Nah," he sighed. "Go back to sleep."

Instead of staying laying down, Kate sat up next to Sawyer. She put her head against his shoulder and looked down at the baby.

"I miss her," he sighed. "I want her back."

"I know," she sniffled. "What are we gonna do?"

"I dunno," he shook his head. "I guess we just sit here with him till he can fall asleep for longer than a minute."

"Not about Aaron," she whispered. "About Claire and Jack."

"Nothing," he answered. "They're dead."

"Sawyer," she sighed.

"Kate," he started. "I didn't mean-I'm sorry. Right now I just want to worry about Aaron. Keep my mind off things."

"Yeah," she nodded. "I'm just…it's so fresh in my mind."

"Maybe they got away in time," he responded.

"They didn't," she stated. "We would have seen the helicopter take off. And why the hell did the sky turn bright…it was almost like when the sky turned purple a month ago."

"Kate, I don't know what happened," he sighed. "But until I see their bodies washing up on shore, I'm not going to believe they're dead."

"Fine," she mumbled. "Believe what you want Sawyer."

She laid back down with her back to him.

"You're gonna get pissed at me now because I'm telling you that I won't believe they're all dead?"

Aaron was sleeping again, and Sawyer put him down as slowly and carefully as he could. He laid down next to Kate and wrapped his arms around her.

"Kate-"

"You got to say goodbye to Claire," she whispered. "In a manner of speaking anyway….I didn't."

"I know," he sighed. "I just want to sleep next to you without you thinking about Jack."

"What about you, you hypocrite?" she scoffed. "Don't you recall that we were about to have sex the other night, and you were calling me Claire. I won't let you make me feel guilty because Jack's dead."

In fact Jack wasn't dead. The helicopter crashed into the water, and he wished that he had stayed on the island with Kate too. Especially when he saw that the island was suddenly gone. He had wanted to go home more than anything. But now he could only think that he was never going to see Kate or Juliet again. But he knew that he would never go back.

**A/N: OK...so I was on Netflix (which is an online DVD rental service in USA for those of you who don't know). And you can look up actors and see what movies they've been in (kinda like ), but anyway I was looking up Maggie Grace, and it said that she's going to be in Season 5 of Lost! I was so excited! haha. I don't know how entirely accurate it is, but I'm kinda thinking that she's gonna be (maybe in just one episode, but that will be cool). Anyway please review! **


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning Sawyer woke up and saw Kate looking at him. He smirked at her and leaned forward. He kissed her lips and flipped over on top of her. She smiled up at him and kissed him back. She pulled his shirt up, but didn't take it all the way off. He slipped his arm around her and kissed her down her body, although she was still fully clothed. He came back up her body and put his mouth over hers. She unbuttoned and unzipped his pants and put her hand inside his boxers.

"Kate," he moaned. "I want to fuck you."

"Me too," she sighed deeply.

"I'm going to fuck you so hard," he said into her ear. "Are you wet?"

"Yes," she whispered.

"First I gotta pee," he answered.

"Oh, well that's gonna keep me excited," she scoffed, but chuckled.

He pushed against her and kissed her deeply. He put his hand against the top of her jeans, but didn't unbutton them just yet. Kate moaned softly and he stopped kissing. He sat up and noticed that Aaron wasn't in his crib.

"Aaron's gone!" he exclaimed.

"Sawy-" she began.

"Where the hell is he Kate?!" he yelled. "Didn't you notice that he was gone, when you woke up this morning!"

"James, I gave-" she started again.

"I mean dammit Kate!" he continued yelling. "You don't even have to like my son, but the least you can do is make sure that he's here when you wake up in the morning!"

"Fuck you!" she screamed back. "I was going to tell you, if you had given me a fucking chance! When I woke up this morning Aaron was fussing a little, so I took him down the beach…mainly because I know that you need the fucking sleep. Juliet was there and she offered to take him for a couple hours today to give us a little break. So fuck you for thinking I don't care about him!"

She got up and left the tent angrily. She went down toward where Juliet was sitting on the beach. She sat down next to her. Sawyer watched the scene and then stormed off into the jungle. Kate looked at Juliet and the baby and told her what happened with Sawyer.

"I don't get it," Juliet said softly. "I mean…why didn't you just tell him about me taking Aaron, when he woke up?"

"I dunno," she sighed. "He woke up and started kissing me, and I just-I didn't-I should have, but he-"

"He overreacted," Juliet interrupted. "He definitely overreacted. I'm sure he's just stressed. I mean-Aaron's not exactly a quiet baby. And now he has no help."

"That is bullshit," Kate scoffed. "He has an entire beach of people that will help him, including me. I told him last night that I would take a turn…but he doesn't want my help."

"Kate I want you to put yourself in his shoes," Juliet began.

"So, are you a shrink now too?"

"No," she began. "Just do me a favor and pretend that it was you and Jack that had a baby. And now that Jack is gone, you're raising him without Jack there. Would you want Sawyer's help?"

"I guess not," Kate sighed. "You're right. I just-I wish there was something I could do."

"Is there anything that he can do to make you feel better about Jack?"

"No," she shook her head. "Ca-can I take the baby?"

"Of course," Juliet nodded. She handed Kate the baby and Kate looked at him.

"God, he's looking more like Sawyer every single day," Kate whispered. "He's only a little over 2 weeks old. He's never-he'll never know his mom."

"Sure he will," Juliet smirked. "You're gonna be his mom Kate."

"I don't know-" Kate started.

"I do," Juliet shook her head. "I mean come on…if you and Sawyer are gonna be together…Aaron will think, Aaron will _know_ that you are his mom."

"I'm still going to tell him about Claire," Kate answered.

"Of course you will," Juliet said. "Sawyer would never let Aaron grow up without knowing about Claire."

Aaron made a noise, and Kate looked down at him and couldn't help but to smile. She bounced him gently and kissed his hand.

Sawyer walked back onto the beach and saw Kate and Juliet talking. When he saw Kate holding the baby and looking down at him smiling, he didn't know what to think. Part of him was still pissed off at her, and the other part thought she was so natural holding the baby, that he would watch it forever. He decided instead of letting her continue to play mommy, he would end it now. Sawyer walked toward them and knelt in front of Kate. He didn't look at her but instead just looked at the baby.

"Give me my kid," he said. Kate handed him the baby, and tried to catch his eye, but he walked quickly back down the beach toward his tent. He sat down on the airplane seats outside the tent and continued to look at the baby. Kate closed her eyes and shook her head.

"Lemme go talk to him," Juliet said.

"No," Kate answered. "I can go. I should go."

She walked toward Sawyer and sat down next to him. He didn't move, but he didn't look at her either. She still tried to catch Sawyer's eye, but couldn't. She looked down at Aaron and put her hand in his. She hesitated several times before she took a deep breath.

"I'll never know," she began. "I'll never know how it feels James…you lost Claire, and I lost Jack, but the baby…I'll never know how you feel, so I'm not going to pretend that I do. I made a mistake. But he was fine. I gave him to Juliet because she wanted to help. I didn't think you'd-"

"You didn't think I could worry about anyone but myself?" he interrupted. "Well here's some news for you…even though I'm a heartless bastard, and I could never be a dad…this baby is the only thing I have left to live for. And I love him."

"I never said that you were heartless," she sighed. "Don't put words in my mouth."

"So why did you just give the baby to Juliet?" he asked. "You all the sudden trust her? Because if memory serves you don't exactly like her."

"I didn't-I gave her Aaron, because she offered, and because we're both tired," she replied. "It was just because I-"

"Because you want to fuck me?" he asked.

"No!" she exclaimed. "Sawyer, when I woke up-"

"You already told me, Juliet offered to take him," he interrupted. "But the next time you let someone else take my kid…you better the fuck wake me up and tell me. Or at least tell me when I do wake up."

"I was going to," she answered. "But I forgot-"

"You forgot?" he asked. "You forgot where my kid was? Nice mom you'll make."

"Sawyer," she sniffled. "No, that's not what I meant. I just meant, you kissed me and I just-you didn't really give me a chance to tell you where Aaron was, and then when you started freaking out I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't let me get a sentence in."

"So it's my fault?" he asked.

"No. I'm sorry," she breathed. "I'm not…I'm sorry Sawyer. But just stop making me into the bad guy. I love you."

"Me too," he murmured. "I'm not-I want to be with you Kate, but maybe…maybe we're just can't make it work. Sooner or later we're gonna fall apart."

"No," she let out a soft sob. "You don't believe that. Come on-we're the same-we have the same fucked up past. Come on Sawyer, you really don't believe that. Besides…we haven't even tried to make it work Sawyer. You don't _know_ that it will fall apart."

"Yes I do," he nodded. "I love you so much Kate. I don't think you know how much…but we just keep hurting each other."

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "Please don't do this. Don't. Don't shut me out now. Not now, when I need you."

"You need me?" he scoffed.

"Yes," she answered. "Sawyer I need you."

"For what?" he asked.

"To be with you," she whispered. "I know we've fought, but-I need you to hold me at night. I know it probably sounds really selfish, but I need to sleep next to you or it won't feel right."

"I don't want to keep trying," he sighed.

"No!" she screamed. "Sawyer, stop it."

"I'll be right back," he answered. "Do you think you can calm down and hold Aaron for 3 seconds?"

"Ok," she breathed. He handed her the baby, and rocked him softly. Aaron was back to crying fairly hard. Kate was crying too, and wiped her tears as she rocked him.

Sawyer went into his tent and came back with a bottle of whiskey. She looked at him and watched as he started drinking the bottle.

"Give him to me," he said.

"Why?" she half sobbed.

"Because he's my kid," he replied.

"No," she shook her head and breathed in deep. She handed him the baby and looked at him. "Why are you doing this Sawyer?"

"You said you don't understand…and you're right. You don't understand," he sighed. "I'm done Kate."

"Fine," she sobbed. "Goodbye."

She walked away from him and went to Jack's tent. He stood up too and picked up the bottle of whiskey. He walked down the beach past everyone. Juliet tried to stop him and apologize but he kept walking. He would have stayed away from camp the entire day, but he went back to make food for Aaron. He had no clue on what he was supposed to give to Aaron for food. He found some dry milk, and figured that would be better than nothing. When he walked up the beach he saw Kate sleeping in Jack's tent. Her face was covered with tears and sand. He sighed to himself, and fed Aaron, then he noticed that Juliet was sitting by herself staring into the ocean. He finished feeding Aaron, and then walked over to Juliet.

"Is everything ok?" Juliet asked. "You can cut the tension between the two of you with a plastic fork…get it, y'know plastic fork, cuz that's all we have here-never mind…are you ok?"

"Yeah," he mumbled. "I just needed to clear my head a little. It seems like me and Kate can never catch a break."

"Maybe it's because you spend too much time accusing each other, rather than listening to each other," Juliet answered. "I mean Kate, told me that she tried telling you that I took Aaron…which by the way I'm sorry…I guess I shoulda woken you up. I just figured that since Kate was the one taking care of him…I mean you're kinda parenting him together."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I know…it's just weird y'know. It's only been 2 days…well a little longer. Aaron is my baby…he's gonna be 3 weeks tomorrow, and I haven't the faintest idea what I'm doing. I never even had any little cousins around. It was just me and dad, till he met Kate's mom. I just-I wish I could do something to make it all go away."

"I know something that might help. Go talk to her," Juliet whispered. "I know that she doesn't want the two of you to be over…and the way that you talk about her, neither do you.

"Can you take care of Aaron for a sec?" he asked.

"Sure," she nodded.

"Thanks," he whispered. "It actually might be longer than a second."

"It's alright," she chuckled. "He's a sweet baby, take your time."

"In what universe is he a sweet baby?" he said, forcing a smile, and walking backwards, toward the tent, so he was still facing Juliet. Then he turned back around and headed toward Jack's tent. He sat down next to her. She had her head against her knees and was crying.

"Ok," he sighed. "Can you stop that?"

"Stop what?" she breathed, and continued to sob.

"The crying," he answered.

"I feel like I'm losing you," she sniffled. "You just-you basically just dumped me, and I can't handle it. I want us so badly."

"I know," he sighed. "I want us too Kate, I just-I dunno if we can make it."

"We can make it if we try," she answered, looking up at him. "Every time we have a little fight, I feel like it's the end of the world. Why is that?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I guess we're both just too hot headed."

"I don't want to lose you," she shook her head. "I want to be with you. I want you to be here for me."

"You want to be crying all the time?" he asked.

"Then stop fucking making me cry!" she screamed.

"I betcha I can make you scream," he whispered softly. He grabbed her quickly, and hard, not violently. He pushed her down and straddled her. She breathed in sharply and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed her back and quickly pulled her pants all the way off. He kissed her again and brushed his hands over her face, to wipe the tears away. He unzipped his own pants and rubbed against her.

"Sawyer," she breathed. "No."

"No?" he asked. "Come on…why not?"

"Because we're in Jack's tent," she responded.

He chuckled softly and reached his hand into her underwear. She bent her head back and breathed deeply.

"No," she whispered. He pushed two fingers into her and she moaned loudly.

"You keep sayin' 'no' Freckles, but I don't think you mean it…you're not pushing me away."

"I know," she moaned. As he moved his fingers she started moaning louder. He moved his head down toward her neck and kissed and licked her neck. She kissed him back, and pushed his hand away.

"Do you want me to stop?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "I want you to make me scream. Right here and right now…fuck me Sawyer."

He groaned loudly into her ear, and pulled her underwear off. He pushed his pants down and teased her before pushing into her in one hard thrust. She screamed loudly and he covered her mouth with his.

"Shh," he whispered. "I thought you didn't want Aaron to hear us, and if you scream like that the whole beach will."

"Sawyer," she moaned. He ran his hands over her and felt her shiver below him.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to walk around with a constant hard on?" he asked, pushing against her and making both of them come. Kate chuckled and he rolled off of her.

"So does this mean that we're not breaking up?" she whispered. He pulled her closer and kissed her on the neck, without saying anything else.

**A/N: I hope you all liked…plllleaaaaaaaaaase review.**


	21. Chapter 21

_Sawyer was sitting in the sand watching Kate and Aaron in the water. Aaron was about 4 and laughing as the waves hit them. The water was up to Kate's legs, and at Aaron's chest._

_"Mommy look!" he exclaimed pointing to something in the water._

_Sawyer smirked at the scene, and went back to reading his book. He felt someone come and sit down next to him._

_"You're in my light Blondie," he stated._

_"Sorry," she said._

_"Claire," he sighed, putting his book down. "I dunno if I can do this."_

_"In case you haven't noticed you are doing this," Claire smiled. "You're doing a great job." _

_"I just feel like you would do a better job," he sighed. "I just-he's-"_

_"Sawyer he's amazing, and that's all because of you," Claire answered. "And Kate. Speaking of Kate, how do you think she is feeling in all this. You have to assure her that she's a great mom for our baby. She's doing the best she can, and so are you. I couldn't ask for more for my son. Plus look at how happy he is."_

_Sawyer looked back to where Kate and Aaron were playing and he was laughing loudly, as Kate fell over on purpose into the water. She sat up and hugged Aaron tightly bringing him into the water with her. Kate was laughing and smiling too._

_"It's because of you guys that he's so happy and amazing Sawyer," she smirked._

Sawyer opened his eyes and sighed deeply. It hadn't been 4 years…it had actually only been 3 months. He and Kate did their best, but he didn't know whether or not he was doing a good enough job with Aaron. He loved watching Kate taking care of Aaron, but it made him feel extremely guilty because he was feeling like he and Kate were playing house, while Aaron's real mom was six feet under. He turned over toward her. Her back was to him, but he could hear her breathing irregularly. He wrinkled his eyebrows and leaned over her to see what she was doing. She had her eyes closed, and her hand down her pajama pants. He looked at her and let out a soft laugh. Even though it was a quiet laugh, he knew that it was loud enough for her to hear it, but her eyes didn't open.

"James," she moaned softly, and almost slurring her words.

"Kate?" he asked out loud. She opened her eyes and moaned softly, beginning to wake up. She flipped over so they were facing each other. She noticed her hand down her pants and quickly took it out of her pants and looked at him.

"Morning," she whispered

"Were you sleepin'?"

"Yeah," she yawned, and stretched.

"Really?" he asked. "Cuz you were moaning and groaning and saying my name. It seemed like you were awake. Did you come?"

"It's kinda embarrassing," she answered turning slightly pink. He inched toward her and put his mouth close to hers.

"Well it's not really your fault," he smirked. "You can't help what you dream. And are you gonna answer my question? Did you come?"

Their lips were so close that when he spoke they touched ever so lightly. She leaned up and put her mouth against his ear.

"Not yet," she smiled. He leaned toward her and started kissing her. She rolled her hips toward him, enticing him to touch her. He smirked at her and rolled over on top of her. He put his hand down the front of her pants, and almost touched her when the baby started crying. He sighed deeply and sat up. He picked the baby up out of the crib. Kate sat up and looked down at him. It had been 3 months, and Aaron had gotten used to Kate taking care of him too, but Kate sometimes felt like Aaron preferred Sawyer. Aaron was crying quite hard, and as Sawyer tried to comfort him, it didn't seem to work.

"Sorry Freckles," he whispered. "Maybe we can play later."

"Hey," she shrugged. "It ain't your fault. Here…let me try. I think he's finally liking it when I hold him."

"Kate, I wanted to tell you something," he whispered, handing her the baby. She took the baby and then brought her attention to Sawyer, even though the baby continued to cry. She smiled and leaned into his hand.

"Yeah," she whispered.

"You're doing a great job Kate," he said softly.

"A great job with what?" she asked, and chuckled.

"Aaron," he stated. "It's been 3 months, of just you, me and Aaron. I just wanted to let you know that you're doing a good job."

"You are too," she whispered. She leaned toward him and kissed his lips softly. "I love you so much."

"I love you too Freckles," he answered. "And I don't need any ring or wedding to prove it."

"You don't want to get married?" she asked. "Even if we were off the island?"

"Oh," he shrugged. "I dunno. What's the point? We're already a family."

She looked down at Aaron who continued to scream and cry.

"Let's take him down the beach," Kate said over Aaron's crying. "Maybe if we walk with him, he'll calm down."

Sawyer nodded, and they both stood up and started walking down the beach. As they walked Aaron stopped crying. Kate smiled at Sawyer and he smiled back.

"I love watching you with him," he whispered.

"Why?" she chuckled.

"Because you're a great mom," he replied. "You make me want to have more babies with you."

"But I'm not his mom," she sighed.

"Kate," he said, touching her face. "You're as much his mom as Claire is-"

"No I'm not!" she exclaimed. "How can you even say that?"

"Kate," he whispered. "When someone adopts a baby, they become their parents. No one says to those people that they aren't really their mom and dad. You've been here with Aaron since day one. And even if Claire was still alive, you would still be like a second mom for him."

"Yeah," she whispered. "Maybe you're right…but it just feels weird to have you saying that…Sawyer-"

"Kate, you're doing great-" he started.

"Sawyer take the baby," she said quickly.

"Why?" he asked. "You're doing-"

"Take him!" she exclaimed. He quickly took the baby from her and Kate collapsed on the sand.

**A/N: I hope you enjoyed my chapter! As always reviews are awesome.**


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N: So everything in italics is a flashback.**

"Kate!" Sawyer exclaimed. He quickly knelt down next to her and put the baby in the sand. He started screaming when Sawyer let go of him. "Hold on buddy. Kate! Kate, open your eyes. Come on open your goddamn eyes! Now!

_"Now!" Kate moaned, waiting for Sawyer to enter her._

_"Not yet," he said softly. She breathed in deep and let out a sharp moan. _

_"Yes," she whispered. "I want you inside me. I want you to fuck me Sawyer. Fuck me."_

_He smirked at her and pushed into her. She bent her head back and closed her eyes tightly. She ran her hand down the back of his neck and opened her eyes._

_"You're so fucking sexy," she said flipping them over. She ran her hands up his arms. _

_"I'm sexy?" he asked. He flipped them back over and ran his hand down her body. He kissed her cheek, and moved down her neck. "I love every single inch of you. Especially when you're naked."_

Kate laid there motionless and without opening her eyes. Sawyer took a deep breath and noticed that there were people starting to gather around them.

"What happened?" Juliet asked, running toward them.

"I don't know," he shook his head. Aaron continued to scream. "I don't know. I was-we were walking, and she told me to take him, and she just collapsed."

"Ok," Juliet sighed. "Kate, Kate, honey open your eyes. Just wake up for me ok?"

Juliet's words weren't waking her up either.

"Alright," Juliet breathed deeply. "Pick her up, and carry her to the medical tent."

"Ok," Sawyer said, sounding slightly distracted. "Can you-can someone take Aaron?"

A small blonde girl nodded and smiled weakly. She went over to Aaron and picked him up. Aaron continued to cry, but as the girl started swaying slightly, he began to calm down. Sawyer quickly ran toward the medical tent, bringing Kate with him. He put her down, but stayed right next to her and took her hand in his. Juliet brought a bottle of water over to Sawyer and handed it to him.

"I'm fine," he sighed.

"It's not for you," she answered, continuing to look around the tent almost absentmindedly.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm trying to figure out what to do," she sighed. "I'm not really a real doctor."

"Didn't you remove Jack's appendix?" he asked.

"Yeah," she responded. "I am a doctor, but I'm a fertility specialist, I don't know everything."

"Great," he mumbled. "Then our only real doctor is gone."

"Just try and give her some water while I try to figure out what could cause her to lose consciousness randomly."

Sawyer tipped the bottle slowly and tried to get Kate sip some of the water, but since she was still passed out, it didn't do anything.

"Dammit Kate open your fucking eyes!" he screamed. He huffed a deep breath and then leaned over her and kissed her. He hoped that kissing her would wake her up, but it didn't. "Shit. Juliet you can't let her die."

"Ok," Juliet said softly. "Um…let me just examine her."

"There's a thought," Sawyer scoffed.

"Shut up and let me do my job, or you can leave," she answered. Sawyer stopped talking and sat there while Juliet started checking Kate's pulse, and different parts of her body.

"I know this is kinda personal but do you know the last time Kate had her period?" Juliet asked.

_"I'm so fucking horny," Kate said, climbing on top of Sawyer. "But I can't fuck you right now."_

_"Why not?" he asked._

_"Because I just had my period," she answered. "But I want to suck your dick."_

_"Holy shit," he moaned. She ran her hands down his body and quickly unbuckled his pants._

_"Can you imagine my mouth all over you?" she asked softly. "I'm so fucking wet right now, I can imagine you inside of me. And I'm so wet that you can hear the sound of your cock sliding in and out of me."_

_"What the fuck," he mumbled and shook his head. He flipped over and pulled her pants down. "I don't give a fuck Kate. I need to come."_

_"Come inside of me," she moaned. "Come in my mouth."_

_She pushed him off of her and put her mouth over him. He came quickly and she chuckled and moved up his body._

"She's not pregnant," he replied.

"I just want to know when the last time she had her period," she answered.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I guess last month, but-"

"I need to bring her to the medical hatch right now," she replied.

"What the hell are you talking about? What's going on?" he asked.

"I don't know," she sighed. "But I think-I think she's having a miscarriage."

"And you pass out from that?" he questioned.

"You can, if it's been a while," she answered. "Usually-usually if a woman has a miscarriage, it will happen all on it's own, but there are cases where it doesn't, and it can be detrimental to the woman's health."

"Ok," he sighed. "So what do I do?"

"Well I sure as hell can't carry her all the way to the medical hatch," she responded.

Sawyer picked her up and they started into the jungle. As they walked Sawyer felt Kate move. He quickly looked down and heard her moaning.

"Sawyer," Kate whispered.

"I gotcha Freckles," he said. "We're gonna figure out what's wrong."

"Sawyer the baby," she groaned.

"So you are pregnant?" he asked. "Were you gonna tell me."

"Sawyer I don't-" Juliet started.

"Aaron," Kate interrupted. "I'm not pregnant, what are you talking about?"

_He ran his hands down her bare chest ._

_"Sawyer," she whispered. "Sawyer I'm not pregnant."_

_"Yeah I know," he replied. "Let's not try and get you pregnant."_

_"I want you to come inside of me tonight," she moaned, touching him softly. "I won't get pregnant, but I want to feel you fill me up."_

_"I'm not gonna get you pregnant," Sawyer scoffed. "I'm so fucking sick of all this Kate."_

_Sawyer got up and left the tent. She followed him without bothering to get dressed. It was 4:00 in the morning, and the entire beach was dead asleep. She shoved him over before he could get too far. He landed on the airplane seats outside of the tent. He scrambled up quickly and knocked her down, and climbed on top of her._

_"What are you doing?" she asked, pushing him away. He kissed her softly and down her body. She panted softly and he started moving over her. She moaned softly. He was in his boxers, and didn't bother pulling them off. Instead he unzipped her jeans and pushed into her. Having the small amount of clothing between them, made them both excited. Also doing it on the beach, where anyone could wake up and see them. He came into her and then they both went back into the tent._

They got to the hatch and Sawyer put Kate down. Juliet started examining Kate again. Sawyer quickly took Kate's hand and started running his other hand over her forehead.

"Sawyer what's going on?" she whispered. "I felt really dizzy and sick. Is Aaron ok?"

"Whoa," he chuckled softly. "Slow down. Aaron's fine. I don't know what's wrong with you sweetheart."

"I don't want to die," Kate half sobbed.

"Oh," Sawyer sighed. "Baby you're not gonna die. I promise you that. Juliet is gonna take really good care of you."

"I'm sorry," Juliet whispered. "Kate, you were pregnant."

"No I wasn't!" Kate exclaimed. "I think I would know whether or not I'm pregnant, and I'm not fucking pregnant."

"Well, but you were," Juliet stated.

"No I fucking wasn't!" Kate screamed and then grabbed her stomach and moaned softly. "Sawyer, why is she lying? I'm not pregnant."

"Juliet what the fuck are you talking about?" Sawyer asked.

"Kate it looks like you were about a month and a half," Juliet whispered. "Not long enough to notice, but definitely enough to make you sick."

"No," Kate sobbed. "I didn't-I was pregnant?"

"Yeah," Juliet nodded. "I'm so sorry Kate."

"I feel sick," Kate whispered. Before Juliet or Sawyer could move or say another word Kate turned her head and threw up on the floor.

"Kate," Juliet began. "I know that this is a lot, but I have to get the embryo out of you."

"W-what?" she asked. "What the do you mean?"

"You're only gonna get worse."

_Kate was running her hand up and down her own body. She closed her eyes and pulled her underwear off. Sawyer moved toward her, but she shoved him away._

_"You watch me," she almost demanded. "Then I'll watch you."_

_He smiled widely and she leaned forward and kissed him deeply._

"I love your smile," she said, sticking one of her fingers into her. He watched her and then looked back at her face. She closed her eyes and ran her hand over her breasts. She was still wearing a shirt, but it was a white shirt, that was completely see through and she wasn't wearing a bra. She pushed another finger into her and moaned softly.

"_Do you like your fingers Freckles?" he asked._

"_I like yours better," she replied. Aaron started crying and Sawyer shook his head and picked him up. Kate got redressed and then looked at Sawyer holding the baby._

They made their way back to the beach. Sawyer carried Kate, and she pressed her face against his neck. A few times he heard her sobbing softly.

"Kate, you're going to feel sick for a couple days," Juliet said, when they got back to the beach.

"I don't care," she mumbled. "Sawyer will you put me down?"

He set her down and she went into their tent to lay down.

"Thanks," Sawyer sighed. "Y'know. For not letting her die."

"I wouldn't have let that happen Sawyer," she shook her head.

"I know," he whispered. "I was just-I was-I was…so…scared."

"It's ok to admit that Sawyer," she chuckled. "Just shows that you're human."

Sawyer walked toward his tent, and was almost there when the small blonde lady walked over to him, holding Aaron.

"I think he missed you," she chuckled.

"Oh," he whispered. "Hey, thanks…uh-"

"Suzanna," she said. "He was good for the most part."

"You don't gotta lie," he smiled.

"Ok, fine, he sucked," she chuckled. "He didn't shut up."

"Now that sounds more like my son," he sighed and smiled. "I gotta get-Kate-"

"Is she alright?" Suzanna asked.

"Yeah," he whispered. "She'll be fine."

"I'm glad."

Sawyer walked back to the tent and saw Kate sitting up sobbing. He put Aaron down in his crib, and sat down next to Kate.

"I thought you didn't know you were pregnant Kate," he whispered.

"I-" she started. "Sawyer I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault," he shook his head. "But I wish that you would have told me."

"I-" she began. "Sawyer I really fucked up. I fucked up so bad."

"Kate what the hell are you talking about."

She sniffled and started going through the sand, where they hid all the stuff underneath them. She found the empty bottle of whiskey and handed it to him.

"You drank the rest of it?" he asked. "When? Last night?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I didn't know I was pregnant. I just-I started drinking and at first I started thinking about all the fucked up stuff in my life. My mom, my dad, my step-dad…not your dad, but my first step dad Wayne, and Jack. And so then I started drinking more and more to numb the pain."

"Wait, slow down…Wayne."

"Another time Sawyer," she shook her head. "I can't talk about him right now, so another time…please."

"Come here," he whispered. He pulled her into a hug and laid down.

**A/N: Please Review!**


	23. Chapter 23

Sawyer was stroking Kate's hair slowly. She was sleeping but moving against him. She was moaning softly. He almost thought that it was another sex dream, but then she started shaking slightly. He backed away only enough to watch her.

"No," she whispered. "No."

"Shh," Sawyer stroked her hair again and hugged her tighter.

"No!" she screamed and woke up.

"Hey," he said quietly. "Hey, you're ok. What happened?"

"Just a stupid dream," she sniffled and turned away from him.

"Freckles," he whispered. He put his hands on her shoulders and started to turn her back toward him. "Freckles, it's alright-"

"It was just a dream!" she yelled. Sawyer backed away, and Aaron started crying. Sawyer grumbled softly under his breath, and sat up. He picked the baby up and looked down at him.

"It's ok," Sawyer said softly. "Your momma's just a little crazy."

"I'm not his mother!" she exclaimed and started leaving the tent.

"Dammit," Sawyer scoffed. "Kate, stop-"

It was too late, and Kate was already half way down the beach. Sawyer sighed deeply, but didn't follow her. He calmed Aaron back down and then laid down to go asleep.

Kate walked all the way down the beach, and realized that Sawyer wasn't following her. She knew that she had overreacted. She walked back to the tent and laid down next to Sawyer. He was still awake staring at the ceiling of the tent.

"I'm sorry," she sighed.

"You're telling me it was just a dream Kate," he began. "But something tells me it was a little more than that."

"A memory," she whispered. "But I don't want to talk about it. I can't talk about it Sawyer. No yet."

"Why not?" he asked. "Kate I know everything about you-"

"Not this," she interrupted. "You know about the fact that I'm a slut, and you know about my life since you've been living with me-I mean since our parents got married…but you don't know this. I'm so fucking horny right now. You may not know me, but you know how to make me wet. Sawyer, fuck me. Fuck me."

"Kate," he whispered. "We can't tonight."

"Yes we can," she said softly. "I feel fine. And I just want to feel better."

He leaned toward her and kissed her softly. She quickly rolled over on top of him and pushed against him.

"Whoa," he whispered. "Freckles, you've got the wrong idea."

He rolled them back over and ran his hand over her face. He kissed her again gently, and she unbuttoned his pants and pulled him toward her.

"I need this," she moaned. "Fuck me Sawyer."

"No," he answered.

"Then stop teasing me with kisses," she said shoving him away. She rolled over and moved out of her pants. He wrinkled his forehead and looked at her back. She moaned softly and bent her head back in pleasure.

"Kate-" Sawyer started. She moaned loudly and pushed him away from her.

"Don't talk," she moaned.

"Freckles, would you stop it," he said, pulling her back toward him. "Just-what the hell is wrong with you? Kate, sweetheart, what happened?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I'm just horny. I want to have sex with you. I want to come. So if you won't help me, then I'll just do it myself."

"Kate, do you really think that's a good idea-" he started.

"Yes," she responded. "It's an awesome idea. And besides…you heard Juliet…I was only 5 weeks pregnant. It was hardly the size of-Sawyer I just-please. I want to have sex. So what will it be…me by myself, or you."

He hesitated and then kissed her softly and slowly. She deepened the kiss and quickly sucked on his tongue. He softened the kiss.

"Kate," he whispered. "Slow down."

"I told you," she sighed deeply. "I'm horny."

"Ok," he began. "Just hold on."

She smiled weakly and then kissed him slowly. He rolled over on top of her and kissed her down her body and then back up.

"I love you, Princess," he whispered and looked down at her.

"What the fuck did you just call me?!" she exclaimed and quickly shoved him off of her.

"What?" he said. "Freckles, I don't know what-Kate, what happened to you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she shook her head. "Just don't fucking ever call me Princess."

"Ok," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I won't…but what the hell is wrong with you? I didn't even do anything. There's always some shit with you Kate. What is wrong?"

"No," she shook her head. "I can't-"

"Yes you can," he whispered. "Sweetheart, does this have anything to do with Wayne?"

"He used to call me Princess," she said softly.

"What the hell did he do to you?" he whispered.

"When I was 14-I don't want to do this anymore," she shook her head.

"That's not fair," he responded. "I told you about hiding in my closet when Sawyer killed my mom and himself. What happened to you?"

The baby started crying, and Sawyer groaned loudly. He sat up and picked the baby up. Kate sighed and closed her eyes.

"Kate," he started. "Don't do this. You know that I have to take care of Aaron."

"I know," she nodded. "I'm not mad, but I just can't talk about this right now."

"Fine," he sighed. "Just let me know when you do."

It took Sawyer almost an hour to get Aaron to go back to sleep. He knew that Kate was asleep because he could hear her breathing. Sawyer laid back down and put his hand on her back. Kate stayed asleep, and Sawyer fell asleep.

Kate woke up in the middle of the night and quickly flung her arms around Sawyer. He woke up and groaned loudly.

"Whatsgoingon?" he mumbled. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," she whispered.

"I suppose you don't want to talk about it," he said softly, stroking her hair.

"When my mom first started dating Wayne…" she sighed. "He used to sneak in to my room long after my mom was sleeping."

"Kate-" he started.

"Do you want to hear this or not?" she asked. "Just let me talk, or I'll never get this out. He would sneak in to my room and climb into bed with me."

"Did he touch you?" he whispered.

"I told you, you gotta let me finish or I never will," she stated.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

_Flashback_

_Kate was 12 when Wayne and Diane started dating. Kate didn't like him, there was something really creepy about him, he was always looking at her funny. She usually kept her mouth shut and would go up in her room to get away from them. She would play her music as loud as she could without her mom yelling at her so that she didn't have to hear them having sex._

_Diane and Wayne only dated for 4 months before they got married and Wayne was a permanent part of Kate's life. She hated her mom for marrying him, and begged her not to, but Diane insisted that she was in love with him, and would marry him whether Kate liked it or not._

_Wayne left Kate alone for the most part, at first. Usually just looking at her, but sometimes stroking her hair, and acting like she was his. When Kate got to 8th grade she started developing, and Wayne would make small comments, that were mostly harmless, but nonetheless made Kate's skin crawl. He'd talk about how she was becoming a woman. He would comment about how her breasts got bigger every day. Which was true, but still made Kate sick. The day Kate turned 14 was when she knew something was wrong with Wayne. _

_It was her 14th birthday. She had gone to the roller-rink with all her friends for a party. She had worn a skirt that her mom said was much too short, but she didn't change. Her mom was there in the beginning but then left. Kate was used to being a loner, and didn't really care, but she wished that her mom cared more about her than her stupid husband. Kate often complained about Wayne to her friends, but none of them understood. They all thought he was cool. Except her best friend Beth. Beth thought he was a creep too._

_"I gotta get home," Kate said, at the end of her birthday party._

_"Do you want me to come and spend the night?" Beth asked. "Maybe if I'm there Wayne won't bug you."_

_"Maybe if you're there he'll be worse," Kate shrugged. "It's ok. I know you have a curfew. Your parents would be pissed if they even found out that my mom left half way through. I'll see you on Monday at school."_

_"Ok," Beth smirked. "Maybe we can hang out tomorrow, y'know go to the mall. That new guy is always hanging out there."_

_"Ew...Sawyer?" she asked._

_"Kate, come on, he's hot…and it's so totally obvious that he thinks your hot too," she answered._

_"He's in high school," Kate argued._

_"So?" Beth chuckled. "You'll be in high school next year."_

_"And he'll be a senior. Plus, he's always got girls all over him. Shit, what time is it?"_

_"10 minutes to 10:00," she replied, looking at her watch._

_"Shit, I only got 10 minutes to get home."_

_Kate grabbed her roller skates and ran all the way home. When she got there she realized it would have probably been faster if she had used the skates, but she tossed them down on the front yard and ran up the steps. When she came through the door she could hear moaning. She quickly put her hands over her ears and ran up to her bedroom. She flopped down on the bed and covered her head with a pillow. At some point she fell asleep, but she woke up when she heard her door open._

_"Happy birthday Princess," Wayne said._

_"Ugh, don't call me that," Kate scoffed._

_"You're supposed to say thank you," he replied, coming toward her bed and sitting down._

_"Thank you, now leave," she answered._

_"No," he said. "This is my house."_

_"It's not your house!" Kate exclaimed. "This is my father's house."_

_"Well in case you forgot, your father is dead," he responded cruelly. "He died in that war…remember Katie? He died, because he didn't want to live for you or your slut of a mom."_

_"Shut up!" Kate screamed, and lunged at him. Wayne quickly over took her and climbed on top of her._

_"Y'know," he began. "I'm really sick of this Katherine. You mind me and your momma."_

_"And let you touch me and rape me," she trembled._

_"I'm not gonna rape you Kate," he chuckled. He rolled off of her, but kept his arms tightly around her, with her back to him. "You're becoming a woman, and lookin' more like your momma every day."_

_"I look like my dad," she answered._

_"Lemme look at you," he whispered, and flipped her toward him. She trembled again and closed her eyes. He started lifting her shirt up over her head, and she quickly put it back down._

_"Don't," she whispered._

_"Why not?" he asked._

_"Because," she answered simply._

_"Have you ever been kissed?" he asked softly._

_"Y-yes," she lied. _

_"Have you ever let a boy touch you?" he questioned. "Are you a slut, just like your mother?"_

_"Please don't," she shook her head and tears began to stream down her face. Wayne quickly got out of the bed and left her room. Kate put her head in her pillow and screamed as loudly as she could, and then sobbed herself to sleep. _

_He snuck in to her room nearly every night. Most of the time just talking, and holding her tightly so she couldn't get away, but she always felt dirty afterwards._

_One night Kate was laying in bed, and waiting for Wayne, who came at nearly the same time every night. She looked at the clock and watched the minutes tick away. As midnight approached Kate got more and more nervous. It was something that Wayne had said to her earlier. He told her that he had something special for her. Her door creaked open and she looked toward it. Wayne walked toward her and smirked._

_"Wayne whatever you want, no," Kate shook her head. "Because if you touch me I'll tell my mom…and she'll kill you."_

_"You won't tell your mom," he chuckled. "Because she'd never believe you, and then you'd just embarrass yourself. Do you have a boyfriend Kate?"_

_Kate did have a boyfriend, if you could call it that . They had only kissed a couple times and never even went anywhere because they were still only in 8th grade and neither of them could drive. She nodded slowly and he got into bed next to her._

_"How does he make you feel?" Wayne asked._

_"W-what do you mean?" she whispered._

_"Does he make you feel good?" he questioned._

"What?" she asked.

_"Are you stupid?!" he exclaimed softly._

_"I don't understand what you're asking me," she said simply. "What do you mean? He treats me good if that's what you mean. He's nice to me. I like him."_

_"Would you let him fuck you?" he whispered, leaning closer, and making her very uncomfortable._

_"N-no," Kate shook her head._

_"Why not?" he asked. "That's what girls and boys do Kate. When two people like each other they have sex, like me and your mom."_

_"Stop," she sniffled._

_"It feels so good Princess."_

_He pulled her pants down and Kate shook her head._

_"Don't," she whispered. "Don't Wayne. I'm a virgin."_

_"Are you afraid it will hurt?" he asked._

_"I don't want to," she shook her head._

_"Everybody does," he responded. "Every person I know has sex, and every person I know likes it. You would have to be stupid not to like it."_

_"I want to someday," she replied. "But not with you."_

_"Come on," he whispered. "Your mom will never know."_

_"Don't!" she yelled, but he covered her mouth quickly with his hand and held her tightly. He pulled her underwear off and she shook her head and struggled against him. He didn't wait before pushing down on her. She screamed again, but no sound would come out. He held his hand over her mouth the entire time, but it didn't matter because each time she tried to scream it was as if someone had taken her voice . He got off of her and smirked._

_"Same time same place tomorrow Princess."_

_Flashback Over_

"That fucking bastard!" Sawyer screamed. "I will kill him."

"It's too late," Kate sniffled, with the tears still streaming down her face.

"Tell me he didn't do it again," he whispered grabbing her face roughly, but only trying to get an answer, and not trying to hurt her.

"I waited a week," she whispered.

"A week?!" he exclaimed.

"Sawyer, shh," she said softly. "You'll wake up the baby."

"What the fuck did you wait a week for?" he asked.

"Sawyer I was 14, I didn't exactly know what to do," she answered. "And Wayne was right. The next day I was doing my laundry because I bled all over my sheets, and my mom asked me what I was doing. I told her what happened and she called me a liar. She didn't believe that her precious Wayne would do something like that. So I waited a week. On the 7th day I got a knife out of the kitchen and when he came I threatened him with the knife."

"A lotta good that'll do, Freckles," he scoffed.

"Thanks a lot," she replied. "You used almost his exact words…only he said 'A lotta good that'll do, Princess'…he came at me, and tried to take the knife, and I stabbed him in the chest. I killed him. I didn't go to jail because I told my testimony to the courts and they believed me…even though my own mother didn't. After that things got better between mom and I. Then she met your dad, and I was invisible again."

"Freckles," he whispered and pulled her into a hug. "Jesus Freckles, I wish you would have told me. How come I didn't know? How come it wasn't in the papers?"

"Because I was so young," she answered. "There was a small blurb, but they didn't want to make a big deal out of it because they didn't want me to have to deal with the press."

"Fuck," he shook his head. "Fuck, fuck. Fuck!"

"Sawyer stop it," she replied. "What-what do you want me to say?"

"God, I wish that you would have told me," he whispered. "You tell me everything. I wish you would have told me."

"I wish you'd stop saying that," she sighed. "Look, I'm sorry I waited so long. It's just-I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want-I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't know how to put it in to words, and I didn't want to have to say it out loud. Now I told you...now you know. But now you also know why I have nightmares all the fucking time. And why I'm a school slut. Because after having sex with that fucking pervert, anything was better. I wanted to get him out of me, and it was like the only way to do that was to have as much sex with as many people as possible. But Sawyer, you're the only one I've loved. The only one I've truly truly loved."

"Ditto Freckles," he whispered.

"So love me," she said. "Love me. It's midnight. Love me and make me forget that it's midnight."

He leaned toward her and kissed her lips. This time he let her over take it and to his surprise she was just as slow and gentle. Sawyer pulled her pants off and she shook her head.

"No," she whined.

"Kate?" he asked.

"Don't call me Princess!" she screamed and ran from the tent.

**A/N: I hope that people still enjoy this. I know this chapter was a little disturbing, but I hope it was still good. (Don't worry Wayne is NOT Kate's real father). Please review!**


	24. Chapter 24

Sawyer shut his eyes and then sat up and looked down at Aaron. Aaron was still fast asleep. He stood up and as he left his tent Juliet was headed over to him.

"Is everything ok?" she asked. "That's the third time tonight that I've heard yelling coming from your tent. And the second time Kate has run from here."

"Yeah," he mumbled. "She's just-there are things-can you do me a favor? Are you gonna be up for a while?"

"Well I was just heading back to bed, but what did you need?"

"Can you just sit here with Aaron for a minute, till I come back?" he asked.

"Sure," she nodded. "I'll be right here."

Sawyer walked toward Kate. She was still running, but Sawyer kept on walking. He knew eventually she would stop running. Just like he thought she stopped running. He saw her fall to the sand. He walked up to her and picked her up quietly.

"I told you not to call me Princess," she whispered.

"I didn't," he mumbled, and started walking back to his tent. "I called you Kate."

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

Sawyer carried Kate back up the beach and Juliet stood up quickly when he got to the tent. She looked at him curiously and Sawyer shook his head. He put Kate down in the tent and started to go back toward Juliet, but she pulled him back.

"Don't leave me," she sniffled.

"I ain't goin' nowhere," he whispered. "I'm just gonna say goodnight to Juliet."

"Are you gonna go fuck her too?" she asked.

"Kate," he sighed. "I'll be right back."

He stood back up and stepped outside the tent. Juliet was standing looking down at the baby. Aaron was still sleeping soundly.

"Thanks," he whispered. "I'm-I'm just gonna go see if she's alright."

"Do you want me to just take Aaron for the night?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "I don't think we'll be having any sex."

"Well that's not exactly what I meant," she answered. "I meant so that you could talk to her."

"Yeah," he whispered. "I don't even know if she'll do that. You can just leave him here. Thanks."

"No problem," she said and walked away.

Sawyer ducked back into the tent and Kate was facing away from the door. Sawyer laid down next to her and put a hand on her back. She turned toward him and looked up at him.

"I don't know what's wrong with me Sawyer," she shook her head.

"I think I have an idea," he said.

"I'm a mess," she sobbed. "I don't know why you even put up with me."

"Because I love you," he whispered and put his hands on her face. "I want to be with you because you're a sweetheart when you want to be. And you're awesome with Aaron. And you're gorgeous. You're amazing."

"I don't know what to do," she shook her head.

"Well just laying here with you is enough," he answered. "Just go to sleep."

"Ok," she sniffled and put her head against his shoulder.

_Tom was Kate's boyfriend. Since they were so young, neither one of them really wanted to have sex. After Wayne was dead Kate wanted to have sex with Tom. He didn't really seem interested. Kate would kiss him, and he liked that, but each time she tried to take it just a bit further he would freak out._

_It had been 5 months. Kate was at a party with Tom, but they weren't hanging out together. There was a guy standing near her staring at her. _

_Before Kate knew what was happening, or what she was saying, they were in the hall closet making out heavily. _

_"What's your name?" he whispered._

_"Kate," she answered. "You?"_

_"Jeremy," he replied. "Now less talking."_

_Kate smirked and they continued to kiss. Clothes started coming off. Kate was wearing a short skirt, and Jeremy pushed it up. She wrapped her legs around him, and he shoved her against the door of the closet._

_"Do you want to have sex?" he asked._

_"Yeah," she nodded. He chuckled and pulled his pants down._

Kate woke up violently and accidentally hit Sawyer in the face. He groaned softly and opened his eyes.

"Are you alright?" he mumbled.

"Yeah," she sighed. "You? I'm sorry."

"I'm fine," he answered. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. "Another dream?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But not about Wayne. Sawyer…how many people-I mean I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours."

"Kate," he chuckled. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"How many people have you had sex with?" she whispered. "I don't know if it's really any of my business-"

"Yeah, it's your business," he answered. "Since we're having sex, I guess you should know how many I've had sex with. I dunno…about 130-"

"130?" she asked. "I'm not-it isn't-my number isn't that high."

"Sorry Freckles," he said softly. "But since you…there hasn't been anyone. So how many?"

"50," she shrugged. "Maybe."

"Well, besides I'm older than you," he told her. "It's not a big deal."

"Do you remember when our parents first moved in together?" she laughed.

"Oh yeah," he smirked. "We had only been living there like 3 days when I saw you naked for the first time."

"Hey, it's not my fault that you don't know how to knock."

_Kate had her own bathroom. Her bathroom was connected to her bedroom. She walked into her bedroom and didn't notice that Sawyer was sitting on her bed. She walked over to the closet. And took some clothes out. She put them on the bed and then noticed Sawyer. She screamed loudly and dropped her towel. She stood there frozen for a minute, and then quickly re-wrapped the towel around herself._

_"What the hell are you doing in here?" Kate asked. _

_"Just came to say hi," he answered. "So what do you think of this whirlwind romance of our parents?"_

_"I'm completely naked, you wanna come back when I get dressed?"_

_"Not really," he replied. "I was wondering if I could sleep in here tonight."_

_"What?!" she exclaimed. "No!"_

_"Well then can we trade bedrooms?" he asked. "They're loud."_

_"You're disgusting, get out of my room," she scoffed._

_"Sorry," he sighed. "I didn't mean-it's grosser for me."_

_"Yeah," she whispered. "Well I'm sorry you have to hear it…but I'm not switching rooms. Put on headphones. It works."_

_"Thanks," he chuckled._

Kate looked at Sawyer somewhat sadly and then shook her head.

"I can't believe she's going to die," she sniffled. "And I'm not even going to be able to say goodbye. I hate her for making me leave, but I can't hate her because she's gonna die."

"Freckles," he whispered. "We'll find a way home so that you can say goodbye to your mom."

"How?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "But we will."

**A/N: So I'm watching the TV show Coupling, which is a British sitcom, and it is freaking hilarious. Anyway one of the episodes, one of the main characters is called Freckles because she has Freckles in her nether region. It made me laugh, and think of Lost.**


	25. Chapter 25

Kate woke up and looked at Sawyer who was sleeping soundly. The baby started fussing softly, but she knew that at any time the he would start a full blown cry. Kate sat up and picked the baby up. She looked down at the baby and he reached at her face and smiled. She continued to look at the baby and bounced him softly.

"You're ok," she whispered.

"Are you?" Sawyer asked, sitting up.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I love you so much Sawyer. And I love Aaron. I-I don't want to get you mad, but I still want a baby."

"Kate-" he started.

"I'm sorry," she said quickly. "Don't be mad at me-"

"I'm not mad," he interrupted. He took Aaron from her and put him in his crib. She looked down at her lap, and sniffled.

"You're not?" she sighed.

"No," he replied. He put his finger under her chin and lifted her head up so she would look at him. He leaned toward her and kissed her. She moved over him and sat on his lap. She backed away and looked at him. "Freckles…why do you want a baby so badly?"

"I don't know," she shook her head and sobbed softly.

"It's about Wayne-"

"Don't," she whispered.

"Do you want to have a baby because of Aaron?"

"No," she shook her head.

"I think that you want a baby because it will make you feel better about what happened to you," he began. "If you have a baby then you have someone to love unconditionally. But you see, you already do. I love you more than anything in the world Kate. And Aaron-Aaron loves you so much."

"A baby changes your entire life," she whispered. "If I have a baby then I'll be a mommy."

"You already are a mommy," he said, looking down at the baby. "But Kate, if you really really won't drop this whole having a baby right now…we can have a baby."

Kate smiled at him and shook her head.

"No," she whispered. "I mean, I do really want a baby, but I know you don't. So I don't want to make you do something that will make you resent me."

"I won't resent you," he shook his head. He leaned forward and kissed her slowly.

That night Sawyer and Kate were sitting on the airplane seats, looking at the baby. Kate turned toward Sawyer and kissed him. He kissed her back and pulled her onto his lap. Her back was facing him. As they continued to kiss Sawyer reached his hand up her shirt. She moaned softly and turned toward him. She put her hands on his cheeks, and then backed away.

"Kate," he whispered.

"I want to have sex," she said softly.

"Really?" he asked with a smirk. "What else is new?"

"I just want things to go back to normal. I want to love you tonight," she whispered.

"I love you every night Kate," he told her. She glared at him, and he nodded and smiled. "Ok. Here…give me Aaron and I'll be right back."

"What?" she asked.

"I'm going to go give Aaron to one of the babysitters out on the beach, and then I'll be back."

"Promise," she said.

"Kate, I'll be right back," he sighed.

"No," she whispered. "Promise me."

"Jeez," he said under his breath. "I promise Freckles."

He left the airplane seats and walked down the beach with Aaron. He went over to Juliet's tent. She was standing by her tent looking at the sky. She felt Sawyer walk up next to her and looked at him.

"Hey there goldilocks," he said.

"Hi," she chuckled. "I see that you and Kate are doing ok now."

"Yeah," he nodded.

"You two aren't really in to the whole PDA, what's up with that?" she asked. "Making out on the beach where everyone can see?"

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Sorry. I know it's gross."

"No actually, it's kinda sweet," she answered. "I'm glad that you're kissing instead of yelling at each other. Is she alright?"

"I'm trying to get her there," he responded. "But I really don't know."

"So I'm guessing that you didn't just come over here to have a short chat, while Kate is over there waiting for you," Juliet chuckled.

"No," he smirked. "Can you-"

"Take care of Aaron?" she asked, finishing his thought for him.

"It doesn't have to be for the whole night-" he started.

"No," she shook her head. "I'll take him as long as you need me to. Why don't you just-I'll bring him back to you in the morning."

"Ok," he nodded. "Thanks."

Sawyer walked back to the airplane seats and Kate was sitting there in her underwear. He looked at her curiously and shook his head.

"What are you doing?" he chuckled. "You're sitting here in your underwear. It's not even light out, so I know you ain't working on your tan."

"I'm really hot," she whispered, touching her neck. "I was gonna go for a dip to cool off. You wanna come?"

"You know I do," he smirked. She looked around the beach and noticed that most everyone had left the beach. She stood up and jumped into Sawyer's arms. He carried her to the water and put her down when he got there. He kissed her and she started laying down. He followed her and laid down on top of her. The waves moved over them and they kissed. She looked up at him and he smiled weakly.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Shh," he said. She pulled his pants down and then smiled widely.

"I want you so much," she stated, wrapping her legs around him. Sawyer stood up and brought Kate with him. She looked at him, slightly confused, and then Sawyer carried her up to the tent. He put her down and crawled over her.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I've had sex in the ocean before," he told her. "Believe me it's not all it's cracked up to be. Sand gets in places-"

"So what?" she smiled. "I love you so fucking much Sawyer. I never thought-ever since I was 14, I never thought I'd fall in love. I never thought anyone could love me."

"Freckles," he whispered.

"I don't want you to fuck me," she told him. "For once, I just want to make love."

Sawyer rolled off of her and ran his hand down her body, which was still damp with water. He kissed her softly and ran his hand down her body. He unhooked her bra and let it fall off of her. He smiled at her and kissed her neck and down her body.

"Sawyer," she whispered. She pushed his boxers down slowly. She rolled onto her back, and pulled him on top of her. He moved slowly over her and continued to kiss her lips. She moaned softly as he pulled her underwear off. He pushed down into her, and she breathed deeply and kissed him. They moved together and Kate came first. Sawyer pushed down one final time and came. He rolled off of her but pulled her toward him.

"I love you," he said and kissed her on the side of the face. "And we're gonna have a baby Freckles. We'll have a baby Kate."

Kate heard the words, but wasn't entire

**2 Months Later**

Kate was standing on the beach with her hands against her stomach. Sawyer came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her from behind. She turned toward him and kissed his lips.

"I had my period," she whispered.

"It's alright," he said running his hands up her sides and toward her hair.

"Sawyer," she gasped.

"What?" he asked, slightly concerned.

"Do you hear that?" she questioned.

"Hear what?" he asked. She looked up and then he heard it. There was a helicopter flying over the island, and beginning to land on the island.

**A/N: Please please please please please review?**


	26. Chapter 26

Kate quickly ran into the jungle. Sawyer followed her just as quickly, and tried to stop her. He caught up with her and grabbed her by the arm, neither of them said anything, and Kate quickly wrenched her arm from him and continued to the helicopter. Kate walked ahead of Sawyer, but Sawyer refused to leave her and continued after her.

"Kate will you slow down dammit," Sawyer said.

"No!" she exclaimed. "I see that fucking helicopter and I know that we're getting off of this island."

When they arrived at the helicopter Jack was standing in the clearing with his eyes closed, and his head bent toward the sky. Kate ran toward him and flung her arms around him.

"Oh my God!" she breathed. "You're alive."

"So are you," he said. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "I'm ok. Are you?"

"I'm here to bring you back," he stated. "You and everyone-I'm here to bring you back."

Kate wrapped her arms around him again and didn't look like she was going to let go anytime soon. Sawyer cleared his throat, and she still didn't back away.

"I'm gonna go get Aaron, don't leave without me," he murmured.

**4 Hours Later**

They were on a boat back home. Sawyer and Kate were sitting together, while Juliet and Jack got reacquainted. Sawyer had Aaron on his lap. And Kate had her head against Sawyer's shoulder, but she wasn't sleeping.

"Go on," he mumbled.

"Go on where?" she asked.

"You know as well as I do that you'd rather go sit with him, so go," he said, pushing her gently off his shoulder.

"Sawyer what are you talking about?" she said softly.

"When we got to the helicopter you couldn't let go of him, and I know that you want to go, so go," he sighed. "I ain't mad, just go, before I change my mind."

"Sawyer you're being stupid," she shook her head.

"Thanks," he said.

"No I mean," she sighed. "Sawyer of course I hugged him, and of course I held on. I thought he was dead. To see him standing in front of me alive-Sawyer you don't get to treat me this way just because you're a little jealous. What about if you saw Claire get off that helicopter."

"I buried Claire," he replied.

"I know," she nodded. "But what if she wasn't dead? You would be just as happy to see her."

"Well we also had a baby together," he stated.

"Oh so just because you and Claire had a baby together, that means I can't care about Jack as much as you cared about Claire?" she asked. "And what about us? We don't have a baby either, but that doesn't mean that I don't love you. And shut up…I'm not going anywhere. I'm right where I want to be."

She put her head against his shoulder again. Sawyer knew he was being jealous for no reason, but he couldn't help but think he was going to lose her. He wasn't used to staying with anyone for longer than a couple months. He looked down at Kate, and she was looking up at him with a weak smile. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

"Don't worry," he said putting his free arm around her. "When we get home you'll talk to your mom. And we'll try and have a baby. I'll get you pregnant. If anyone can do it-"

"Sawyer," she started. "I don't want a baby."

"What?" he scoffed. "What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Hey," she started. "Watch your language around the baby. I don't want a baby right now. I can't think about it now. I mean we're going home. Maybe we can get our lives back."

"Do you still want to move in with me?" he asked. "I mean…I'm not staying at that house with my dad. He'd never let me…not with Aaron-are you still coming with me?"

"Sawyer, I can't," she shook her head.

"What are you talking about?" he asked. "You said that's what you wanted. You want a family right. Me, you and Aaron, and another baby maybe. Why are you doing this? We're rescued. We're going home. We can get married."

"I'm too young to get married," she chuckled. "I'm gonna go home and apologize to my mom, and go to college. I can't marry you now."

"So what are you saying, now that we're going home you don't want to be with me?" he asked.

"Sawyer you said that you didn't need a ring and a wedding to be with me," she reminded him. "I mean we can still be a family without getting married. And we can be a family without moving out of our parents house. I'm too young to be moving in with my boyfriend."

"I know what I said," he nodded. "I know that I said we didn't have to get married to be a family, but I thought that it's what you wanted. And excuse me, but I don't see how you and I can be a family while we're still living with our parents."

"I just-I changed my mind," she answered. "I don't want to get married right now. I'm confused."

"I'm not," he shook his head. "I get it Kate, I was just convenient on the island, and now you can go home and go to college and be a slut again?"

"Shut up!" she screamed.

"No!" he exclaimed back. "I mean it's like damn, you don't want to be with me?"

"I never said that," she whispered. "Of course I still want to be with you Sawyer. I still love you. I just-I know I said that we could get married when we got off the island but I honestly-"

"You never thought we'd be rescued," he shook his head. "You thought we'd be stuck on the island forever. Stuck in some fantasy. But now that we're going home…you don't want any of it."

"Sawyer," she began. "I still want you. I still want to sleep next to you every night-"

"Well I told you…I'm moving out," he replied. "I can't stay at that house."

**1 Week Later**

Sawyer and Kate walked up the steps to the house. Sawyer's plan was to get a bag of stuff and move into a hotel while he found another place to live. He wanted to stay with Kate, and he would try and make it work, but he was still pissed at her. Kate was pissed too. She didn't want Sawyer to leave the house. She didn't understand why they couldn't just stay with their parents for a little while longer. The main reason she didn't want to leave was because she wanted to spend as much time as possible with her mom. The past week had been torture, with neither of them saying much. Sawyer was holding Aaron while a taxi took them home. Kate kept acting like she wanted to speak, but each time she opened her mouth, she closed it again. They pulled up to the house and got out of the cab. When they went inside, the house was empty.

"Mom!" Kate exclaimed. "Mom!"

She went up the stairs to her mom's room, and found it empty. Sawyer and Kate both looked around the house, for some sign of someone, but it seemed like the house had been empty for a while. Sawyer went in the basement to see if his dad was there. His dad sometimes went to the basement to think, but he wasn't there. In the basement Sawyer found some old baby furniture. He knew that it was all his old stuff. The crib wasn't assembled. Sawyer carried all of the furniture upstairs. The 4th trip to the top floor Sawyer was exhausted. He went back downstairs to the kitchen and found Kate on her phone. There was a knock at the door, so Sawyer went to answer it. It was Jack and Mrs. Shephard standing in front of him.

"Hi," he said softly.

"I wanted to give you this," Margo said with tears coming into her eyes. She pushed a stroller into the house. The seat of the stroller could come off and become a car seat. Sawyer looked at her somewhat curiously and shook his head.

"What is this for?" he asked.

"The baby," she said. "Before Claire left on the plane she told us that she was pregnant. Her dad and I bought her this for when she came home. I know it's not much-I just-I want to know if I can see my grandson."

"Of course," Sawyer said stepping out of the way of the doorframe and letting Margo in the room. He walked over to Kate who was holding Aaron while talking on the phone. He took Aaron from her and walked back to Margo. He handed Aaron to Margo and she sniffled.

"I know that Claire wasn't my daughter, but she's been my daughter since she was 2. I miss her," she whispered.

"Sawyer," Kate sobbed. He turned toward her and she walked over to him. "Can you take me to the hospital? My mom's there. She's been in a coma for 4 months. I need to go see her."

"Yeah," he whispered. "Of course. Come on."

He went to take Aaron back from Margo and she reluctantly handed him to him.

"Can I see him-" Margo began.

"Any time you want," Sawyer answered.

"Thank you," she breathed.

"Actually," Sawyer started. "Can you baby sit while I take Kate to the hospital?"

"I'd love to," Margo beamed. Jack smiled too, and they left the house. Sawyer drove Kate to the hospital, and she cried the entire way there. They went to the room, and sat down next to the bed. Kate put her head down in her hands and shook her head.

"This is too hard," she whispered. The nurse came in and started checking the machines. She looked at Kate and Sawyer and smiled weakly.

"How do you know the patient," the nurse asked.

"She's my mom," Kate answered. "She's going to die isn't she?"

"Well," the nurse began. "She's in a coma. She's been in a coma for 2 months. We've only kept her on the life support because Dr. Shephard's son insisted on keeping her alive till her daughter could get back."

"Dr. Shep-Jack Shephard?" she asked. "Christian Shephard's son?"

"Yeah," she whispered. "He's been doing an internship here, and he insisted that eventually her daughter would be back…so I guess you're her right?"

"Yeah," Kate nodded. "So are you going to ask me to let you take her off the life support?"

"We'll give you some time," she responded. "But eventually that's going to be a decision you'll have to make. There's only one item in her personal affects, that she said that James Ford should see it."

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"She's been in the hospital for a while," the nurse answered. "Before she slipped into the coma her husband came and saw her every day. One day he brought her this note. She was crying when he left, and she told me that James Ford should see the note. It was about 3 days later when she crashed and she has been in a coma ever since. But I think she'd still want you to see the note. I'll go get it…and I'll be back."

"Ok," Sawyer said skeptically.

The nurse was gone almost 30 minutes. When she came back Kate had already fallen asleep. It was almost past visiting hours, but Sawyer didn't want to wake up Kate.

"Mr. Ford?" the nurse asked. "Here you go…sorry it took so long."

She handed him an envelope and he took it. He turned it over in his hands and waited before opening it. Finally he couldn't take it anymore and tore into the envelope.

_Dear Diane,_

_I know that I'm scum for leaving you all alone while you're dying, but since my son is dead, and you're dying I have nothing to live for. I lost my job, and have 100,000 dollars in debt. I have to end it now. If you get better then I'm sorry I did this, but I can't live with myself. But the real reason why I'm doing this is because my son isn't my son. I found out that Mary was unfaithful throughout our entire marriage. James isn't my son. His real father is the man who killed Mary. Sawyer is James's real father-_

_  
_Sawyer dropped the letter on the floor before he could finish reading it. He didn't want to know anything else. He looked over at Kate who was still sleeping. He put his hand on her back to wake her up.

"What?" she murmured.

"We gotta go, we gotta go get Aaron," he said.

"You go ahead," she sighed. "I'm gonna stay here with my mom."

As Kate spoke the nurse came back.

"Actually, you can't," she said, remorsefully. "Unfortunately our visiting hours are over."

"When can I come back?" Kate whispered.

"Tomorrow at 8:00," the nurse answered.

"Ok," she stated. "Thanks."

Sawyer drove home, and Kate asked him what was wrong several times, but he didn't seem to hear her. Margo and Jack had stayed at the house. When Sawyer went inside he didn't see any sign of them downstairs, but he heard movement upstairs. He walked up the steps and found Jack and Margo putting the finishing touches on the nursery. Kate and Sawyer had only been gone a few hours, but they had put together all the furniture. It looked like they even went and bought some other furniture or brought it from their own house. Aaron was already in the crib sleeping. Margo was sitting in a rocking chair, that was something Sawyer didn't recognize. Jack was setting up a changing table, which was also new.

"Hey," Sawyer said blankly. "You did all this?"

"It's the least I could do," Margo stated. "I know that you guys are probably tired, so I wanted you to be able to relax when you came home. We got you some diapers and a baby monitor too."

"Thank you," Sawyer breathed. "This is-wow. I don't think my own parents would have done this for me."

Margo stood up and wrapped her arms around Sawyer. Sawyer felt very awkward but patted Margo on the back and then backed away from her.

"Call me tomorrow, and I'll look after him again if you want," she smiled.

"I dunno what's going on," he shrugged. "But I will if we need you. Thanks. Thanks Jack."

"No problem, it was actually kinda fun."

Margo and Jack left and Sawyer walked to his old room and laid down in his bed. He could tell that his room hadn't been touched since he left. The bed wasn't even made. He crawled under the covers with all his clothes on. Kate walked in the room after him and laid down behind him.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"What?" he exclaimed, seemingly startled.

"Sorry," she said softly. "Are you alright? Where's your dad?"

He shook his head, but didn't say anything.

"Sawyer," she whispered and put her hands on his cheeks. He leaned toward her quickly and kissed her. He flipped over on top of her and pulled her shirt off quickly. She stopped him and let out a deep breath. He bent back down and kissed her again. He took her hand in his and pushed it down the front of his pants.

"James," she said softly and pulled her hand away.

"Fine," he scoffed and flipped over with his back to her. She put her hands on his back and he moved away from her. "Go to sleep."

"Sawyer talk to me," she stated. "Where's your dad?"

"He's dead ok!" he yelled. "My dad killed himself. That's what was in the fucking letter. My dad was a coward. He killed himself."

"Sawyer, I'm so-" she began.

"Don't say your sorry," he shook his head. "Don't say anything."

He leaned toward her and kissed her hard and fast. She let out a breath and yelp, not expecting Sawyer's aggressiveness. He rolled on top of her and continued to kiss her roughly. She turned her face away from him and he continued to kiss her down her neck. Finally she pushed him away.

"Jam-" she started

"Either we have sex or we go to sleep," he interrupted. He rolled back over on top of her and grinded against her hips. She moaned again and let him kiss her, but he was being even more aggressive and rough than before.

"James," she said. "Stop."

"No," he growled and continued to push against her.

"Stop," she said again. "Don't, Sawyer."

"You didn't say the magic word," he replied, covering her mouth quickly with his own.

"Stop!" she screamed and smacked him in the face. He looked at her stunned, almost as if he couldn't understand his own actions. He quickly rolled off of her and moved to the edge of the bed, as far away from her as he could. Kate closed her eyes tightly and tried to get the image of Wayne out of her head. She pressed her hands against her eyes as hard as she could without making it hurt too much. Tears started forming, but she stopped them from falling. She looked at Sawyer who was shaking. She didn't know if he was crying, or if he was ashamed of what he had done. He hadn't actually hurt her, and she knew that he never would have hurt her. And now she was beginning to be aroused thinking about what Sawyer could be doing to her. She still had the image of Wayne in her head, and wanted it out. She rolled toward him and then leaned over him, putting her hands against his shoulder.

"Sawyer-" she began. She leaned over him and kissed his cheek where she smacked him. "I'm sorry. I want to have sex. You can be as rough as you want." He turned and looked at her to see if she was serious.

"Fuck me," she whispered.

He let out a groan and quickly grabbed her by the butt cheeks and pulled her toward him. She kissed him quickly and passionately. He rolled them over so he was on top and started kissing her deeper. He moaned softly and tried to get a breath of air, but at the same time kept his lips pressed to hers.

"I'm gonna fuck you so hard," he said into her ear.

"James," she moaned.

"Are you wet?" he asked.

"Not yet," she smirked.

"Oh, but you will be," he said confidently. "I'm gonna tease you first, and you're going begging for me to push into you."

He pulled her pants off in one quick movement and tossed them on the floor. He pulled his own shirt over his head and laid down on top of her. He started kissing her neck, and had most of his weight on top of her. She breathed in deeply and ran her fingers down his back, without scratching her nails across his skin. She reached between them and unbuckled his belt. She helped him out of his pants and chuckled softly, as he pushed back down on her. He looked down at her.

"I want to watch you," he stated.

"What?" she asked. "Watch me what?"

He took her hand in his and then put it between them. She looked up at him and was still slightly confused, but knew what he wanted her to do. She put her hand in her underwear and started touching herself softly. She closed her eyes and moaned.

"Open your eyes," he whispered, still sitting on her legs and watching her. She opened her eyes and looked at him as she touched her self. "Are you wet yet?"

Kate stayed quiet, but nodded slowly. He pulled his boxers down and put his hand on top of hers. He kissed her neck again and started sucking. She knew that he was going to give her a hickey, but she didn't push him away.

"Are you ready?" he asked, pulling her underwear off. She still didn't say anything, but she moaned and nodded again. He pushed into her and they both started moaning. He was being rough, but she knew that he liked it when she spoke dirty and asked him to be rougher.

"James," she moaned. "I need your cock in me. Fuck me harder. Deeper. I love the way this feels. You're so big. You're the biggest I've ever seen."

"Am I bigger than Jack," he asked into her ear.

"Yes," she answered quickly. "You are so big that sometimes it hurts, but I like it. Faster cowboy."

He moaned and lifted her hips with his hands and pulled her toward him, and at the same time pushing down on her. She bent her head back and moaned louder. He kissed her and continued to rock his hips. She bit down on his lip a little harder than she meant too, but neither one of them stopped to say anything. Aside from their moans, neither one of them spoke. Sawyer came before Kate did and stopped moving, but didn't roll off of her. She looked at him and waited. He reached between them and started touching her and then started thrusting at the same time. She came and sighed deeply.

He rolled off of her and turned his back to her. She put her hands on his shoulders and he quickly moved away from her.

"Lemme alone!" he exclaimed.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Sawyer, what happened?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"James," she said.

"Leave me alone!" he yelled. He got out of the bed, pulled his pants on and went down the hall. Kate followed him into the room that Sawyer made for Aaron. He was sitting on the floor, and he pulled something out of his pocket and started reading it. She furrowed her eyebrows and walked toward him. He hadn't finished reading the letter.

_Sawyer is James's real father. I found Mary's diary and she wrote that I wasn't James's father. I can't live with knowing that. My son is dead, but my son isn't really even my son._

Sawyer rubbed his face, and then quickly stood up and ran from the room. Kate heard him go into the bathroom. He still had the letter tightly in his hand. He went over to the toilet and puked. He coughed violently. He had no idea how any of this was possible. His dad was kind of a prick, but he couldn't believe that he was dead, and he couldn't believe that it wasn't really his dad. He got up and went to the sink. He stared at himself in the mirror. He always thought that he had his dad's eyes, but he was mistaken. He turned on the faucet and splashed his face with cold water. He took the glass from the sink and drank some water and then spit some out, getting the taste of throw up out of his mouth. He rinsed his mouth several times and then looked at Kate who was standing in the doorway. He walked toward her and put his hands on her hips. He pulled her quickly toward him and put his mouth against hers. She backed away and he pulled her toward him again and started kissing her more aggressively.

"Sawyer-" she started, but he covered her mouth again and pushed her into the hall. He slammed her against the wall and picked her legs up. He had his arms under her butt, and kept her pressed against the wall. He pulled his pants down, along with his boxers, and then pulled Kate's underwear off. He used so much force that her underwear were torn and he tossed them on the ground. He pushed into her against the wall. She moaned passionately and grabbed his hair to pull him closer. He pulled her shirt down, but not off, only enough to suck at the tops of her breasts.

"Kate," he moaned loudly. She moved her legs around him tighter. He shoved her hard into the wall again. This time she felt herself go into the wall slightly, and she knew that there was a dent in the wall. He backed away only enough to look at her as he thrust against her.

"Jesus," she breathed.

"Fuck, you're so wet," he whispered as he pulled completely out of her and then pushed all the way back in. She came and draped herself over his shoulder. He stayed inside of her and carried her back to the bedroom. He fell into the bed with her still under him.

"I'm gonna make you come again," he said into her ear. "And believe it or not I haven't come and I'm not in the least tired."

"James," she moaned.

"The name is Sawyer, baby," he said beginning to thrust again.

"Holy shit," she groaned as he pounded into her. "S-sa-sawyer."

"Tell me you love me," he said sucking on her earlobe.

"I love you James," she moaned.

"Sawyer!" he yelled pushing into her again.

"Sawyer," she whispered softly. He came and then she did too. He quickly rolled off of her and turned his back to her. She looked at him, confused and then tried to go to sleep, but she knew it wouldn't happen. She started getting dressed again. She got up and went across the hall to her old bedroom and got a fresh pair of underwear. She went and laid down next to Sawyer again. He was already sleeping. She sighed deeply and wondered what the hell was happening with him.

**2 Hours Later**

Kate could hear Aaron crying. She didn't know if Sawyer could hear him, but he wasn't moving. She walked down the hall and picked him up. He clung to her shirt and continued to cry.

"Oh Aaron," Kate said quietly. "What's the matter?"

He continued to cry, and Kate walked with him back and forth in he bedroom, trying to get him to stop. She did whatever she could to stop him from crying, and nothing worked. She tried to give him a bottle and he didn't want it, she thought mainly because he wasn't used to drinking formula. They had been giving him dried milk since he was born. She was sitting in Aaron's room rocking him slowly in her arms, but standing up. She sighed and looked down at him.

"Do you miss the sounds of the waves?" she asked. She decided that the next day she would go baby shopping. Get some clothes for Aaron, and bottles and pacifiers, and maybe a sound machine that had the sound of the ocean. She continued to shush Aaron, but he continued to cry. She looked up and saw Sawyer standing in the doorway.

"Hi," she said meekly.

"Here, give him to me," he mumbled. He took the baby from her and started rocking him similarly to what Kate had been doing, but this time Aaron fell straight to sleep. Sawyer looked at Kate and put Aaron down. He chuckled and left the room. Kate almost felt like he was mad at her. She followed him and got into bed behind him.

"Why are you laughing?" she asked, as she noticed that Sawyer was still chuckling.

"How long were you in there?" he questioned.

"I dunno maybe 30 minutes," she answered.

"That's why it's funny," he replied. "You couldn't get him to shut up, and I went in there for 30 seconds and he quieted right down."

"Oh that's hilarious," she scoffed.

"Go to sleep Kate," he said slightly coldly.

"James," she whispered.

"I'm not James anymore," he shook his head.

"What?" she asked. "What do you mean?"

"Nothin'," he sighed. "I don't mean nothin'…go to sleep."

"Why won't you talk to me?" she whispered. "I know you're dad-I'm so sorry about your dad."

"Shut the fuck up!" he exclaimed. "I don't want to fucking talk about it Kate, God!"

"I'm-I'm sorry-" she started, and then he pulled her toward him and kissed her deeply.

"I want to fuck you," he said.

"N-no," she shook her head. "Sawyer, I'm tired. Let's just lay here together. Hold each other."

"I don't need to be held," he replied, reaching his hand into her fresh underwear. "I need to have my dick in you."

"No," she said again this time more forcefully. "You've already fucked me twice. And I'm using the word fuck because there wasn't an ounce of love in what we did tonight. What is the matter? There has to be something more to what is in that letter.'

"You didn't come right out and talk to me about your sick step dad!" he exclaimed. "Just leave me alone! Drop it!"

"Ok," she nodded. She put her hand against his chest and then stroked his side softly "Ok…you're right. I'm sorry. I'll drop it."

"Will you just do me a favor?" he asked.

"Yeah, anything," she responded.

"Either don't fucking touch me, or let me fuck you," he said.

Kate swallowed hard and nodded. She took her hand from his body and rolled over so that they weren't touching. She closed her eyes and tried to sleep, but she couldn't fall asleep.

Sawyer had just as hard of a time falling asleep. He felt bad about getting mad at Kate. He felt even worse because even though he told her he didn't want to be touched, in reality he wanted her to hold him all night.

**A/N: Since Jack is back in the story, there will be more of him. I will try to do some Jateyness, it might not be romantic, but definitely a friendship. This chap was nice and long. I hope that you enjoyed it! Please please review!!!!**


	27. Chapter 27

Kate didn't fall asleep until 3:30 in the morning. She was finally asleep and Sawyer woke up violently. Kate mumbled softly and rolled over. Sawyer rubbed his face and sighed deeply.

"You alright?" Kate murmured.

"I'm fine," he replied and got out of the bed. Kate sighed deeply, but decided not to follow him. She rolled back over and went back to sleep. It was easier than the last time.

In the morning Kate woke up and walked down the hallway. She looked in her room, and saw Sawyer sleeping in her bed. She went into the room and sat down on the bed next to Sawyer. He rolled over toward her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her next to him.

"Sawyer don't," she said pushing him away. He kissed her and got on top of her. She groaned softly, and got out from under him. "I'm not in the mood."

"Well I am," he answered simply. He sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, with his feet on the floor. Kate started walking away, but Sawyer grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back toward him. He pulled her down into a kiss, and she couldn't help but kiss back. She straddled his legs and leaned over him to kiss him deeper. He rolled them over and tossed her on the bed. He started to pull her shirt up over her head, and then the baby started crying. Kate backed away and breathed in deeply.

"Sawyer, the baby," she breathed.

"What baby?" he asked leaning down to kiss her again. "You don't want a baby anymore remember? You don't want to marry me because you just want me for my hard cock."

"James," she scoffed. "Get the fuck off of me."

"It's Sawyer," he replied. He got off of her and she walked out of the room to Aaron's room. She picked him up and rocked him gently. When she picked him up he stopped crying. Kate, however started crying. She sat down in the rocking chair and started rocking slowly.

The tension between Sawyer and Kate didn't get better throughout the day. Kate took the car and went to the hospital. When she got there she sat down next to her mom's bed and told her everything about what had happened over the past few days. She wasn't sure if her mom could even hear her, but she continued to talk. She was holding her mom's hand and the machines started beeping. Kate quickly stood up and started calling for the doctors. A group of doctors and nurses rushed into the room. One of the nurses escorted Kate out of the room. Kate refused to go to the waiting room, and instead sat down in the hallway out side of her mom's room. She tried her best not to cry but it didn't work. She wanted to call Sawyer and have him come be with her, but she didn't have a cell phone, and she had no money for the pay phone, and not only that, but she was still mad at him. The doctor came out of the room and looked at Kate.

"Are you Diane Ford's daughter?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," he began. "We lost her-"

Before the doctor could finish his sentence Kate stood up and ran out of the hospital. She drove all the way home, with tears streaming down her face. She walked up the steps to the house and composed herself as best she could before going into the house. She went into the kitchen, to get a glass of water and found Sawyer sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of vodka. She walked over to him and took the bottle. She drank out of the bottle and then sat down next to him.

"My mom is dead," she told him. "We have the whole house to ourselves."

"We don't even have a baby," he said, moving toward her.

"What" she asked.

"I gave Aaron to Margo," he answered.

"Wait, what?" she questioned.

"You don't want kids right?" he asked. "Well I made sure-"

"You gave Aaron to Margo?" she interrupted.

"No," he chuckled. "But I let her take him for the night so that we can be together without him keeping us awake."

"Sawyer," she sighed. "What the hell happened?"

"Nothing," he answered. "Nothing happened Kate. I just want to have sex. I want to have sex with you, but if you don't want to I'm sure I can find someone else to-"

Kate stood up and smacked Sawyer in the face.

"You told me you loved me Sawyer," she whispered. "My mom just died, are you even going to say anything?"

"It sucks. But at least you didn't have to watch your mom being murdered," he stated.

"Fuck you," she scoffed. "I'm gonna go get your son. Sawyer, I know that something else is in that letter, and if you don't want to tell me then fine, but you don't get to treat me like shit just because you won't talk to me. And you especially don't get to treat Aaron like shit."

She started walking away, and Sawyer quickly got up and grabbed her by the arms. He picked her up and set her down on the kitchen table.

"Fuck me?" he whispered. "I'll fuck you Kate. I'm going to fuck you the rest of the day sweetheart. You'll forget all about your mom, and I'll forget about my dad."

"Sawyer," she began. She put her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. She put her head against his shoulder and started sobbing almost uncontrollably. He backed away and cupped her face with his hands. He kissed her softly and then wrapped his arms around her again.

That night Kate insisted that they bring Aaron back to the house. Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed together. Kate was laying against Sawyer's chest. He kissed her cheek and sighed deeply.

"Goodnight," he said, pushing her off of him, and rolling over with his back to her.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Kate," he began. "I'm really not in the mood for this. Go to bed."

"Sawyer I-" she started.

"Shut up!" he yelled.

She rolled over too and their backs were to each other. During the night they both rolled back over and found each other. Kate woke up in Sawyer's arms. She lifted her head and looked at him with sadness. She snuggled back down and kissed his chest softly, without trying to wake him up.

"I'm Sawyer," Sawyer whispered.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kate asked softly. "You keep saying that, but I don't get it Sawyer, what are you-"

"Sawyer is my real dad," he interrupted. "Sawyer-that stupid fucking letter. My dad said he found out that he wasn't my real dad."

"James," she whispered. "James, I'm so sorry."

"Don't call me James," he answered. "Just don't-I gotta-I just want to go back to sleep, but now you know. I'll see you in the morning."

Kate nodded and they both went back to sleep. But this time Sawyer didn't turn away from her, and they fell asleep in each other's arms.

**A/N: More angst will definitely happen. I know that Jack wasn't in this chapter, but he's not going away I promise. Pleaase review!**


	28. Chapter 28

Kate woke up and remembered what happened the night before. She knew that the subject of the real Sawyer was a sore subject for James. She didn't know why he insisted on going by Sawyer…maybe it was to always remember what happened to his mother, but she nonetheless felt horrible for what happened. If she ever found out that the man she hated most in the world, was her father, she didn't know what she would do.

She looked at Sawyer, who even as he slept, looked uneasy. He stirring slightly. She wasn't sure if it was because she was starting to wake him up, or if it was because he was having a bad dream.

"No," he mumbled. He tossed again. "Mom!"

He opened his eyes and Kate looked at him. She took a deep breath and brushed her hand over his hair.

"You alright?" she whispered.

"Dammit," he sighed. "Leave me alone Kate."

"Sawyer-" she started.

"Go away!" he exclaimed. "I don't want you to sleep in here anymore. I want you to go to your own bed. I can't-just leave me alone."

Kate got out of bed and went into the bathroom. She turned on the shower, and then stepped in. She stood under the hot water till it started running cold. She had her forehead pressed against the cool tile, but it didn't stop her cheeks from feeling like they were burning. She wasn't crying, but felt like she might. She knew that Sawyer just needed his space, but at the same time she just wanted to help him. The water was lukewarm when Kate decided to start washing her hair and body. She stepped out of the shower and wiped the steam off the mirror. She could hear Aaron crying, and sighed to herself. She hoped that Sawyer would take care of him. She heard the sound of footsteps walking down the hall and breathed a soft sigh of relief.

She walked into her old bedroom and put on some clothes. As she got dressed she could hear that Aaron had stopped crying. When she walked into Aaron's room, Sawyer was sitting in the rocking chair holding him.

"He ok?" Kate whispered.

"He's fine," Sawyer mumbled.

"Sawyer-" she started.

"I already told ya what's bothering me, now leave me alone," he scoffed. "I mean you couldn't leave well enough alone could you. You had to poke and poke until I caved, and now nothing will ever be ok."

"James-"

"Goddammit!" he screamed. "Stop fucking calling me James!"

Kate heaved a deep breath and walked toward him. Aaron was now screaming and crying. She took the baby from him and shook her head.

"Give me back my kid," he said.

"No!" she exclaimed. She walked out of the room, and down the steps. She went into the living room and sat down on the couch. Aaron was still crying, and Kate was shushing him as best she could.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "It's ok…shh. Aaron you're ok, I've got you."

Aaron kept crying and Kate heard Sawyer pounding down the steps. He looked at her and shook his head.

"I keep telling you to stop calling me James," he said, with his jaw clenched.

"I know," she squeaked out. "I'm sorry. I didn't-"

"I didn't mean to get so mad, I just-" he started. "I'm sick of this shit Kate. I want to go back to the island. Ignorance is bliss. I wish we never came back. I wish my I could go on believing that my dad is my dad, and that he's still alive, but I can't."

"Sawyer you can't cope all on your own," she shook her head. "Let me help you."

"I don't want your help," he answered. "Do you think you can just leave me alone?"

"You're so hot and cold," she sighed. "You had sex with me three times in a row that night we came back…what happened to that?"

"Well I had some time to think, and the more I thought…I don't want to get you pregnant," he responded.

"Oh so we're just never having sex again?" she asked.

"I don't want to talk anymore. I just want you to leave me alone. Now can I take my kid?"

Kate stood up and handed him the baby. She left the house and went next door. She knocked on the door and Jack answered.

"Hey," he said. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she sighed. "I just-I needed to talk to someone who actually might want to hear what I have to say."

"My dad told me about your mom," he stated softly. "Kate I'm so sorry."

"Thanks," she nodded. "I'm alright. Right now I'm just more worried about Sawyer. I mean I don't know what to do. He-he's pissed off. I know he's not mad at me, but I don't know what I can do to help him."

"Maybe he doesn't want your help," Jack shrugged.

"He doesn't," she responded. "He doesn't want my help, and it's just-Jack I think I might be pregnant and I don't know for sure, but-if I am it's going to completely ruin everything. I don't know if Sawyer will ever even look at me again. He told me to leave him alone. I don't even know if I can go back home."

"Sure you can," Jack smiled. "It's your house too right? Sawyer can't keep you from going in your own house. Do you need someone to drive you to the pharmacy to get a pregnancy test?"

"No," she shook her head. "I gotta go by myself. I just needed to talk to someone who would actually listen. Sawyer didn't even let me cry about my mom. He just kissed me and-I don't think he even cares at this point. He's too upset over his dad-never mind. I mean he's just-"

"Did something happen?" Jack asked.

"Something big," Kate nodded. "It's why I don't know how to help him deal with it. Because I don't know what I would do in the same situation. I'd probably be-I have no idea."

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"It's not really mine to tell," she shrugged. "I can't tell you. You understand?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "It's Sawyer's business."

"Yeah," she whispered. "He didn't even really want to tell me, but I kinda made him. I bugged him to tell me until he snapped."

"Did he hurt you?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head. "Nothing like that."

"Then why is there a big ugly purple bruise on your arm?"

"He grabbed me a little harder than he meant to," she answered.

"Kate this is classic-" he started.

"If you finish that sentence with the word abuse," Kate warned. "Jack, I'm fine. Sawyer didn't mean to give me a bruise. It might have been from when he slammed me against the wall-wow did that come out wrong. Look, Sawyer and I-we're both…shall I say passionate. I know that you don't want to hear all about my sex life, but neither one of us are exactly gentle with each other."

"'nough said," he answered.

"Look, I'm gonna go to the drug store. I'll talk to you later," she stated. "And hey, maybe in a couple days I can get Sawyer to have your mom come take the baby for a few hours. I know that Sawyer could probably use a break…and I'm sure your mom would love it."

"I think she'd take that baby and raise it as her own if Sawyer let her," Jack said, almost mysteriously.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked. "Do you think she'd-"

"God Kate, no," he interrupted. "My mom isn't a kidnapper. She wouldn't take him, and she wouldn't try and get custody…I just mean. When I told my parents about Claire…they were inconsolable. I almost think my dad would have rather I died than Claire. My mom just wants someone around that will remind her of Claire…hence Aaron."

"Ok," she sighed. "I'll see you later."

Kate got up and left the house. There was a drug store 4 miles away from their house, so Kate decided she'd walk there. When she got there she paid for the pregnancy test, and then asked to use the bathroom. The cashier told her that it was generally just for the employees to use, but he made an exception for Kate since she looked so desperate. She sat down on the toilet and closed her eyes tightly. She waited the 2 minutes and then looked down at the stick. There was a single line, which meant not pregnant. She almost didn't believe it. She bought a second pregnancy test and walked home.

Sawyer saw her walking up the sidewalk from the kitchen window. He knew that he should apologize to her again, and that he should tell her that he doesn't want to be left alone, but instead he walked upstairs with Aaron.

Kate walked into the house and went to the downstairs bathroom. She sat down on the lid of the toilet and opened the pregnancy test. She read the directions, and realized that the first one she took she only waited 2 minutes, but on the directions it said to wait 3. She took a deep breath and took the test. She paced back and forth in the small bathroom. It was only 2 steps to get from the door to the wall. She continued to pace and then looked at her watch. It had been 2 minutes and 30 seconds. Her heart started pounding. She could hear Aaron crying upstairs. When this baby was born Aaron would be almost a year and a half. She looked down at the pregnancy test, and it was another negative. She shook her head and looked back down at it. She sighed to herself and put the pregnancy test in the trash. She walked up the stairs and went to her bedroom without trying to talk to Sawyer.

Sawyer heard her bedroom door shut. She didn't slam it, but it shut harder than normal. She went over to her closet and started taking clothes out of it and throwing them on the bed. She stayed in her room the rest of the day, cleaning out her closet, and her dresser. She went downstairs to make dinner. She decided to cook her own food and didn't bother to ask Sawyer if he wanted to join her. He came downstairs with the baby and sat down at the kitchen table. He watched silently as Kate started stirring the pasta she was cooking.

"What are you making?" he asked softly.

"Spaghetti," Kate mumbled and turned around to turn the oven down.

"What's in the oven.

"Bread," she sighed and didn't bother looking at him.

"Kate I'm sorry," he shook his head.

"Well I'm not really in the mood to talk to you so just leave me alone."

She served the food out to herself and started walking away. She sighed again and stopped, but didn't turn toward him.

"I left a little bit if you want some," she murmured and disappeared up the stairs.

That night Kate was laying in her own bed and staring at the ceiling. It was the first time in a long time that she wasn't sleeping next to Sawyer. She was more upset than mad now, and she wished that she could tell him that she took a pregnancy test, and that it was negative. She heard the door open and looked over toward whoever was coming into her room.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. "Kate are you asleep?"

Kate would have spoken, but she decided to close her eyes and pretend she was sleeping to see what he would do. She thought maybe he would just leave, but instead she heard him walking toward her.

"Kate," he said out loud. She kept her eyes closed, and Sawyer crawled on top of her. "Kate."

She still kept her eyes closed. She was still pissed off at him, but having him holding her again, was making her heart flutter. She was trying hard not to smile. He kissed her lips and she let out a fake snore.

"Faker," Sawyer stated. "Kate, look at me."

She opened her eyes and sighed softly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, brushing his hand over her cheek and into her hair. "I didn't-I don't know why-"

"Sawyer you're allowed," she shrugged. "You can be pissed off. You can be angry and you can be upset. I just want to help you. I love you Sawyer, and I don't know how to help you."

"I'm just so fucking pissed off," he said softly. "I don't want to sound stupid and cheesy, but I don't even know who I am anymore Kate."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "Sawyer, I'm so sorry. I know that you don't want to hear that, but it's the only thing I can think of to say to you right now."

"I found that pregnancy test in the trash," he told her. "Were you going to tell me?"

"That I'm not pregnant?" she asked. "I didn't think you'd care."

"I don't know what test you were looking at Kate because the test was positive."

**A/N: Pppllease review!**


	29. Chapter 29

Kate shook her head and looked at him. He wasn't smiling which made Kate slightly nervous. She wasn't sure if he was even serious.

"Sawyer," she started. "I looked at the test. It was a negative."

"Kate, you must not have read it right," he answered. "There were two lines."

"Sawyer-" she whispered.

"Kate, I'm not lying…in fact," he replied, and he got out of the bed. He left the room and then came back a couple minutes later. Kate sat up slightly in bed, and he turned on the light and walked toward her. He handed her the pregnancy test and looked at her. She looked down at it and sure enough there were two lines staring back at her.

"Sawyer," she shook her head.

"Ain't every day that the guy gets to tell the girl she's pregnant," he said raising his eyebrows and smirking slightly.

"What are we gonna do?" she asked.

"What do you want to do Kate?" he questioned.

"I dunno," she sniffled. "I don't want to fight anymore. And I want to sleep in your arms."

"Oh," he nodded. "I thought you were talking about-"

"I was," she interrupted. "I'm going to have this baby Sawyer. With or without you, I'm having this baby."

"I ain't goin' anywhere Freckles," he whispered and leaned toward her. She turned her head before their lips touched, and he ended up kissing her ear. He didn't seem to mind because he went on to kiss her cheek and down her neck. Then he went back to her lips and tried to kiss her again, but again she turned her head.

"Do you mind if we just go to sleep?" she asked.

"No," he whispered. She laid back down and he laid with her. They laid down facing each other, but Kate closed her eyes immediately. Sawyer reached forward and put his hand gently against her cheek. She smiled weakly and opened her eyes. He didn't lean forward to kiss her, but instead, just continued to touch her face softly. He moved his hand down her neck slowly, and then back up to her face. He played with the stray piece of hair that had fallen from behind her ear. She reached forward and put her hand against the back of his neck. They inched very slowly toward each other, but they were going so slowly that it was almost backwards. Their lips touched, but only slightly. Kate opened her mouth, inviting Sawyer to kiss her harder, but he continued to kiss softly. He kissed her bottom lip and then pulled her closer

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to get so mad."

"I know," she nodded. "I don't even know what I would do Sawyer. What do you want me to do?"

Kate could see the tears making their way into his eyes. She wasn't even sure that he had cried yet about the fact that his dad was dead, not to mention the fact that he wasn't really his dad. Kate let out a soft breath and wiped his tears away.

"Shh," she whispered and wrapped her arms around him.

"It just hurts so much Freckles," he mumbled.

"I know," she sighed. "I know."

She rubbed his back firmly, but gently at the same time, and then rubbed the back of his head. Sawyer clung to her shoulders almost like a child, which made Kate fall apart. She could tell that he wasn't crying, but that he was trying his best to hold everything back.

"Sawyer-" she started.

"Call me James," he whispered.

"James," she said softly. "You can cry James. I won't think anything less of you."

"Maybe I will," he answered. "Let's just go to bed."

"Ok," she answered.

The next morning Kate was trapped in Sawyer's grip. He had his arms around her and their legs were intertwined too. Kate looked at him and ran her fingernails lightly up and down his back. He opened his eyes slowly and smiled at her.

"Mornin'," he whispered.

"Good morning," she said, leaning toward him and kissing him softly. "I'm gonna go to the doctor."

"What for?" he asked. "Something wrong?"

"Sawyer," she started. "I took two tests yesterday and I thought both of them were negative. But then you come in and tell me that it was positive. I have to be sure. I'm gonna go get a for real blood test. I need to be sure."

"Kate," he whispered and ran his hand over her face and neck. "Do you really need to know?"

"What do you mean?" she asked. "Of course I need to know. Sawyer-if I'm pregnant-it's gonna be hard enough with Aaron-I need-I need to prepare myself."

"Kate I'm gonna be here for you," he told her. "We can do this together. If you're pregnant, you won't have to worry about anything."

Kate put her head against his shoulder. He ran his hand up her back and pushed her away slightly. He pressed his lips to hers and wrapped his arms around her tightly.

"Stay," he whispered. "Stay in bed all day with me."

"Oh," she shook her head. "Ok."

She leaned toward him again and kissed him. He ran his fingers through her hair, which was tangled from sleeping on it. She rolled over on top of him and straddled his stomach.

"You wanna slide down a little further?" he asked seductively. She smirked at him and bent down to kiss him again. He pulled her shirt up over her head. She smiled down at him, as he pushed her up to admire her body. He put his hand against her stomach and she sighed softly.

"Well that'll be ruined in a few months…if I'm pregnant," she said softly.

"I think you'll be the sexiest pregnant woman ever," he stated.

"Hmm," she grunted and then chuckled. "You say that now, but when I'm 8 months pregnant, and huge, I bet you won't feel that way."

"Baby, I wouldn't care what you looked like," he stated. "You'd be sexy no matter what."

She bent back down and kissed him. The only thing between them was Kate's underwear and Sawyer's boxers. She breathed softly as he pulled her underwear down. She didn't moan loudly like she normally did. Instead she continued to breath deeply, trying to be as quiet as possible. He rolled over on top of her, and pulled his boxers down.

"Freckles," he whispered. As he started moving down toward her, the baby started crying in the other room. Kate breathed out a soft sigh and he shook his head. "Let him cry."

"W-what?" she said softly. "James, we can't."

"Babies cry," he shook his head. He pushed into her and she let out her breath. She panted softly and he kissed her neck and cheeks. The only sound between them was their breaths and the sound of their lips smacking. He quickened his pace, and they both came. Neither of them could hear the baby crying. Kate smiled at Sawyer and shook her head.

"I guess you were right," she whispered. "Let him cry."

As soon as Kate spoke the baby started crying again, and this time they both knew that he wasn't going to stop. Sawyer grumbled and rolled out of the bed. He pulled his boxers on, and Kate tossed her robe around her body. They went into Aaron's room, and Sawyer picked him up.

"I'm gonna go take a shower and leave," Kate whispered, wrapping her arms around Sawyer from behind.

"I can come with you," he offered. "We can leave Aaron with Margo…I'm sure she'd like it."

"Do you really want to come?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "We're gonna find out if you're having a baby Kate."

2 hours later Kate and Sawyer were waiting in a room. Kate was sitting on the examining table in a thin paper gown. When the doctor took her blood Sawyer held her hand even though she told him that she didn't need him to.

"I'm scared," Kate whispered.

"Of what?" he asked, scooting the chair next to her. "I already told you that I ain't goin' no where."

"I know," she nodded. "I'm scared because of-I thought I was pregnant, and then I didn't, and then I did, I just-I don't want to be disappointed again."

"So are you hoping for a positive or negative?" Sawyer asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged.

"Really," he chuckled.

"What do you think?" she asked.

"Well it might be kinda fun," he answered. "I dunno…you can go shopping for baby clothes with your friends. Some of those clothes are damn cute. Margo bought Aaron a whole bag of clothes."

"You're adorable," she whispered and leaned forward. She kissed his lips and the door opened.

"Katherine Austen?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah," she nodded.

"Do you mind if a medical student comes and observes while I talk to you?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked.

"Well we have a grad student here today," she answered. "He's been observing different aspects of the job."

"Sure," she shrugged. "Are you going to be examining me at all?"

"Actually," the doctor began. "Jack, Ms. Austen said that it's ok if you observe."

"Jack?" Kate asked.

"Kate?" Jack said.

"You two know each other?" the doctor asked.

"Yeah," Kate nodded.

"Alright, Jack, you know the rules…you gotta leave since you know the patient," the doctor stated. "We don't work on patients that we know."

"Ok," Kate replied. "Bye Jack."

Jack left and turned very red. Kate looked at the doctor, trying to get the answers from her.

"Ok," Sawyer sighed. "We've waited long enough. What the hell is going on? Is she pregnant or not?"

"The results were inconclusive," the doctor answered.

"What?" Kate asked. "What do you mean?"

"We did the test," she started. "But the results-we don't think you're pregnant, but you could be. When was the last time you had intercourse?"

"Today," Kate responded.

"And before that?" she asked.

"Well a few days ago," she answered. "We've been-we're sexually active."

"Ok," the doctor nodded. "When is the next time you're supposed to menstruate?"

"A week," Kate shrugged. "But I've been really sporadic lately from being on that island. I'm sure you've heard about that."

"Yeah," she responded. "Ok, well let's wait 2 weeks then, and if you haven't had your period, then come back and we'll do another blood test. Don't take another at home test because those aren't as accurate, and their kind of expensive, so don't waste your money. In that time…2 weeks, try not to have any sexual intercourse."

"Ok," Kate nodded.

After the doctor left, Kate and Sawyer left the room. Sawyer went down to the car, while Kate stayed back to pay for the appointment. She felt movement behind her, and knew that it was probably Jack. She turned toward him and smirked.

"I thought you were going to be a spinal surgeon," she said with a smirk.

"I am," he nodded. "I'm here to do clinical work. We have to work up to the hospital. But believe me…I'm at the hospital a lot too."

"So that was kinda awkward," she stated.

"Yeah," he sighed. "So you and Sawyer…I know it's really none of my business, but are you pregnant?"

"I don't know," she answered. "The results were inconclusive. I thought that blood tests were the most accurate way to find out if your pregnant."

"Well we just want to be sure," Jack replied. "Actually there's nothing that is totally accurate for sure…you just kinda have to wait till your belly starts growing. Because even if you miss a period, that has happened before. We had a patient a couple weeks ago who was 9 weeks late, and the blood test results said that she wasn't pregnant. Couple days later she called and said she had her period. So it's just-everything will work out Kate."

"I don't know if I want to be pregnant," she shrugged. "I do, and I don't-I do, but it's going to be so hard with two babies."

"Well you know that anytime either of you need help we're just next door," he answered. "My mom would love to help you. She loves babies. My dad always told her she should become a nurse in the nursery, but she never had the patience for med school."

"I should get going," Kate whispered, noticing the time. "Sawyer's waiting for me. But maybe we'll have you and your mom over for dinner sometime soon. Your dad too, I mean if he's not too busy."

"I'd like that Kate," he responded. "And good luck. I'm sure everything will work out."

On the way back home Kate and Sawyer were silent. Sawyer looked over at Kate, and took her hand in his.

"2 weeks?" he asked. "I don't know if I'll be able to contain myself Freckles."

Kate let out a chuckle and nodded.

"Yeah," she whispered. "But she said intercourse. There's plenty of other fun we can have."

"I guess you're right," he answered

**A/N: Please Review!? **


	30. Chapter 30

**2 Weeks Later**

Kate hadn't had her period yet. She was sitting in the examining room by herself. Sawyer was at home with Aaron because Margo couldn't take care of him that day. Kate was sitting with her hands folded. The door opened and Kate sat up quickly and then sunk back down when she saw Jack.

"Kate," Jack started. "Sorry…I didn't mean to disappoint you with coming here."

"I'm not disappointed," Kate chuckled. "What's up?"

"Well I don't have your results, I'm just in here to keep you company while we wait," he answered.

"Jack," she laughed. "Don't you have patients?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "Someone just told me I have horrible bedside manner, so I'm taking a break."

"Ok," she nodded and smiled. "Thanks."

"So where's Sawyer?" he asked. "I saw you come in by yourself. It's been 2 weeks since we've talked."

"Sawyer's at home with Aaron," she answered.

"Oh," he whispered. "I thought-you kinda looked upset."

"We didn't break up," she responded. "And I'm not upset…I'm just nervous."

"About what?" he asked. "I think you're already doing a great job with Aaron."

"Have you ever even seen me with him?" she questioned. "I don't know if I'm doing a good job, but that's not what makes me nervous. I don't know if this is really what Sawyer wants. I don't even know if it's what I want. I mean I'm only 19. I haven't even had any time to have any fun."

"Well you know," Jack started. "People can still have fun after they have kids."

"Yeah, but most 19 year olds I know are at college," she answered. "They're partying and drinking, and staying out till 3:00 in the morning."

"You and Sawyer will be fine," he said.

"Thanks," she whispered. "Will you stay here when they give me the results? I mean as my friend?"

"Sure," he nodded.

"Ms. Austen?" the nurse asked.

"Yeah," Kate replied, turning toward the nurse.

"We have your results," she stated. "Jack-"

"I want him to stay," Kate interrupted. "I just want someone here with me."

"Where's your boyfriend?" the nurse asked. "Is everything alright-"

"Jeez," Kate whispered. "Just because my boyfriend isn't here, that means that something happened? My boyfriend has a son. He's at home with the baby because we couldn't find a babysitter. He would have taken the baby with him, but Aaron has a little fever, and we didn't want to bring him into the hospital."

"See Kate," Jack smiled. "You're going to be a great mom."

"If I'm pregnant," she murmured.

"You are," the nurse answered. "Congratulations."

Kate looked at Jack and half smiled. Jack smiled too, but Kate had a feeling he wasn't exactly happy for her. She stopped smiling and stood up.

"Thank you," she whispered, and hugged the nurse.

She drove back home and into the driveway. Sawyer was sitting on the porch with Aaron on his lap. Kate saw Sawyer whisper something into Aaron's ear, and then waved Aaron's hand at Kate. Kate got out of the car and walked up the steps.

"Hi mommy," Sawyer said still waving Aaron's hands.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked. "Aaron has a fever. He should be inside."

"Fever's down," he answered. "So? You gonna have a ruined figure or what."

Kate let out a chuckle and nodded. He stood up and stepped toward her. He kissed her on the lips and she took the baby from him. Aaron grabbed on to Kate's hair and she chuckled and pulled her hair out of his fist. Sawyer smiled at her and they went back inside.

"You ready?" he asked.

"No," she laughed. "But Jack assured me."

"Jack?" he whispered. "Jack was there?"

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "He was just there. I wanted him to stay. He told me I'd make a great mom."

"Freckles," he started. He took Aaron from her and put him down in the high chair, and then turned back toward Kate. "You already are a great mom."

"I know," she nodded. "I know. But this time it's different."

"How?" he asked.

"I have this tiny life growing inside of me," she answered. "It's just weird."

"Have you ever been pregnant?" he whispered, stepping toward her and putting his hands on her hips and pulling her toward him.

"No," she shook her head. "I've had a few scares though."

"You like Jack don't you?" he asked softly, stroking her hair and pulling her even closer.

"Sawyer," she whispered and shook her head. Before she could say again, he kissed her lips slowly. He ran his hands up her neck and back down her back. She sighed softly and shook her head again.

"Sawyer," she repeated. "I don't like Jack. I don't love him, I don't want him. I love you Sawyer. And I'm having your baby. This baby has nothing to do with Jack, and everything to do with us. Is there anything else I can say to convince you"

He kissed her again and put her hands on her cheeks.

"Nothing," he answered softly.

He ran his hands up the back of her shirt and she moaned softly. He deepened the kiss, and then backed away. He kissed her quickly and continued to give her soft pecks on the lips. She smiled at him and kissed him back. She sighed softly and he pushed her gently against the kitchen table. She laid down and he leaned over her. She wrapped her legs around him and looked up at him.

"Tell me you love me," she breathed

"I love you," he said. She chuckled softly and he leaned back down to kiss her. They both moaned and Kate let out her breath. She was breathing heavily trying to get enough air.

"Sawyer," she moaned softly. "Sawyer wait."

"W-what?" he asked. She looked over at Aaron who had his fist in his mouth and was cooing softly. He grumbled, but stood up and helped Kate stand. She went over to Aaron and picked him up.

"Hi," she cooed at him. "Hi."

"Hi," he mimicked. She quickly spun toward Sawyer and looked at him.

"Did you-"

"Yeah," Sawyer chuckled. "He just said 'Hi'. That's-he just talked."

"Are you sure that he said 'hi'?" she asked. "I mean maybe-"

"Kate we were both standin' right here," he answered. "He spoke."

She chuckled and she put her head against his shoulder.

That night Kate was laying in bed while Sawyer was trying to get Aaron to sleep. Aaron was crying loudly and not seeming to want to go down. Kate could hear Sawyer talking over the baby monitor.

"Aaron," he whispered. "Aaron go to bed, please. Mommy is all alone, and she needs company."

"James!" Kate exclaimed with laughter. She got out of bed and went into Aaron's room. She walked over to Sawyer and looked at him.

"I thought maybe it would get him to shut up," he shrugged. She took Aaron from him and sat down in the rocking chair. She rocked gently and wrapped him up in the blanket. He put his thumb in his mouth and Kate started talking.

"He likes the sound of your voice vibrating in his ear. So do you want to try?" Kate asked.

"Not unless you want him to wake back up," Sawyer answered. "Because darlin' you already got his eyelids closing."

Kate looked down at him, and Aaron was sleeping soundly.

"How the hell am I gonna get up?" Kate whispered.

"Here," he said bending over. He carefully took the baby from her arms and then placed him in the crib. He backed away carefully, and Kate stood up. When she stood up the chair creaked. She looked at the baby. He stirred slightly, but didn't wake up. She and Sawyer quietly and slowly left the room and then went to their own room.

Kate laid down first and Sawyer laid down next to her. He looked at her and then leaned forward to kiss her. He kissed her softly and ran his hand up her body, touching the skin. She lifted her shirt up over her head and leaned toward him. She was still wearing her bra, and when Sawyer went to unhook it she pushed his hand away.

"Leave it on," she whispered. She leaned over him and pressed against him. He breathed in deeply and their legs tangled together. They were both still wearing pants, but not for long. Sawyer pulled Kate's pajama bottoms off her and kissed down her body. He stopped at her stomach and put his hands against it. She breathed in deep and put her head back.

"Your hands are cold," she said softly. He put them between her legs and she gasped again.

"Let's warm them up, shall we?" he said softly into her ear.

"James," she whispered. He took his hand away and looked at her.

"Kate, I'm glad your pregnant," he stated.

"You are?" she asked. "W-why?"

"Because," he said. He rolled off of her and put his hand against her cheek. "This is our chance Freckles."

"Our chance for what?" she whispered.

"To be better," he sighed. "To be better than our parents were to us. And to be better people. I mean shit Kate, look at what we've done. I ain't done a good thing in my damn life…now I'm a dad."

"You already are a daddy," she told him. "Remember? And you're already better."

"I dunno Kate," he shrugged. "I'm just glad. Is that so awful, that I'm glad your pregnant."

"No," she chuckled and shook her head. "It's good. It's good."

"You wanna know something Freckles," he whispered. "I ain't gonna be like my daddy. I'm gonna tell Aaron he's smart, even if he's not."

"What are you talking about?" she asked.

"The reason I didn't go to college Kate, is because of my daddy," he answered.

"But I thought your dad wanted you to go to college," she responded. "Wasn't he all pissed when you decided not to go?"

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Well then he told me that it didn't surprise him because I'd never be smart enough for college. Before we moved in with you and your mom…he used to call me useless all the time…it didn't matter what I did. He beat me Kate…he thought it was my fault that my momma was dead. I hated him. I'm glad he's dead."

"James," she said softly.

"And I'm not gonna let anyone come near our family," he told her. "No one like Wayne will ever get to us. I won't let it happen."

"Oh," she sniffled. "Me neither. I-I already know that we're gonna be better than our own parents James."

"Kate," he started. "What about your dad? You never talk about him."

"He's alive," she shrugged. "But he's gone."

He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she pressed her face to his chest.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**


	31. Chapter 31

Sawyer was sitting in the living room watching TV. Aaron was sitting in a baby seat. He was wide awake and staring at Sawyer. Sawyer looked over at Aaron and reached over to take his hand. Kate was upstairs still sleeping. Sawyer had felt her tossing and turning all night so he knew that she needed the sleep. The doorbell rang and Sawyer picked up Aaron and went to the door. Margo was standing in front of him.

"Hi," he said softly.

"Hey," she smiled. "Jack told me-congratulations."

"Thanks," he smiled back. "It's weird…but I think it'll be good for both of us."

"You're really good with Aaron," Margo stated. "I mean, look at you."

Sawyer realized that he was bouncing Aaron, and didn't even know he was doing it. He stopped and looked at Aaron.

"Did you want to take him for a couple hours?" he asked. "Is that why you're here?"

"I just wanted to come say hi," she answered. "I haven't seen him in a couple weeks."

"He said his first word yesterday," Sawyer chuckled.

"Really?" she asked. "What was it?"

"Hi," Sawyer answered. "He hasn't said anything else, but-it was kinda exciting. Margo I wish that Claire were here. I wish she could see Aaron grow up…it sucks that she's gone. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to tell Aaron about his mom because he's going to think of Kate as his mom…and I want him to call her mom."

"Aaron should call Kate mommy," Margo responded. "Kate is his mom. But don't forget about Claire. I have a photo album of her…I can show him pictures of her."

"Well right now I don't think it really makes much of a difference," he stated.

"No, I mean when he gets older," she replied.

"Well don't worry Margo, there's no way in hell I'd ever forget about Claire," he said. "Do you want to spend some time with your grandson?"

"Sure," she nodded. He handed her the baby and then started shutting the door, but then stopped.

"Margo-" he started and then hesitated.

"Ask me anything you want Sawyer," she smiled warmly.

"My dad is dead," he sighed.

"I know," she nodded. "I'm so sorry honey."

"Well-me and Kate," he began again. "Neither of us have parents. Our baby won't have grandparents or aunts and uncles to spoil them-"

"Say no more," she shook her head. "Sawyer, I'd be happy to be grandma to your baby. And Christian will be grandpa. If Aaron's gonna be coming over to hang out, then your baby is welcome to come too."

"She's only about a month pregnant," he told her. "I don't want to get my hopes all up."

"What are you talking about?" Margo whispered.

"I'm just really scared," he whispered. "What if she loses the baby-"

"Stop that right now Sawyer," Margo interrupted. "Kate will not lose the baby. You two have lost enough in your short lives…it wouldn't be fair."

"Yeah," Sawyer mumbled and nodded. "But who said life was fair?"

"When do you want me to bring Aaron back?" she asked.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "Few hours. Kate's upstairs sleeping."

"Is she sick? Is that why you're worried?" she questioned.

"No," he shook his head. "She's fine. She's just tired. I'm only worried because it's only a matter of time before something else bad happens to us."

She patted Sawyer on the shoulder and he went back into the house and shut the door. He walked back over to the couch and sat down. He didn't hear or feel Kate walking up behind him. She put her hands against his shoulders and he gasped and jumped.

"Did I scare you?" she chuckled.

"Yeah," he said rubbing his face. Kate walked around the couch and sat down next to him.

"Did I just hear Margo?" she asked.

"Yep," he nodded. "She took Aaron for a couple hours. And don't be mad at me…but I kinda asked her if she could be grandma to baby X."

"Baby X?" she asked. He put his hand against her stomach and nodded.

"That's what I said…we don't know if it's a boy or a girl," he shrugged.

"Do you want to know when the time comes?" she whispered.

"I dunno," he stated. "Do you?"

"It would be easier to come up with a name," she replied.

"Well y'know Freckles, we could just come up with a girl name and a boy name."

"I was thinking about names upstairs," she smiled. "I was thinking of girls names. I really want a girl."

"Why is that?" he smirked and put his arm around her shoulder.

"Because I want to be a good mom to my daughter," she answered. "Plus, we already have a son. I was thinking about the name Maya."

"What does it mean?" Sawyer asked.

"I dunno," she shrugged. "I just like it."

"What are you gonna do if we have a boy?" he inquired.

"Well I'll love him," she answered.

"Well what are you gonna name him?" he asked.

"I'll think of something," she replied. "You really have no interest in naming our baby?"

"I never said that," he stated. "How about Claire?"

"Claire?" she asked.

"If we have a girl," he answered. "Can we name her Claire?"

"Do you really hate the name Maya that much?" she asked.

"Do you really hate the name Claire that much?" he scoffed. "Kate, I never said that I hated the name Maya, all I asked was if you knew what the name meant. Claire is dead Kate…I just thought maybe we could name our baby Claire to honor her."

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "You're right. I just- I'm not even a month pregnant Sawyer. What if-"

"I just said the same damn thing," he chuckled. "Margo told me not to even think it, so I'm gonna tell you the same thing. Kate, you and the baby are going to be fine."

"Don't jinx it!" she exclaimed. He let out a soft chuckle and she leaned toward him. She kissed his lips and he kissed her back. She wrapped her legs around him, and then laid back on the couch, bringing him with her. He hovered over her and made sure he didn't put any of his weight on her. He kissed her gently and ran his hand up her stomach to her breasts.

"Make love to me," she whispered. "We haven't in 2 weeks."

"Yeah I remember that," he answered.

"Well I thought we were gonna last night, but then you started rambling about how glad you are that I'm pregnant," she smirked.

"I could be really pissed," he said softly.

"No you couldn't," she shook her head. "You already told me that you were happy…and besides that…it's not my fault that I'm pregnant. It's yours."

"Oh really?" he asked, bending down and kissing her.

"Yes," she answered softly. "I didn't impregnate myself. It's your fault."

"So it's my fault that you climb on me every night?" he asked. "Am I just that irresistible?"

"Well you know that you are," she chuckled. "But you're just as guilty of being overly aggressive."

"Sorry darlin'," he whispered.

"Don't be," she shook her head. "I've loved every minute of it. But I am so horny right now Sawyer."

He pulled her pajama pants down and continued to kiss her. He moved slowly and carefully. She knew that it was partially because she was pregnant, because she knew that he was just as eager as her to have sex.

Kate sat around the house the rest of the day in her pajamas. She had a pair of pajama bottoms and a tank top on. Sawyer kept giving her looks which made her smile. Margo brought Aaron back, and Sawyer offered her to stay for lunch, but she refused.

Kate was sitting on the couch with Aaron on her lap. He looked up at her and she smiled.

"Can you say momma?" she asked. "Momma. Momma momma momma."

"Hi," Aaron said. Kate chuckled and kissed him on the forehead.

"He's going to be saying momma by tomorrow," Sawyer told her, sitting down next to her.

"He's not mine," she whispered. "But I love him so much Sawyer. Every day I feel like-I dunno I feel more and more like he's my son."

"Kate, you've been his mom now for over a month," he said softly. "You need to stop being so-you need to just relax and accept the fact that you are his mom now."

"Yeah," she nodded. Aaron stuck his thumb in his mouth and leaned against Kate's chest.

**A/N: Please review!**


	32. Chapter 32

**3 Weeks Later**

Sawyer was planning on taking Kate to the beach for the weekend. He was going to leave Aaron with the Shephard's. Kate was packing her bags. She didn't know why Sawyer all the sudden wanted to go to the beach, especially because they had spent nearly 7 months on the island. Sawyer insisted that it would be a great weekend. He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her. She smiled and swayed back and forth.

"You're so sexy," he whispered into her ear.

"You won't be saying that in a couple months," she chuckled.

"Why do you keep doing that?" he asked, turning her around to face him. "I know I'm a jerk, but I'll still love you and still think you're gorgeous when you look like an elephant."

"Thanks," she half scoffed, but smiled.

"You ready yet?" he asked.

"I dunno Sawyer," she shook her head. "Do you think we should leave Aaron alone? He's so little."

"He's little enough to not even remember that we left him," he answered. "Besides, he'll be fine. Margo will take good care of him. We deserve this Kate. We deserve to celebrate the fact that you're pregnant. We deserve this Kate."

"Ok," she nodded. She lifted herself up on her toes and kissed his lips.

* * *

Sawyer drove them to the beach. It was an hour and a half drive. Sawyer let Kate control the radio. She held his hand and when they got to the hotel Sawyer escorted her to the top floor.

"Sawyer-" she started.

"What?" he asked. "Our parents were rich…we're allowed to use their money…they're dead remember?"

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Sorry," he mumbled. "I just wanted this weekend to be amazing. So we're in the most expensive suite."

He opened the door and she jumped into his arms, wrapping her legs around him. He carried her into the hotel and they kissed.

"Ok," Sawyer mumbled through the kiss. "We're here to go to the beach."

"Well you spent a lot of money on this hotel room," she whispered. "So let's make the most of it."

He set her back down and shook his head.

"Well I'm starving," he told her. "So let's go down to the beach where I had the hotel set up the perfect picnic."

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "What is all this about?"

"Nothing," he shrugged. "Like I said…we're young and we deserve to celebrate our new baby."

Kate and Sawyer went down to the beach where there was a table and chairs set up. There was a bouquet of yellow flowers sitting on the table. Sawyer pulled out Kate's chair for her and then sat down across from hers.

"Suddenly I'm starving too," Kate smiled. "Sawyer-"

"If you ask one more time what this is all about," he chuckled. "I don't have anything else to say. This weekend is just about us getting away from Aaron. As much as I love him, if he doesn't start sleeping through the night soon, I'm going to-"

"He's a baby Sawyer," she answered. "Of course he's going to cry. And get ready because in 7 months we're going to have two."

"I'm ready," he whispered. "Are you?"

She reached across the table and put her hands in his. He squeezed her hands, and then moved over toward her.

"Do you want to go in the water?" he whispered.

"No," she shook her head.

"Too bad," he answered. He picked her up and she screamed. He carried her to the water, and she shook her head.

"Sawyer!" she yelled. "Don't!"

"Why not?" he asked. She glared at him and he set her down. "You're a party pooper."

"You're it," she chuckled, and shoved him. She ran down the beach and Sawyer ran after her. He caught up with her and picked her up again.

"Oh, you're asking for it now," he whispered. He ran into the water with Kate and threw her in with all her clothes on. She stood up and wiped the water off her face.

That night they were laying in bed. Kate still thought that there was an ulterior motive to why they were in the most expensive hotel suite, and why they were taking an entire weekend to be by themselves, but Sawyer continued to insist that it was nothing. Kate was running her fingers lightly over Sawyer's chest. He rolled them over on their sides and looked at her. She smiled widely at him and shook her head.

"What should we do tomorrow?" she asked.

"Oh I've got the whole day planned," he responded. "We'll wake up and go on a morning walk on the beach, and then we're gonna go out to lunch . After that we'll lay on the beach all day so you can work on your tan. Then tomorrow night we'll make use of this expensive hotel room."

She smiled at him and kissed him softly and slowly. He rolled over on top of her and put his hands against her shoulders. He kissed her chest and neck and shoulders.

"I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she said softly.

The next morning they did what Sawyer promised they would. Sawyer woke Kate up with kisses and they took a shower together, and then went for a walk on the beach. Kate carried her sandals and let the waves wash up on her feet. They were walking hand in hand. They went out to lunch, and then went back down to the beach. Kate laid on her stomach and watched all the people. There was a group of kid squealing and running from the water. Kate smiled as she watched. There was family building a sand castle. A baby who looked like he was just learning how to walk walked through the sand castle and ruined it.

"No Tommy!" the little girl exclaimed. "Daddy, he ruined it!"

"It's ok," the dad answered. "We'll rebuild it…it's alright."

Kate looked further down the beach and saw two boys fighting in the sand right by the water. She was pretty sure that they were brothers. They started punching each other till finally the mother came over and broke them up. Sawyer was reading, but every so often he would look down at Kate to see what Kate was doing. The sun was bright, and it made his eyes hurt. He stopped reading and laid down next to Kate.

"You doing ok?" he asked.

"Yeah," she whispered. "I just can't wait till tonight. What do you say we go upstairs and get a head start?"

He smirked at her and kissed her softly. He stood up, and then helped Kate stand. They gathered all the beach stuff and went back up to the hotel. When they went into the hotel room there was a cart of food sitting in the middle of the room.

"Sawyer," Kate chuckled. "Are you trying to fatten me up?"

"Nope," he shook his head. "Just trying to keep you healthy for the baby."

They spent the rest of the day and night in the hotel room. They watched a movie and cuddled on the couch. Sawyer kept running his hands over her stomach and she smiled at him.

"You're awesome," she said turning toward him. "I love you for doing all this. I'm so glad that you just wanted to spend some time alone with me."

"Well I always want to spend time alone with you," he whispered. "But Aaron kinda ruins that."

"James Ford," she sighed. "Your son doesn't ruin anything."

"Except for peaceful nights of sleep," he murmured.

She leaned forward and kissed his lips. She crawled over to his lap. He wrapped his arms around her and then stood up, taking her with him. He walked into the bedroom area of the suite and set her down gently on the bed. She moaned softly and kissed him deeply. He ran his hands up her shirt and she chuckled softly.

"That feels good," she whispered.

"Does it?" he asked with a smirk. "Do you like my hands?"

"I like every inch of you," she answered.

"Hmm, I like every inch of you too," he said leaning down and kissing her. She moved out of her pants and then reached her hands up his shirt. He kissed her harder and pulled her underwear off. He pulled his own pants and boxers off.

"Sawyer," she groaned. "I want you to fuck me."

"Ok," he whispered. He pushed into her slowly and carefully. She moaned loudly and he bent down farther. She sucked on his ear lobe and then ran her fingernails down his back.

"Hmm," she moaned. "Sawyer, deeper. I want to feel you."

"Can't you feel this?" he asked, touching her and moving slightly quicker.

She breathed in sharply and then let out another loud moan. He licked his lips and then leaned back down to kiss her again. She put her hand against his cheek and they watched each other. She rolled them over so she was on top. She kissed his lips and pressed herself against him.

"Kate," he whispered. She shook her head and hushed him quietly.

"Don't say anything," she moaned and moved against him. They were slippery from their sweat. They both moaned and panted. Kate slid her hands up his arms and put her mouth against his neck. They were both breathing heavily. She rolled off of him and then he pulled her next to him. He pushed her over to her side so they were facing each other. He put his hands on her face and kissed her softly.

"I got a question for you," he began.

"I knew it," she shook her head. "I knew we were here for a reason."

"Can we name the baby James if it's a boy?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," she nodded and sniffled. He put his thumbs under her eyes to wipe the tears that started to form. "I love that name."

She curled up on his chest and closed her eyes. She kissed his chest and then moved back up to his mouth. He ran his hand down her back and then pushed her back up.

"Freckles," he chuckled. "What are you doin'?"

"Kissing you," she answered obviously. She kissed him once more quickly and then put her head against his shoulder. He ran his hand down her arm and they laid still in each other's arms.

The next morning when Kate woke up the bed was empty. There was a note sitting on Sawyer's pillow. She chuckled to herself and unfolded the piece of paper.

"Come downstairs when you're ready."

She chuckled again and got out of the bed. Instead of taking a shower and getting fully ready she left the hotel room wearing her pajamas. She went down the stairs and found Sawyer sitting in the front hall at the piano. She sat down next to him and he started playing.

"What are you doing?" she asked in a whisper.

"Kate," he said stopping his playing and turning toward her. "I can't do this."

"What?" she inquired.

"This isn't working," he whispered.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Shh," he whispered. "Just let me finish-"

"No!" she exclaimed. "You brought me here for this awesome weekend just to break up with me!"

"Kate I can't-" he started. "I can't do it because-"

"Because why!?" she yelled. "Fuck you!"

She got up and started leaving, but he quickly grabbed her by the hand and pulled her back toward him. He forced her to sit down on the piano bench and knelt in front of her, holding both of her hands in his.

"Freckles," he whispered. "Freckles, I mean, I can't do this without being married to you."

"W-what?" she half sobbed, wiping her nose and her eyes.

"I think we should get married," he responded, reaching behind her and taking a box off the piano. He opened the box and a gorgeous diamond ring was staring back at Kate. "Marry me."

"You suck!" she exclaimed and sobbed and laughed all at the same time. She quickly wrapped her arms around him and pressed her face against his chest. She continued to laugh and cry and then she backed away and looked at him.

"You want the ring?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Duh," she smiled, with the tears still glinting in her eyes. She held out her hand and he slid the ring onto her finger.

"Ok," he whispered. "Now, remember how I told you to pack your best dress? Did you listen?"

"Y-yeah," she stuttered.

"Go get showered and changed."

"We're getting married right now?" she asked.

"On the beach," he answered.

"Sawyer what about-" she began.

"We have no friends or family Kate," he shrugged. "Let's just do it."

"Ok," she smiled and sniffled. "Ok."

She went upstairs without Sawyer and took her shower. She kept looking at her finger as she washed her hair and body. She got out of the shower and got dressed. She was looking at herself in the mirror. She dried her hair but let it stay curly. She went back down the stairs and Sawyer wasn't there. She saw one of the hotel clerks and walked toward her.

"Do you know where James Ford is?" she asked.

"Oh yeah," she nodded. "James is out in the beach. I take it you are his Kate. He told me to give this to you."

She handed Kate a bouquet of white lilies. Kate smiled at her and walked out the entrance to the beach. On her way down to the beach Kate walked past a bush which had tiny white flowers blooming on it. She pulled off a group of the flowers and put it in her hair. She walked down the beach and saw that Sawyer was standing near the ocean. There were a couple people standing near him. Kate figured that it was the person affiliating the ceremony and a few people for witnesses. She walked toward him and when she got there he smiled.

"Oh my God," he whispered.

"What?" she asked looking down. "Do I look ok?"

"No," he shook his head. "You look amazing Freckles."

She smiled and took his hands in hers. He mouthed the words 'I love you' to her and stepped toward her. One of the witnesses took her flowers.

"So you have your own vows?" the man standing there said.

"No," Kate said.

"Yeah," Sawyer nodded.

"What do you mean?" Kate asked. "I don't have anything-"

"Yes you do," he said softly. "But I'll go first. Kate I love you. That's all I need to know. I love you. And I want to be with you forever. I want to marry you."

"I love you too," she stated. "I love you so much. I'm so glad that we came here this weekend."

"Ok," the man affiliating the ceremony said. "Here are the rings."

Sawyer and Kate put the rings on each other's hands and they were announced husband and wife. Kate quickly stepped toward him and kissed him. He wrapped his arms around her and lifted her off the ground. She chuckled and he spun her around. He set her back down and they kept kissing. Kate came up for a breath and noticed that all the people standing around were clapping.

"Congratulations Mr. and Mrs. Ford," one of them said. They were all smiling and they all left. Kate stepped toward Sawyer again and kissed him again.

"You wanna go home," he whispered.

"Not really," she smirked.

"Well we gotta go home," he said. "We gotta tell Aaron that we're married."

She smiled at him and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

**A/N: Please please review!!!**


	33. Chapter 33

Kate waited until the beach was deserted again and then stepped toward Sawyer and kissed him again. Sawyer kissed back and then backed away.

"Let's go upstairs," she whispered and ran her hands down his back.

"You want to have sex?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded. "Of course I do. The first time as a married couple."

"Hate to burst your bubble Kate, but we gotta check out in like 10 minutes. I already had the concierge bring our bags back down."

"Oh," she frowned.

"But as soon as we get home…we'll go upstairs first, and then we'll go get Aaron," he answered.

"Ok," she nodded, but was still frowning.

Kate went into the hotel and found her bag sitting by the front desk. She opened it and got a t-shirt, and a skirt out of the bag. She changed from her fancy dress so that she wouldn't wrinkle it in the car. When she came out of the bathroom from getting changed, she saw Sawyer talking to the people at the front desk. She went over to a group of chairs and sat down to wait for him. She looked at her ring and smiled widely. She heard yelling coming from behind her and turned her head. There was a man and woman standing there yelling at each other. Kate sighed to herself and hoped that would never happen to her and Sawyer.

"Hey wifey!" Sawyer exclaimed. Kate turned and looked at him. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," she nodded, and stood up. He held out his hand and she took it. They walked to the car and Sawyer opened her door for her. On the drive home Kate kept looking at Sawyer.

"I can't believe you did that to me," she chuckled.

"Did what?" he asked.

"Made me believe you were dumping me, and then you proceeded to ask me to marry you. It wasn't very romantic," she answered.

"Well when have you ever known me as a romantic?" he whispered.

"It was awesome," she said. "I loved the way you did it. It was perfect."

"Good," he smirked.

"Pull over," she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"Pull over," she repeated.

"Why?" he questioned, but pulled over. Kate reached over and turned the car off. He looked at her like she was crazy and then she reached over and under his seat. He still wasn't exactly sure what she was doing. Kate pushed Sawyer's seat back and then climbed on his lap.

"You're crazy," he whispered and ran his hands down her face and neck.

"That's why you love me," she said, leaning forward and kissing him.

"You got that right Freckles," he replied. He kissed her and ran his hand up her shirt. She lifted her skirt up over her hips and Sawyer discovered that she wasn't wearing underwear. He moaned softly as she reached her hand into his pants.

"I love you," she whispered and lifted herself over him.

Sawyer and Kate drove home. Kate got out of the car and smiled at Sawyer almost seductively. He chuckled, and walked around the car toward her.

"You tired?" he asked.

"Not in the least," she shook her head. She walked up the steps to their house. She opened the door and Sawyer quickly grabbed her by the hand.

"I have to carry you," he told her.

"Why?" she chuckled.

"Because it's tradition," he answered. Instead of picking her up normally, he quickly grabbed her around the middle and slung her over his shoulder. She chuckled and he carried her in the house. He put her down and then cupped her face with his hands. He kissed her gently and she walked backwards. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around him. He started walking backwards and when he got to the stairs he set her down. They started up the stairs still kissing and then suddenly Kate stopped.

"Why are you stopping?" he started.

"Shh," she said, putting her hand up. "Do you hear that?"

"Hear what?" he asked, pressing his lips to hers.

"Shh!" she scolded. She started walking up the stairs, and then Sawyer heard it too. They could both hear noise coming from upstairs. Sawyer and Kate went into Aaron's room. Margo and Jack were standing in the room. Aaron was sitting on the floor babbling. Kate and Sawyer couldn't help but smile, even though their afternoon of love making was ruined. Kate knocked on the door frame and Jack looked up.

"Hey," Jack said. "You're back."

"Hey," Kate smiled. "What's up?"

"He was fussing a little," Margo answered. "We thought maybe he missed his room and his toys. Turns out he did."

"Mama!" Aaron exclaimed.

"What?!" Kate chuckled and stepped toward Margo.

"We've been practicing," Margo responded. "Well actually I've been trying to teach him to say grandma, but it's coming out mama. Here's your mama, Aaron."

Margo walked toward Kate and handed him to her. Kate smiled at Aaron and hugged him. Sawyer walked over behind Kate and took Aaron's hand.

"So he can say mama, but he can't say dada?" Sawyer asked.

"Da," Aaron said.

Kate shook her head, and looked at Sawyer. Jack had stayed quiet for most of it, but he noticed Kate's ring and stood up.

"You got engaged?" he asked, taking Kate's hand and looking at the diamond.

"Actually," Kate said, looking at Jack, and then Margo. "We got married."

"W-what?" Jack whispered.

"He tricked me," she chuckled. "We got married today."

"Wow," Margo said. "So where are you taking her on your honeymoon?"

"Well considering we have a baby and one on the way," Sawyer shrugged. "I don't think we're gonna go anywhere. Maybe we will in a couple years."

Jack was back to being speechless. Kate didn't really know what to say to him either. Jack continued to stare at her ring.

"Congratulations," he whispered. He started leaving. Kate sighed deeply and handed Aaron to Sawyer and went after Jack. Jack was half way down the steps when Kate caught up to him.

"Wait," she said.

"For what?" he asked.

"Jack," she whispered. "Jack, I'm sorry. I know this isn't easy for you."

"Don't worry about me," he replied. "Go on back up to your husband."

"Jack," she shook her head. "This wasn't planned. Well, Sawyer planned it, but I didn't know that any of it was going to happen, or I would have at least told you. What did you think was going to happen Jack? I'm pregnant with Sawyer's baby…did you think that I was going to get back together with you?"

"I had some hope I guess," he sighed. "It doesn't matter. I just-I need to get out of here."

"Jack don't do this," she sniffled. "This is the first time in a really long time…maybe in my whole life that I'm actually happy. Can't you just let me be happy?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "But if he hurts you-"

"He won't," she shook her head. "Jack, you don't know him. And you didn't see the look on his face today when we got married. He loves me Jack. And I've never really been loved."

"I love you," he murmured.

"Maybe," she nodded. "But I don't love you. Not in that way. I'm sorry. Jack, why are you doing this? You didn't act this way when you found out I was pregnant."

"I just can't do it anymore Kate," he sighed. "We'll never be friends. I can't be friends with you."

"Jack," she whispered.

"Have a nice life."

He went the rest of the way down the stairs. He left the house and slammed the door behind him. Kate scoffed and sighed and then went back upstairs. Margo and Sawyer were talking. Sawyer was holding Aaron and swaying back and forth. Kate noticed that each time Sawyer stopped moving, Aaron would start fussing again.

"Is Jack ok?" Margo asked.

"He'll be fine," Kate sighed. "He's just-he wasn't expecting me to be married when I got back."

"None of us were," Margo shook her head. "Kate, Jack…he's pretty unstable right now. He's trying to hold it together, but since-you guys were on the island for 2 months after Claire-when he came home…he blamed himself for Claire. Ever since…he's been trying to hold it together. He's been pretending that he's ok with everything, but he's not. And I know he misses you."

"Well," Kate shrugged. "He's a good guy. I love him…but I'm not in love with him."

Kate looked at Sawyer and he gave a small, weak smile. She turned back to Margo and sighed deeply. Sawyer continued to bounce Aaron. Then he started putting Aaron down. Aaron didn't just cry, but screamed as soon as Sawyer let go of him. Sawyer hadn't even finished standing up. He picked Aaron back up and sighed softly.

"You want me to take him for a minute?" Kate asked. Sawyer started handing Aaron over to Kate, and he screamed again. Sawyer chuckled and took the baby back from Kate.

"Margo, I'm sorry if I hurt Jack. It was never my intention, but he has to know that I was never going to get back together with him," Kate stated. "I know that it sounds harsh…but even before I found out I was pregnant…I just don't feel that way about him. I care about him a lot-"

"I know," Margo interrupted. "So you're married? What made you decide to do that on such a whim?"

"Been planning it for a while actually," Sawyer said with a smirk. "I just figured we might as well get married. I've been planning it since I found out she was pregnant."

"Sawyer," Kate said softly and leaned forward to kiss him.

"Well then I'll leave you two, to…well…do you want me to take Aaron for the night?" Margo asked.

"No," Kate shook her head. "I think Aaron and Sawyer need some father/son bonding."

Margo smiled as Sawyer sat down in the rocking chair with Aaron. Aaron was content on Sawyer's lap, facing out. Margo knelt in front of them and took Aaron's hands in hers.

"Bye bye Aaron," she said softly. "I'm gonna go home now."

"Mama," he giggled.

Kate smiled at Margo and hugged her somewhat awkwardly as she left. Then she went over to Sawyer and looked at the baby.

"He's getting so big," Kate whispered.

"He's gonna be a year old in a couple months," he said softly.

That night Kate was laying in bed dozing off. She had woken up so early that morning and had had a long day. Sawyer was brushing his hand across her forehead softly

"Are you happy?" he asked.

"Hmm," she mumbled softly. "Tired."

"Do you like your ring?" he whispered.

"Yes, but I'm sleeping," she grumbled and rolled over. Sawyer put his arms around her and ran his hands down her body. He half expected her to push him away but instead she moved her body backwards to push herself closer to him. She put her arms on top of his arms and moved against him.

"What are you doing?" he asked into her ear. She flipped over to face him and opened her eyes.

"All the sudden," she whispered. "I'm not so tired."

She pressed her lips to his and he kissed her back. He rolled over on top of her and pushed her arms up over her head.

"You looked so incredibly hot in that dress today," he said softly. "You want to slip back into it?"

"Not particularly," she answered. "I'd rather slip out of these clothes. You wanna help me with that?"

He chuckled and lifted her shirt up over her head. She ran her hands down the front of her body and sat up. She got on her knees and they started kissing again. He ran his hands over her body and then laid back down on top of her. She breathed in deeply and then let out her breath with a soft moan. He untied her pants slowly and slid them over her hips. She kicked her pants off the rest of the way and he made his way back up her body.

"Make love to me James," she breathed.

"What does it look like I'm doin' Freckles," he asked. She let out a soft chuckle and rewrapped her arms around him. He bent back down to kiss her and they both heard Aaron fussing in his room. Kate sighed softly and they both tried to ignore the fussing, but then it turned into full blown crying. Sawyer got off of Kate and bent down for one more soft kiss. He left the bedroom and Kate smirked to herself.

Sawyer walked into the room and picked Aaron up. Aaron stopped crying as soon as Sawyer picked him up. Sawyer sighed to himself and walked into his and Kate's bedroom carrying Aaron. She had already gotten redressed. He sat down on the bed and looked at her slightly defeated.

"I don't get it," he sighed. "How did Margo get him to shut up? He's only quiet when I hold him."

"Maybe he missed you," Kate shrugged. "But he just didn't know he missed you till you came back."

"That's cute Freckles," he chuckled.

"Well what else could it be?" she asked.

"I dunno," he responded. "Maybe we should have taken Margo up on her offer to take him tonight."

"We have the rest of our lives to have nights alone," she answered.

"Well that's not entirely true," he shook his head. "Because we've got this little monster keeping us up all night, and before we know it you're going to have the baby, and I'm sure that he won't be a sound sleeper."

"How do you know?" she asked.

"I don't," he replied. "Just a guess."

"You really want a boy don't you?" she whispered, putting her hands against her stomach.

"Why do you ask?" he said, beginning to rock Aaron back to sleep.

"You keep calling our baby a he," she answered. "It's not that hard to guess."

"Well, I bet you want a girl," he responded.

"Yeah, but only because we already have a boy," she nodded. "But if we get another boy I won't be disappointed."

"I ain't gonna lie to you Kate," he sighed. "I don't know nothing about girls. My mom died when I was 8...since then, it's just been me and my daddy."

"Sawyer," she smirked. "If you know nothing about girls then how come it's so easy for you to get them in your bed?"

"Well that settles it, if we have a girl, we're locking her in this house from the age 13 up to how old are you?"

"Sawyer," she sighed and chuckled. "You know, I bet you're not thinking that about Aaron. Or if this is a boy. You'd be proud if you had a son just like you."

"Damn right," he smirked.

"Well then I'm locking up Aaron till he's 29. He's not going to break any hearts," she stated.

"How do you know I broke hearts?" he asked with another smile.

"You break hearts just by that smile of yours," she answered, leaning toward him and kissing his lips softly. She backed away and then took the baby carefully out of his arms. Sawyer silently asked he what she was doing afraid he might wake up, but he didn't wake up. He stayed asleep as Kate took him back to his own room. She came back to the bedroom and smirked at Sawyer who was sitting up in bed. She walked toward him and lifted her shirt up over her head as she walked. She tossed it at Sawyer and he chuckled softly and put it on the ground. He moved to the edge of the bed and she crawled over on his lap. She put her hands against his cheeks and kissed his lips softly. She had one leg on either side of him and he grabbed her butt firmly.

"Touch me Sawyer," she said softly, and pulled her pants and underwear down together. He put his hands back against her bare ass, and then he moved back toward the head of the bed, bringing her with him. He flipped over on top of her and ran his hand up her leg. She moaned softly and moved against him, but he didn't touch her just yet.

"Sawyer," she moaned, half begging. He still didn't touch her, and instead ran his hands over her stomach and upper thighs. She started sitting up, but he put his hand gently against her chest and pushed her back down.

"Hold your horses," he whispered.

"How much time do we have left till Aaron is crying again?" she asked, slightly annoyed. He chuckled softly, knowing that she had a point. He started touching her softly, mostly just teasing her. She moaned softly again and he continued to touch her.

"Are you gonna come before I even put my fingers in you?" he asked. She let out another moan, this time it was loud.

"Maybe," she said. He continued to stimulate her and she started breathing rapidly. He pushed two fingers into her and she moaned his name. "James. James. Oh fuck."

He stopped and she rolled over on top of him. She pulled his boxers off and slid down on top of him. He went into her easily and she moaned again. She rolled over him and rocked her hips back and forth. He groaned and bit her collar bone softly.

"James," she moaned again. "Fuck James, James."

He grabbed her hips to guide her movements and then brought her face to his. He kissed her lips and sucked on her tongue.

"Sawyer," she moaned. He put his hand between them and started touching both of them. "James, James."

Kate continued to whisper his name into his ear. Each time she tried to get a breath deep enough, she would breathe out the name James. He moaned and rolled them over so they were laying on their sides. Kate wrapped her legs around him and pushed him in farther. She let out one final moan and came. He pushed against her once more and then pulled out of her.

"James," she moaned. "Oh my god. That was…fuck me like that tomorrow morning James."

"I don't think we can name our son James," he told her wrapping his arms around her.

**A/N: Pleaase REVIEW!!!**


	34. Chapter 34

Sawyer heard the baby crying. He moaned to himself. He was completely comfortable, and didn't want to get out of the warm bed. He rolled over toward where Kate was supposed to be, but she wasn't there. He opened his eyes and groaned again. He got out of bed and walked to Aaron's room. When he got there he found Kate sitting in the rocking chair holding Aaron. She looked tired. He picked up Aaron and thought that it would stop Aaron from crying, but he didn't.

"I dunno what's wrong with him," Kate mumbled softly. "I came in here and he just won't stop crying. I changed him, and tried to feed him."

"I see what the problem is," he said. "He's getting a tooth. Here hold him, while I go get the teething ring."

"Sawyer, you have to freeze it first," she answered.

"Oh yeah," he sighed. "Ok, well then I'll just go get something cold for him to chew on. What should I get? I don't know what to do."

"Here," she whispered. She took Aaron from Sawyer and put her finger in Aaron's mouth. He stopped crying almost immediately and started sucking on Kate's finger. Aaron didn't go back to sleep that night. Kate and Sawyer took turns holding him and sleeping.

Sawyer was sitting in the rocking chair, rocking slowly, and Kate was in the bedroom. As Sawyer rocked the motion of it was beginning to put himself to sleep. He fell asleep holding Aaron. When he woke up the sun was starting to come up. He cringed before looking down at Aaron, hoping that he was sleeping. Thankfully when he looked down Aaron was fast asleep. Sawyer stood up and put Aaron in the crib. He walked back into the bedroom, to get a few more hours of sleep before Aaron was awake for good.

When he went into the bedroom, he heard Kate moaning. He smirked to himself and walked further into the room. Kate was on her back with the covers over her, but Sawyer knew exactly what she was doing. He heard a soft buzzing sound and smiled wider. Kate's eyes were closed, and she moaned again.

"Hmm," she moaned softly and started breathing heavier. "Yes."

"Havin' fun Freckles?" he asked. She opened her eyes and nodded.

"I always do," she said. Sawyer watched her moving her hands faster. He heard the buzzing getting more rapid and walked toward her.

"What are you using?" he whispered.

"Girl's best friend when her man is away," she answered.

"Well I'm right here," he told her and crawled over on top of her. He put his weight on top of her and inadvertently pushed the vibrator further in. She gasped excitedly and he reached his hand under the covers and pulled the vibrator away from her. He couldn't figure out how to turn it off which made her giggle, but instead he put it between them and laid down on top of her. The vibrator was resting on her stomach, still turned on. He ground his hips against her and he became hard. The vibrations between them made the sensation even better.

"You're so big," she moaned, tossing her head back. "You're bigger than my toy, I have to get used to you."

He pulled his boxers down and pushed carefully and slowly into her. She let out a low, but quite loud moan.

"Shh," he said, putting his mouth over hers. "You'll wake up Aaron."

"Oh," she moaned again. She continued to moan, but this time it was softer. He licked her neck and up to her mouth. She kissed him and looked up at him.

"I want more kids," she whispered.

"Well baby, you're already pregnant," he chuckled. "What more to you want?"

"I'm so wet," she shook her head, ignoring his question.

"Yes you are," he nodded, bending down and kissing her neck again. Suddenly Kate's face changed. It changed from being aroused, to a frown. And then tears appeared. "Freckles? Freckles? What-are you ok?"

He started rolling away from her, but she locked her legs behind him to keep him on top of her. She shook her head and ran her hands down his back.

"I'm fine," she sniffled. "Keep going."

"Kate," he said, slowing down completely and running his hand over her forehead.

"No," she said, flipping them over and sitting on top of him. She stayed sitting up and closed her eyes. She moved against him and moaned again. She came, and laid down on top of him. He felt her tears falling on his chest.

"Freckles," he whispered. He got out from underneath her and pushed her over to look at her. "Freckles, tell me what's the matter."

"I'm tired," she shook her head and closed her eyes. "Let's get some sleep before Aaron wakes up."

"Kate," he started.

"Sawyer, I'm tired, and I'm going to go to bed," she interrupted. "I really just don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone."

Sawyer sighed deeply, but let her go to sleep. The next morning which was only a few hours later. Sawyer woke up and found the bed empty again. He walked to Aaron's bedroom, and Aaron wasn't in the crib. He went downstairs, and Kate was feeding Aaron some baby food. He sat down at the table, and Kate smiled at him.

"Sorry, I didn't have time to make anything, but we have cereal I think," she said. Sawyer stood back up and went to the cupboard. He poured himself some cereal and watched Kate feed Aaron.

"You ok Kate?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she shrugged. "Why do you ask?"

"This morning," he said.

"This morning we had some really hot sex," she answered. "It was amazing. I can't wait till tonight when we can do it again. Maybe we should call Margo and have her take Aaron so we can be as loud as we want."

"Kate-" he started.

"I'm fine," she smiled.

That night Kate called Margo to come get Aaron. When Margo came to get Aaron, Kate told her that they just needed some sleep, but Margo knew better. Sawyer wanted to talk to Kate about what had happened early that morning. Sawyer was sitting on the edge of the bed waiting for her. She walked into the room and smiled widely.

"Kate-" he started, but before he could finshed she jumped on him. She quickly went to his belt and she started kissing him. He kissed her back, but moved his face from away from her. "Freckles, stop."

"Why?" she moaned. "Aaron's not here, we can be loud and we don't have to stop."

"Freckles, talk to me," he said.

"Ok," she whispered into his ear and reached into his pants. "I want to give you a blow job, and then I want you to come into my mouth."

"Kate," he moaned. He was trying not to pay attention to what she was saying because it wasn't exactly what he had in mind.

"Are you hard?" she asked. "Or do you need help?"

She reached into his boxers, and found that he didn't need any help. She pulled his pants down and went down his body. He quickly got out from underneath her and got on top of her.

"Freckles," he whispered.

"Ok, we can fuck first," she said breathing more rapidly.

"Kate, tell me what the hell is going on?" he asked.

"What's going on is that I want to have sex with my husband," she answered simply. She pulled her underwear off and started touching herself. "Touch me Sawyer."

He sighed and rolled off of her. She looked at him and he left the room. She chuckled to herself and followed him. She grabbed him by the arm and pulled him toward her.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"You've got that damn vibrator," he scoffed. "Use that."

"Well I want you," she answered running her hand down his arm and back into his boxers. "And you need me. Or are you just gonna go to the bathroom to get this raging hard on to go away."

She started touching him softly. He closed his eyes and then couldn't handle it anymore. He grabbed her by the arms and guided her back into the bedroom. He started touching her and she screamed loudly.

"Shh," he chuckled.

"No," she moaned loudly. "I can be loud if I want to."

Sawyer pulled his boxers off and pushed into her. He was rough, and gentle all at the same time. They spent the night making love and doing stuff to each other. Each time Sawyer thought that Kate was sleeping, she would start up again.

It was a few days later, and something very similar happened. Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed, and all the sudden she rolled toward him and started giving him a hand job. She ran her hand over him and kissed him so that neither of them were coming up for air.

"Fuck," he moaned and bit down gently on her lip.

"I want you behind me," she said, flipping over so they were on their sides. Kate backed up toward Sawyer and he grabbed her hips. She moaned and her moans started sounding weird. She was crying again, but trying her best to mask her sobs through her moans.

"Babe," he said, kissing her neck. "Freckles."

"Don't," she said. "No. Get off."

She pushed him away and moved to the edge of the bed. Sawyer sighed deeply and flipped her toward him.

"Sawyer, you know what," she started. "I can go back to my own room you know."

"So why don't you?" he asked with a frown, not really wanting her to leave at all, but hoping it would make her tell him what was wrong. She frowned too and leaned toward him. She put her head against his chest and started shaking. Sawyer knew that she was crying.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed.

"Freckles, don't," he whispered. "Don't cry baby. It's ok sweetness. What happened?"

"I'm so scared," she breathed. "I'm so scared I'm going to mess all this up."

"Mess what up?" he asked.

"I'm so scared of having this baby," she answered.

"You said that you wanted to have more babies," he argued. "Do you remember that? Couple nights ago, that first night that you started crying? You said that you wanted more kids."

"Yeah, I remember," she whispered. "I want this baby more than anything in the world but I'm so scared."

"Scared of what Freckles," he asked.

"I was so tired the other morning," she responded. "And I'm just scared I won't be able to handle two babies."

"I'm here Freckles," he whispered. "Maybe it don't mean much, but I ain't goin' nowhere. I'm going to help you. We can do it in shifts like 2 nights ago with Aaron. You can sleep while I take care of the kids."

"And I'm really worrying about money," she breathed and wiped her own tears away.

"Sweetheart, don't worry about that," he said. "We've got a ton of money, and neither of us have to even work. We're gonna be just fine. And we've got our parents life insurance."

"Well actually," she sighed. "My mom didn't have life insurance. And your dad's life insurance is invalid since he-I mean you don't get any money when the person-"

"Kills themselves," he mumbled. "Yeah…I forgot. Shit. But it's ok Kate, because my dad has a ton of money…he wouldn't just leave your mom with nothing."

"If he thought she was going to die-"

"Why would he have left her a note if he thought she was going to die?" Sawyer interrupted. "Kate, believe me…we're gonna be fine, for at least a little while."

She kissed him and shook her head.

"My stomach hurts," she whispered.

"The baby?" he asked quickly.

"No," she shook her head. "I just feel like I'm going to puke."

"Well come on," he whispered. He helped her into the bathroom, and not a moment too soon. She knelt by the toilet and threw up. He patted her on the back, and then he could hear Aaron crying. He sighed softly and didn't know if he should stay with Kate, or go to Aaron. He didn't want to leave Kate, so he decided to let Aaron cry. Kate threw up again and then sat down.

"Fuck," Kate said. "Goddamn baby."

"Hey," Sawyer scoffed. "Aaron is not-"

"Not Aaron," she sighed.

"Oh," he said softly. "Kate, this can't be morning sickness-"

"Why because it's not morning?" she asked. "Well let me tell you that, morning sickness is a false term-"

"No," he interrupted. "Because you haven't thrown up even once since you've been pregnant, and now you're 2 months along, isn't that when morning sickness is supposed to stop."

"How do you know?" she whispered, wiping her mouth and standing up to rinse her mouth with water.

"That baby book sittin' on your nightstand. Kate, I promise you, everything is going to be alright," he said. He could still hear Aaron crying and he sighed again.

"And that too," she sniffled.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "'And that too?' What are you talking about?"

"What if both babies are crying at once?" she asked. "You're in here taking care of me, and the baby is crying, how are we gonna-"

"Kate," he began. "There's going to be two of us taking care of both babies, now if you end up having 5 or 6 at a time, then we'll be outnumbered, but for now, we're gonna be fine…I promise you."

"Ok," she breathed. "You're right. I'm sorry, I just-I'm ok."

She walked back to the bedroom and Sawyer followed her. He helped her put her pajamas on and put her into bed. They could both still hear Aaron crying. Sawyer sighed softly and looked down at Kate.

"Will you be alright for a minute while I go take care of Aaron?" he asked. "I'm just gonna give him the teething ring that I put in the freezer earlier. Hopefully that will be all I have to do. I'll be back soon."

"No," she shook her head. "It's ok Sawyer. Take your time. Go be a good dad."

When Sawyer came back into the room Kate was sleeping, or at least she looked like she was sleeping. He laid down next to her and took a deep breath.

"Sawyer," she whispered. He flipped toward her and wrapped his arms around her. She put her head against his shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

"It's alright Kate," he said softly. "You're fine."

"I'm just tired," she sniffled.

"Well then get some rest. You need to sleep for the baby," he said stroking her cheek softly. She let out a small chuckle and closed her eyes.

**A/N: Plleeeeasse Review!**


	35. Chapter 35

**2 Months Later**

Kate was doing better, but every so often Sawyer would find her crying. She always tried to hide it, so Sawyer always left her alone about it. The real reason why she cried was because she was scared of having the baby, but she also missed Jack. She knew that she had to leave Jack alone, but she missed his friendship, and she wished that he could get over the fact that she got married so that they could be friends again. She also missed her dad. She hadn't seen her dad in 10 years, since before her mom was with Wayne. She wanted him to know that he was a grandpa. Sawyer knew that it had something to do with her dad because he would often find her showing pictures to Aaron.

It was Aaron's first birthday. Kate was 5 months pregnant. She was getting ready to have a small party. There were a couple moms from the park that she was inviting, along with Margo and Christian. She told Margo that Jack could come too, but she wasn't going to hold her breath. She was decorating for the party while Sawyer went to get a cake. When he came home Kate was standing on a chair putting up streamers.

"Kate!" he exclaimed.

"What?" she gasped, nearly falling off the chair. She got off the chair and he walked toward her.

"What were you doing?" he asked.

"I was putting up decorations," she answered. "What's the big deal?"

"Kate, you're 5 months pregnant," he told her.

"Really?" she asked sarcastically and with a laugh. "I hadn't noticed." She started walking away from him to finish putting up the decorations and he grabbed her gently by the arm.

"You shouldn't be standing on a chair like that," he whispered. "What if you had fallen? Especially since I wasn't home…I mean-"

"Sawyer, I'm fine," she sighed.

"I know," he mumbled. "But you're not fine…Kate, I did something. Don't be mad at me ok?"

"What?" she scoffed.

"Promise me you won't be mad first," he replied.

"I can't promise anything till you tell me what you did," she answered.

"OK," he nodded. "Fair enough. The past couple months…I've seen you. I've been watching you."

"Creepy," she smirked, but was still waiting for him to tell her what he did.

"You've been looking at those photo albums from when you were a little girl. Those pictures of you and your dad," he started.

"So?" she asked. "Who cares? I've been looking at pictures. I'm showing Aaron that he has another grandparent other than Margo and Christian."

"Hey," he whispered. "It's ok. I think it's good that you're showing Aaron pictures of you. I just-I have this feeling that you're missing your dad a lot. Maybe that's why you've been so depressed lately."

"I'm not," she scoffed. "I'm not depressed."

"I tracked him down," he said softly.

"What?" she asked.

"I tracked your dad down," he replied. Sawyer opened the door and her dad walked through the door.

"Daddy," she whispered.

"Hey Katie," he smiled. She ran toward him and flung her arms around him. She sobbed on to his shoulder and Sawyer smiled too. He heard Aaron fussing in the other room and went to get him. When he came back Kate and Sam were sitting on the couch together. Sam had his hand against Kate's stomach.

"My little girl is having a baby?" he asked.

"Didn't Sawyer tell you?" she whispered and wiped her tears away.

"Yeah, but I didn't believe it," he chuckled. "How are you Katie?"

"I'm alright," she nodded. "I'm scared."

"Sawyer seems like a great guy," he replied. "I mean he came to me and told me that you needed me. He's worried about you Katie."

"He is a great guy," she whispered. "He's the best. And I love him so much."

"He loves you too," Sam said. "I can tell by the way he lit up when he was talking about you…a-and Aaron...kinda the way I used to whenever I talked about you and your mom."

"Dad?" Kate began. "Daddy why did you leave? Why didn't you fight for my mom?"

"Because she didn't love me," he stated. "Sweetheart, I would have been here for you, but your mom asked me to leave her alone."

"But what about me?" she sniffled. "I needed a dad."

"I'm so sorry," he sighed. "I shouldn't have-I just thought that it would be better if I wasn't here. I thought it would be too hard."

"Daddy I missed you," she whispered.

"I missed you too Katie," he said rewrapping his arms around her.

"Mama!" Aaron exclaimed. Sawyer came into the room and carried Aaron to where Sam and Kate were sitting.

"Sam, this is your grandson," Sawyer stated.

"Hi Aaron," Sam smiled and took Aaron's hand. Sawyer handed Aaron to Sam, and Aaron started whining slightly.

"Here, Kate take him," Sam said awkwardly.

"No," Kate shook her head. "Dad it's ok. Hold him. He's ok. He just gets scared around strangers sometimes."

"Well, then he's nothing like his mother," Sam chuckled. "You used to run away from me and your mom. You would go up to complete strangers and talk to them."

"Well dad," she started. "He's not really mine. He's Claire's. Claire's and Sawyer's."

"I'm gonna go get ready for the party," Sawyer said. "Let you two get caught up."

He took the baby back from Sam and went upstairs. He changed his own clothes, and then he went to change Aaron's diaper. He was standing in Aaron's room and he felt someone come up behind him. Kate wrapped her arms around him from behind and he turned around.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much for loving me that much. How did you know-"

"I told ya," he shook his head. "I've been watching you. I knew that if you had just a little family around you'd get better."

She wrapped her arms around him again and kissed him softly. He kissed her back and she reached her hand up the back of his shirt.

"Freckles," he chuckled. "We gotta get back down there."

"I love you," she whispered, putting her arms around his neck. "Thank you."

He leaned forward and kissed her again, and then backed away and picked up Aaron.

During the party everyone seemed to be having a good time. Margo came alone because Christian was working. Kate was standing in the kitchen getting the cake ready for Aaron. She had Sawyer get two cakes. A big one for everyone to eat, and then a small one for Aaron to mess up. She put a single candle in the smaller cake for Aaron to try to blow out. As she was standing in the kitchen she heard the doorbell ring.

"I'll get it!" Sawyer called. She turned back toward Aaron who was sitting in his highchair already. He was giggling at Margo and Sam because they were both making silly faces at him. Sawyer and the rest of the guests came into the kitchen and Kate turned around and saw Jack standing behind Sawyer.

"Jack?" she asked.

"Thought I'd come," he shrugged. "I mean it's not every day that my nephew turns a year old."

"I'm glad you came," she smiled. She set the cake down in front of Aaron and lit the candle. Aaron quickly went to touch it, and she caught his hand before he touched the flame.

"No," she said. "Don't touch it."

He went to grab the flame again and she held both his hands down and looked at Sawyer.

"Way to go Kate," Sawyer chuckled. "He's gonna burn his fingers off before he even has his first taste of chocolate."

"Shut up," she scoffed, but smiled. "Let's just sing."

They sung happy birthday and Aaron took nearly 2 full minutes to blow the candle out.

"Should we help him?" Kate asked Sawyer.

"He's thinkin' of a wish," Sawyer informed her. She nodded and then Sawyer blew out the candle. Kate took the candle away and looked at Aaron. Aaron kept his hands on his lap. Since Kate had been holding them there for so long he didn't know that he could now touch the cake.

"Go ahead," Kate said softly. Aaron still sat there looking around the room.

"Aaron, like this," Sawyer stated. He took Aaron's hands and pushed them into the cake. Aaron giggled and started playing in the cake. By the end of the day Aaron was covered from head to toe in chocolate cake. Sawyer took him upstairs to give him a bath while Kate said goodbye to all the guests.

"I'm gonna get going back to the hotel," Sam said.

"Hotel?" Kate scoffed. "What the hell are you talking about, you're staying right here with us. We've got a guest bedroom down here. Actually you could sleep in the pool house if you wanted."

"Ok," he sighed. "You twisted my arm."

"Good," she smiled.

"Kate?" Jack asked. "I'm gonna get going. Thanks for inviting me."

"Jack, wait," she said. "Come here."

She lead him outside to the porch and he looked at her and sighed.

"I invited you for a couple reasons," she began. "I mean mainly because it's Aaron's birthday, and you're Aaron's uncle, so of course you'd be invited to the party. But also…I miss you. Jack I know that you think it's awkward to hang out because I'm married and I'm having a baby, but-it doesn't mean we can't be friends."

"I know," he sighed. "I'm sorry. I just-I know how much you love Sawyer…I was just hoping that you would love me and want to be with me. I know it's selfish of me to even think, but…the reason I came was because I miss you too Kate."

He stepped toward her and she stepped back. He nodded and sighed.

"Sorry," he said. "Sorry. I just-"

"It's ok," she said crossing her arms over her chest. "I'll see you around though? You're not gonna be avoiding me anymore?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Good party Kate."

She nodded and watched Jack walk back to his house. She went back into the house and found her dad and Sawyer sitting on the couch with Aaron. She smiled at them and took Aaron from Sawyer's lap.

**A/N: I'm getting so excited for the new season it's not even funny. January seems like it's so far away, but it's gonna be here really soon actually. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this chapter. If anyone has ideas for names or if the baby should be a boy or girl, lemme know, because I haven't decided yet. **


	36. Chapter 36

**4 Months Later **

Kate was sitting on the couch knitting. Margo taught her how to knit because Kate wanted to knit booties for the baby. Sawyer came down the stairs and saw her sitting on the couch and started chuckling softly.

"What are you laughing at?" she asked, looking up at him.

"You," he answered honestly. He sat down next to her and chuckled again. "Just the sight of you sitting here knitting. Knitting is for old ladies."

"And hot chicks," she argued. "You don't have to be old to know how to knit."

She finished knitting the bootie and handed it to Sawyer. It wasn't very good, but Sawyer kept his mouth shut. He chuckled again and leaned toward her. He kissed her softly and looked down at her stomach.

"Damn girl you're getting huge," he said.

"Shut up," she scoffed.

"Hey, I'm allowed to say that, it's my fault right?" he stated with a smirk.

"You suck," she chuckled.

"You're not gonna say that when that's the cutest baby you ever did see," he argued. "And by the way aren't you supposed to pop, like any day now?"

"I should be," she answered. "But have you been reading that pregnancy book? And have you been paying attention to the doctor at my appointments?"

"Why?" he chuckled.

"Because sex induces labor," she said softly. "And you just took Aaron over to the Shephard's didn't you?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "You tryin' to tell me something Freckles?"

She leaned toward him and kissed his lips softly. He kissed her and they both stood up. They went up the stairs and started to the bedroom. Kate sat down on the bed, and she pulled Sawyer on top of her. He rolled off of her quickly and she furrowed her eyebrows.

"Where are you going?"

"I don't want to lay on top of you."

"Why not?" she asked. "I'll be fine."

"I don't want to crush the baby," he whispered, leaning toward her and kissing her. She smiled weakly and ran her feet up his legs. He helped her out of her pants and pulled her closer. He started touching her gently and she moaned softly.

"Yes," she whispered. He kissed her neck and continued to touch her softly. She moaned a little louder and pulled his pants down.

"Kate," he said softly. He carefully pushed toward her and into her. She put her mouth against his shoulder to muffle her moan.

"Sawyer," she breathed. "I can't wait till you can fuck me so hard."

He groaned, but didn't say anything. He started thrusting softly and she let out a sharp gasp.

"What happened?" he asked, stopping.

"Nothing," she moaned. "It just feels good."

"Jeez, you scared me, I thought-" he started.

"Shh," she shook her head. "Don't talk. I'll let you know if something's wrong."

They kissed and Sawyer moved to her chest and neck. She moaned again and came and he pulled out of her.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"I ain't goin' nowhere," he said, kissing her softly and wrapping his arms around her. She smiled at him and cuddled against his chest.

* * *

One week later Kate hadn't had the baby yet. She was sitting up in bed reading a book. Sawyer was downstairs with Sam, when suddenly Sam said he had to go to bed. Lately that had been happening a lot. Sawyer went upstairs and said goodnight to Sam. Sam went into his room downstairs. Sawyer went up to the bedroom and found Kate was looking at her vibrator. He raised his eyebrows and chuckle softly.

"Come here," she whispered. He silently walked toward her and chuckled softly. "I need you to have sex with me."

"Oh, so you just want to use me so you can go into labor?" he asked.

"Yeah," she smiled.

"Well alright," he replied, leaning toward her and kissing her lips. She took his hand in hers and put it between her legs. He let out another soft chuckle, and put his hand into her pants. He pulled her pants down and then pulled his own down. As they had sex Kate kept moaning, and Sawyer covered her mouth with his.

"James," she moaned loudly.

"Shh," he chuckled.

She pressed her lips against his chest and then rolled over.

The next morning Kate started touching Sawyer softly and he moaned loudly. He sat up and pulled Kate onto his lap. She slid down on him and let out a sharp moan.

"Oh my god!" she exclaimed as he continued to move in her. She came and then leaned against him.

"Katie!" Sam's voice called through the house.

"Shit," Kate whispered.

"What?" he asked. "You're married, and pregnant, I think your dad knows you're having sex."

"Well that doesn't mean I want him to find me naked with you," she scoffed. "Hold on dad!"

"Are you ok?" he asked. "I heard you scream."

"I'm fine!" she called back and breathed deeply. "I saw a spider."

"So you're awake?" he asked.

"Yeah," she answered.

"Well can I come in?" he asked.

Kate got out of bed as quickly as she could and poked her head out of the door.

"Dad, I just got out of the shower," she said.

"Oh ok," he chuckled. "Sorry. Get dressed there's something I want to show you."

Kate and Sawyer quickly got dressed, and went into the hallway. Sam was standing there in front of Kate's old bedroom.

"Ok," Sam smirked. "Close your eyes."

"What?" Kate chuckled.

"Just trust me," he answered. "Both of you…close your eyes."

They both closed their eyes, and lead them toward the door.

"Daddy," she chuckled.

"Just trust me Katie," he said softly. "Open them."

She opened her eyes and her dad had re-done her bedroom for the new baby. All the colors in the room were gender neutral because Kate wanted to wait till the baby was born to find out what it was. The main colors in the room were green and brown. Kate put her hand to her mouth and gasped loudly.

"Sawyer," she said. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it hard.

"I didn't do it," he chuckled. "It was all your dad."

"No," she shook her head. "I'm having a contraction."

"Oh," he said. "Ok. Let's get you to the hospital. Come on, let's go."

"Sawyer!" she exclaimed. "Shut up for a second."

She breathed in deeply and put her hand against her stomach.

"Ok," she breathed. "That wasn't so bad. Ok. Sawyer it takes hours. I want to enjoy the new nursery."

She looked around the room and smiled.

"Daddy this is awesome," she said. "When did you even have time to do this?"

"I've been doing it at night. Haven't you noticed that I've been keeping this door shut."

"I guess," she chuckled. "I just-I just didn't pay attention."

"When should we go to the hospital?" Sawyer asked, still obviously worried about her contraction.

"Sawyer, aren't you going to say anything to my dad?"

"Oh," he nodded. "Yeah, this is great. Thanks…but Kate, what do you want to do about giving birth? Do you want to just do it right here in the new nursery."

"Sawyer stop," she shook her head and laughed. "I already told you, it takes hours. I'll just wait around her until my contractions start coming quicker. I'll go downstairs and relax for a minute."

"Ok," he sighed.

**6 Hours Later**

Kate decided that she should probably go to the hospital. The contractions were coming quicker and becoming more intense. Sawyer drove her to the hospital. Margo and Sam were planning on coming later on with Aaron. Kate and Sawyer were already in a room. Kate grabbed on to Sawyer's hand and started squeezing again.

"I can't do this," she sniffled.

"Yes you can," he said, brushing her forehead.

"No I can't," she shook her head. "It hurts."

"I thought you said it wasn't that bad," he argued.

"Oh shut up, would you like to do this instead?" she asked.

"If it meant you didn't have to feel the pain, I'd do it in a second Freckles," he whispered.

She let out a chuckle and then a moan.

"Don't make me laugh," she shook her head.

"I love you Freckles," he whispered. "You can do this. Don't you want to see what the baby looks like?"

"No," she pouted.

"Oh stop it," he chuckled. You're gonna be ok. Just squeeze my hand."

"Kate are you ready to push?" the nurse asked, coming into the room.

"Not really," Kate breathed.

"I thought you had a son already," she said. "This should be a piece of cake."

"Actually Aaron isn't-" Sawyer started. "Kate adopted Aaron."

"Oh," she whispered. "Well it'll all be done really soon. So what I want you to do, is push, and count to 10 while you're pushing. Sawyer can you count for her."

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Ok, go, push," the nurse said. Kate pushed as Sawyer counted to ten and squeezed her hand. She stopped pushing and let out a sob.

"No," she cried. "No. I can't. Get this baby out of me."

"That's what we're doing sweetheart," the nurse chuckled. "Now the head is out, we just need you to push again to get the shoulders. We're gonna count to ten again, ok Dad."

"Ok," Sawyer said, turning a light shade of red at hearing the nurse calling him dad.

"Alright, push," Kate started pushing and then stopped in the middle of Sawyer's counting.

"Kate, push again," the nurse said.

"No!" Kate exclaimed and sobbed. "I can't. I can't feel the baby even moving when I'm pushing. I can't do this."

The nurse was about to protest, but Sawyer put his hand up to stop her. He knelt down next to the bed and put his head next to Kate's. She looked at him with a frown and shook her head.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered. "You can do this. Give me all the pain."

"W-what?" she asked. "I can't-"

"Yes you can," he answered. "You're going to give me the pain."

He climbed on to the bed, and knelt behind her. He put his arms around her shoulder and kissed or forehead. The nurse looked at him in awe and he put his mouth next to Kate's ear. "

"You can do this Freckles," he whispered. "Because you don't have a choice. Now push Kate."

He held on to her hands and she wasn't pushing. He let out a soft sigh and squeezed her hands hard.

"Freckles, you gotta push," he whispered. "It won't hurt. Just push and we can meet our baby."

"Ok," she sniffled and nodded. She pushed and the baby slid out of her. She started sobbing again when she heard the baby screaming and crying. Sawyer smiled down at her and kissed her on the forehead again.

"Good job," he whispered. She turned toward him and sobbed again.

"Sawyer," she breathed.

"You did it all by yourself," he chuckled. "I didn't do nothin'."

She let out a chuckle and he got off the bed and looked down at the baby.

"It's a girl," the nurse said, putting the baby up on Kate's chest. The baby had a pink hat on and was wrapped up in a crisp white blanket. Kate let out another sob and looked at Sawyer.

"What are you lookin' at me for," he chuckled. "Look at the little girl in your arms."

She looked back down at the baby and took a deep breath.

"I'm never doing that again," she sniffled and wiped her eyes.

"I thought you wanted more kids," Sawyer said looking down at the baby.

"Well then you can do it for us instead," she answered.

"Oh ok," he responded sarcastically.

"What's her name?" the nurse asked.

"We don't know yet," Kate said, still crying and sniffling.

**2 Hours Later**

Kate was wide awake. The baby was in the nursery, and she and Sawyer hadn't come up with a name yet. Sawyer was sitting next to her bed and they were talking softly, but not about names.

"Thank you so much," she said softly.

"For what?" he shrugged.

"For making me a momma," she replied. "Well in more than one way. First you knocked me up, which was one of the best things ever, but you helped me give birth. I never would have been able to do it without you."

"Sure you would," he nodded. "What if I had been out of town, or dead?"

"Sawyer!" she gasped. "Don't talk like that. And it doesn't matter anyway because you weren't. You were right there behind me, literally and you helped me."

"I wasn't gonna let you give up," he said rubbing her hand softly.

"I love you so much," she said softly with tears coming into her eyes.

"Think of any names yet?"

"Mary," she replied.

"Why?" he asked softly. "We can't name our daughter Mary Claire."

"Why not?" she asked.

"Isn't that some kind of make up company or something?" he asked.

"Well," she chuckled. "Actually it's a magazine, and it's Marie Claire."

"I don't want to name our baby Mary Claire."

"Fine, then you got any better ideas?" she asked.

"Georgia," he smiled.

"Georgia Claire," she said out loud. "Where did you get the name Georgia from?"

"It was my grandma's name," he answered. "I called her GG, for grandma George."

"But George is a boys name."

"It doesn't have to be," he responded.

"Well fine," she sighed. "But if we have another girl then we're naming her Mary."

"Ok, deal," he chuckled. "Why do you want our daughter to be named after her?"

"Because I know how much she meant to you," Kate answered.

When Margo got there with Sam they were both laughing at something that Aaron had done. Kate and Sawyer both noticed that they were almost to the point of flirting. Kate almost felt bad for Christian, but at the same time she knew that Jack's dad wasn't necessarily there for Margo. When they told them they named the baby Georgia Claire, Margo was almost to the point of tears. Sawyer took them all down to see the baby. Aaron wasn't impressed, but the adults both thought that the baby looked more like Sawyer than Kate.

**A/N: Please review!!**


	37. Chapter 37

-1**4 Days Later **

Kate was sitting on the couch, holding Georgia. Kate had spent every day hardly paying any attention to Aaron at all. Aaron was jealous and Sawyer knew it. He tried to point it out to Kate, but she insisted he was fine. It had only been 4 days, but each night Aaron had woken up the baby by crying for Kate and Sawyer. Each night Sawyer had gone in to get Aaron back to sleep, and Kate had gone to Georgia. Sawyer was sitting near her with Aaron on his lap reading him a story. Aaron wasn't paying much attention to the story and instead was looking over at Kate.

"Mama," he whined, reaching over to Kate.

"Mama is holding Georgia right now," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer," Kate said quickly. "Can you go get me a spit up rag?"

"Why?" he asked.

"Because Georgia spit up," she said obviously.

"Oh," he nodded and got up off the couch. Aaron crawled toward Kate and was trying to sit on her lap.

"Aaron," she sighed. "Hold on."

"No!" he whined. He continued to try and push his way on to Kate's lap. Finally when she still didn't give up, he hit the baby. Georgia had started to fall asleep and woke up and started crying.

"Aaron!" Kate exclaimed. She stood up and Aaron was crying too. Sawyer came running back into the room and looked at Kate, then at Aaron who was sitting on the floor sobbing.

"What happened?" he asked.

"He hit Georgia," she answered.

"Aaron," Sawyer sighed. "Come here buddy."

He picked Aaron up and looked at him. He fought against Sawyer and swung again at Kate and Georgia.

"Aaron that is not nice," Sawyer said calmly.

"That's it?" she asked with a scoffed.

"What do you mean?" he shook his head. "Would you like me to scream at him and scare him half to death?"

Aaron cuddled against Sawyer and turned his head away from Kate. Kate sighed and looked at Sawyer seriously.

"Drop it Kate," he answered. "Aaron's still a baby too. He's only a year and a half Kate…he doesn't understand why all the sudden there's this new little person here that's taking away all his mommy's attention."

She sighed and shook her head. Georgia stopped crying. Kate kissed her softly on the top of the head and went up the stairs. Sawyer looked at Aaron who had his thumb in his mouth.

"Do you want to go upstairs with mommy?" he asked. Aaron shook his head and put his head back against Sawyer's shoulder.

That night Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed. Kate got up every time Georgia made a peep. Sawyer rolled over and grumbled each time Kate left the bed. Georgia was fussing softly and Kate jumped out of bed and practically ran to her room. Sawyer grumbled to himself and flipped over. He could hear Kate's voice over the monitor. She was talking softly and sweetly to Georgia. When Kate came back she got into bed next to Sawyer and he sighed softly and turned his back to her.

"She's ok if you wanted to know," Kate whispered.

"I kinda figured she'd be ok Freckles," he chuckled, flipping toward her. "Georgia will be fine. Go to sleep…get some sleep."

"You're right," she smiled. "But first…"

She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him slowly. He kissed her back and flipped over on top of her. The were both fully clothed, and just running their hands up and down each other's bodies. Sawyer looked down at her and then leaned back down to kiss her. They both kept pulling away and teasing each other.

"Daddy!" Aaron's voice exclaimed over the other baby monitor. Sawyer sighed and got off of Kate. He went to leave the bed and Kate grabbed him by the hand.

"He's fine Sawyer, come here," she whispered. "I want to-"

She leaned back toward him and kissed his lips. He sighed softly into her mouth, but continued to kiss her.

"Daddy!" Aaron exclaimed again, this time sobbing. Sawyer rolled away from Kate, and then Georgia started crying.

"You need to shut his door," she scoffed. "He keeps waking up Georgia every night, no one is going to get any sleep."

"Shut up Kate!" he yelled. "It's been 4 days, and it's been nothing of you complaining about Aaron! I'm sick of it Kate! Now I'm gonna go get Georgia…you go pay a little attention to your son."

Kate sighed, and looked like she was about to cry. She left the room angrily and went to Aaron's room, which almost surprised Sawyer, that she listened to him. Sawyer let out a long deep breath and went into Georgia's room. She had stopped crying almost already, but she was still fussing somewhat.

"Hey baby girl," Sawyer said gently. "I know that we haven't spent much time together in the last 4 days but I'm your daddy."

He picked her up and walked over to the rocking chair. He sat down and looked down at the baby. Even though both Margo and Sam had told him that she looked like him, he didn't really believe it until she looked up at him. She still had dampness near her eyes, but they were the same blue as his. He touched her cheek gently with the back of his hand and she smiled. He noticed tiny dimples, that would no doubt get deeper as she got older. He sighed softly and started rocking.

"It's alright Georgie, your momma is just a little crazy right now," he whispered. "She's gonna spend time-"

As Sawyer spoke Aaron's cries only got louder, and he kept crying daddy over and over again. He heard Aaron's bedroom door open, and then slam shut, which startled both Sawyer and Georgia. Georgia started fussing again and Sawyer quickly stood up.

"Oh shh shh," he whispered. "It's alright. He started bouncing her softly, and then he heard his and Kate's door shut. He decided to bring Georgia with him to see if Aaron was ok. He opened Aaron's door and Aaron was sitting in the bottom of his crib crying loudly.

"Aaron, it's ok. What's wrong?"

"No mommy," he shook his head and sobbed. "No mommy. Daddy, no mommy."

"Ok," he whispered. "Mommy's not here. Come here Aaron."

He set Georgia down on the floor, on top of a blanket and picked up Aaron. He put Aaron down on the floor next to her, and he raised his hand up, as if he might bring it back down and hit Georgia. Sawyer quickly grabbed his hand.

"No," he said firmly, but not loudly. "Aaron, there is no hitting allowed in the Ford house. No hitting your baby sister. But you can be nice. Come here. Look."

Sawyer touched Georgia softly on the cheek and her eyes were wide open. He tickled her tummy softly and she continued to smile. She made soft baby noises and Aaron giggled.

"Me!" he exclaimed.

"Ok," Sawyer chuckled softly. "Shh, don't scare your sister."

Sawyer grabbed Aaron into a hug and tickled him too. Aaron giggled again and Sawyer looked at him.

"It's alright," he whispered. "Your mommy is sorry that she got mad. I'm not gonna let it happen again."

Sawyer lifted Aaron back into the crib and he laid down and put his thumb in his mouth. He picked up Georgia and took her back to her room. He set her down softly and then went to his and Kate's room. He left all the bedroom doors open and laid down next to Kate.

"What the fuck was that?" he asked. "Are you now 13? Slamming doors?"

"He was being a little shit," she scoffed.

"Don't call my son a little shit," he replied sitting up and looking down at her.

"Ah ha," she said, slightly victoriously. "_Your_ son."

"Well Kate, you really ain't acting like much of a mom," he answered.

"I'm sorry," she shrugged. "But it's only been 4 days Sawyer. I'm still exhausted, and a new born is a hell of a lot of work. Georgia needs me more than Aaron does."

"That's not true," he shook his head. "Aaron needs you just as badly. In fact maybe Aaron needs you even more because Aaron actually knows who you are. George wouldn't know the difference-"

"She knows me!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah," he sighed. "But Aaron misses you."

"Well then why did he kick and scream when I tried to pick him up and he started screaming for you. And I told him to quiet down because of Georgia and he continued to scream and cry for you."

"Because he's jealous," he shook his head. "Tomorrow you are going to take him to the park while I stay here with our daughter. You need a little Aaron and mommy time. And plus, I think I've held Georgia twice since she was born, and you haven't let me even change her diaper. I need some time with my little girl. She's such a precious angel."

"You're only saying that because she looks exactly like you," she laughed. "You're right though. I'm sorry. God, what's wrong with me?"

"You just had a baby…your hormones are all screwed up," he shrugged. "But don't think I'm letting you off the hook, because if it happens again, and Aaron is crying because of you…I'm not going to be happy."

"I dunno," she sighed. "It's just hard sometimes."

"What is?" he whispered, and touched her face.

"I wanted her to at least have freckles, or green eyes," she sniffled. "She doesn't look at all like me. And Aaron isn't mine, which is fine, but he looks just like you."

"Freckles," he started.

"I want another baby because I want a baby that actually looks like me," she answered.

"Kate, I'm sure in a few years, she'll start looking more like you," he told her. "I mean, maybe her hair will be brown. Or maybe her eyes will get greener."

"Doubt it," she mumbled.

**4 Months Later**

Kate got much better at juggling both babies. She let Sawyer help out more, and she let Sawyer have more time with Georgia. Even though things did get better, Aaron was still very jealous of his baby sister. He turned 2, and as he got older he started understanding more. Sawyer was standing in Aaron's room saying goodnight to him. He was in a regular bed, so Sawyer was sitting on the bed with him reading him a story.

"More daddy," Aaron said when Sawyer closed the book.

"No," Sawyer said gently. "I'm gonna say goodnight now, and now I'm gonna go in to say goodnight to Georgia. I'm gonna send mommy in."

"Mommy read?" he asked.

"I dunno," Sawyer shrugged. "Maybe. You gotta ask mommy."

Sawyer went into the hall and met Kate there. She smirked at him and stepped toward him. She wrapped her arms around him and looked at him.

"Guess what?" she whispered.

"What?" he asked.

"I went shopping today and I got you a present," she answered.

"Really?" he chuckled. "And what kind of present did you get me?"

"It's a surprise," she whispered. "But I'll give you a small hint…it's under my clothes."

"I like that idea Freckles," he said stepping forward again and kissing her softly. "But I'm gonna go say goodnight to Georgia…you wanna go in and say goodnight to Aaron? He wants another story."

"It's not gonna take you that long to say goodnight to Georgie," she stated.

"Well then make up a fast story so that we can enjoy the rest of the night…although considering Georgia still doesn't always sleep through the night, I don't know how it's going to work."

Sawyer went into Georgia's room, and she was already sleeping, so he just looked in on her briefly. He walked back into the bedroom, and Kate was still saying goodnight to Aaron. He was only there for a few minutes when Kate returned. She shut the door and looked at him seductively. He smirked and she took her shirt off. As she walked toward him she unbuttoned her pants and pulled them down. When she got to the bed she climbed on to the bed and over to him.

"Hey there Freckles," he chuckled.

"Hi," she whispered and wrapped her arms around him. He let out another soft chuckle and leaned forward to kiss her. She put her hands against his lips when they were inches from each other. He ran his hand down her back and she shook her head.

"What are you doin'?" he said softly. She silently leaned toward him and kissed his lips softly and slowly. She moaned softly and continued to kiss him.

"Sawyer," she whispered softly.

"What do you want me to do?" he said, rolling over on top of her.

"It's been 4 months," she said.

"Well darlin' that ain't my fault," he answered. "The doctor gave us the go ahead 2 months ago."

"Well," she whispered. "I want you to-"

"Mommy!" Aaron screamed. He was screaming and crying. Sawyer and Kate both quickly got up. Kate wrapped her robe around herself and ran ahead of Sawyer. She picked up Aaron out of the crib and held him closely.

"Aaron what's the matter?" she said softly. "What's wrong, baby?"

Aaron had his hand in his mouth and continued to cry hard. She shushed him and bounced him softly. He whined and cried, and didn't stop. Kate sighed softly and sat down in the rocking chair.

"Sweetheart, come on," she whispered. "What's the matter?"

"Maybe he had a bad dream," Sawyer shrugged.

"Maybe," she whispered. She rocked him and he slowed his crying. There were no tears anymore, but he was still making crying noises.

"Lemme take him," Sawyer said softly. He bent down and took Aaron from Kate. He screamed and reached back for Kate.

"Mommy!" he screamed.

"Ok," Sawyer sighed. He handed Aaron back down to Kate and then stood up. Kate stood up and started putting Aaron down again and he started screaming again. Kate let out a breath and sat back down in the rocking chair.

"Go on back to bed Sawyer," Kate said softly. "I'll be in when I can get him back to sleep."

"Ok," he whispered. "I think I can hear Georgia anyway. I'll see you in a little bit."

"Bet on it babe," she stated with a smile.

Sawyer walked down the hall. Georgia's cry was much softer than Aaron's. He went into the bedroom and walked over to the crib. She reached her arms up and he picked her up. He rocked her softly, and she stopped crying immediately.

"Oh, well Miss Georgia, you think you can teach that to your brother?" he asked. Even though Georgia wasn't crying anymore, Sawyer continued to sway back and forth. He started humming softly.

"You are so sexy," Kate said appearing in the doorway.

"You're not so bad yourself," he smirked.

"Georgia stopped crying quickly," she said.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Picked her up and she stopped crying."

Sawyer put Georgia back down and Kate grabbed his hand. She lead him back into the bedroom and shut the door behind them. She took his hands and put them at the top of her robe. He smiled at her and let her do all the work. She pushed her robe off her body and lead him to the bed. He ran his hands down her body and then back up to her bra. He unhooked her bra and she leaned down and kissed him softly.

"I missed having sex with you," she whispered.

"Hmm," he murmured into her ear. "I missed it too. I don't know why you wanted to wait so long."

"Because I want you to fuck me hard," she said. "I want you to fuck me and get me pregnant."

"Kate," he started. She quickly flipped over on top of him and pressed her lips to his to keep him quiet. She quickly unbuttoned his pants and pulled them off. He sighed softly and sat up, continuing to kiss her. He pulled her underwear down quickly and flipped over on top of her. He pushed into her and she moaned softly.

"Harder," she whispered softly.

Sawyer pushed against her slightly harder and she moaned a little louder. He covered her mouth with his and then she let out a soft breath.

"Harder!" she exclaimed louder. He pushed harder and she wrapped her legs around him. He groaned softly and started thrusting harder. She scraped her fingernails down his back and he bit down softly on her lip.

**1 Month Later**

Sawyer came home from the park with the two kids. When they got into the house he didn't see any sign of Kate. He went up the stairs with the kids, stumbling slightly. He could hear movement in the bathroom and went in to see what was going on. Kate was standing with her head against the sink. She stood up and took a drink of water. Then she turned toward Sawyer and gasped loudly.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Kate," he stated, stepping toward her. "What's the matter Kate?"

"I'm not pregnant," she sighed.

"What?" he asked.

**A/N: Pleease please review!!!!**


	38. Chapter 38

Sawyer stared at Kate and then left the bathroom to put Georgia down.

"Thanks a lot for caring Sawyer," she scoffed. He put Georgia down and walked back into the hallway where Kate was standing.

"I didn't know that we were trying to have a baby," he said with his eyebrows furrowed.

"I said," she sighed, trying to remain calm. "One month ago remember when we had sex for the first time since Georgia was born?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "I remember."

"I told you then that I wanted you to get me pregnant," she answered. "And that's why we've been having sex every single night."

"Because you want to get pregnant?" he asked. "I didn't really think you were that serious. I mean Kate-we have two kids already."

"And I said I wanted more before Georgia was even born," she interrupted.

"Yeah," he whispered. "I just figured you'd want to wait a little while. I mean come on. Aaron's not even 2 years old yet, and then George is only 5 months old? We don't need another addition to our family so soon."

"I want another baby Sawyer," she answered.

"And what about your dad?" he asked. "Sam is still staying here-"

"Which is the perfect reason why we could have another baby now," she responded. "My dad can help us. I just want to have another baby while I can still get my figure back completely."

"Kate, you're hot," he stated, stepping toward her. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her toward him. "You don't have to worry about anything. I have an idea. When was the last time that we really had some time just the two of us? Let's go out to dinner tonight. We can see if Margo or Sam can baby sit?"

"Ok," she nodded. "Ok."

"And while we're out to dinner we'll talk more about this whole expanding our family as quickly as possible."

That night Kate and Sawyer were at a restaurant, eating their meal in peace. Neither one of them wanted to bring up the topic of having another baby, because neither one of them wanted to cause an argument. Sawyer reached across the table and took Kate's hands.

"Can we have sex tonight?" Kate whispered. "No pressure about a baby?"

"Hate to break it to you Kate, but if you're wanting another baby of course there's pressure," he chuckled. "Kate, why don't we wait on having another baby."

"OK," she nodded. "You're right. God, you're right. I'm sorry. I just-nevermind. Let's just stop talking about it. It's nice to have dinner without a fight."

He looked over and saw Jack sitting with a woman. Jack looked incredibly uncomfortable. He nudged Kate with his foot and then she noticed them too.

"I wonder who that is," she said softly.

"Jealous?" he asked.

"No!" she exclaimed, a little too defensively for Sawyer's taste.

"Jeez Freckles, I was only kidding," he said with a shrug. "I'm gonna ask for the check, and we can go."

"No," she stated softly. "I'm not jealous. I have you, and I have our kids. I don't need Jack. It's just kinda weird because I haven't seen him since Georgia was born, and the first time I'm seeing him, he's out on a date."

Jack's date laughed loudly at something and he was smirking. Then he looked over and saw Kate, and Sawyer looking at them. Kate quickly looked away and looked at Sawyer.

"Let's go," she chuckled and shook her head.

"Well hold that thought Freckles, he's coming this way," Sawyer replied. She let out another soft chuckle, and then turned her head toward him.

"Hey," he said. "Long time no see."

"We invited you to Aaron's second birthday. Are you coming?" Kate asked.

"When is it?" he shrugged.

"Saturday," Kate answered.

"I can't," he shook his head. "I'm working. Sorry. So what are you two doing here?"

"Oh we thought that tonight was the perfect night for deer hunting," Sawyer responded sarcastically. "How about yourself?"

"I have a date," he turned a light pink shade. "I was set up, but for a blind date…I dunno, she's nice."

"She's got a loud laugh," Kate noted.

"Yeah," he whispered. "Anyway, I should probably get back. I just wanted to say hi. I saw you walking with the babies the other day. Aaron's getting really big."

"So is Georgia for that matter," Sawyer stated.

"Maybe I'll stop by the party after I go to work…I mean by then everyone will probably be gone, but might as well come by…I can give him a birthday present."

"Jack you don't have to-" Kate started.

"I want to," he replied.

When Kate and Sawyer got home they got up to the front door and Kate stopped Sawyer from going in the house. She grabbed his hands and stepped toward him. She kissed him softly and then more vigorously. He chuckled softly and she walked backwards so her back was pushed against the door.

"What are we doing?" he whispered, but didn't stop from kissing her.

"I dunno, but I feel like I'm in high school," she answered. "I used to make out with guys all the time on the front porch."

"Oh really?" he asked, pushing her against the door harder and kissing her deeper. Kate heard noises behind the door. She heard a glass shatter on the floor and then heard laughter. Kate furrowed her eyebrows and they opened the front door.

"Sam stop!" Margo chuckled, pushing him away from her as he went to tickle her again. Kate looked over at Sawyer. It was awkward to see her dad and Jack's mom acting like a couple of teenagers.

"Katie," Sam said, backing away from Margo.

"How were they?" Sawyer asked.

"The babies?" Margo asked.

"No the monkey's we asked you to look after," Sawyer said stated with a smirk.

"They're fine Sawyer," Sam stated. "Both of em haven't made a peep in over an hour."

"Do you even have the baby monitor down here!" Kate exclaimed, looking around and noticing that the baby monitor wasn't anywhere to be seen. Before either Margo or Sam could give her an answer she ran up the stairs. Sawyer followed her silently. She went into Georgia's room first and looked at her. Georgia was sleeping soundly. Kate always thought it was amazing that Georgia never used a pacifier, and didn't suck on her thumb either. She walked out of Georgia's room and scoffed softly, and then she went to Aaron's room. Aaron was sleeping too, but when Kate stepped into the room, the floor creaked and he woke up.

"Mommy!" he exclaimed.

"Shh," she said softly, walking toward him. "Go back to sleep buddy."

She kissed him on the forehead and then left the bedroom. She sighed again and shook her head.

"Are you alright?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," she answered. "Kinda weird seeing my dad and Jack's mom acting that way. It was almost as if-in fact, I'm gonna ask Margo to leave, and I'm gonna ask my dad what the hell is going on."

She started leaving and was almost to the top of the stairs and Sawyer followed her and stopped her.

"Whoa, hold it Freckles," he said softly. "Do you really think that's a good idea? Accusing your dad of having an affair?"

"That's not what I'm doing," she shrugged. "That isn't what I said. But when I walk into my house and I see my dad leaning over Margo, trying to tickle her? It's just kinda weird. I want to know what's going on in my house when I'm not here…they were supposed to be taking care of the kids…not making out, like a bunch of high school kids."

Sawyer went downstairs with Kate and held on to her hand tightly. They said goodbye to Margo and Kate went to make her dad sit down on the couch.

"What's up Katie?" he asked.

"That's kinda what we want to know," Kate answered. "What is going on dad? Are you and Margo-"

"Katie, no," Sam interrupted. "Margo is a married woman. She is with Christian-"

"Yeah, but dad," Kate sighed. "Look, we both know that Christian is hardly ever around. He's basically married to that job of his. Margo is lonely, and it's ok…but when you're watching the kids…we want you to actually watch them-"

"Katie," he interrupted. "We were watching them till about 7:00. Then we put them upstairs to bed. They both fell asleep quickly. Yes, I forgot to bring the baby monitor downstairs, which was my mistake, but…believe me Katie, nothing is happening with Margo."

"Ok," she nodded. "Look, daddy, I'm sorry I came off accusingly…it just looked-"

"Yeah," he answered. "It looked bad. I'm sorry."

"Ok," she whispered. "Well I'm tired…so I'm gonna go up to bed."

"Goodnight Sam," Sawyer said.

Later on they were upstairs in bed. They were facing each other, but not touching.

"Freckles, I got a question for you," he whispered.

"Uh oh," she smiled weakly.

"Well actually," he started. "I am a little nervous about asking because I don't want to cause a stupid fight. I'm so sick of fighting with you."

"Ok," she nodded. "I'm sick of it too…just-whatever you have to ask me…just ask it."

"Why do you want a baby right now?" he asked. "Why does it have to be right now?"

"As weird as it sounds…I kinda liked being pregnant," she responded. "I want another baby. I don't know why. I just do."

"Well we can have another baby Freckles, but does it have to be right now…well I guess not right now, but in 9 months?" he asked. "Can't we at least wait till Georgia is a year old before trying again?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Yeah. We can wait."

"Thank you," he said, touching her face softly. "But-you made a request at the restaurant that I can grant. You said 'let's have sex', remember?"

"Yeah," she chuckled. "But that was when I thought I might be able to talk you into having another baby."

"Oh, so since I said let's wait till Georgia is older to have another baby, that means we're not having sex till we try for another baby?" he asked.

"Hell no," she answered. "But I don't have anything to prevent me from being pregnant."

"Don't worry," he whispered. "I took the liberty."

She leaned forward and kissed his lips. She rolled over on top of him and ground her hips into his. He let out a breath and flipped them over. He pushed her shirt up so her belly was exposed, and trailed slobbery kisses down her stomach and toward the top of her underwear. She let out a breath and continued to breath irregularly as he moved to her legs. She was only wearing underwear and a t-shirt. He sucked on her thigh and then moved to her other leg. He pulled her panties off and she lifted her hips so he could take them off all the way. He went back to kissing her legs, and then stopped. She moaned louder, and sat up.

"Where's that condom?" she asked, leaning forward and trying to kiss him, but backing away at the same time teasingly. She moved closer to him and wrapped her legs around him. "I think we're gonna need more than one."

"Jesus Freckles," he whispered.

"I'm so wet," she stated kissing his neck and putting her hands up his shirt. She pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it across the room. "You make me so horny."

"What do you want me to do?" he asked with a slight groan.

"Fuck me so hard, I forget my own name," she whispered softly. She laid down and he laid down on top of her. He reached across the bed to his night table and took the box of condoms out. He handed her one and looked at her.

"You want me to do it?" she asked. He nodded silently and leaned toward her. He kissed her lips gently and gave her soft kisses, backing away each time, and giving her soft pecks. She reached her hands down his pants and he let out a loud breath. They both took his pants off. She discovered that he wasn't wearing his boxers and she smirked. She put the condom on him and then pulled him on top of her. He pushed all the way into her and she ran her hands down his neck.

"Kiss me," she moaned. He bent down and put his mouth over hers. He started moving faster and harder. She pulled his hair and he stopped.

"Shit," he whispered and groaned.

"What?" she whispered. "Don't stop. Don't stop."

"The condom broke," he replied.

"Keep going!" she exclaimed.

"Fuck it," he moaned and continued to move until they both came.

**2 Days Later**

It was Aaron's birthday. Margo and Sam were there and that's it. Sawyer was sitting on the floor playing with Georgia. Aaron was watching from the other side of the room and he ran and jumped on Sawyer, to get some attention. Kate chuckled and sat down on the floor with them.

"So Jack said he might stop by after work," Margo said.

"Yeah," Kate chuckled. "We saw him at the restaurant the other day, and he told us he would try. I'm just-I'm not counting on it."

"Mommy, uncle Jack come!" Aaron exclaimed.

"I dunno Aaron," Kate said softly. "Maybe."

"Yay!" he exclaimed again.

Kate looked at Sawyer, somewhat sadly. She was hoping that Jack would make the time to come over. Sam stood up and looked down at Kate.

"Katie, I'll be right back," he said. "Aaron's present is in my room."

"OK," she stated furrowing her eyebrows.

"It's not wrapped yet," he replied. "I didn't-I totally forgot to wrap it and then it was time for the party. I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Ok dad," Kate nodded.

Sam got up and left the room. Then less than a minute later Margo claimed to have to use the bathroom so she got up too. Kate looked at Sawyer again.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "What the hell are we gonna do?"

"Nothing," he shook his head. "Nothing is going on with them. You're dad told us that nothing was happening...and plus, Margo is married."

"But they're both lonely and you know it," Kate argued. "Come on! My dad hasn't had a girlfriend in forever. And Margo...I mean come on...she's just as lonely. Jack used to say that he's never home. I'm gonna go check on them-"

"Freckles!" he exclaimed softly and grabbed her by the hand before she stood up. "Come on Freckles. Just let it be. Besides, if they are sleeping together, it's really none of our business. They're both grown-ups."

"I know," she nodded and sighed. "I just don't want my dad to get hurt, and I know that it will happen. He's been hurt once, by my mom. She cheated on him with Wayne of all people."

"Ok," he replied. "Well do what you want."

Kate didn't get up. She stayed sitting there with Sawyer, Aaron and Georgia. She pulled Aaron into her lap and he wrapped his arms around her.

"Mommy where grampa and grama?" he asked. Kate stayed quiet and looked at Sawyer again. She waited for 5 more minutes, and neither Margo or Sam were back. Kate sighed and stood up. She walked down the hall, and decided if she was caught she would claim to be going to the bathroom. She heard the smacking of lips and noticed that her dad's door was opened. She walked past the door and found her dad and Margo on the bed, making out.

"Dad!" she screamed. Margo quickly got up and left the room. Kate heard the front door shut and looked at her dad.

"Dad, what is goign on? You told me that-"

"Well, I lied," he shrugged.

"Gross dad, I don't even want to know. What do you think you're doing?"

"I'm in love with her Katie," he sighed. "We've been watching the kids together, and we honestly got to know each other. I love her Katie."

"Dad," she shook her head. "Oh dad...what the hell were you thinking? How could you let yourself fall in love with her. The moment that any type of feeling started-"

"Did you want me to just stop hanging out with her?" he asked. "Because she's here all the time, taking care of the kids."

"Not all the time dad," she sighed. "Both me and Sawyer stay at home a lot."

"Well I just-I don't know what happened, but-I love her."

"Please tell me that you haven't-" she started. "Tell me you haven't told her."

"I told her right now," he answered. "And she kissed me first."

"Dad-" she began.

"I know. I know she's married," he shook his head. "And she loves Christian. But she misses being touched. She misses being loved."

"Did you wrap Aaron's present?" she asked, somewhat shortly.

"Yes," he replied, handing her the present.

"Give it to Aaron," she shrugged. "You can still stay here, but you're not having sex with her in this house."

"Come on Katie," he scoffed. "First off, who says we're going to start having sex, and secondly, you can't exactly tell me what to do. I'm an adult Kate. And you can't exactly tell me who I can sleep with."

"Dad-" she started. "I just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know," he nodded. "I know you're trying to help me, but don't tell me what to do."

"Well, at the very least close the door," she answered.

"We did," he responded. "But the door doesn't latch all the way unless you push against it. It opened on it's own."

"Ok," she nodded. "Fine. Let's just go back to the party."

When she walked back into the living room, Sawyer was sitting with Georgia and Aaron. He was reading Aaron a story. Georgia wasn't exactly listening to the story, but she was perfectly happy on his lap. Sawyer looked at Kate, and she shook her head and rolled her eyes.

**A/N: PLEASE REVIEW! For those of you who don't know, there is a new music video that is The Fray's new song, with footage from season 5 of Lost. It's awesome! All you have to do is go to youtube and type in The Fray You Found Me. It's making me so excited!!! Anyway review/send love/lemme know what's you think of my story, and/or the video for You Found Me. (nice title huh?)**


	39. Chapter 39

Kate kept shaking her head and making sounds. Sawyer continued to look at her for answers, but she stayed quiet. Sam wasn't in the room yet, and Sawyer knew something happened.

"What's happenin' Kate?" Sawyer asked.

"Shh," she whispered. "Just drop it."

"Something obviously-" he started.

"They were making out," she interrupted. "I don't want to talk about it."

"What?!" he exclaimed.

"Shh!" she scolded. "Let's just get through the party."

"What are you gonna tell Jack?" he asked.

"I'm not telling him anything," she sighed. "Just drop it. Aaron…do you want to open your presents?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed.

Sawyer and Kate helped Aaron open the presents. Sam stuck around, but things were very tense between all of them. They opened presents and after cake Sam left. Kate was cleaning up in the kitchen and Sawyer was taking care of the kids when there was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it," Kate sighed, wiping her hands on a towel. She walked toward the door and opened it. Jack was standing there with a package.

"Told ya I'd come," he said.

"Come on in," she stated, giving him a weak smile, and leading him into the living room.

"Everything ok?" Jack asked. "Where is everyone?"

"Well, it was just my dad, and your mom," she answered. "They left already."

"Doesn't your dad live here?" Jack asked. "Why would he leave?"

"Things just got-a little-I dunno, weird," she replied.

"What happened?" he whispered.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "The party kinda died out, and we really didn't have anything planned."

"Well do you want me to leave?" he questioned.

"You can stay if you want to," she shrugged. "But I think we're just gonna be sitting here doing nothing. Staring at the kids I guess. We can watch TV or a movie."

"We can talk," he offered.

"You could tell us about your date," Kate chuckled.

"It went well," he replied. "I guess."

"Don't let her hear you say that, or you won't be getting another date," Sawyer interjected.

"She was pretty," Kate stated.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I liked her, it was just kinda weird. I don't really date. And you're the only one I've ever been with-it's just weird."

"Does she know that?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "She's been married before Kate, it's just-"

"Where did you meet her?" she asked.

"Well she works at the hospital. My dad-he introduced us."

"Where is your dad?" Kate questioned.

"He's out of town on business," he mumbled. "I think-never mind."

"What?" she whispered. "You can tell us."

"I think he might be having an affair again," he responded. Kate took a deep breath and swallowed hard. She looked at him and took a deep breath.

"Why?" she asked. "I mean what makes you think that?"

"He's never home Kate," he shook his head. "I mean never. He's working a lot, which is normal, but even when he is home he's always making these phone calls. I don't know-it's just-it doesn't really affect me anymore if he is cheating on my mom, but I'm just sick of all his shit. He thinks that he's better than everyone else."

"Kate," Sawyer started. "I don't mean to interrupt, but Georgia is falling asleep here, so I'm gonna go put her upstairs."

"Can you take Aaron too?" Kate asked.

"No nap mommy!" he exclaimed.

"Well you don't have to sleep, but you need to lay down for a minute ok?"

"OK," he whined. He followed Sawyer up the stairs and Kate looked back at Jack. She put a comforting hand on Jack's shoulder.

"It's alright Jack," she whispered. "Try catching your mom having sex with someone else."

"What?" he asked.

"Yeah," she nodded. "It was a long time ago. I walked into my house and my mom was having sex with someone on the couch. I never sat on that couch again."

"It's not this one is it?" Jack asked with a small smile looking down at the couch. She cracked a smile and shook her head.

"Nope…told ya I never sat on it again," she responded.

"Thank you for cheering me up Kate," he said. "I really miss us."

"Jack-" she started.

"I don't mean-" he interrupted. "I mean, I miss being with you, and I miss kissing you, but honestly I just miss having friends. I don't really have many friends Kate. I just work and go to class, and that's it."

"Well," Kate chuckled. "Then lets hang out. Once a week, we'll hang out and do something fun."

"Ok," he let out a oft breath. He looked at her and then leaned toward her. Their lips were almost touching, and Kate turned her head.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, but didn't push him away.

"What the hell is going on?!" Sawyer exclaimed coming back into the room.

"Sawyer wait," Kate stated.

"You're getting down on your dad for sleeping with Margo, but you're making out with Jack right in front of me!" he yelled.

"Sawyer stop it!" she screamed back.

"Wait what?" Jack asked. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"Nice Sawyer," she sighed. "Jack-"

"My mom-" he started. "Wait, you're-what is he talking about Kate."

"I found my dad and your mom," she whispered.

"Having sex!" he exclaimed.

"No," she sighed and shook her head. "They were kissing. My dad admitted to it. He told me that your mom is lonely."

"I'm not listening to this anymore," he shook his head and stood up.

"Jack," Kate sighed. "Jack, I-"

"You're lying!" he exclaimed. "My mom loves my dad!"

He left the house and slammed the door behind him. Kate turned toward Sawyer and crossed her arms.

"You happy?" she asked.

"I dunno Kate, are you?" he asked.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" she questioned.

"You were making out on the couch!" he yelled.

"We were not!" she said back, just as loud. "Our lips weren't even touching yet!"

"_Yet,_" he answered. "Yet. Your lips weren't touching yet. If I hadn't walked in right then and there you probably would have ended up fucking on the goddamn couch you bitch!"

"Don't," she whispered. "Don't call me that."

She walked away from him, and went to walk out of the room but he stopped her and grabbed her by the arm.

"Don't," she said shaking her head. "Let go of me Sawyer."

"Maybe you should go over there and see if he can dry your tears," he whispered. "Maybe you can get pregnant with his kid because we're not ever having another kid."

"Sawyer stop it," she sobbed. "Sawyer…why are you-why are you doing this?"

"Mommy," Aaron cried from the staircase.

Kate shook her head again and walked toward him. She picked him up and carried him back up the stairs. Instead of taking him to his own room she took him to her room and put him down on the bed.

"I'll be right back baby," she whispered. She got back up and went into Georgia's room. She carried Georgia back to the bedroom and shut and locked the door behind her. Put Georgia down next to Aaron and looked at them both.

"I'm sorry Aaron," she said.

"Daddy is scary," he frowned.

"I know," she whispered. "Daddy's sorry too. He didn't mean to scare you buddy. He's just a little mad right now at mommy."

"Why?" he asked.

"I don't really know actually," she sniffled. "Just lay here with me for a minute ok?"

"Ok," he replied and snuggled against her. Kate heard a rattling at the door knob and jumped. She took a deep breath and looked at the door.

"Go away Sawyer," she sobbed. "I don't want to see you right now. Go away!"

"Kate," he said calmly. "Please. Open the door. I'm sorry. I just-please open the door."

"I wasn't kissing Jack!" she exclaimed.

"Kate, please…open the door. Please? I'm sorry," he said even quieter. Kate sighed and stood up. She walked toward the door and opened it.

"I wasn't kissing him," she whispered.

"You weren't pushing him away either," he answered.

"But I asked him what he was doing," she responded. "I wanted to know what he was doing-I didn't-I didn't want to kiss him."

"I don't believe you," he shrugged. "Kate, I think we need to take some time and just think-"

"Think about what?" she sniffled. "What am I supposed to do just sleep on the couch till you can believe me? Well I'm sorry that you don't believe me. I'm sorry that you don't believe in our love enough to believe me when I say that I don't want Jack. I don't want to be with him, I don't want to kiss him-why don't you believe me."

"Because I saw the way you were looking at him," he said. "It's been a few months since you've looked at me that way."

"What do you mean?" she scoffed. "We've been making love every night. I look at you every single night-"

"Yeah, well-" he sighed. "We've had passion forever Freckles. Since I met you. Since before we started having sex…we've always had this passion…but I don't know if it's really love."

"Sawyer we're married," she shook her head. "We're married, and we have two kids. The only thing-"

"Mommy!" Aaron exclaimed, and then there was a thud and Georgia was screaming. Kate spun around quickly and saw that Georgia had rolled out of the bed. She rushed toward her and picked her up. Georgia didn't stop screaming. She had a bump on her head. Kate sat down on the bed and looked at the bump, and then Georgia stopped crying, and stopped moving.

**A/N: Ok…so really angst and dramatic. PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!**


	40. Chapter 40

Kate was sitting in the emergency room with Aaron on her lap. Sawyer was pacing in front of her. He went over to her and sat down. He put a hand on her shoulder and she jerked away.

"Don't touch me," she said.

"Kate," he whispered.

"If she's not ok Sawyer," she sighed. "If she's not ok-it's all my fault."

"No it's not," he shook his head.

"She rolled off the fucking bed," Kate said. "If I had just been there…she wouldn't have-I'll never forgive myself Sawyer."

"Mrs. Ford?" the nurse said. Kate stood up quickly and handed Aaron to Sawyer.

"Is she ok?" Kate asked.

"She's going to be just fine," she replied. "She got quite a bump, but she'll be fine."

"She doesn't have a concussion or anything?" Kate questioned.

"Nope," the nurse shook her head.

"Can I go in and see her?"

"The doctor is bringing her out right now," she answered. Behind the nurse a doctor walked and handed Kate the baby. Kate held on to her and let out a soft sob. Sawyer stood up and stepped toward Kate. He put his hand on the back of the baby's head and could feel the bump.

"See," he whispered. "She's fine, Kate."

Kate glared at Sawyer and then started walking toward the door. They left the hospital, and Kate sat in the backseat with the kids on the way home. When they got home Kate walked up the front steps and Sawyer stopped her before she got inside.

"Kate," he started. "Slow down."

"I'm going over to the Shephard's tonight," she answered. "I'm taking the kids with me."

"What?" he scoffed. "You can't do that."

"I don't want to be anywhere near you," she replied. "Leave me alone."

She went into the house and up the stairs. Sawyer, who was carrying Aaron, followed her, and put Aaron down. Aaron looked up at him slightly confused, and Sawyer ran up the stairs after her. Kate went into Georgia's room and started packing a small diaper bag. Sawyer gently took Georgia from Kate and put her down in the crib.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"No Kate, what are you doing?" he said. He grabbed her roughly by the arm and dragged her into their bedroom. Kate looked at him and he shoved her against the door.

"I hate this," she shook her head. "I don't want to fight anymore. I just can't do this anymore."

"You can't do what?" he asked. "This?"

He reached his hand up her leg and unzipped her pants.

"Stop," she whispered.

"No," he answered. "You want me to fuck you remember? You want another baby."

"Sawyer," she sighed. He unbuttoned her jeans and pushed his hand into her underwear. She let out a moan and stepped toward him, inviting his hand.

"Even if you hate me," he began. "You'll never stay away forever. You can go over to the Shephard's tonight, but what will happen when you want me to ease your need for me."

"I'll go to Jack's room," she spat. He quickly spun them around and shoved her toward the bed. He pulled her pants down along with her underwear.

"No you won't," he whispered into her ear. "And even if you did, it won't be enough for you, you'll still want to fuck me all night. You'll be aching for me to touch you."

He touched her softly and began to touch her legs and her crotch, without touching her clit. She shook her head, but moved her hips underneath him.

"Don't," she moaned again.

"What was that?" he asked, pushing two of his fingers into her.

"Oh my God," she breathed. "Stop."

She continued to moan softly.

"Stop what?" he asked.

"The kids," she whispered. "Did you forget that Aaron is downstairs by himself?"

"No," he shook his head. "But this won't take long."

He ran his thumb over her clit and she moaned louder and came. He stood up and left the room. He went into the bathroom, and Kate pulled her clothes on. She left the room and went to get Georgia. She went down the stairs and saw Aaron sitting on the couch by himself. She sighed to herself and sat down next to him.

"You alright buddy?" she asked. He nodded and she put her free arm around him. "I'm gonna go over to Grandma's house ok? You wanna come with me?"

"Yeah!" he exclaimed.

"Sawyer!" she yelled. "I'm leaving!"

She took Aaron by the hand and left the house. She knocked on the door at the Shephard's house and Jack answered the door.

"Hey," he said softly.

"Hi," she whispered. "Look, I know you're mad at me, and I'm probably the last person you want to talk to, but I just really-Sawyer and I got into a fight and Georgia fell off the bed and bumped her head and I thought that she was gonna-but she's ok, and I just really needed to get out of that house, and I just-can I come in?"

"Yeah," he nodded, and stepped out of the way. "Ok…now what? Start over."

"After you left," she started. "Sawyer thought that we were kissing. I told him we weren't, but he didn't believe me. He thought that I kissed you back-I told him that I wouldn't have kissed you but he didn't think-he thought because I didn't push you away-anyway…we got into an argument. He came upstairs, I guess to apologize, and Georgia was on our bed…she rolled off and landed on the floor."

"Oh my God," he whispered. "Do you want me to check her out?"

"No," she sniffled. "We took her to the emergency room. She's ok. I'm just-I needed somewhere to come. I can't sleep there tonight."

"You can stay here," he nodded.

Later that night after the kids had gone to bed Kate and Jack were sitting on the couch together. They were sitting next to each other and facing.

"Kate, I'm sorry I got so bent out of shape earlier. I basically yelled at you for no reason. You were just trying to be honest," he stated.

"Well to be perfectly honest, I wasn't going to even tell you," she replied. "I didn't want to start a fight like what happened, and I didn't want to hurt you if it was possible. I know that it couldn't have been easy to hear about."

"But you were serious weren't you?" he whispered.

"Earlier today," she sighed. "At the birthday party…my dad and your mom were acting really weird. They both made an excuse to leave the party, and I went down the hall to check on what was going on. I found them kissing. I'm sorry, Jack."

"It's ok," he mumbled. "I mean it's not, but-it's not your fault. And besides I talked to my mom and she admitted it. She told me that she was in love with Sam…she said that my dad wasn't here for her anymore and she wanted to be with a man who actually cared about her feelings. If your dad makes her happy, then that's really all I care about. It's just-my parents don't get along anymore."

"I know what that's like Jack," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "My mom and dad used to scream at each other. I was almost glad when my dad moved out. Wasn't so glad when Wayne moved in…but that's another story."

"Had a hard childhood?" he asked.

"You could say that," she nodded.

"I understand," he said, touching her face softly. "I know what it's like."

"Jack," she whispered.

"I know," he sighed. "You're married. It's not fair to either of you, or me for that matter. But I'm still in love with you."

Kate didn't know what to say so she stayed quiet, and then she stood up. She walked over to the stairs and Jack went after her. He stopped her from going up the steps and looked at her.

"I'm sorry," he stated. "I should have just kept it to myself, but I-it's true."

"I know," she nodded. "I'm gonna go to bed Jack. Goodnight."

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek softly. Her lips lingered there a little longer than she meant to and then he turned his head and kissed her. He pressed his lips to hers and she kissed him back and then ran up the stairs.

That night Kate was laying in bed. She put the kids in the room next to her. She wasn't sleeping, and knew that she probably wouldn't at all. She was staring at the door. She kept thinking that she was hearing noises outside of the bedroom. Before she knew it there was a knock on the door. She sighed to herself softly and stood up. She opened the door and Jack was standing in front of her.

"Hey," she said.

"Were you sleeping?" he asked.

"No," she shook her head.

"Well, you have a visitor, and he refuses to leave," Jack stated. "He's kinda drunk."

"Ok," she sighed. She walked down the stairs and saw Sawyer standing at the bottom of the steps with his arms crossed. He was staring at the floor. She took a deep breath and walked down the stairs.

"I missed you," he mumbled.

"Sawyer," she shook her head.

"No," he said.

"No what?" she asked. "I didn't say anything."

"Come home," he stated, wrapping his arms around her. "I was wrong. I was wrong."

"What the hell are you talking about?" she questioned, backing away from him.

"I said that you would be aching for me, but I'm aching for you," he said, touching her hair softly. "I want to sleep with you. I want to fuck you and sleep next to you."

"Sawyer," she whispered again. He reached his hands down her pajama pants. "Sawyer, what are you doing?"

"Where's your bedroom?" he whispered, leaning toward her and kissing her neck. He ran his hand down the front of her pants and she gasped.

"No," she shook her head. "We're not doing this right now, not here."

"Why not?" he asked. "You know damn well that you're wet and needy right now. I can feel it."

He kissed her lips and pushed her gently against the wall behind her. She let out another breath and he started grinding against her softly. She moaned softly and then pushed him away.

"Goodnight Sawyer," she sighed. "I'll see you in the morning when you sober up."

She walked up the stairs and went into her room. She laid down in her bed and sighed to herself. She was even more pissed off than before. She didn't want to give Sawyer the satisfaction that he had any affect on her, but he did. There was a soft knock on the door and she hoped that it was Jack. She opened the door, and it was Sawyer. He silently stepped toward her and put his mouth over hers. She tried to protest, but he pushed her into the room and shut and locked the door behind him. He pushed her onto the bed and crawled over her.

"James," she moaned. "We can't."

"Why?" he whispered, and pulled her pants all the way off. "Because this is Jack's house? Well I don't give a flying fuck where we do this, but I'm so fucking hard right now, and I know you're wet."

He grinded against her hard, and ran his hands up her body. She moaned and covered her mouth with her hand.

"Moan as loud as you want sweetheart," he whispered into her ear.

"Sawyer," she moaned. "Wait."

"For what?" he asked.

"I can hear Georgia," she whispered. "Georgia's crying."

"Kate," he shook his head. "Georgia is fine."

Suddenly Kate heard Georgia stop crying. She looked up at Sawyer and he leaned down and kissed her mouth roughly. She moaned again and then there was a knock on the door.

"Son of a bitch," they both said. Kate picked up her pants and pulled them back on. She went to the door and Jack was standing there holding Georgia, who was still crying slightly. He handed her the baby.

"She wanted her momma," Jack stated with a smirk. "Oh…sorry I thought-I thought Sawyer went home. I'm sorry-oh I feel really dumb."

He left the bedroom. Kate sighed deeply and went back into the room. She put Georgia down on the bed with Sawyer and looked at him.

"I'll be right back."

When Sawyer picked up Georgia she stopped crying. He rubbed her back gently and watched Kate leave the bedroom. Kate walked across the hall to where Jack's room was. She knocked on the door and she heard movement in Jack's room. The door opened and Jack was standing in front of her.

"Jack, I'm sorry," she shrugged.

"Why are you sorry?" he asked. "He's your husband."

"I'm sorry," she shook her head. "I think we're actually just gonna go. We need to go home and talk. I have a lot to talk to him about."

"Is everything alright?" he questioned.

"I think it will be," she nodded. "We just have to talk about what happened earlier."

"If you need someone else to talk to Kate…I'm here," he replied.

"Thanks Jack."

Kate went back to the bedroom and then told Sawyer that they were going to leave and go home. When they got home they put the kids in their beds and went back to the bedroom. Kate had every intention of just talking to Sawyer. She went into the bedroom and Sawyer wasn't there. She looked around and then felt him quickly grab her and he tossed her on to the bed. He jumped on top of her and leaned down.

"Finally," he whispered. "You still horny Freckles?"

"Not really," she answered, pushing him away. "Sawyer we need to talk."

"Go ahead and talk then," he said reaching his hand down her pants. "I'll listen."

"Sawyer come on," she sighed. "Sawyer, I wasn't kissing Jack."

"Oh really?" he asked. "I saw you kissing him on the stairs in his house."

"You were spying on us?" she scoffed.

"Well my wife left my house with my two kids. I think I have a right to know what she's up to. You were kissing," he responded. "But you know what? I don't care. I just want to fuck you so hard that you scream my name. I want Jack to hear you screaming my name, so he knows I'm the only one who will satisfy you."

"Sawyer," she shook her head. He put his hand into her underwear and put two fingers into her without waiting. She bit her lip and moaned.

"Louder," he whispered into her ear. "I know you can moan louder than that Freckles."

He rolled over on top of her and continued to move his fingers in and out of her. She let out another moan and this time it was louder. He ran his other hand down her body and pulled her pants and underwear off. He took both hands off of her and she opened her eyes.

"James," she breathed. "I really think we should talk."

"Ok," he started. "I will tell you what I'm gonna do next. I'm gonna put my mouth on you and you're going to love every second of it till you come…and then I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you come again. Maybe more than once, because I know that I give you multiple orgasms each time my cock is inside of you."

"James," she whispered. He went down her body and stuck his tongue out. She moaned loudly and he continued to move his tongue in a circular motion. The faster he moved his tongue the louder she moaned. She came and he went up her body and started kissing her vigorously.

"You taste so sweet and good," he said into her mouth. "Can you taste yourself on my tongue?"

She started sucking on his tongue and they were both moaning. She could feel him growing hard on top of her.

"You're hard," she moaned.

"So hard," he agreed. She fumbled at his pants and pulled his jeans off.

"Aren't you glad that I can go all night?" she asked into his ear. He pushed down on her and went all the way in on the first try. She groaned loudly and nipped at his lips. They both came quickly and Sawyer rolled off of her. Kate rolled toward him and ran her hand through his hair.

"We can fuck again," he whispered. "You just gotta give me a few minutes."

"I don't want to," she shook her head. "I want to talk Sawyer. What's happening to us? How is it that all the sudden you're all insecure about me."

"I just see that way you look at Jack," he mumbled. "Kate, I know you love me, but part of me is just wondering, if maybe you want Jack because he can take better care of you."

"You take care of me Sawyer," she responded softly. "You hold me, and you're such a great dad. I love you so much. What makes you think that I would rather have Jack?"

"Because he's gonna be a doctor," he replied. "He's gonna have money his entire life. We've got money for now, but you're right…I mean without the life insurance money…we're screwed. I don't have a job, and I don't have any education so I can't-I just can't take care of you the way he can."

"Sawyer I wouldn't care if we were living in a box on the street, as long as we have each other and the kids, that's all that matters to me."

"You say that now Freckles," he sighed. "But just wait till it actually happens. You'll go to Jack and he'll make it all better."

"Sawyer, Sawyer, I'm not going anywhere," she whispered and ran her hand against his cheek. She leaned forward and kissed his lips.

**A/N: Thanks to those of you who have been reviewing. I read this thing online that was a interview with Carlton and Damon and they said that Sawyer was like Han Solo. That made me smile and go "Maybe then Kate is Princess Leia". Anyway, please review me!**


	41. Chapter 41

Sawyer woke up and saw Kate sleeping next to him. He reached over Kate's body and turned off the baby monitor. He leaned down and kissed her softly. He ran his hand down her body and kissed her harder. She kissed back and wrapped her arms around him. She moaned softly and turned her face.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"What darlin'?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," she said softly. "I'm so sorry."

"Sorry about what?" he questioned, continuing to kiss her.

"Kissing Jack," she replied.

"Did you like it?" he asked. "What did his tongue feel like in your mouth?"

"It made me feel awful," she shook her head. "I'm so sorry."

"No," he whispered. "That isn't what I meant. Tell me what his lips tasted like."

"Liquor," she answered.

"Did you like the feel of his soft lips all over your mouth?" he asked, continuing to kiss her, so that she couldn't answer.

"Not as much as I like your mouth," she replied softly.

"Hmm, good answer," he said softly, going back to kissing her. "Did he ever go down on you?"

"Yeah," she moaned as he put his hand between her legs.

"What about you?" he asked. "Did you suck his cock?"

"Uh huh," she nodded and put her hand into her underwear. She bit down on her lip and let out another moan as she pleasured herself.

"Did you like the taste of his cum?" he whispered, putting his hand into her underwear too and sliding one of his fingers into her, adding to the two that she already had. She let out a sharp moan and breath and pushed her hips up against both of their hands. "Did you?"

"What?" she moaned, forgetting the question.

"Did you like the way he tasted?" he asked. "Be honest Freckles."

"Did you like the way Claire tasted?" she asked opening her eyes and moving her fingers faster. Sawyer followed suit and started moving his own finger in and out of her, more quickly.

"Oh yeah," he said, covering her mouth with his. "Tell me how Jack tasted?"

"I loved it," she stated moaning even louder and then panting, not being able to catch her breath.

"Do I taste better?" he asked.

"I dunno," she breathed. "Harder. Harder."

She took her fingers out of herself and pulled her underwear down.

"Grind against me James," she whispered. "As hard as you can, but don't come because I want to taste you."

He groaned and complied. Kate could feel him harden beneath his boxers she put her hand between them as he grinded and started pleasuring herself again. She started screaming and he covered her mouth with his hand, which still had her wet need all over it. She moaned again and then flipped over on top of him.

"Are you ready?" she asked. He groaned loudly and she pulled his boxers off and slid down his body. They were both wet with sweat, and Kate slid down his body and started kissing his chest and stomach. She got to the bottom of his stomach and then looked up at him.

"Don't tell me when you're gonna come," she whispered.

"Oh fuck," he moaned. She didn't hesitate before taking him entirely into her mouth. The sounds she was making, made Sawyer even harder. He wrapped his hand around her hair and she started moving her mouth and tongue faster. He came hard and fast and she came back up his body and smiled at him.

"You," she whispered. "You taste better."

He groaned again and then rolled over on top of her. He started teasing her clit again and she let out a sharp scream and moan. And he pushed two fingers into her easily. She squeezed her thighs together, trapping his hand, and started moving her hips back and forth. She put her head against his chest and started moaning lowly, but loudly. She started kissing his chest and he made her come. She sighed in relief and backed away.

"Oh my God," she whispered. "I love you so much Sawyer. I'm not going anywhere. You said yesterday that you were worried about losing me…I'm not going anywhere. The other thing you said is that I would crave you. I more than crave you Sawyer. I need you. I need your looks, and your hand, and your cock. I walk around during the day, constantly wet and waiting for you to fuck me so I can breathe again."

He stayed quiet, and ran his hand over her face and kissed her softly. There was a soft knock on the door and Kate smirked, and covered herself up.

"Can you answer it this time?" she asked with a smirk. Sawyer sighed to himself, but got out of bed and walked over to the door. He opened the door and Aaron was standing in front of him.

"Daddy, Georgie too loud," he complained. Sawyer could hear Georgia crying in the other room. Kate looked at the baby monitor and saw that it was turned off. She glared at Sawyer, but smiled. He went to Georgia's room and picked her up.

"You're ok," he said softly.

He carried Georgia back into his and Kate's bedroom. Kate was covered up, and Aaron was sitting on the bed next to her. He sat down next to her, still holding Georgia and looked at her with a soft smile.

"There's another reason James," she whispered. "Another reason I could never ever leave you is because of how you are with the kids. I could never take them from you. I love you so much."

"I love you too," he said, leaning toward her and kissing her.

**4 Months Later**

Sam and Margo were still seeing each other without Christian knowing. Kate refused to let them stay at her house so they always went next door at the Shephard's. Kate was hoping that Jack wouldn't have to deal with listening to them. It was Georgia's birthday. Kate had invited a couple of the moms she knew from the park, but none of them were able to come. She told her dad and Margo about it, but she wasn't sure if they were going to come or not. She was getting the cake ready and Sawyer came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He kissed her neck.

"Whatcha doin'?" he asked softly into her ear.

"Putting the finishing touches on Georgia's cake," she answered. "What's it look like?"

"Dunno Freckles," he said, reaching his hand up her skirt. She leaned back against him and let him move his hands further up her skirt. He spun her around and lifted her up onto the kitchen counter. He stepped toward her and she wrapped her legs around him.

"Where are the kids?" she whispered, and he continued to kiss her neck and move his hands against her hips and legs.

"Both of em are napping and sleeping soundly," he said into her ear.

"Good," she said. She slid off the counter and pulled her underwear down. "Fuck me James."

She turned around so she was facing the counter. She leaned forward against the counter and lifted her skirt up over her hips. She took his hands and put them on her hips. She reached behind her and unzipped his pants. He pulled her toward him and pushed into her from behind. She gasped and moaned, almost sounding as if she was in pain.

"Does it hurt?" he asked softly.

"Yes, but don't stop," she breathed. "Please. I want you."

They both moved together and Sawyer came first, which triggered Kate to come too. She turned around and pulled her underwear up. She stepped toward him and kissed his lips softly. They stood in the kitchen kissing. There was a knock on the door, but Kate didn't move, and instead stayed with Sawyer, and continued to kiss him. She stopped kissing and chuckled, then they both walked to the door. Kate opened the door and Sam and Margo were standing there, and to Kate's surprise Christian was standing there too.

"Hey," Kate said softly.

"I didn't know if I was invited too," Christian shrugged. "But-I wanted to-I wanted to see my grandson. And my granddaughter."

Kate smiled weakly and nodded. She let them in the house and then went upstairs to get Georgia. Georgia was sitting up in her crib, completely content. When she saw Kate she grabbed on to the bars of the crib and stood up.

"Up!" she exclaimed. Kate chuckled and picked her up.

"Hey birthday girl," she said softly. She kissed her on the forehead and walked out into the hallway. Aaron was standing in the middle of the hallway and looked at Kate.

"Party mommy?" he asked.

"Yeah, it's time for your sister's party," she chuckled. "Come on."

She took Aaron's hand in her free hand and walked down the stairs with them. Aaron saw Margo and ran toward her.

"Grama!!" he exclaimed.

"Aaron!" she exclaimed with a laugh. She bent down and picked him up. Christian had spent some time with Aaron, but not much. And he had never met Georgia.

"Christian, this is Georgia," Kate said, handing Georgia to Christian. Georgia looked at Kate uneasily and then started crying.

"Georgia, it's ok," Kate whispered. "You're alright, it's just grandpa Christian."

"I know I'm not really her grandpa," he stated. "But it's kinda nice to have kids around again. I feel bad that I haven't been here lately. I haven't been here for my wife, and I barely know my own grandson."

"We all know you're busy," Margo said. "We understand."

She looked at Sam discreetly and Kate sighed inaudibly.

"Is Jack gonna come?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," Jack answered, stepping through the doorway. Christian was still holding Georgia, and Georgia was still crying. Jack stepped toward them and looked at Kate.

"Dad, what did you do to Georgia?" he said with a soft chuckle. He took Georgia from his dad, and she stopped crying.

Kate couldn't help but smile softly. She looked at Sawyer and they all sat down in the living room. For the next couple hours everything was casual and fine. Everyone was talking in general conversation. Jack was telling Kate and Sawyer about his last class as a graduate student before he was going into his first year of residency as a true doctor. Christian's cell phone kept ringing, but he kept ignoring it. Margo was obviously starting to get aggravated and jealous, which in turn was making Sam somewhat jealous.

"Why don't you just answer it babe?" Margo asked.

"It's not important," he shrugged. His phone rang again, which was the 5th time in 15 minutes. Margo quickly grabbed the phone from him as he looked at the caller ID.

"Hello?" Margo said. She waited and there was nothing. "Hello? Who is this?"

"Who is this?" a voice said.

"This is Margo Shephard," she answered. "Who is this?"

The line went dead and Margo chuckled to herself. She threw the phone hard at Christian and stood up.

"Who was that?!" she yelled.

"Margo settle dow-"

"No!" she screamed. "Are you cheating on me?!"

"No more than you are you slut," Christian said.

"Dad!" Jack exclaimed and stood up too. Sawyer stood between Jack and Christian. Aaron looked around at the adults curiously.

"Everyone here needs to calm the hell down," Sawyer said softly.

"Fuck that!" Margo screamed. She left the room and slammed the door. Georgia, who had been quiet for the entire day, and completely calm for the beginning of the fight, started crying. Jack went to pick her up, and Kate stepped in front of him and picked her up.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

"It's alright Jack," she smiled. "I know you just want to help, but this cry means that she wants her momma."

She bounced Georgia softly and Georgia started to calm down. Sawyer sighed softly and looked at Christian and Sam. They were looking at each other, almost looking like they were about to start fighting.

"Have you been fucking my wife?" Christian asked.

"Hey," Kate said loudly. "Do you mind not swearing in front of an impressionable two year old?"

"Sorry," Christian mumbled. "Have you been screwing my wife?"

"I'm in love with her," Sam answered.

"Son of a bitch!" he exclaimed and lunged at him. Sawyer and Jack both held back Christian and Sam.

"Calm down Sam," Sawyer said softly into Sam's ear. "You are the one here who was sleeping with his wife. Go take a walk alright."

"No need," Christian scoffed. "I'm leaving. Happy birthday Georgia."

Christian left the house and slammed the door again. Kate felt Georgia jump, but she had stopped crying for the most part and didn't start back up. Even though Georgia wasn't crying anymore Kate was still swaying back and forth slowly, and rubbing Georgia's back. Georgia's face was still damp with tears, and Kate wiped her eyes softly with her thumbs.

"You ok baby girl?" Kate whispered.

"Momma hold me!" Aaron asked. Sawyer picked up Aaron. "No daddy, mommy!"

He reached toward Kate.

"Hold on a minute Aaron," Kate said softly. "Let daddy hold you for a minute."

"No!" he whined. He wriggled from Sawyer's arms and grabbed on to Kate's legs, making her stumble, and almost fall on top of him.

"Aaron no!" Kate exclaimed.

"Hate you mommy!" he yelled back and ran out of the room.

"God does it ever end," Kate sighed. "First Margo and Christian…and now Aaron."

"I'm gonna get out of here too," Sam sighed.

"Dad, do you really thing that's a good idea?" Kate asked. "You're not gonna do anything stupid like go over to the Shephard's."

"I'm not going to let him hurt her," Sam answered.

"My dad may be a lot of things Sam, but he's not a wife beater," Jack stated.

"I dunno, when you're drunk enough anything is possible," Sam scoffed.

"Don't be an asshole," Jack said. "You've been sleeping with my mother, you're not a good guy."

"Stop it," Kate sighed. "Just stop it. Look…this is Georgia's day. We're gonna do cake. Dad, I would love for you to stay so that you can eat some cake, but there will be no more fighting. This is a one year old's birthday party. We should be having fun and teaching her how to say birthday, not sitting here screaming at each other."

"You're right Kate," Jack whispered. "I'm sorry."

"Me too sweetheart," Sam nodded. "I want to stay here. I want to see my granddaughter play with her birthday cake."

"Good," Kate smiled. "Now Sawyer can you go get Aaron please? So that he can watch his baby sister blow out her candle?"

Kate sat down at the kitchen table with Georgia. She had Georgia on her lap and was getting ready to light the candle, but Sawyer wasn't back yet. It had been almost 5 minutes.

"Do you want me to go see where he is?" Jack asked.

"I'm here," Sawyer sighed. "Aaron doesn't want to come down."

"Alright," Kate nodded. "Did you tell him that he wouldn't get any cake?"

"Yup," he answered. "I'll talk to him after the party. But you're right. It's Georgia's day, so I'm going to celebrate."

He kissed Kate on the lips and then kissed Georgia on the top of the head. She looked up at him and smiled widely.

"Dada," she smiled.

"Ok Georgia…ready?" Kate said softly and excitedly. Georgia giggled, and Kate lit the candle. They started singing happy birthday and Georgia laughed throughout the entire song. Sawyer and Kate helped her blow out the candle and she immediately plunged her hands into the cake. Kate quickly took the candle which was still in the cake out of the cake and she smiled at Sawyer. Georgia put her hand in her mouth which was still covered in cake. Her eyes went wide and she put her hands back in the cake and started eating it. Kate started laughing again and Sawyer bent down and looked at Georgia.

"Can I have some?" he asked. Georgia shook her head no and continued to eat the cake.

"Oh that's not nice Georgia," Kate chuckled. Sawyer took a piece of the cake in his hand and put it in his mouth.

"Damn Kate, that is good," he said looking at Kate. Kate took a small piece of cake and ate it.

"It is good," she nodded. "Thanks."

That night Aaron forgave Sawyer and Kate and he let them read him a bedtime story. Kate and Sawyer walked back to their room and laid down. Kate sighed softly and put her head against Sawyer's chest.

"Can you believe how fast a year went by?" she whispered. "I can't believe our baby is a year old."

"Pretty soon she'll be 2," he said running his hand over her back. "We said we'd wait till Georgia was one years old before having another one…so you wanna get started?"

She chuckled softly and ran her hand over his chest and leaned up to kiss him.

"I'm way too tired tonight," she chuckled. "But wake me up in the morning before the kids get up."

He kissed her softly and slowly and ran his hand down her back and down the back of her pajama pants. She let out a soft sigh and rolled over on top of him.

"I love fucking you," he whispered.

"I love it too," she nodded.

"I look at you and I get hard," he said. "You are the sexiest woman I've ever been with. You're beautiful."

She sat up and straddled him. He ran his hands over her hips and she leaned down on him and kissed him softly. She reached down into his boxers and he was already hard.

"I thought you were tired," he said throatily.

"What can I say," she whispered. "You woke me up."

He flipped them over and was now on top of her.

"Now what?" he asked.

"Talk to me," she said softly, bending her head back and closing her eyes. She ran her hand down the front of her body and then opened her eyes and looked at him. "Talk to me as dirty as you possibly can. I want you to make me so wet Sawyer."

"I'm going to fuck you so hard," he whispered. He pulled his boxers off and pulled her pants down to her knees. He pushed into her and she sighed deeply. "Do you like my cock in you?"

"Yeah," she moaned.

"Do you want me to go harder?" he asked.

"Fuck me," she nodded. He started moving faster and harder and neither one of them could catch their breath. They both came, and then they both fell asleep quicker than either of them meant to.

**A/N: I think I'm gonna do some more angst with the parents because that part was kinda fun to write. I hope everyone still enjoys this. I'm counting down by the hour till Lost returns as of right now it's 57 Days and 19 hours! We can make it! **


	42. Chapter 42

**3 Weeks Later**

Sawyer walked up the steps at the house and opened the front door. He was carrying Georgia. Kate was supposed to be taking care of Aaron. He didn't see any of them.

"Freckles!" he exclaimed. "Freckles you home!"

He ran up the stairs and heard movement in the bathroom. He went into the bathroom and Kate was sitting there with a bottle of rum. He set Georgia down and went into the bathroom.

"Kate, what are you doing?" he asked softly. "Where's Aaron?"

"Sleeping," she slurred. "Sawyer, I love you."

She wrapped her arms around him and he stood up. Bringing her with him.

"I love you too. Come on now, stand up," he said. She put her feet on the floor and looked at him.

"I want to have sex right now."

"Now?" he chuckled. "Why don't we wait till tonight after the kids are sleeping, and why don't you tell me what happened?"

"Nothing," she shook her head. "I'm just drunk."

She bent back down and picked up the bottle of liquor.

Over the next couple weeks Kate started drinking more and more. Sawyer tried to get her to tell him what was the matter, but she refused to talk to him. Sawyer got to the point that he didn't want to leave Kate alone with the kids. Even though she still wouldn't tell him what was bothering her, he didn't want to push her.

He had just gotten Aaron and Georgia to sleep, and went back downstairs. Kate was sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of wine. She was pouring the wine, and spilled it slightly. Sawyer sighed and sat down next to her. He took the bottle from her and looked at her.

"Kate, what's going on?" he asked. "I thought you wanted to have another baby. I'm not gonna get you pregnant when you're drinking like this."

"I don't care," she mumbled.

"Kate tell me what's wrong," he whispered, touching her face softly. "What's going on?"

"Been having really dumb dreams lately," she sighed, and drank the glass of wine.

"About?" he asked.

"Wayne," she answered and got up from the table. He followed her quickly and took her gently by the arm.

"2 weeks ago when you found me sitting on the bathroom floor," she sighed. "I found out that I'm not pregnant."

"Is that why you've started to drink?" he asked. "Because you weren't pregnant?"

"It hurts so much," she sobbed. "I just wish I could go back to that day and stop him. He was so strong-"

"Kate," he whispered. He stepped toward her and wrapped his arms around her. He rubbed her back gently. "Sweetheart you were just a little girl. It's not your fault. It's his. Say it."

"W-what?" she asked.

"Say it out loud. 'It's Wayne's fault'."

She shook her head, but then took a deep breath and nodded slowly.

"It's his fault," she whispered.

"It's your birthday," he sighed and shook his head. He hadn't exactly forgotten, but he had been preoccupied trying to take care of the kids, and trying to keep his eye on Kate so that she didn't drink herself to death. "That's why you're so-it's your birthday…the day that he-a birthday is supposed to be something happy Kate…so let's make a new memory. A stronger memory than what he did to you."

"How?" she sobbed. He had his arm around her and he walked over to the phone, keeping his arm around her. He dialed the phone, keeping one arm around Kate's waist.

"Hey, Margo," he said softly. "Do you mind taking care of the kids tonight? I'm taking my wife out for her birthday…we won't be back till morning. Good. Couple hours. Thanks."

"Wh-what?" she shook her head.

"There's a bed and breakfast 45 minutes away from here," he said touching her face softly. "Let's celebrate your birthday tonight, you can forget all about the horrible stuff that happened…how long ago? 9 years?"

"Yeah," she sniffled and nodded.

Sawyer drove to the small town where the bed and breakfast was located. They told him that the room wouldn't be ready till later that night so he took Kate out to eat first. During dinner Kate kept ordering drinks. She flirted with the waiter, trying to get free drinks, it worked all except the last time when his manager was standing too close for him to agree to it. Sawyer felt aggravated that Kate was using her sexuality to get free drinks, but at the same time, she drank 4 margaritas, so it was nice to only pay for one. When they got back to the bed and breakfast, she was falling over. He helped her up the stairs and he opened the door to the room. The room was filled with white roses. There was a bottle of champagne chilling, but Sawyer knew that they wouldn't really need any more alcohol since Kate was already drunk enough.

"Thank you," she slurred. She jumped up into his arms and wrapped her arms around him tightly.

"No problem," he chuckled. "Do you want me to kiss you?"

"Yes please," she smiled. He kissed her softly and then set her down.

"I'll be right back," he whispered. He left the room and Kate went over to the mini fridge. She opened the fridge and looked in at the assorted alcohol. The fridge was full of mini bottles of liquor. She pulled out a few of the bottles and downed two of them before Sawyer got back. She was getting drunker by the minute. The fourth margarita hadn't hit her quite yet. She got up and went over to the champagne. She still had two bottles of the mini bottles of liquor in her hands, but she tried to open the champagne anyway. When Sawyer came back into the room, he saw the two empty bottles, and noticed Kate trying to open the champagne to no avail.

"Kate," Sawyer whispered.

"Want some?" she asked, stumbling toward him and handing him the bottle.

"Not really," he answered.

"Good," she replied. "More for me."

"You really want to get this drunk Kate?" he asked. "You're already wasted. You're not even gonna remember any of this tomorrow."

"It's _my_ birthday," she nodded. "You're supposed to get trashed."

Since she couldn't get the champagne opened she took another bottle and drank the entire thing. She got up and wrapped her arms around him. He kissed her slowly. She jumped up and wrapped her legs around his hips.

"Fuck me," she whispered. She lowered back down to the ground and picked up another bottle. She drank half of it and then pressed her lips to his. She nipped at his lips gently with her teeth, and then fell against him. The momentum of her falling toward him made him stumble back, but that almost seemed to be Kate's plan all along because then she pushed him onto the bed and quickly jumped on top of him, straddling his hips. She was sitting on his stomach, but he could feel her bare bum inching down farther.

"You're really drunk," he said softly, as she sloppily kissed his chest and pulled his shirt off.

"I know," she replied. "I like the way it feels. It makes me feel numb. I'm so horny Sawyer. Please-"

She ran her hands down his stomach, she was top and in control. He let out a breath and leaned up to kiss her. She pulled her dress up over her head. Sawyer thought that she wasn't wearing underwear, but discovered she was. But actually what she was wearing didn't technically qualify as underwear. It was a thong, but there was barely and material at all. She wasn't wearing a bra either, so the only thing between them was Sawyer's rough jeans, and Kate's dainty lacy underwear. She pulled her underwear off, with some difficulty, which would have been amusing, had it not been pathetic. She flung the underwear at Sawyer, but totally missed since she was drunk and had absolutely no aim. Under any other normal circumstance, Sawyer would have stopped any other drunk girl, but considering it was his wife, and considering she was making him very hard, instead he went along with everything she did. She pulled her ponytail holder out and let her hair fall on her shoulders. It barely covered her nipples, which made Sawyer even more excited. He shifted his weight and she leaned down and started rocking her hips back and forth on his stomach. She wasn't close enough to actually penetrate herself, but she seemed to be having fun anyway. She put her mouth next to his ear and moaned drunkly. She started breathing heavily and then Sawyer suspected she came, but it wasn't the normal screaming and moaning she did, instead she was breathing and sighing, trying to catch her breath.

"Did you just come?" he whispered. She nodded and reached down to touch herself, she let Sawyer feel how wet she was too, and then rolled off of him. His pants were still completely on and not even unbuttoned. But he was very uncomfortable in the state he was in, to remain fully clothed. He unzipped his pants and pulled them down to let his erection spring free. He rolled over on top of her and looked down at her. She was still wide awake, but obviously drunker than before. She definitely wasn't really paying attention to anything around her.

"Freckles," he said softly. "You still with me? Or do I need to go relieve this massive hard on, alone in the bathroom."

"No!" she exclaimed and opened her eyes wider. "No don't leave, don't leave, I'm awake. I'm just drunk. But you stay here ok?"

She was slurring her words so badly that Sawyer could hardly understand her, but he managed to. He nodded and then started rubbing against her, she moaned again and then started trying to kiss him, but her lips weren't going anywhere near his.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked softly.

"Fuck me," she moaned again. "Make me pregnant."

Later that night Kate was in the bathroom, puking. Sawyer was holding her hair back. She turned around and her face was damp with tears.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "Did I puke on you?"

"Thankfully no," he chuckled. "We were all done with the baby making…you were laying on your side thank god. Come on…let's get up."

"Did I puke in the bed?" she asked softly, almost starting to cry again.

"No sweetie," he whispered. "You made it to the bathroom in time."

"Where are my underwear!" she exclaimed. "I want them. I'm naked."

"Yes you are," he let out a soft chuckle. "But we always sleep naked. It's not a big deal."

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"Don't be," he said softly. "Come on, I'll put you to bed."

He helped her stand up and put her into bed. He covered her with the blankets and then laid down next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the side of the face. She reached down and started touching herself. He looked at her somewhat curiously, but her eyes stayed closed.

"Whatcha doing Freckles?" he whispered.

"I need to come again," she answered. "Help me."

She took his hand in hers and he helped her come to climax, then to his surprise and relief she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

The next morning Kate was in the bathroom throwing up again. Sawyer could hear her and got up. He felt like they already had a third kid. Kate had her head resting on the side of the toilet. She looked up at him and chuckled.

"What a pretty sight huh?" she mumbled.

"You always look gorgeous," he answered.

"Thanks," she said. "Sawyer what the hell happened last night? I don't remember any of it."

"Nothing?" he asked, slightly shocked. "I made you come 4 times."

"No wonder I'm sore," she whispered. "I feel like…God, I dunno. I feel like shit, but I really don't remember anything after we got back here. I remember leaving the restaurant, and I remember that our waiter wanted my number, but-"

"We got here, and you wanted nothing but sex," he answered. "You climbed on top of me and got yourself off without any help from me, and then you wanted my help, so you came twice during the sex, and then a couple hours after that you were puking, and you wanted to come once more I guess, so you started to touch yourself, and then you wanted my help…so I obliged, considering you were the birthday girl."

"Hmm, all that talk of what we did is kinda making me want to do it again so that I can remember," she said with her eyebrows raised.

"You done pukin'?" he asked softly. She nodded. "Good…come here. Let's get in the shower."

He helped her stand and then she got into the shower. He got into the shower behind her and started running his hands gently over her skin as the water ran over them. She turned toward him and put her head against his chest. He ran his hands through her hair.

"Does my hair smell bad?" she whispered. "I puked in it."

"Well we can fix that," he answered. He reached over and picked up the shampoo. He washed her hair and then moved his hands down her body again. He kissed her neck and she turned around to face him. He lifted her up and kissed her lips.

"My mouth probably tastes like puke," she said, turning her head. He pushed her up against the shower wall and continued to kiss her neck. She stepped toward him and wrapped her legs around him. "Wait."

She got back off of him, and stopped touching him.

"Tell me what I did to you, and to myself last night."

"First," he started in a low voice. "You drank. You had 4 margaritas at the restaurant, and then you raided the mini fridge. I don't know exactly how many you had, but I think you had 5 or 6. And by that time you were pretty drunk. You asked me to fuck you."

"Yeah," she breathed.

"You stumbled forward and fell into me, but then you pushed me into the bed and climbed on top of me. You were still wearing your dress, but then you immediately took it off. And then you pulled your underwear off…if you can even call that underwear…then you straddled me and started moving back and forth, and up and down. I didn't have to do anything except lay there and get harder as you came. Then you rolled off of me, and seemed like you might be going to sleep, but since I was still very hard, I rolled over on top of you and asked you what you wanted."

"Stop," she whispered. She reached between her legs and started rubbing her legs, and then moved two of her fingers into her. The water was starting to get cold but neither of them cared. "Ok…keep talking."

"You told me again that you wanted me to fuck you. I lifted myself over you using my arms. You ran your hands over my arms and then over my chest. You grabbed a hold of my cock to guide me in. I couldn't wait anymore because I knew at any moment I would explode. I pushed into you and I only thrusted twice before we both came. You screamed my real name so loudly I think you probably woke up the entire B & B. But you still wanted more. You wrapped your legs around me to hold me there. We made out until you passed out and then we both slept."

She let out a soft scream of excitement and came. He smirked at her and she sighed deeply.

"So what do you think about this new birthday memory Freckles?" he asked.

"If every birthday is this amazing…that one horrible birthday will be well worth it," she answered. "I'm so glad that your bigger than Wayne. You sometimes hurt me with your size, but I love it. It makes me feel like I'm a virgin sometimes and it makes me think that maybe I lost my virginity to you. Even though I know in my heart I didn't."

"Do you ever miss it?" he asked. "Sleeping with anything with a dick? Being the town slut?"

"Not really," she shook her head. "You?"

"Not gonna lie Kate, occasionally…yes," he nodded. "I sometimes have fantasies about you me and a hot blonde."

"Never gonna happen cowboy," she scoffed. "Ok…the water is kinda cold…let's get out and warm up."

"Again?" he asked. "I mean-"

"Hey…I didn't remember the seemingly hottest sex we've ever had…and it's my birthday…I think we can try to recreate it…as least just this once."

"Well thank god I only got to come once last night or it would be a no go Freckles," he chuckled.

"Maybe we can beat the record, and you can make me come 5 times this time."

Kate and Sawyer spent the rest of the morning, trying to recreate what had happened the previous night. It was still very affective and Kate did meet the goal of coming 5 times, but Sawyer didn't think it had the same spontaneity and hotness as it had the previous night. He drove them home and Kate was already starting to act like his old Freckles. He hoped that she wouldn't drink the rest of their own liquor cabinet that night.

When they got home Kate opened the front door and heard both Aaron and Georgia crying. Georgia's sounded more like a screaming than crying, but Aaron was definitely crying and upset about something.

"Aaron!" she exclaimed running toward the crying.

"Momma!" Georgia cried when she saw Kate. Aaron came running toward Kate. Kate picked him up and Sawyer went toward Georgia and picked her up.

"What's the matter Aaron?" Kate whispered. Aaron continued to cry, and Kate knew that he wasn't going to be able to tell her, the way he was crying. Even if he tried, she knew that she would never be able to understand him.

"Baby," she whispered. "It's ok. Mommy and daddy are here now. What happened baby?"

He continued to cry and Kate looked around. She wondered where all the adults were that were supposed to be taking care of the kids. Technically Sawyer did ask Margo, and not Sam, but he was sure that where Margo was, Sam would follow.

"Hello?!" he exclaimed through the house. He was still holding on to Georgia. She had her head pressed against his chest. She was still crying, but had calmed down since Sawyer had picked her up. Finally he went into the backyard where Christian and Margo were screaming at each other. The back door had been closed, so they didn't hear it before, over the kids crying. He set Georgia down and she screamed louder.

"No! No! Dada! No!" she screamed.

"George," he said gently and calmly. "It's alright my love. I'm going to go see what grandma and grandpa are doing."

"No!" she screamed and sobbed as Sawyer went outside. The only words Georgia knew how to use well were Momma, dada, and no. She frequently said 'no' to Aaron, but this time it was different. It was almost as if she was begging Sawyer not to go outside. He went outside anyway and when he closed the door he could hear Georgia screaming and crying for him 'Dada, dada, dada, dada, no, no, no, no'. The way she was screaming was heartbreaking, and almost made Sawyer turn back but then...Then Sawyer realized what Georgia was scared of and screaming about. He saw Christian staring at Margo. The screaming had stopped, but he saw that Christian had a gun.

Kate was in the house. Aaron had calmed down for the most part, and she was trying to make some sense of what was going on, but considering the witnesses were a barely 3 year old and a 1 year old, she knew that she wouldn't get much.

"Grampa was yelling and mad," Aaron frowned.

"Ok, is Grandpa here?" Kate asked.

"Yeah," he nodded. "Outside with gramma. Momma no go out. No go out momma. Grampa mean."

"Did grandpa yell at you and Georgia, is that why you're crying?" she asked.

"Gramma told me 'take Georgie inside!'. Grampa had a thingy," Aaron said, trying to get the right word. "It was black and it was a thingy. I dunno mommy."

"It's ok," she whispered. "But did you say that grandma was yelling too?"

"Gramma and grampa mad," he said. She heard Sawyer open the back door and she could hear yelling briefly and then complete silence. She heard the backdoor shut, and she could hear Georgia yelling for Sawyer, but wasn't quite sure why. She heard Margo scream from outside and then a gunshot and her heart fell into her stomach.

**A/N: Cliffy cliffy. Please review! I hope you all enjoyed!**


	43. Chapter 43

**Flashback**

Margo was sitting on the couch with Aaron on her lap. He was listening to the story she was reading. Georgia was sitting on the floor playing with a couple of her toys. Margo heard a loud pounding at the front door. Aaron looked at her slightly frightened.

"It's ok buddy," she said, patting him softly on the top of the head. She went to the door and opened it.

"Is he here?" Christian asked, pushing past her. "Tell me! Is he here!"

"Grampa no!" Aaron cried. Georgia started crying too, and Aaron went to the floor with her.

"Who?" Margo asked softly. "Sam? Well even if he was…he lives here, Christian."

"Are you still fucking him?" he questioned, stepping toward her threateningly.

"Christian, please, the children," she whispered.

"I don't care!" he screamed. "I deserve to know who is with my wife!"

"What about you?!" she yelled back. "You had another kid with another woman! Did I leave and get pissed and walk out on you and Jack? No…I raised Claire as if she was my own!"

"This is a little different…and I apologized for that," he answered, still loudly. "You don't even care!"

"You're not here Christian," she sobbed. "You're never here! You're in love with your job! You'd rather go to the bar and get drunk than come home and be with me! I needed someone who cared! It's not about the sex…it's about having someone I can turn to. Someone to talk to!"

"You fucking bitch," he mumbled. He stepped toward her again and shoved her up against the wall. By this time Aaron and Georgia were both screaming and crying, but Christian seemed to not hear it.

"Christian, please," she whispered. "Let's go outside."

"Fine," he answered. He lifted his shirt and Margo saw the gun. She wasn't sure if he did it on purpose so she would see it, or if he didn't want her to see it at all. She took a deep breath and let out a couple soft gasps.

"Ok," she said softly, trying her best to hide her fear in her voice. Christian then pulled the gun out and pointed it at her.

"Christian!" she screamed. "Don't! Think of the children! Don't! Babies, stay here. I'm gonna go outside."

"No gramma no!" Aaron cried.

"I'll be right back ok," she bent down and kissed him on the top of the head, and then quickly left the house. Christian followed her.

**Flashback Over**

Kate could hear Georgia screaming. She ran into the hallway and saw Christian laying on the ground. Sawyer was holding Margo who had dissolved to tears. Kate put her hand to her mouth and quickly picked up Georgia and hid her face from the sight. Aaron started coming into the room, and Kate quickly grabbed his hand and took him up stairs. She took Aaron and Georgia into Aaron's room and they piled on to Aaron's bed. She got both of them to calm down, but she hadn't calmed down. She heard the back door slide open and then she heard footsteps on the stairs.

"Kate," Sawyer said softly. He came into the room and hugged her. She took a deep breath and shook her head.

"What happened?" she whispered.

"I'm gonna tell you, but-" he gestured at the kids. She stood up and followed him into the hall.

"Margo's calling 9-1-1," Sawyer said softly. "He's breathing. But he's-I shot him-well actually technically he shot himself. He was going to shoot Margo…I had to do something."

"You could have gotten yourself killed," she sighed and wrapped her arms around him. He rubbed her back and sighed deeply.

They were waiting in the living room for the police and the ambulance. Kate was chewing on her thumb nail and waiting impatiently. The ambulance got there and rushed Christian and Margo to the hospital. Margo explained what happened, but they still took Sawyer in for questioning. They questioned Kate too, but allowed her to stay at the house because of the kids.

Kate was in the house by herself. She fed the kids and was in the middle of putting Aaron to bed when she heard the garage door open. She bolted down the stairs, skipping several steps as she went, and practically falling down. Aaron was following her. When she got to the doorway Sawyer stepped in and hugged Kate. She took a deep breath and looked at him.

"Well?" she asked.

"I'm not charged with anything," he whispered. "Christian is going to be ok…but I'm kinda worried about what might happen when he gets released from the hospital. I mean he was threatening Margo. He was gonna kill her. He would have if I hadn't-I mean-who does that?"

"He was mad," she shrugged. "I mean I know that's not a good enough excuse, but-I guess love can make you do pretty crazy things."

"Well just to let you know Freckles," he started, putting his hands on her cheeks. He didn't finish his sentence before Kate chuckled softly and leaned forward to kiss him.

"Daddy!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Oh, hey buddy," he said, backing away from Kate and picking him up. "Did you take care of mommy while I was gone?"

"And Georgie too," he answered proudly.

"You're a good big brother," Sawyer said. He carried Aaron back upstairs and put him into bed. Kate followed, and both Sawyer and Kate kissed him goodnight. Then they walked back to their own room. Kate laid down and got out of his clothes and climbed into bed wearing just his boxers. Kate quickly went toward him and wrapped her arms around him. Sawyer put an arm around her and kissed her gently on the temple.

"I almost lost you today," she whispered.

"Hey," he said, rubbing her back softly. "No you didn't."

"What if-" she breathed.

"Shh," he whispered. "No 'what if's' Kate. I'm fine. The bullet didn't come anywhere near me."

"I can't lose you," she sniffled. He took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. He rolled over on top of her and she deepened the kiss. Her face was still damp with tears, but it soon was just damp from Sawyer kissing her and sweat. As Sawyer hovered over her Kate bit her bottom lip, waiting for him. He lowered down and Kate closed her eyes. She kept her eyes closed and moaned softly. He was pushing her to be louder, but she wasn't.

"Sawyer," she moaned softly. She bit her lip again and gripped his shoulders tighter. He started thrusting harder and she moaned slightly louder, but still softly. She let out soft breaths into his ear and he knew that she was enjoying herself.

"Harder?" he asked softly.

"No," she whispered. "This way."

She rolled them over and pushed herself down. He gently ran his hand down her back and then back up. He came, but she stayed on top of him and started rocking her hips over his. She moaned and pushed her face into his neck to muffle the moans.

"Hmm," she said softly. "I'm so wet but I can't come."

"Why not?" he asked gruffly.

"I need you to make me come," she replied, moving his hand between them. He started touching her and she let out a satisfied sigh. "I'm still so fucking wet. Make me come James."

She started moving against his hand, and then moved faster, and she moaned loudly and came. She rolled away from him, but still stayed facing him.

"Sawyer?" she whispered.

"Yeah," he said.

"I need to go to the Shephard's tomorrow."

"Why?" he asked.

"Jack," she answered.

"I just got through giving you giving you the best orgasm of your life, and you have to bring up him?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she sighed. "I have to make sure he's ok. I mean-his family is falling apart. And his dad was just shot for god sakes.

"I lied," he mumbled.

"About what?" she asked.

"He's not ok," he sighed. "I didn't want you to freak out-"

"What do you mean he's not ok?!" she exclaimed.

"He's not dead, but he's in pretty bad shape," he answered. "I just-Kate I didn't want you to flip out. And it's still technically your birthday weekend. I didn't want to ruin it-"

"Did you lie to me about not having any charges brought against you?" she asked. "Or I'm I gonna get a huge surprise when I get a call telling me I need to come down to the jail to visit my husband?"

"I didn't lie about that Freckles," he said softly. "They told me that it was purely self defense. I'm not gonna go to jail. I promise. I'm gonna be here for you and Georigie, and Aaron."

"Ok," she whispered. "But I'm still going to the Shephard's tomorrow."

"Fine," he mumbled.

* * *

Kate took a deep breath and stepped toward the door. Before she knocked, she realized that it was not only possible, but probable that Jack was at the hospital with his dad. She decided to knock anyway. To her surprise she heard the sound of someone coming to the door. She still thought that maybe it would be Margo instead of Jack to answer. Jack opened the door and looked at her.

"Hey," she whispered.

"Hi," he said softly.

"I'm so-I don't even know what to say," she shook her head.

"He died," Jack murmured. "This morning."

"Jack-" she started. She stepped toward him and wrapped her arms around him. "I am so sorry Jack. I'm sorry."

"It's not your fault," he replied. "It's that jerk of a husband that you have."

"Jack, he was trying to save your mom. Would you rather have your dad shoot your mom and kill her?"

"Well no," he mumbled.

"He didn't mean-he feels bad," she told him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I should be-I'm just really really-I don't know what to do. And my mom's freaking out, she won't even come home. She spent the night at your house I guess."

"No, my dad wasn't home last night," she shook her head.

"Oh," he sighed.

"Jack-" she started again. She hugged him again and he finally invited her inside. They went into the kitchen, and Jack offered her a place to sit. She sat down at the kitchen table and he went to the liquor cabinet. Kate looked at him and he set the bottle between them.

"You wanna drink with me?" he asked.

"Sure," she nodded.

They sat in the kitchen for almost an hour. They were taking shot after shot, and they were both feeling it. Kate got up from her spot and stumbled slightly. Jack stood up to catch her even though she didn't exactly need catching.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Jack, I gotta go," she whispered.

"Wait," he shook his head and kissed her softly. She kissed him back and didn't let go. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer. She gasped slightly, but they continued to kiss. He walked forward, forcing Kate to walk backward, into the living room. She landed on the couch and he landed on top of her. Kate pushed him up slightly, but he just leaned back down and kissed her deeper.

"Jack," she whispered.

"Kate," he moaned.

"Jack wait," she said softly.

"I miss you so much," he said. "I miss you Kate. I want to have sex. Make all this pain just stop Kate."

"Jack, I have to go," she whispered. "I'm married. I have to go. I can't do this."

She quickly pushed him off of her and got away from him. She ran from the house and ran back next door. Tears were streaming down her face. She composed herself before she went inside. She opened the door and Sawyer was sitting on the couch tickling Georgia. She was laughing, and so was he. Kate took a deep breath and walked toward them.

"I'm back," she said.

"You crying?" he asked.

"Jack's dad-" she shook her head. "He died."

"Shit," he whispered softly.

The rest of the day Kate spent thinking about what had happened with Jack. She didn't want to keep it from Sawyer, but at the same time, she knew that Sawyer would overreact and get pissed off if he found out. They hung out with the kids the rest of the day. They took them into the pool. Kate wanted them to learn how to swim as early as possible since they had a pool in the back yard. Kate put life jackets on both of them, and both she and Sawyer were in the pool at the same time with the kids so that nothing would happen.

That night they were laying in bed. Sawyer leaned toward her and started kissing her. She kept being reminded of her kiss with Jack. She kissed him back, but then quickly backed away.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I need to say something. I have to-I kissed Jack."

"What?" he asked.

"I kissed Jack," she said guiltily. "I'm so sorry. I wasn't going to tell you, but I couldn't-I had to tell you, I'm sorry Sawyer. I'm sorry James. Please please, I'm sorry."

"Wait what?" he asked. "You kissed-why?"

"I dunno," she shook her head. "I was drunk, and I was-I don't know. He was hurting and I just-I don't know what I was thinking…I just-please forgive me Sawyer. Please."

"I hate this," he scoffed. "I really really hate this. I want to hate you but I can't hate you. I'm so pissed off but all I want to do is feel sorry for you because you're crying. Dammit!"

"Sawyer," she whispered. "It didn't mean anything."

"You drank?" he asked. "Well to be honest I'm a little more pissed about you drinking than anything else. You want a baby right? Well until you can prove to me that you can stay sober for more than one week, we're not having sex."

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "The only reason why I drank was because Jack was sad. He wanted me to drink with him. I didn't…please…if I can't have sex with you-"

"You'll live," he answered. "Wait a week. If you don't drink anything in a week…I mean come on it should be easy for you Kate…if you really want a baby that bad…it'll be a piece of cake. But first…"

He covered her mouth with his and kissed her deeply. He rolled over on top of her and rubbed against her. She let out a sharp breath of acceptance and he pulled her pants down quickly.

"Did you feel slutty today when you kissed Jack?" he asked.

"Yes," she nodded seriously.

"Good," he replied. He rolled off of her and faced his body away from her.

**3 Days Later**

Kate had been alone with the kids all day. Both of them had been a handful. Sawyer was out looking for a job. Not because he needed one, but because he was sick of sitting at home all day everyday, not doing anything. He was bored with his life. He loved Kate and the kids, but he was antsy to get out and do something. When he got home Kate told him she was going upstairs to take a bath, and he could take care of the kids for a couple hours. Sawyer didn't have a problem with that. He went into the kitchen to do the dishes which were sitting in the dish drain. He could smell alcohol emanating from the sink. He picked up a glass that he knew that Kate had been using earlier. It reeked of alcohol. He went into the living room where the kids were and shook his head.

"Aaron stay down here with Georgie ok?" he said softly. "I'm gonna be right back."

"Ok daddy," he answered, going back to playing with some of Georgia's toys.

Sawyer went up the steps quickly and knocked on the bathroom door softly.

"Hold on," Kate said.

"No," he answered. He tried opening the door and found that it was locked. Instead of waiting any longer he kicked the door in, and saw that Kate was in the process of hiding a bottle of rum.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," she breathed. "But I've had a rough day with the kids, and I just needed a drunk."

"You needed a drunk or a drink Kate?" he scoffed. "You're already trashed. Look at yourself."

"I don't have a problem, I can stop any time I want, I just don't want to," she answered.

"Fuck this," he scoffed. He took the bottle from her and drank from it. "It's been 3 days of you not drinking, and us not fucking. I'm horny."

"Me too," she whispered. "I was just gonna-well you already know about my vibrator."

He quickly took her hand and pulled her into a standing position. They both fumbled at their clothes. Sawyer took the bottle of rum again and drank another deep gulp. He pushed her roughly against the wall and she gasped. He wasn't gentle or loving, but Kate didn't care. He covered her mouth with his hand to keep her from screaming too loudly. When they were done Sawyer took the bottle of rum. There was only a little bit left in the bottom of the bottle, so he downed it and then went into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Kate went back downstairs. She was slightly scared, and didn't know how mad Sawyer was at her. She decided to give him some time to cool off before talking to him again.

The rest of the day and night went by slowly. Kate kept wanting to go upstairs to talk to Sawyer, but she didn't want to start a bigger fight.

That night they were laying in bed, not facing each other and not talking. Sawyer knew that he had overreacted slightly, but he was still a little pissed at Kate for drinking. Kate sighed softly to herself, and then got out of the bed. She opened the drawer next to her bed and took something out of the drawer, then left. Sawyer furrowed his eyebrows and followed her. The bathroom door was closed and he pressed his ear against it. He heard the water running and decided to wait in the hall. It took about 5 minutes before he heard the water turn off. He could hear the water sloshing, and knew that Kate was in the bathtub. He could faintly hear moaning coming from the other side of the door. He opened the door, and to his surprise it was unlocked. Kate looked up at him and he got down on his knees next to her.

"What are you doing?" he whispered.

"I'm really fucking horny, I didn't come earlier when we had sex," she answered. He looked into the water and saw that she had a dildo. "I knew you were too pissed to fuck me."

"That's where you'd be wrong," he replied. He stripped down and got into the tub with her. He climbed on top of her and pushed her toy further into her. She sighed deeply and moaned. "I'm never to pissed to fuck you Kate."

"I love my toys," she told him. "They're way better than you because they don't yell at me, and hurt me on purpose."

"You love it and you know it," he growled into her ear. "And besides, you're the idiot who's getting drunk when you should be taking care of our kids.

"Don't call me an idiot," she whispered.

"What would you call it?" he asked, starting to tease her slightly, and continuing to move her plastic dildo in and out of her.

"Get off of me," she said. "I don't want you."

"Fine," he answered. "We'll see how you feel when you come back to bed."

Kate finished in the bathroom and then came back into the bedroom. Sawyer was laying down, with the comforter covering him, but she knew that he was naked underneath.

"Goodnight," she whispered. "I'll see you in the morning."

"Come on Freckles," he said, moving closer to her, so that his face was next to her neck, but they weren't touching. "I know that you're still wet. I know that you still want me. You always want me. Late at night after the kids have fallen asleep…you have dreams about what I could be doing to you, so then you wake up and make your own dreams come true. We fuck every night. Why should tonight be any different? Because we're mad? Well that will only make it better baby. Let me fuck you. Take all your anger out on my body. Or even better. Pretend that I'm Jack. Close your eyes and pretend it's Jack hovering above you. It's Jack's swollen cock inside of you instead of me."

"It would never work," she breathed.

"Why not?" he asked seductively.

"Because Jack's cock is better than yours ever will be," she answered.

He grabbed her roughly and pulled her underwear off. He slammed into her without waiting and continued to thrust roughly. Kate tried not to moan or show him that he had any affect on her at all, but the quicker he was the more she moaned. She smacked him in the face and he slammed back down into her and nipped her neck.

"I think of Claire every single night," he whispered into her ear. "Claire was so innocent and amazing. Once I got to you, you were damaged goods. You were already a slut. You didn't give me nearly the orgasms as Claire did. I want to love her, but fuck you."

"Fuck you!" she exclaimed with tears coming down her face. "You were just as much of a slut as me. Get the fuck off of me. Get off!"

She shoved him off of her and got dressed quickly and ran down the stairs. Sawyer sighed softly to himself. He hadn't meant a word of what he said, but since she was telling him that Jack was better than him, he felt like he had to say something just as hurtful to her. He went downstairs to follow her and found her sitting at the kitchen table with a glass of what he thought was just water. He sat down next to her and then could smell that it was alcohol.

"Freckles," he started.

"Sawyer I'm really tired," she sighed. "Can we just forget this day ever happened?"

The next day Kate told Sawyer that she had a couple errands to run so he stayed at home with the kids. When she came home, she mysteriously disappeared up the stairs. Sawyer was in the middle of the story he was reading to Georgia and Aaron. He decided that he would finish the story before going upstairs to see what Kate was up to. It took him 10 minutes to finish reading, and Kate still wasn't back. He walked up the stairs slowly and he could hear movement in the bedroom. He heard the familiar buzzing of her vibrator and shook his head. He opened their bedroom door and Kate was laying on the floor.

"What are you doing?" he asked, more like a scoff.

"I'm drunk," she chuckled. "You were busy, so I'm thinking about you."

"God Kate," he shook his head. "What do you-is this the errand you had to run?"

"Liquor," she slurred.

"Did you drink and then drive?"

"Yes, but don't be mad," she frowned, and turned off the vibrator. "Come 'ere."

"Kate, it's 5:00 in the afternoon. I'm going back stairs to be with our kids. Sleep this off and then maybe join us for dinner."

Kate didn't come down for dinner and didn't help Sawyer put the kids to bed.

The next few weeks Kate didn't get better. Sawyer kept thinking that he was seeing an improvement, but then she would get drunker than the day before. He learned to keep the kids away from her, but he was beginning to get very discouraged. They continued to have sex, but only because Kate would use everything in her power to get him aroused so that he would give in. Kate was a drunk, and Sawyer could learn to live with that, but he refused to have another baby with her, which pissed her off.

One day, after 3 and a half weeks of dealing with Kate being drunk, Sawyer went upstairs in the bathroom and found Kate sitting on the toilet with a bottle of pills in one hand and a pregnancy test in the other. The bottle of pills was half empty. He took the bottle from her quickly and saw that it was a prescription for vicodin.

"How long have you been taking these?" he asked.

"2 weeks," she mumbled. He threw the bottle hard against the bathroom wall and the bottle opened and pills went everywhere. Kate quickly got to her knees and started picking them up.

"Stop it!" he yelled. He grabbed her by the wrist and she opened her hand and let the pills fall again. She breathed in deep and started sobbing.

"I can't," she shook her head. "It hurts. I need something-I'm not pregnant."

"Kate, I've been doing everything to prevent that from happening-" he started.

"No!" she exclaimed, beginning to sob all over again. "I was…I was pregnant. Couple weeks ago…I found out that I was pregnant but I lost the baby."

"Well as much as you're drinking, it doesn't surprise me," he spat standing up and starting to leave the bathroom.

"Don't you care!" she screamed.

"Dammit Kate, of course I do!" he yelled back and pushed her up against the wall. "Do you think I wanted that to happen?! To either of us! I'm sorry…but I can't stay…you keep on threatening to leave and go to the Shephard's…well now it's my turn. I'm going, and I'm taking the kids. I can't be with you when you're like this."

"No," she shook her head and sobbed. "No. Please don't leave. Don't go. I need you. I need your help James."

She fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around him. As much as he wanted to walk away, he knew that he never would. He went to his knees too and wrapped his arms around her. She started sobbing uncontrollably, and he couldn't do anything but sit there and hold her.

**A/N: OK…I know I'm really dramatic…lol. I'm going to probably end it somewhat soon. I know that I said I would continue till the end of the hiatus, but I feel that this has had as much drama as I can write. But please please review. I'll try to update soon. **


	44. Chapter 44

They were still kneeling on the bathroom floor. Sawyer was trying to get Kate to calm down, but it seemed like she was only crying harder. He stood up and took Kate by the hands. He tried to pull Kate up to her feet, but she refused to stand.

"Come on Kate," he sighed. "Stand up."

"Don't be mad," she sobbed.

"I ain't mad," he replied. "Just help me out here. Stand up."

"No," she said, clinging to his neck. "You're gonna leave."

"I'm not gonna leave," he whispered. Knowing that she wasn't going to stand up on her own, Sawyer picked her up and carried her back to the bedroom. He put her down on the bed and pulled the covers over her.

"Sleep this off," he mumbled. He started walking away and she grabbed on to his arm and started leaving the bed again. He pushed her back down and sat down next to the bed.

"Don't leave," she whispered. "Stay with me."

"I'll stay till you fall asleep," he answered. "Just go to bed."

He sat there with her and when she seemed to be sleeping he stood up.

"Where are you going?" she asked, as he started leaving the room.

"Well Kate, in case you haven't noticed, we have two babies, downstairs all by themselves. You're going to stay in here and sleep this off, and I'm gonna go downstairs and take care of the kids."

"Don't go," she sniffled. "Please, don't go James."

"I have to," he shook his head. "I'll be downstairs if you need me."

"I need you!" she exclaimed.

"For what?" he asked. "Kate go to sleep…make sure you stay on your side. I'll be up in a little bit to check on you."

He left the bedroom and shut the door. Aaron was climbing up the stairs. He looked at Sawyer with a frown and Sawyer sighed softly. He picked him up and carried him back down the stairs.

"Daddy are you mad?" he asked.

"No buddy," he sighed. "I'm just kinda sad. I'm gonna call grandma and uncle Jack ok?"

He tried to put Aaron down, but Aaron held on to Sawyer's neck. Sawyer sighed again and walked over to the couch. He sat down and Aaron curled up on his lap with his arms still clinging on to Sawyer for dear life. Georgia started whining when she couldn't climb up on to the couch. Sawyer helped Georgia on to the couch and held both children on his lap. He sighed softly again and reached over to pick up the phone.

"Jack," he sighed, when Jack answered the phone. "It's Kate."

"I haven't seen her in almost a month, I don't know what she told you-"

"She's sick," he mumbled. "Jack, she's taking prescription drugs, and she's been drinking."

"That's not Kate," Jack answered. "Kate would never do that. She loves her kids way too much. What are you trying to do?"

"Nothing," he sighed. "I'm telling you the truth. I found her with a bottle of vicodin. Jack, I need your help. I just need your help to-"

"I'll be over in a minute," Jack interrupted.

A couple minutes later Jack was at the front door. Sawyer let him in and still had the kids clinging to him.

"Where is she?" Jack asked.

"She's upstairs," Sawyer sighed. "I just didn't know what else to do. You're a doctor, maybe you can knock some sense in to her."

"I don't believe you," Jack shook his head. "That's why I came. I don't believe that Kate would do that."

"You don't even know her Jack!" Sawyer exclaimed. "You spent a few months getting to know her, and getting into her pants, and that's it."

"I've known her more than a few months Sawyer. Aaron is 3 years old. I met her before Aaron was born."

"I know," Sawyer sighed. "Look…I know you think you know everything about her, but you don't. Kate gets-she gets on these kicks. Sometimes it's sex, sometimes alcohol, most of the time both. She used to come home trashed every night and bringing a different guy home-I wasn't much better, and I'm not trying to make myself out as some saint, but Kate has never done drugs before now. I don't know why. And she won't-I guess she was pregnant…she lost the baby, and it kinda pushed her over the edge. Before you go up there, lemme go talk to her. I'll see what's going on. I just kinda wanted you here because I have no one else to turn to. Can you watch the kids?"

"Yeah," Jack nodded.

Sawyer went up the stairs and went into the bedroom. When he got there Kate was sitting up on the bed with the bottle of vicodin. She was looking at it, but there weren't any pills in her hand. Sawyer ran toward her and grabbed the bottle from her.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Kate, what the fuck is going on?"

"I was just looking," she stated.

"Oh, I get it," he nodded. "You've been just looking at the pills for however long. You just have a half empty bottle because you've been flushing them?"

"Sawyer," she shook her head. "I thought you said you weren't mad...but you are aren't you."

"You're damn right I'm mad," he scoffed. "Kate, I don't know what's been making you do this lately. I thought that you were happy with me and our family. But if you're not, I won't let you hurt yourself anymore. I love you way too much."

"No you don't," she frowned.

"You really believe that?" he asked. "If I didn't love you Kate, I would have been gone a long ass time ago. I would have taken the kids as far away from you as possible. But I can't do that Kate. I'm too selfish. I want to be with you too much to just walk away. But only if you stop this."

"Sawyer," she whispered. "Will you stay with me?"

"I'm here now ain't I?" he asked softly.

"I need something to drink," she replied, sitting up. "My head hurts."

"Well it's no wonder," he sighed. "You're drunk. Kate, Jack's here. You wanna see him? I can have him bring you a drink of water."

"Why did you call him?" she asked. "I don't want him. I don't love him. I love you."

"Kate, I called him because I'm worried about you," he said softly. "I don't know what to do Kate. Look at you. You've been drunk for 3 weeks straight. I just-I need help. I can't do this alone. Kate you know I love you…I just can't be with you if you're going to do this."

"I'm done with it," she answered. "I'm not gonna do it anymore. Don't leave me."

"Kate," he whispered. "I'm gonna send Jack up here so you can talk to him. Unless you wanna tell me why you're on pain killers."

"Because I need them," she replied. "They make me feel better."

"Kate," he whispered and shook his head. "What else makes you feel better?"

"Nothing," she answered with a frown. "It's the only thing that helps."

"Well then you better get over that real quick Kate," he replied. "Look, if it were just me, I wouldn't give a shit. I would help you through it and I wouldn't care if you got drunk, but the kids…Georgia and Aaron miss their momma. They need their momma…more than you need your drugs."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"I don't know why I had Jack come over," he sighed. "I just didn't know what else to do."

"I'll come downstairs," she sniffled.

"Come here," he whispered. He helped her stand and lead her into the bathroom. She looked at him slightly confused. He sat her down on the toilet and ran a washcloth under the water. He dabbed her face with the washcloth and then kissed her cheek. She followed him down the stairs and sat down between him and Jack. Jack was sitting on the couch, watching the kids play.

"You ok Kate?" Jack asked.

"No," she shook her head. "But I will be."

"How long Kate?" Jack questioned.

"2 weeks with the pills," she whispered. "About a month and a half with the alcohol."

"Well that's good though," he said reassuringly. "Your body really hasn't had the chance to become totally addicted. It shouldn't be too horrible for the withdrawal symptoms. You're definitely not physically dependent on the pills."

"It just makes me feel good," she said softly. "I dunno why I'm doing it Jack, I feel like my life is falling apart, but it's not. I have two great kids, and a good husband. I don't know…I just feel better when I drink. But I'm done. I'm gonna stop."

"I thought you wanted another baby Kate," Jack replied.

"Not you too," she scoffed.

"If it's gonna snap you out of it," he started. "Yeah. Me too. You want another baby, so you're gonna sober up."

"I already said that I was done, don't you trust me?" she asked.

"I lived with a drunk for my entire life," he began. "It's hard to trust a drunk Kate. Even if they promise they're going to stop. We won't know till we actually see the change happen Kate."

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

That night Kate and Sawyer were laying in bed together. She was sleeping soundly. He knew in the morning she was going to have the worst headache of her life, but he was hoping that it wouldn't drive her back to drink. Kate woke up around 4:00 in the morning. She snuck down the steps and found Jack sitting at their kitchen table.

"Hello," he smirked.

"Jack what are you doing here?" she scoffed. "You're here spying on me?"

"Seems to me Kate, that you kinda need a spy," he answered. "What were you doing Kate? Sneaking down for a drink, while Sawyer is upstairs sleeping?"

"Why are you defending him?" she asked. "I thought you hated him. I thought you wished I chose you."

"Believe me," he nodded. "I do. I miss you. I wish that you would leave Sawyer and come be with me, but the truth is, is that he loves you…he's being way more loyal than I could be. If you had gotten drunk while you were in the middle of taking care of our kids…I would have been pissed. I wouldn't have given you a second chance."

"Are you sure?" she whispered.

"I want to say that I would…but I would have taken me a while to forgive you. Sawyer didn't even hesitate," he answered. "I can't take you away from a love like that. And what about your kids?"

"Jack," she shook her head. "I wish I could tell you that I want you and I want to be with you, but I need Sawyer. I need him so badly."

"Well," he nodded. "He needs you too. But he needs you well and not drunk. Go back upstairs."

"Thank you Jack," she whispered.

**A/N: OK...so there's probably gonna be two or three more chapters. I hope you all liked this one. Pleaase please review. **


	45. Chapter 45

Kate went back upstairs, from talking to Jack. She got into bed next to Sawyer, and he rolled toward her. He leaned toward her lips and kissed her softly.

"Good, you taste like morning breath," he mumbled.

"You thought I was going to drink?" she asked.

"Well weren't you?" he questioned back.

"Yeah," she whispered, with her voice shaking slightly. "Sawyer I'm sorry. I've been horrible to you. You've done nothing but love me and take care of me."

"It's alright," he said softly. "I just want my Freckles back."

"That sounded good," she sniffled.

"What?" he asked.

"You called me Freckles," she said. She leaned against his chest and he wrapped his arms around her tighter.

**2 Weeks Later**

Whenever Sawyer left the house he would call Margo or Jack to come over. Kate would get annoyed because she thought that he wasn't trusting her enough, but he continued to call them.

One day Sawyer came home and Kate wasn't downstairs. Usually she would stay downstairs with Jack or Margo, so she could take care of the kids, and prove that she wasn't drinking. When Sawyer came into the house Aaron ran toward him. Sawyer picked him up and looked at him.

"How are you?" Sawyer asked.

"Fine," Aaron answered.

"Where's mommy?" he asked softly.

"Upstairs."

Sawyer sighed softly and put Aaron down. Margo was sitting on the couch, and sleeping at that.

"Margo!" Sawyer exclaimed. She opened her eyes and mumbled softly. "What's going on Margo? You're sleeping on the job?"

"Oh," she sighed. "I just closed my eyes for a couple seconds."

He shook his head and went up the stairs quickly. He could hear that Kate was in the bedroom. He walked into the bedroom calmly and she was sitting on the edge of the bed. He went over to her and knelt in front of her.

"Hey," he said softly.

"I'm not drunk," she stated. "I know what you're thinking. I heard you running up the stairs. I'm not drunk."

"Fine," he nodded. "Kate, I wasn't-I wasn't going to accuse you, but can you really blame me if I did."

"Yes!" she exclaimed. "I said I was done, and you don't believe me."

"Sorry," he shrugged. "You grew up with a drunk step father. Jack grew up with a drunk father. I didn't, but I know what it means to have-Kate, I'm scared. I know I'm supposed to be strong for us and for the kids, but I'm terrified."

"Of what?" she whispered.

"That I'm gonna come home and you're going to be dead," he replied. "You're going to be so drunk that you're gonna fall down the stairs, or fall asleep and never wake up."

"I didn't know," she shook her head.

He leaned toward her and kissed her lips. She kissed him back and then she leaned back on the bed. He leaned over her and they continued to kiss.

"I want to have sex with you," she moaned. "It's been so long."

"I have to go back downstairs," he whispered. "Margo is still here. And the kids-"

"I don't care," she answered, flipping over on top of him and kissing him deeper. "I'm so wet right now."

"And drunk," he said coldly and pushed her off of him and stood up.

"What?" she asked.

"I can taste it on your breath," he told her. "You're drunk. Where did you get it? I thought I got rid of it all."

"Not all of it," she sniffled. "And I'm not telling you where it is because it's been two weeks and this is the first time that you've noticed anything."

"Dammit!" he exclaimed. He left the room and slammed the door behind him. He went downstairs and looked at Margo.

"Do you and Jack keep an eye on Kate the entire time you're here?" he asked.

"Well pretty much," Margo nodded. "But when she goes to the bathroom we don't follow her or anything."

"Well she's been drinking the entire 2 weeks that we've thought that she was sober," Sawyer scoffed. "Can you do me a favor and take the kids?"

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I want you to take the kids to your house tonight," he answered. "I don't want them here right now. I'm gonna-I don't know what I'm going to do, but I feel like there might be some yelling and I don't want to scare them."

"Ok," she nodded. "I'm sorry Sawyer. I should have-"

"Well I could blame you, but I think it would be easier to just blame Kate," he answered. "I just need to get my wife back."

"I'm gonna tell Jack to come over when he gets home," she replied.

"No," Sawyer shook his head. "You can tell him whatever you want, you can tell him the truth if you want, but I don't want him here. I need to take care of it myself."

"Ok," she whispered. "But I do think that he should come over at some point. He loves her. He wants to take care of her."

"I want what's best for Kate," he answered. "If she wants him to be here, then I'll call you, but somehow I think it's worse when he's here."

Sawyer went back upstairs and into the bedroom. Kate wasn't there so he went to the bathroom. She was sitting on the floor of the bathroom, she had a bottle of aspirin in her hand. She had a handful of the pills in her hand and quickly put them in her mouth when she saw Sawyer.

"What are you doing?!" he exclaimed. He grabbed her by the wrists and pulled her up.

He immediately took her to the hospital, and was waiting in the waiting room. Sawyer was tapping his foot rapidly and he looked up when he felt someone standing in front of him.

"She's alright," Jack sighed. "I'm going to get her into the best rehab there is."

"I don't want her away from me," Sawyer shook his head. "I need to keep an eye on her."

"Well obviously you haven't been doing a good enough job of that Sawyer," Jack argued.

"Fuck you!" Sawyer exclaimed standing up and stepping toward him quickly. "She's been drinking this whole week…while you were trying to look after her too! It's not my fault!"

"Maybe not," he shook his head. "But she needs to be somewhere where she can get the help and attention she needs."

"She won't agree to it," Sawyer answered. "Doesn't she need to consent to it? Because she won't ever give her consent."

"Well then you have to," Jack responded.

"What do you mean?" he asked. "She's an adult. I can't-"

"You can if we diagnose her incapable of making the decision herself," Jack whispered. "Look…I know you love her. Believe me…I know that you love her more than anything, so love her enough to get her the help."

"I do love her," he nodded. "But I just don't know-it's only been 2 months Jack. Let me go talk to her. Can I go in and see her?"

"Yeah," Jack answered.

He went into the room and sat down next to her.

"Sawyer," she sniffled. "Sawyer don't send me away."

"Freckles," he said running his hand over her forehead.

"Don't send me away," she repeated. "Please. I'm so sorry. I won't-I want you to take care of me. I don't want to leave. Please. I don't want to be away from my kids."

"Sweetheart," he whispered and got into the bed next to her. They both were sitting. Kate put her head against his shoulder.. "Jack thinks that you should-"

"Jack's not my husband," she interrupted. "Please. Just be my husband and love me, and take care of me."

"Well, as I was saying, Jack thinks you should go to rehab," he replied. "I think that I can take care of you just fine. I'm going to take care of you, baby. I can't live without you, even for a few weeks."

She wrapped her arms around him and put her head against his chest. He put his arm around her too.

"Tell me something," she whispered. She didn't look at him, but instead kept her face against his chest.

"What do you want me to tell you?" he asked.

"Anything," she sighed. "Tell me that everything's going to be alright."

"Everything is gonna be alright Freckles," he whispered. He looked down at her and hesitated slightly before leaning down to kiss her. She kissed him back and he rolled over on top of her. She quickly tore his shirt off. He was happy to find that she was completely naked underneath her hospital gown. He lifted the hospital gown over her hips and unzipped his pants. She moaned softly and he pushed into her. She wrapped her legs around him and moaned sharply.

"What if someone comes in?" she whispered, but didn't push him away.

"Let em," he answered pushing into her harder. She let out another sharp but soft scream. "They'll get quite a show I guess."

She let out a final deep, low, and long moan and they both came. He rolled off of her, and covered them both with the blanket. He pulled his pants back up, but stayed holding her.

"You're not going away Freckles," he whispered, and continued to stroke her forehead and ran his hand down her back.

Sawyer took Kate home that night. They were sitting on the couch. Kate was in her pajamas and they were watching a movie. Kate had her head resting on his shoulder. There was a knock on the door and Kate got up to answer it. She opened the door and Jack was standing in front of her.

"Jack," she sighed softly. "Hi."

"Can I come in?" Jack asked. "I really need to talk to both of you."

Kate stepped aside and let Jack in the house. She walked back over to the couch and took her spot back. Jack walked over to the couch and sat down on the coffee table across from Sawyer and Kate.

"No," Sawyer said.

"No what?" he asked. "I didn't say a word."

"I know what you're going to say," Sawyer stated. "I know that you want me to consider taking Kate to rehab, but it's not going to happen. No."

"Sawyer, you can't do this on your own. Without treatment, Kate's chance of relapse-"

"I don't care!" he exclaimed. "I need her, and she needs me. We can't-I can't be without her."

"You're being really selfish," Jack scoffed.

"No he's not," Kate shook his head. "I'm gonna say something now alright…I promise. I promise that if I end up relapsing…I'll go. I'll go to rehab without a fight, if I relapse. But I'm not going to. I already regret everything I want to see my kids, but Sawyer won't let me."

"What do you mean?" Jack asked.

"The kids are at your house," Sawyer answered. "And they're going to stay there, till I can get her through the worst of this. I think you should leave. You're not making anything better."

"Fine," Jack sighed. He got up and left the house. Kate quickly got up and followed him, without Sawyer stopping her. She left the house and caught Jack by the arm before he could get any farther.

"Jack," she whispered. "Jack I know you want to help. But Sawyer's right. I need to be with him. He's the one who's-he can help me through this. I know that he can."

"I just wish that you would consider-" Jack started.

"No," she interrupted. "That's the last resort. I can't imagine being away from Sawyer and my kids for that long. It's gonna be bad enough not seeing Georgia and Aaron for a week and a half."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Sawyer won't let me see them till he's sure that I won't drink. He said that it was going to be at least a week and a half. They're staying at your house for a week and a half."

"So Sawyer isn't gonna see them either?" Jack asked. "That's-"

"Sawyer said that he would come over at night to say goodnight…he was gonna have Lori Anderson, who lives on the other side of us, watch after me."

"Does that piss you off?" Jack questioned.

"Somewhat," she nodded. "But I understand why. I know why. I'm just scared…and Sawyer-he's scared too, so we can be scared together."

He stepped toward her and kissed her lips softly. She closed her eyes and sighed softly. She backed away from him and looked at him slightly painfully. He wrapped his arms back around her and kissed her again. This time she backed away and went back into the house and slammed the door. She let out a deep breath and walked toward Sawyer.

"What happened?" Sawyer asked.

"He kissed me," she sighed. Sawyer started getting up, but Kate grabbed on to his hand and shook her head.

"Please," she whispered. "Just stay. You can yell at him later. Please, just stay for now."

"Ok," he sighed. "Fine."

He wrapped his arm back around Kate and she put her head on his shoulder again. They started watching the movie again. In the middle of the movie there was a sex scene. Sawyer started running his hand gently up and down her body. He put his hand into her pajama pants and started massaging her leg softly. She let out a breath and leaned up to kiss him. He kissed her back and laid her down on the couch. She moaned softly as he moved over her. He wasn't even touching her, but the anticipation, was making her breathe heavier. He pulled her pants down, but left her underwear on.

"I'm sorry," she shook her head.

"Shh," he whispered. "Shh."

He leaned back down and kissed her softly. He moved to her neck and then put his hands up her shirt. She moaned again, and put her hands on his back. She started unbuttoning his shirt. She pushed it off his shoulders and he pulled her underwear off. She still had her shirt on. She started unbuckling his belt and ran her hands down his chest.

"I love you," he said softly. "I won't give up on you or us."

"Good," she said, with tears coming into her eyes. He kissed her again and they both pulled his pants down. He was hovering over her and the phone rang. Sawyer let out a soft breath and reached over to the phone without getting off of Kate.

"Hello?" he asked.

"Sawyer?" Margo asked. "Aaron just had a bad dream. He won't go back to bed unless you come over here."

"Ok," he sighed. "Is Jack still home?"

"Yeah," she answered.

"Good. Can you come over and sit with Kate."

"Sure," she replied.

Sawyer went over to the Shephard's and Margo came to the house. Sawyer went into the house and walked up the stairs. Jack was trying to get Aaron to settle down. Sawyer went into the room, and Aaron quickly got up and ran toward Sawyer.

"Daddy!" he exclaimed. Sawyer picked him up and carried him back to the bed where Jack was sitting.

"I can take it from here," Sawyer said softly. Jack silently got up and left the room. It took Sawyer almost 10 minutes to get Aaron to go back to bed. When he left the room, he left the door opened just a crack to let the light in from the hall.

Jack was sitting on the couch when Sawyer went downstairs. He sighed deeply and walked toward him.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Sawyer asked.

"What do you mean?" Jack whispered. "I was trying to put your kid back to bed. This is ridiculous. You're putting the kids through not staying at their own house-"

"I'm not talking about Aaron," Sawyer answered. "I'm talking about you kissing Kate. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't," he shrugged. "I just-I wanted to kiss her so I did."

"Look, I know you think that I'm stupid for trying to get Kate sober without taking her to rehab, but I promised her that I would be there for her. I am her husband, and if I can get her better without rehab…that's what I'm gonna do. Besides I threatened to take the kids, and she promised-"

"Didn't you threaten that before?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, but she didn't believe me," he answered. "Now she does...she's gonna get better all on her own."

"Hope so," Jack mumbled.

Sawyer left the house and went back to his own house. When he got into the house Kate was sitting on the couch with Margo. Margo got up and left when she saw Sawyer. Sawyer sat down next to Kate and put his arm around her.

"You didn't just beat the shit out of Jack did you?" she asked.

"I wanted to," he answered. "But no."

She leaned toward him and straddled his legs. She kissed him and then let out a soft chuckle.

"So where were we?" she asked.

"You're still in the mood?" he whispered. "Even after all that-"

"Yeah," she nodded. "But, let's go upstairs."

"Alright," he answered softly. He took her by the hands and they went up the stairs.

**2 Weeks Later**

Sawyer and Kate stayed in the house all the time. They went swimming every day. Kate had stayed sober, so Sawyer thought that the kids could come see her. They were both excited to see Kate again. She was playing with them on the floor, and Sawyer watched. Georgia wanted to stay on her lap the entire time, which started to make Aaron somewhat jealous, so Sawyer got onto the floor and held him on his lap.

"Daddy can we stay now?" Aaron asked.

"Well…" Sawyer started.

"Please?!" Aaron exclaimed.

"Peas!" Georgia said loudly. Kate smiled and looked at Sawyer.

"Yeah, peas?" she asked, imitating Georgia.

"Alright," he sighed.

That night Kate and Sawyer put the kids to bed together which hadn't happened in a long time, since Kate had previously been completely incapable of putting the kids to bed. They went back to their own bedroom and Kate laid down, and Sawyer put his arms around her.

"Thank you for today," she whispered. "It was good to see them again. And now I'm ready. I'm ready for another baby."

"Freckles," he said, putting his hand against her face. "Freckles, I don't think-I know that you want to get our family back and I know eventually you want another baby, but for now I think we should just concentrate on getting you better. Having another baby right now? I think we need to get you back first."

"Yeah," she nodded. "But I just need you to be with me tonight. Please? Make love to me James. Kiss me and love me. No fucking, just love. I know that you love me, and I know that I love you, but when was the last time we actually loved each other?"

"It's been a while I guess," he smiled.

She leaned toward him and kissed him. He cupped her face in his hands. He kissed her softly and gently. She put her hand on his neck and pulled him closer. She tangled their legs together. He untangled their legs and pulled her pants down. She gasped slightly and looked up at him.

"Your hands are cold," she whispered.

"Sorry," he said. He rubbed his hands together and blew on them to warm them up. He put his hands back down between them, and she shivered below him, but this time it wasn't because she was cold. She moaned softly and he pushed his hand into her underwear. She wrapped one arm around him and pulled her underwear down with the other hand.

"I'm ready for you," she moaned and put her head back. He kissed her softly and was about to start touching her when he heard Georgia crying. He put his head down in the pillow, directly next to Kate's head. He groaned loudly and then got up.

"I'll be right back," he whispered.

"Let me go," she answered. "I miss taking care of my baby."

Sawyer handed Kate her underwear and she got redressed and left the room. She walked into Georgia's room, and picked her up out of the crib. She clung on to Kate's shirt.

"Hi baby," Kate whispered. "What's the matter huh?"

Georgia stopped crying when she heard Kate's voice. Kate felt someone standing in the door. She turned around and saw Sawyer. He smiled at her and walked toward her.

"Don't you trust me?" she asked.

"Yeah," he answered. "I just want to watch you taking care of our daughter. I've always loved watching you take care of our kids. So now…it's even better."

"Dada!" Georgia exclaimed and reached for Sawyer. Sawyer took her from Kate and then put her back into the crib.

"Goodnight Georgie," he said. She frowned, but she laid down. Kate bent over the crib and kissed Georgia on the forehead. She held her hand for a minute and then left the room with Sawyer. Both of them thought that maybe she would start crying when they left but she didn't.

Kate took Sawyer by the hand and lead him back to the bedroom. She kissed his lips on the way to the bedroom. When they went into bedroom Kate kicked the door shut and locked it because Aaron could get out of bed and walk in on them. She stopped kissing Sawyer and quickly jumped into the bed and started stripping again.

"I'm so wet," she whispered.

"I love how you can stay aroused and wet even after we're interrupted," he said softly coming toward her.

"Will you touch me?" she asked. "I have a place where you can warm your hand up."

She ran her hand between her legs, still keeping her pants on. He let out a low growl and crawled into the bed next to her. He kissed her mouth hard, yet gently at the same time.

"Hmm," she moaned. "What do you love the most about me Sawyer?"

"I love what a sweetheart you are," he said softly, kissing her cheek and moving back to her mouth. "I love that you're getting sober all on your own without rehab."

"No," she shook her head and breathed in deeply. "I mean what do you love the most about my body?"

"Every inch," he whispered. He took her hand in his and kissed her palm and her wrist, down her arm. Then he kissed her down her body and pulled her pants off again. "There isn't a place on you I don't like Freckles."

"But you have to have a favorite," she smirked. He went back up her and slid one finger into her. She let out a soft moan, muffled by Sawyer's mouth covering hers.

"Here," he whispered. He kissed her again. "And your mouth. And your breasts."

He continued to kiss her and he slid another finger into her. He started running his other hand over her breasts, which were still covered by her shirt.

"And I love the look on your face when you come," he said moving his fingers faster and making her come. She moaned loudly, and then bit down on his shoulder to muffle the sound. He backed away and looked at her.

"Satisfied?" he asked. She chuckled and shook her head no. "What do you mean, no? You did-"

"Yes Sawyer," she whispered. "I came…but I'm not satisfied. I want more. Don't you? Make love to me Sawyer. Make love to me and kiss me."

He kissed her lips and then moved to her neck and down her chest. He pulled his pants off and threw them on the floor. Kate pulled his boxers down and grabbed him a little too roughly. He growled and hovered over her.

"Hey," he whispered. "You said you wanted me to love you, be easy."

"Sorry," she said softly. "I'm just too excited. Can you feel?"

"Yeah," he moaned. "You're wet, and you need me, just as badly as I need you…but we're gonna wait a minute so we can enjoy every second of this."

He leaned back down and kissed her gently and then continued to hover over her he started slowly lowering down, but then coming back up. Each time he'd come down and tease her, she would moan in anticipation, but each time, she was denied the full pleasure. He enjoyed enticing her and teasing her because he knew that it was only making her want him more.

"Are you ready?" he whispered.

"Y-yes," she panted. He teased her once more before pushing into her. He didn't thrust, but instead was entirely too gentle. Kate kept urging him to thrust harder, but he still refused. She moaned loudly and continued to moan into his ear, hoping that it would get him to go harder.

"Harder, James," she finally moaned.

"No," he said, and he stopped moving completely.

She rolled them over and started moving quicker, and then he took control back, and flipped them over again. He held her gently by the hands and started moving slowly. He pulled out of her and didn't push back into her.

"What are you doing?" she whispered.

"I'm gonna come," he answered. He quickly rolled over and came without being inside of her. She sighed softly, but wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She kissed the back of his neck and then down his spine.

"I love you," she said. "But Sawyer…hate to break this to you, but you came in me last night, and the night before and the night before. I don't think tonight would have really made a difference."

He rolled back toward her and kissed her gently.

"I know," he sighed. "I just wanted to get my point across. I just don't think that we're ready for another baby right now."

"Well what if it's too late?" she asked.

"Are you pregnant Kate?"

"I actually don't know," she whispered. "I'm supposed to have my period sometime this week. I don't know if I'm pregnant. But I might be. We've been having sex every day for 2 weeks. And I know you've been using a condom, but I know at least once or twice that it's broken."

"I want a baby Kate, but I want it to be planned," he sighed. "I mean if you're pregnant, I'm not gonna be mad…of course I won't be, but I just want to be able to plan a pregnancy, instead of having a surprise pregnancy."

"Well Sawyer," she started. "I hate to break it to you, but when you're sexually active, especially as much as we are…pregnancy is always a possibility, no matter how much protection you use."

**3 Weeks Later**

Kate was still sober. Sawyer felt comfortable enough to leave her alone for short amounts of time with the kids, but he always kissed her as soon as he walked through the door so he could taste if there was alcohol on her breath.

He had gone to the store for her to buy a pregnancy test. He was slightly disappointed if she was pregnant because he thought that it could hinder her recovery. Even if she was pregnant, he knew that she wouldn't drink because it would affect the baby, and he was sure that Kate wouldn't purposely hurt herself or the baby, but he was afraid of what might happen once the baby was born.

He handed Kate the pregnancy test and went upstairs with her. The kids were both napping. Kate and Sawyer sat in the bathroom together with the pregnancy test and an egg timer. Sawyer was sitting on the side of the bathtub. Kate stood up from her spot on the toilet and walked over to him. She sat down next to him and kissed his cheek.

"Sawyer," she whispered. "I promise you that everything is going to be ok. I know you think that this is going to ruin my recovery, and you think it's going to make me relapse, but Sawyer, this baby is going to be the best thing that ever happened to me. Because of this baby, I'm going to try so much harder to be sober and healthy."

"Hope so," he mumbled.

"Why don't you believe me?" she asked.

"I do," he sighed. "But I'm allowed to be scared. I'm allowed to think that something bad will happen. This family has gone through hell and back. I just feel like it's not over yet."

The egg timer beeped before Kate could get another word in edgewise. She sighed and stood up. She picked up the pregnancy test and then looked at it. She looked back at Sawyer and handed it to him. There was a small plus sign staring back at Sawyer. She sat down on his lap and kissed him.

"This is going to be so good Sawyer," she whispered. "I promise."

**A/N: Please please review!!! BTW Lizi, thanks so much for reviewing every single time even though you're a Jater. I've been trying to add some Jate for you because you're awesome for reviewing each time. I think that it's going to end sort of soon. One or Two more chaps.**


	46. Chapter 46

Sawyer and Kate were laying in bed together. He was still scared that something was going to happen to Kate and the baby. He was even more afraid that once the baby was born, Kate would just fall completely apart. He knew that having a new baby in the house was going to stress Kate out.

She was laying on his chest and they were thinking of baby names.

"We have to name him James if he's a boy," she said softly.

"Well fine, then I get to name her if it's a girl," he answered.

"What do you want to name her?" she chuckled.

"Elvira," he smirked.

"Hell no," she said.

"We can call her Vira," he answered.

"We're not naming our baby Elvira," she argued.

"Why are you so hell bent on naming him James, if it's a boy?" he asked.

"Because," she whispered. "James is an adorable name. I love you so much. I want our baby to be a part of you."

"Well, in case you were doing something that you weren't supposed to, I think the baby is already part of me," he answered with his eyebrows raised.

"No," she shook her head. "Well fine, do you have any other ideas?"

"Nope. No ideas."

"Trey," she whispered. "Trey Ford."

"Girl or boy?" he asked.

"Boy," she scoffed. "Duh."

"Well I thought you wanted to use Mary if it was a girl," he replied.

"If you want to then totally," she whispered. "I just didn't think that you really wanted to name our baby after you mom. I thought-"

"It hurts," he mumbled. "But maybe if we name the baby Mary, I can finally have something good connected to that name."

"James," she said softly. She put her hand against his cheek and leaned toward him. She kissed him softly and slowly. She wrapped her arms tightly around his neck and pulled him closer. He put his hand on her hip, and ran his hands down her body and into her pants. She moaned softly and let out a sharp breath.

"I'm so happy I'm pregnant," she said rolling over on top of him. "I want you so badly right now. I've been holding back, but I can't anymore."

She bent down and started kissing him roughly and he kissed her back. Their mouths and tongues tangled. Sawyer bit at her lip and she chuckled and pulled at his boxers, but didn't take them off. He tore her shirt off and left a scratch on her shoulder.

"Sorry," he whispered. He leaned up and kissed her shoulder softly. Scratched her nails down his chest, and he flipped them over.

"Nope," she shook her head, and flipped them back over, taking back control. "I'm on top. Don't you like to watch me over you. And when I come I fall on top of you."

"Fuck," he whispered. "I'm gonna fuck you so hard."

"Wrong again," she said, lowering her face next to his ear. "It's gonna be-"

"Shh-" he interrupted.

"What-" she began.

"Shh," he said again. They both heard soft crying, and then footsteps down the hall. They knew it was Aaron because Georgia couldn't get out of her crib. Aaron knocked on the door. They both sighed deeply. Sawyer put his pants on and handed Kate her shirt.

"Mommy! Daddy!" he exclaimed. Sawyer opened the door and picked him up.

"What's wrong buddy?" Sawyer asked softly.

"I wet the bed," he sobbed. Sawyer put him back down and sighed softly.

"Ok," Sawyer whispered. "Come on."

Sawyer lead Aaron by the hand back out of the room. Kate bent her head back and sighed deeply. She put her hands against her stomach. She waited about 5 minutes and then Aaron ran into the room and climbed up on the bed.

"Mommy I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too baby," she said softly. "Where's daddy?"

"He told me to wait with you," he answered. "He's in my room."

"Changing the sheets?" she asked.

"Yes," he nodded. "Mommy, is daddy mad?"

"No," she answered, shaking her head.

"But he acted mad, and he was frowning."

"I know," she sighed. "He was just sleeping is all. You know how you get really nice and cozy under the covers and you don't want to get up?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Well daddy was just very comfy in bed, and he didn't want to get up," Kate replied. "But I promise that he's not mad at you."

Aaron got out of the bed and ran back to his own room. Shortly later Sawyer came back and knelt next to the bed next to Kate. Kate sat up and Sawyer put his head down on her lap, and then moved to kiss her stomach and then her lips.

"Are you still wet?" he whispered.

"No," she answered with a chuckle. "I'm actually not at all."

"Do you want me to change that?" he asked, moving over her and kissing her lips.

"No," she shook her head. "Actually. I'm kinda tired. I know that I acted-I was being really aggressive a minute ago-"

"Yeah, you were," he whispered. "And I know I'm not hard anymore, but I can get hard in a second if you give me the chance."

"Sawyer," she moaned, and shook her head.

"Don't worry darlin," he said. "I'll be gentle, and you don't have to be aggressive at all, or I guess we can sleep if that's what you really want."

"Hmm," she smiled. She rolled over on top of him and grinded against him. "I'm wide awake now, and I'm already wet again."

"Good," he whispered and kissed her neck and let her have control. She kissed his lower lip and he didn't kiss back but instead just let her do everything. After he let her have her way, he took back control and they made love again.

**2 Months Later**

Kate hadn't spent a ton of time with Jack since Sawyer refused to take her to rehab. She knew that Jack disapproved of her staying with Sawyer instead of going to rehab, but she wanted to talk to him. She wanted to show him that she was doing fine without rehab. Margo had started coming over less too because Sawyer and Kate were spending time with the kids. She picked up the phone and dialed the Shephard's.

"Hello?" Margo asked.

"Hey Margo," Kate replied.

"Hi honey," she said.

"I kinda feel like I'm back in high school or something," Kate chuckled. "Is Jack home?"

"Oh, no Kate," she answered. "He's at the hospital."

"Oh, right," she whispered. "Um, could you just tell him I called. I really need to talk to him."

"Are you alright?" Margo asked.

"Yeah," she replied. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm actually more than fine. That's what I wanted to tell Jack. I wanted to let him know that even without rehab, I'm doing just fine."

"Don't rock the boat Kate," Margo whispered. "He's happy. He found someone. Don't push it in his face that you're happier than him."

"What?" Kate scoffed. "What do you mean?"

"Don't call him and tell him how amazing your life is because he's finally gotten over you," Margo answered. "He has a new girlfriend, and a new job. Don't fuck with it."

"Margo, I don't know what you're talking about," Kate answered. "Look. Jack is my friend ok? I just want to let him know that I'm doing fine without rehab. But I do miss our friendship."

"Don't," Margo stated. "Just don't."

"So now I can't even talk to him, or be friends with him?" she asked.

"No," she answered. "Because friendship won't be enough for him. I know my son Kate. He loves you too damn much to watch you love someone else. And you're pregnant right? Don't tell him."

"First of all, how the hell do you know?" Kate questioned. "How did you know I'm pregnant?"

"I ran into Sawyer at the drug store," she said. "And-"

"Ok, well secondly, you don't want me to tell Jack?" Kate scoffed. "That's bullshit. Jack is going to find out sooner or later. I mean I'm not gonna stay in my house day in and day out just because I'm trying to protect Jack. Besides that don't you want to be in Aaron's life anymore."

"You don't need me," Margo answered. "He doesn't need a grandma."

"Yes he does!" Kate exclaimed. "I'm sorry that we haven't called you lately, but if you haven't already noticed it's been a little crazy here. I'm finally doing good though. I can have you come over and be with the kids if you want to. I'm not going to force you but don't you dare blame it on me!"

"I'll tell Jack that you called," Margo replied. "But just please…don't hurt him."

"I'm not going to," Kate whispered. She hung up the phone and then went upstairs to where Sawyer was putting Aaron to bed. She practically ran into Aaron's room and wrapped her arms around Sawyer from behind.

"What do you say, I go get naked, and then you come ravish me?" she whispered softly into his ear.

"I say," he started. "Goodnight Aaron, see you in the morning."

"No daddy, finish the story," Aaron whined.

"Finish the story daddy," Kate said standing up. "I'm gonna be waiting for you. Goodnight Aaron."

"Goodnight mommy," he replied. Kate bent down and kissed Aaron on the cheek, then disappeared down the hall. Sawyer sighed deeply and finished reading the story. Kate went into Georgia's room and watched her sleep, then made good on her promise and went back to their bedroom to get naked. She got completely naked aside from a white t-shirt, which was see through anyway. She covered herself with the blankets.

Sawyer walked into the room and smiled at her. He walked toward the bed and knelt over her. She stopped him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"I want to tell you a secret," she whispered. "Come here."

He leaned toward her and she kissed his lips hard and fast. He kissed her back and wrapped his arms around her. She kissed him vigorously and wrapped her legs around him. Her shirt was clinging to her body, but he pulled it over her head.

"Will you make love to me with your mouth?" she asked. She put her hand into his boxers and he let out a soft moan.

"Wait," he whispered. "Didn't you just get off the phone with Jack? Did he say something to upset you?"

"No," she shook her head.

"What is all this about-"

"I just want to have sex with my husband," she answered.

"No," he shook his head. "This has something to do with Jack. What the hell happened on the phone? Tell me Kate."

"We had the best phone sex of my entire life," she interrupted thrusting her hips against him. "He made me come, by just speaking to me. But I want you to make me come with your mouth."

"Kate, what the fuck-" he started.

"Fuck me with your tongue," she whispered. "Please, fuck me with your tongue."

"Freckles," he said softly.

"I didn't even talk to Jack," she answered. "He wasn't there. I'm just really fucking wet right now."

"What did he say?" he asked.

"What did who say?" she questioned.

"What the fuck did Jack say to you to make you like this?" he asked.

"Sawyer I just said," she whispered. "I didn't talk to him. I called him and Margo answered the phone. Jack is at the hospital tonight."

"Then what changed?"

"Sawyer, I'm always horny. I'm always like this," she replied.

"I know, but this time, it's just different," he whispered. "Do you want him?"

"No," she scoffed. "Look, Margo told me he was at the hospital. She told me that he was happy, and she told me to leave him alone."

"So that's why you're freaking out?" he asked. "Jack's happy…are you jealous."

"God," she sighed. "I knew you were gonna act like this…I just knew it. No. I'm not jealous. I have barely seen Jack at all since-it's been almost 3 months since I've seen him. I just miss-I want to see him. I want to tell him about being pregnant."

"Do you really think that he's gonna be ok with that?" Sawyer asked. "I mean I'm barely-I'm happy you're pregnant Kate, but even I think it may be too soon. I think Jack is gonna freak out if he finds out we're having another baby now."

"I'm so completely sick of all this," she shook her head. "You think that I can't do it, but I can. You think something bad is going to happen. Just because we've had bad crap happen to us before, it doesn't mean that bad stuff is going to continue to happen."

"Yeah," he whispered, pulling her toward him. "I know. It's just-if I prepare myself now, then-"

"Then it means you don't trust me," she mumbled.

"Yes I do," he sighed. "Kate, I do trust you, I just don't know what to do anymore ok. If you want to be pissed off at me for worrying then that's fine, but I worry because I care about you, and I care about our kids. Come here."

She frowned but leaned toward him. He kissed her softly and pulled her even closer. They started kissing harder. Kate rolled over on top of him and stopped kissing him, but just her head against his chest. He rubbed her back gently. The phone rang and Sawyer sighed softly.

"Let it ring," he whispered. "It's late, who could it be? Come on."

She kissed him and ignored the phone. She stayed on top of him and continued to kiss him. Then the phone started ringing again. This time Kate reached over and picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Kate?" Jack asked.

"Yeah, hey Jack," she replied.

She was still straddling Sawyer's legs. He sighed deeply and got out from underneath her. Kate looked at him. He put his back to her and started reading the book sitting on his bedside table.

"My mom said you called," he said. "Everything ok?"

"Yeah," she answered. "I just wanted to-actually you know what Jack, can I just call you tomorrow?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Yeah," she replied, looking down at Sawyer. "I was spending some time with my husband. Talk to you later."

Kate hung up the phone and looked at Sawyer's back. She was hoping that he would hear her hang the phone up and then turn back toward her, but instead he continued to read.

"Sawyer-" she whispered.

"I'm reading," he mumbled.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. She ran her hands up his back, but he still didn't roll over. "Come on. James."

He still didn't roll over as Kate ran her hands over his back and arms. She grabbed his waist and started tickling him, where she knew that he wouldn't be able to resist, but laugh.

"I'm sorry ok?" she said. "But something tells me that the phone would have just kept ringing anyway. Sawyer, just because I called Jack doesn't mean that I want him."

"I know," he whispered. "I just-I feel like I'm gonna lose you."

The next day Sawyer took the kids to the park. Kate wanted some time by herself, so she stayed behind. The phone rang and it was Jack. She decided to go over to the Shephard's to talk to him.

She was sitting on the Shephard's couch waiting for Jack to come back with something to drink. He set a cup of coffee in front of her and she smiled weakly, and shook her head.

"Jack," she whispered. "I can't-I can't drink coffee."

"Why?" he asked.

"It's kinda why I called yesterday," she continued. "I just miss you. I miss being friends with you. I wish that we could hang out more."

"Well, I'm kinda busy," he answered. "But I'd like that too. Now why is it that you can't drink coffee."

"I'm pregnant," she shrugged.

"How?" he sighed.

"Well," she chuckled. "You went to medical school Jack, but I guess I can explain it to you. One night while I was-"

"Ok," he interrupted. "I meant, how could you be so stupid?"

"What?" she scoffed.

"You're having a baby right now? When you're-you could relapse at any moment, and then your baby-"

"Stop," she said, putting her hands up. "Look. I want to be friends with you, but if you're going to judge me just because I have a drinking problem-I know that I could-but I'm not going to. I wouldn't risk my baby like that. I'm so excited and happy. Can't you be happy for me?"

"I'm getting engaged," he said, obviously changing the subject. "I'm asking her tonight. I think that we really can't be friends Kate. Sorry. I'll see you around though, I'm sure."

Kate sniffled and left the house.

**3 Months Later**

Kate hadn't seen Jack even once in the 3 months. She wasn't sure how the engagement went, and she didn't know even one thing about his life. Margo hadn't been spending much time at their house either. Whenever they needed a babysitter, they tried her, but she always made some excuse, so they found another person to watch the kids.

Kate came home from taking Aaron to the doctor. He was very mad at her because he had to get a shot. She tried to get him to forgive her since it wasn't her fault, but he refused. When they went into the house he ran up the stairs and Kate just sighed deeply and shook her head.

"Sawyer?" he asked.

"Momma!" Georgia exclaimed running toward her.

"Where's daddy?" Kate asked, scooping her up.

"Momma!" she sobbed and pointed to the kitchen. Kate looked into the kitchen and saw Sawyer laying on the floor. She quickly put Georgia down and ran toward him.

"Sawyer?" she asked. "Sawyer, baby, what's wrong? You're not being funny. Open your eyes dammit!"

* * *

She was sitting in the waiting room of the emergency room with Georgia sitting on her lap. The bump that was beginning to grow was in the way, but she still held on to Georgia as tightly as she could. She looked at the clock on the wall. Sawyer had been with the doctors for almost an hour. She sighed deeply and set Georgia down.

"Excuse me!" she exclaimed. "Please-can you tell me what's up with my husband."

"The doctor will be out in just a minute Mrs. Ford."

"Ok," she sighed.

The doctor did come out soon, which surprised Kate. She stood up and looked at the doctor.

"Can you tell me what's going on?"

"We found something," the doctor whispered.

"What does that mean?" she sniffled. "What did you find?"

"There's a dark area in your husband's brain," he answered softly. Kate lowered back down in the chair and put her hand to her mouth.

"Like, you mean, like cancer?" she managed to say.

"We haven't determined exactly what it is Mrs. Ford," he responded. "We're going to keep your husband for a couple days at least, for observation."

"Ok," she breathed. "Can I go see him? Is he awake?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "He's awake, and alert."

"What about my kids?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied.

"But you're only saying that because he might die," she half sobbed.

"No," he shook his head. "I just think it'll do him some good to see his family. All of you. We have already told him about it, so he's a little upset."

"No shit," Kate scoffed. She picked up Georgia and took Aaron by the hand. She went into the hospital room and Sawyer smiled when he saw them. He reached out for Georgia, and Georgia was reaching for him, so she put Georgia down in Sawyer's arms.

"I want to hug daddy too!" Aaron exclaimed. Kate put Aaron up on the bed too and sat down next to him.

"This sucks," she sniffled.

"You're telling me," he chuckled.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Hey," he said softly taking her by the hand. "I'm gonna be alright Freckles. Even if it is-even if-they said that they would operate as soon as possible. I'm gonna make it."

"What if you don't?" she sobbed. "What if-Sawyer I can't do this all by myself. I'm not-I want you to see our baby being born. I want you to be with me and hold my hand when I give birth."

"I will darlin'," he said reaching up and putting his hand on her face. "I'm gonna be ok Freckles. I promise."

**3 Months Later**

Kate ran down the hall as fast as she could being 8 months pregnant. She got to the front desk and the nurse looked at her with a frown.

"No," Kate whispered. "No!"

Kate collapsed to the floor and passed out.

* * *

Sawyer had been in and out of the hospital for the past 3 months. They did everything they could, and he had multiple surgeries, and each time it wasn't successful. The only thing that kept Kate from totally losing it, and from starting to drink again, was Sawyer telling her that everything would be alright. She was so scared, but she knew that she had to stay strong.

She found out that she was having twins. Sawyer was so excited, and even though he was sick, whenever he had the chance, whenever he was out of the hospital he would go buy two of everything.

* * *

When Kate opened her eyes she was laying in a hospital bed. She was attached to a few machines. Kate could hear three heartbeats, and knew that two of them were the babies, and one of them was her own. Her heart started beating more rapidly and the nurse came into the room.

"Mrs. Ford, I need you to calm down ok?" she asked. "Your babies are going to need you to stay strong."

"I'm in labor," she breathed, and a contraction hit. "But it's too early."

"You're only 3 weeks early," the nurse stated. "Which is actually pretty normal for twins."

"I need my husband," she sniffled. "Did someone call him?"

"Kate," she sighed. "Do you remember what happened earlier today?"

"No," she shook her head. "No. No!"

"Shh," she said. "Please, you need to calm down. I'm gonna give you a very mild sedative. It won't hurt the babies."

"My husband isn't dead," Kate breathed. "He promised me. He promised that he would make it."

"The tumor in your husband's brain was very aggressive. We did all we could-"

"I can't do this," she shook her head. "I can't raise 4 kids all by myself. I can't do this. I want to go with him."

"Go with who honey?"

"My husband!" she exclaimed. "I don't want to be here."

"Kate," Jack sighed, appearing in the doorway. "No. Kate, you don't believe that."

"I can't do this without him," she sniffled.

"Yes you can," Jack whispered and sat down next to her. "Just think, in a few hours you'll be looking at your babies. Don't do this now. Your babies need you. And you don't want your babies to be hurt, do you?"

"No," she answered, with tears streaming down her face.

"Ok," he said softly. "It's ok, I'm not going anywhere, I'll be right here with you."

"What about your job?" she asked.

"This is my job Kate," he replied. "Let 'em fire me."

She smiled weakly.

"Where's Sawyer?" she whispered.

"Kate," another doctor walked into the room. "Kate you gotta get ready to start pushing."

"No," she shook her head. "I can't."

"Kate," Jack said. He stood up slightly and put one hand on her forehead and the other taking her by the hand and squeezing tightly. "You can do it."

Kate closed her eyes and let out a soft sob. When she opened them again Sawyer was standing next to her. She gasped and looked at him.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Kate, what are you talking about?" Jack asked.

"Right here darlin'," Sawyer said softly. "I'm gonna take your pain again."

"James," she sniffled. "I don't want to do this without you."

"Kate," Jack shook his head.

"Freckles, you won't do it alone," Sawyer whispered. "Jack and Margo will help you, and right now, I'm gonna help you. Come on."

She felt Sawyer sitting behind her. She pushed and both babies were born. She laid back and began sobbing. Sawyer held her and then kissed her on the forehead.

"Goodbye love," he whispered. "See you in another life."

"No," she whined. "No. Don't leave me."

"Gotta Freckles," he said softly. "But I'll be waiting for you."

"Let me come now!" she exclaimed. "I want to come with you."

"Sweetness," he began. "You can't come. You have to stay here and take care of our kids. Now stop lookin' at me and look at the little babies in your arms."

"Mary and Micha," she sniffled.

"I love you Freckles."

"I love you too," she sobbed.

Sawyer was gone, and Kate was alone with the babies and Jack looking at her.

"Kate, are you alright?" he asked.

"Sawyer helped me," she whispered. "I know you probably think I'm crazy, but Sawyer helped me."

"I believe you Kate," he said softly.

"I love him so much," she sobbed. "I love him."

"I know," Jack replied.

**2 Weeks Later**

Kate was at home with all of the kids. Aaron and Georgia were pissed and jealous of the new babies. Kate tried her best to spend time with all of them equally but she felt like she couldn't. She missed Sawyer more than ever because he would at least be another parent to help her manage the 4 kids.

At night Kate was extremely lonely in the bed by herself, so she let Aaron and Georgia sleep with her. She sobbed herself to sleep for 2 weeks. They hadn't had a memorial service for Sawyer yet because Kate couldn't handle it.

She was sitting on the couch reading a book. All 4 of the kids were sleeping, which shocked her, but she took the time while she could. Mary and Micha were in their baby seats on the floor. They were identical twins. They had dark brown hair and green eyes, and freckles. No dimples, and they barely looked like Sawyer at all which pissed Kate off. Even though she had wanted desperately for the babies to look like her, now that Sawyer was gone, she wished that they looked more like him. There was a soft knock on the door. Kate got up quickly and opened the door.

"Shh," she whispered. "All of them are sleeping."

"Sorry," Jack said softly. "Kate-"

"Hey," she interrupted.

"Hey," he said. "How are you doin'?"

"I have 4 kids under the age of 4 and I just lost the love of my life. How do you think I am?"

"Yeah," he whispered. "Kate why don't you come stay with us?"

"What do you mean?" she sighed.

"You can't be getting very much sleep lately," he said. "You need your rest so you can be a good mommy to those kids."

"I can't," she answered. "I have to stay strong for my babies. For Sawyer."

"Just-come stay with us," he whispered. "Please. Just for a few weeks. Till we can-"

"Jack, I don't need your pity," she said.

"It isn't pity," he replied. "It's a friend, looking out for a friend. Come stay with us. If you hate it, then you can come back here. But please. Just stay with us. You'll have me and Margo, and Juliet."

"Juliet lives with you now?" she asked.

"We're engaged," he stated.

"Oh yeah, I forgot," she whispered. "And you still live at home?"

"My mom doesn't want to be alone in that big old house. We can all be a big happy family."

**3 Years Later**

"Mommy I don't want to go to kiddy garden tomorrow!" Georgia exclaimed

"Momma, will you come help me read. Uncle Jack is being a dumb dumb," Aaron interrupted and came into the room.

"Aaron, that is not nice," Kate shook her head. "We don't use that word. I'll be there in just a second."

Kate finished tucking Georgia to bed. Mary and Micha were running around the house, so Juliet helped Kate get them back to bed.

"I think these big girl beds were a bad idea," Kate chuckled.

"Nah, they'll get used to it."

Kate sighed softly after the twins were sleeping. She walked into Aaron's room. Aaron was sitting up in bed reading a chapter book. Kate was so proud that Aaron loved to read so much. She sat down on his bed and took the book from him.

"Alright," she sighed. "What's the matter?"

"I miss daddy," Aaron frowned.

"I miss daddy too," she replied. "I miss him every single day."

"Are you gonna love someone else?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Freddie's mommy and daddy got a divorce," he answered. "And now Freddie has a new daddy."

"No he doesn't," Kate shook his head. "And if you ever hear the other kids telling Freddie that I want you to be his friend and say that it's not true."

"But his mommy loves someone else now, and he has a new daddy!" he exclaimed. "Freddie said!"

"Aaron," she started. "I loved your daddy so much. I loved him. I will never love anyone like I loved him. Someday I hope that I can find another man who I can love, and who loves all you guys and maybe you'll have another daddy, but he won't ever ever ever replace your real daddy. I want you to remember that."

"Why do you want to meet someone else momma?" he asked.

"One day maybe you'll understand."

"Tell me mom! I'm 6 in case you forgot," he said.

"Ok," she chuckled. "Well you know how sometimes you get lonely when all your friends are busy and Georgia is playing with her friends, and momma is playing with the twins?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Well grownups sometimes get very lonely too," she answered. "So it's good to have another grownup around."

"But you have Uncle Jack, and Aunt Juliet, and grandma."

"Yeah," she nodded. "But it's good to have another grownup."

"So you can kiss?" he asked mockingly.

"Maybe," she laughed. "But I will never ever kiss anyone like I kissed your daddy. And I will never never never ever, marry anyone who doesn't love you, and Georgie, and Mary, and Micha like crazy."

"Ok," he said.

"I love you buddy," she whispered.

"I love you too momma," he said, and he wrapped his arms around her.

Kate walked out of the room and back into the hall. She sat outside in the hallway and put her head down on her knees. She felt a small figure walking toward her. She lifted her head and saw Jack and Juliet's son Jamie.

"Hi Jamie," she smiled.

"Up!" he exclaimed. She smiled again and lifted him up. She carried him back to his bedroom and then remembered that Jamie was still supposed to be in a crib.

"Juliet!" she exclaimed. Both Jack and Juliet came running into the room.

"What?" she asked.

"I think that we have a prison break here," Kate said.

"Jamie, did you climb out of your crib?" Juliet asked, taking the child from her.

"Yeah," he said intelligently. Kate and Jack chuckled.

"Well with brains like that he'll be in med school in no time," Kate smiled.

"No," Jack shook his head. "He's gonna do whatever he wants. No pressure to be the best."

Kate walked back to her room and got into bed. They all lived together still. Margo was insanely happy being that close to all her grandkids. She always took care of them while Jack, Juliet, and Kate went to work. The only reason why Kate went to work is to keep her mind off missing Sawyer. She never fully got over him, and knew she never would.

**The End**

**A/N: Don't hate me for killing Sawyer! Hah. Please please review! I do have another idea for a story. I'll probably start writing it soon, and hopefully have the first chapter posted by the weekend. **


End file.
